Flowers and live plants can be the perfect gift to send someone to let them know you’re thinking of them. A gorgeous bouquet will put a smile on any recipient’s face, while a small live plant will continue to grow and serve as a living memory of your affection. Sometimes, though, the logistics of delivering flowers or a plant to a loved one get tricky, especially if you live far away from them. Locating a local florist that serves their area or checking the logistics for shipping can be a hassle. Luckily, there are so many great online destinations that can deliver flowers and other greenery wherever you need it to go so that they arrive looking vibrant and fresh. Whether you’re looking for an affordable bouquet or want to brighten someone’s day with a new houseplant, these online stores will help you send a small token of affection to someone you care about.
The Sill is one of the most prominent online destinations for live plants, with a wide selection and easy-to-navigate inventory. Whether you’re looking for a low maintenance succulent or a luxurious monstera, The Sill has options for every personality and experience level.
Proflowers.com offers beautiful bouquets for every occasion from birthdays to sympathy to “just because.” The flowers tend to arrive as buds, meaning your recipient will get to watch them bloom and have them for much longer than your average grocery store bouquet. Proflowers even has options for next day arrival, meaning you’re never too late to show someone in your life a little love.
If you’re looking to browse a lot of options, Urban Stems is a great place to start. Urban Stems delivers flowers, live plants, and even dried flower bouquets that last longer and don’t need any water. Urban Stems can also include other mini gifts in your purchase, so you can shower your loved one with care package extras like sweet treats, candles and lotions. Urban Stems also offers a few subscription plans, so if someone you care about loves to keep a fresh vase of flowers in their home, Urban Stems can deliver.
Bloom Nation helps you source local florists wherever you’re delivering your flowers to make sure you have the best options available. This means you’re sending love while also investing in local businesses at the same time!
Plants.com offers live plant gifts for every occasion, whether you want an animal-shaped planter to send as a birthday gift or a big succulent arrangement for a housewarming party. If your loved one is more of a DIY-er, Plants.com will also deliver a terrarium they can put together on their own!
If you’re looking for gorgeous, colorful options of flowers to deliver, Teleflora has you covered. They offer bouquets in almost every color palette that are perfect for any occasion— one of their more interesting offerings is a birthday cake made out of flowers!
In addition to selling all sorts of gardening and outdoors supplies, Terrain has many plants and flowers that can be delivered anywhere. From simple bunches of flowers to potted topiaries, Terrain specializes in upscale gifts that will add a little something to your loved one’s home.
Succulents are a great gift option; they’re inexpensive, don’t take up much space, are easy to care for and can be combined into bigger arrangements! Sending a little succulent can be a quick and easy way to show you care and anything from Leaf & Clay’s collection are sure to charm the recipient. For a little something extra, you can even give the gift of a succulent subscription or a mystery box.
A bit more eclectic, Modern Sprout does offer a few live plants, including an ‘artisanal chef’ collection of herbs that would make the perfect addition to your favorite chef’s windowsill. But where the store really shines is in its interesting gift selections, including grow kits, herb jars and seed poppers, perfect for out-of-the-box gift ideas for the plant lover in your life.
Delivering flowers or plants can be such a special way to remind someone you’re thinking of them even when you’re far away. Giving the gift of a little life and beauty can celebrate any occasion or help to provide a little light and comfort in darker times. Hopefully these sources will help you get the perfect arrangement to your loved one when it’s needed most.
Connection has gained a completely different definition over the past year. As our world has changed, we’ve had to adapt the ways that we interact with each other, care for each other and connect with each other. Now, we are seeing our worlds change once again. And while this change comes with exciting possibilities for the future, it’s also easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure where to start. This past year was one of reduced interaction for most of us and finding our way to fuller social lives will be an ongoing process. Whether you’re trying to reconnect with old relationships or hoping to foster new ones as the world begins to open back up, intentionality can often be the best remedy.
Here are a few ways to connect with others if you don’t know where to start.
Connecting In Person
As the CDC continues to give us encouraging news about what’s possible for people who have been fully vaccinated against COVID-19 and in light of the weather getting warmer, it’s never been a better time to start planning some creative outdoor activities. A potluck-style picnic with a few close friends is a great way to soak in the sights and sounds of nature while reconnecting with the people that matter most. If you’ve got a musician friend, why not try putting on a backyard concert? You could even rent a projector, grab some blankets and popcorn and start hosting weekly outdoor movie nights.
Many of us have gotten into the habit of taking a walk each day, which can be great for our mental and physical health— recruiting a friend who lives nearby to be your “walking buddy” can help you keep this good habit alive while giving you the boost of catching up with someone you care about.
The outdoors also brings plenty opportunities to spark a new interest or meet new people. A local outdoor yoga class or other distance exercise class can help you feel better, get some fresh air, and get used to being around people again.
As always, it’s important to stay abreast of the CDC’s most recent recommendations. You can read their current advisories here.
Strengthening Remote Relationships
As we prepare to see our social media flooded with footage of people out and about once again, it might make us feel like we’re expected to have a full social calendar at all times. It’s easy to feel like the only connections that matter are those you can see in person, and this might be stressful after a year when we haven’t been able to maintain many of these connections. If you feel like your in-person social circle has shrunk, try to remember the lesson this past year taught us: just because someone isn’t in your physical presence doesn’t mean they aren’t there for you. Think of your relatives or friends who live in a different city or state than you and consider reaching out. You can still take advantage of how easy it’s become to connect with loved ones virtually, whether it’s through a video chat or a Netflix With Friends session.
If everything is starting to feel more fast paced as our worlds open up again, letter writing might be the solution for creating space and slowing things down for thoughtful communication. If you find yourself texting and emailing all day long but still feeling disconnected, you might want to change up the way you’re communicating. See if any of your friends would be interested in becoming pen pals; chances are, some of your friends have been feeling the same way. Written mail is a great way to be more mindful about your connections to the people you care about, and the best part is how reciprocal it is! You get to brighten someone’s mailbox with a hand-written missive, and you receive the same joy when they reply! You can even use this strategy to bring an entire friend group closer together— if many of your friends live far apart, try starting up an email thread where someone different sends a little update about their life each week. It’s an easy way to make you feel more aware of and connected to your friends, and helps the distance feel a little smaller.
Finding New Community
Even as things start to open up, the Internet can still give you a head start when it comes to meeting people. Chances are, your neighborhood or town already has a Facebook or Nextdoor group devoted to staying connected and updated on local happenings. Getting plugged in not only keeps you in the know, but can help you keep an eye out for community events you’re interested in where you might make a new friend. In addition to the general neighborhood groups, Buy Nothing groups are a great way to seek support and give back all at once. Buy Nothing groups are Facebook groups for your specific area where users can post about a need or something they’d like to give away. They’re a great way to feel the impact of living in a close-knit community, and are always there for you to seek help or give an old possession a second life. With a little intentionality, your neighborhood can turn into a real community for you with all the support and connection that that entails.
If you love to read, book clubs are a great way to turn a passion into a chance for real and lasting connection. Sites like Reader’s Circle and MeetUp have listings for book clubs in your area with descriptions so you can find the exact right fit for you and your genre of choice. Your local library might also host book club events, and you can always search for local groups on Facebook for likeminded readers.
Taking a class is a great way to expand your horizons, but it can also help you find new people who have the same interests as you. The Daily Om has offerings centered around fitness and wellness, while Skill Share can help you pick up a new creative skill and Master Class can bring you wisdom straight from the experts. For a free alternative, check out your local library’s event roster to see if anything piques your interest; most libraries offer classes in everything from personal finance and small business advice to conversing in a foreign language. You can start to build a community by finding connection around something you care about and expanding your perspective or developing a skill.
After a year of quarantining, we all might feel rusty when it comes to making connections and having conversations. The most important thing to remember is that this period is an adjustment. It was a challenge for all of us to get used to living differently in the pandemic, and while getting some aspects of our old life back is exciting, you can’t expect your brain and body to snap right back into their old groove. Be patient with yourself if things feel overwhelming— you don’t have to follow anyone’s pace but your own. No matter what your needs and style are, there are so many opportunities to meet someone new, establish fun traditions or rediscover old ones. Whether you decide to take a class, start a group or invest more in your neighborhood, here’s hoping that this year will mean more community for us all.
It’s no secret that we humans love our pets. Our obsession with pets knows no bounds— we’ve even created our own pet celebrities, like Doug the Pug or Maru the cat. We are endlessly fascinated by our furry family members, and humanize them in so many ways. And who can blame us? They seem to feed off of our emotions, can sense when we are upset, and can even be trained as therapy companions. They’re so smart, which is what can make it even more frustrating that we can’t simply talk with them! But what if we can? Before I stumbled upon the Christina Hunger’s Instagram account, @hunger4words, I thought talking dogs were a thing of the movies. It turns out we are a lot closer to conversing with our animals, particularly our dogs, than we think! A speech pathologist, Christina Hunger created a system of push buttons, each with a different voice recorded word, so she could teach her dog Stella to communicate. And if you’ve ever lost a couple hours scrolling through the videos on her account (guilty), you know that it’s been working.
Stella’s ability to think, press a certain button, and wait for a response is incredible, and got me thinking about how we can better communicate with our animals in general. Not all of us have the time or patience to train a dog to use Hunger’s method (if you do, I recommend buying her new book on the subject), but we can do a better job of listening to nonverbal cues. If anything, Stella’s success with language just confirms that our animals are as smart as we thought they were. Maybe not on the same level as an orangutan or elephant, but they still have something to say! Here are five ways you can be a better listener for your pets.
Learn Their Body Language
Body language is very intuitive, so most of the time you can probably sense when something is off with your pet. But it never hurts to brush up on some universal signals that might be helpful in determining what your animal is trying to tell you. It can also be a great safety tool for kids, as not every dog or cat out there wants to be approached. A few telltale signs can help you identify what an animal is feeling. For instance, if a cat’s ears are pointed up or relaxed, they’re probably in a good mood, and blinking slowly is a sign that they trust you, but ears pointed backwards or flattened against their head, combined with an arched back or defensive posture, means they’re feeling aggressive or scared. Likewise, a dog’s ears and tail can be great signals for determining their mood; a wagging tail means they’re feeling playful but ears that are down and back or a tail that’s curled between their legs are both signals that they’re not in the mood to be approached. This graphic on the body language of dogs, and this one for cats, can be handy for telling the differences in an animal’s moods.
Learn to Recognize the Signs of a Sick Pet
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives, that it’s easy to miss subtle signs from our pets that they may not be feeling too well. Below is a list of common signs that it might be time to take your pet to the vet for a check-up:
Hiding (resting in concealed places)
Loss of appetite
Excessive licking or scratching of the body
Overall decrease of energy
Change in bowel movements
Weight loss or gain
Urinating more or less frequently
Excessive drinking
Be Cognizant Of the Fact That Your Pet Has Emotions Too
Pets, especially dogs, feed off of our emotions. This is why they make such wonderful therapy animals! But, this also means that they can feel down at times as well. According to a People article with Dr. Brian Hare, a canine cognition expert, “It is very possible for dogs to become depressed. After 9/11 it was reported that many of the search and rescue dogs were suffering from depression-like symptoms because they could never find any survivors, only bodies. Their handlers would stage “fake” finds so that the dogs would cheer up and keep searching. Additionally, dogs do tend to become attached to their owners and will behave differently when that person is not around. Given their great capacity for empathy, dogs can also respond to their owners’ moods and feelings, like depression.” So, it’s important to be aware of your pet’s emotional state, because it’s your job to take care of them! Playing fetch might be all it takes to lift their spirits.
Make Sure Your Pet Has a Healthy Routine
Pets need routines with healthy diets, exercise, and play just as we do! And since we already know how attuned pets are to our own emotions, it’s no surprise that they need proper care to feel their happiest. Simply taking a short walk around the block with your dog, or carving out time to play with your cat, can benefit the both of you! It’ll give you and your pet necessary exercise, and a little endorphin boost. It’s also important to make sure that your pet is responding well to the food you are feeding it. If digestive issues are occurring, you might want to consider changing your pet’s diet. While we might think that pets have iron guts, they can actually be just as sensitive as we are.
Consider a Non-Traditional Method for Connecting With Your Animal
During my research for this piece, I came across many articles about alternative wellness methods for a happier pet. Energy work, reiki, and homeopathy are just a few of the options out there. If you’ve already been to the vet and feel like your pet could benefit from one of these services— go for it! You never know what kind of results they might yield. Even if your pet seems completely healthy, there’s always room to improve its quality of life. If anything, it might be a fun experience to share with your pet!
I hope these tips gave you something new to consider while taking care of your pet. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rush of everyday life and miss certain cues from our furry family members. Because as it turns out, they have a lot to say. And if you haven’t checked out the @hunger4words account yet, what are you still doing here?
Have you ever felt misunderstood in a relationship, or felt that you and your partner are speaking completely different languages? Do you find yourself avoiding conflict at all costs, or alternately find yourself in arguments that never seem to solve anything? Imago therapy might be able to help. Founded by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980, Imago teaches us to look at conflicts as opportunities to deepen our understanding of each other and look at our pasts to understand the impact they’re still having on our present.
We’re Always Growing
Deborah J. Fox, MSW, a licensed clinical social worker and couples counselor who is certified in Imago therapy, says that when Hendrix and Hunt created Imago, “they took a lot of the accepted psychological theory and applied it to marital relationships.” She says it emphasizes that we’re not done growing when we reach adulthood, and that serious relationships are yet another stage of development for us. “We’re still growing, we’re still changing and in a committed relationship we can really grow into our potential.” The dynamics we have with out partners can do a lot to impact this growth, for better or worse, and being mindful of this can already put us ahead.
Nobody comes into a relationship as a blank slate; we’re all bringing a life full of memories and coping mechanisms into any given relationship. This is why unpacking our past can help to build a better future with the ones we care about. “We’ve started to understand that nobody had a perfect life,” Fox says. “We’ve all had hurts, we’ve all had disappointments in our life, some more, some less… As adults, we’re still seeking to heal some of those hurts and disappointments.”
Two Sides to Everything
Fox says that in her thirty years as a marriage counselor, she’s seen that there’s truth in the adage “opposites attract,” even if it’s not exactly what people think. She says we often look for a partner that brings us an opportunity to grow in some way or offers a different perspective from our own; for example, someone who’s very fun loving, free wheeling and indecisive might find themselves attracted to someone more stable, dependable and organized. What they don’t realize, Fox says, is that this attraction to differences is what can so often cause friction. “Imago helps us understand that why we might want to fire our partner is really the flip side of why we hired them in the first place.” For instance, the fun loving person who marries a stable partner might, a few years later, want to “fire” their partner for not being spontaneous enough. Or, alternately, the stable person might have found themselves attracted to the spontaneous person because of how fun and exciting they are, only to find themselves wishing they had a partner who was more organized or responsible. These contradictions can be hard to understand at first, but they can also give us huge opportunities to grow. “These complaints they have about each other are really zeroing in on exactly where each partner really needs to grow if they’re gonna be their fullest person.” The stable person might realize they can learn to be less rigid or stop to smell the roses, and the spontaneous person can examine their own indecisiveness. These conflicts can be a great space to find “growth pieces,” as Fox calls them: areas where we can develop more fully or fill in blind spots in our perspectives.
Bring Intentionality to Your Arguments
You never plan on having an argument, which by definition makes them an unpredictable scenario. Fox says it can make a world of difference to plan ahead and set a few rules for what to do when you experience conflict or tempers flare. She says it’s always helpful to stop and take a beat— there’s no use trying to problem solve if one or both of you is feeling heated. “We know now that when you’re highly emotional the logic centers in your brain get dummer so they’re not as active, so that statement of ‘I’m so upset I can’t think straight’ is actually psychologically true.” In heated situations, it’s easy for your brain to go into fight-or-flight mode and start focusing on trying to protect you from danger, which means it’s not in the best state for clear, empathetic conversation. If an argument is getting emotional, the best course of action is to separate and regroup once you’ve had a chance to calm down.
The second thing that’s useful to remember in any conflict is that only one person should be speaking at a time. “What Imago teaches,” Fox says, “is how important it is that one person has the floor and the other person agrees ahead of time to listen until they finish.” Fox says she personally has her patients set a time limit of five minutes, because this is usually enough time to get your point across clearly and fully. She says the next step is to take another pause so that the listener can have time to absorb what was said without getting reactive. “It gives each of you the time to think about what you’ve heard, be reflective, and think about what you’d like to contribute to the problem.” Then the listener can take the floor to respond in their own time.
She says another tool she uses with her patients is mirroring, a more intense version of active listening. “If you do it right, it’s not only reflecting back the words you’ve heard but it really is an effort to step into the other person’s world and really understand what they’re saying and why they’re saying what they’re saying.” She says that in our everyday communications we can miss so much of what the other person is saying because we’re feeling defensive or trying to think about what we’re going to say next. When you listen to someone with the intent to mirror, you’re more likely to understand what they’re saying because you’re summarizing their perspective in your own words after they speak. Fox says that, for many of her patients, mirroring is when they finally understand their partner’s perspective on something, even if it’s a topic that’s come up a thousand times. “When you’re actually asked to mirror something you listen in a different way.” She says mirroring is even more powerful because it lets the speaker know they’ve really been heard, and lets them clarify anything they’ve said after the fact.
The Power of Understanding
Fox says creating this kind of space where both people are really listening and working to understand can revolutionize our relationships. “That understanding can lead to a greater feeling of connection between two people, because a lot of what creates tensions is when people feel disconnected, misunderstood and isolated.” When there’s room to share without judgement or fear of a snappy reaction, it gives us time to get to the bottom of what we’re really trying to say. Fox says we often know where we’re starting when we speak up about something but we’re not always sure where we’re going to end up. Talking things over with an empathetic partner who’s focused on listening can help us find the deeper causes to our conflicts. “It can really help the person who’s speaking to access a more vulnerable place in themselves, which is probably where the source of the problem is.”
In this way, Imago can be an amazing tool for bringing us closer together while drawing attention to the places where we experience misunderstandings. The ultimate goal is to see conflict not as inherently bad but rather as an opportunity to learn more about our partners and ourselves.
Learning More
If you think the principles of Imago therapy would have something to offer you in your relationships, there are several ways to pursue it further. The tools it teaches, like mirroring, are easier to incorporate when you’re working with an Imago certified therapist in a dedicated space. Fox says that Imago workshops can also be a great resource for couples; many are now offered virtually online or socially distanced for safety. To learn more about the basics of Imago or get more insight into its teachings, you can also read Hendrix’s and Hunt’s original book, Getting The Love You Want, as well as its companion workbook.
It’s been three years since Amber’s cat got insta-famous. When she first got Jake, her striking four-year-old bengal cat, she laughed off suggestions from her friends to make him his own account on Instagram. But when posts on her personal account that featured Jake kept getting attention from random users, she decided to go for it. “In three days, I had more followers on [Jake’s account] than on my own personal Instagram that I’d had for three years,” she says. Users loved to follow Jake’s exploits and admire his gorgeous dappled coat. However, not long after she’d gotten Jake, she was facing a dilemma. Bengals, especially ones who have been raised with dogs like Jake has, are extremely athletic, and love to run, jump and climb. Jake got into the habit of dashing at doors, trying to get out of the house any time he got the chance. Twice, he got out. The second time, he disappeared for four days. Amber was certain that he had been stolen. When Jake turned back up on her porch on that fourth day, she knew they both needed a change. “He’s clearly got wild cat in him and wants to go outside,” she says, “but he’s so beautiful, he’s going to get stolen.” She found her inspiration in a pile of wood left over from a fence she and her husband were building in the back yard just after Jake’s second birthday. “I asked my husband if we could build a catio. He definitely thought I was crazy at first.”
It wasn’t long before the catio, a wooden enclosure that Jake could access from a window, started to take shape. Amber’s design was inspired by images she’d found on Pinterest and with her husband’s help the catio quickly evolved into a space full of shelves, toys and bedding that is, simply put, Jake’s favorite place on earth. As soon as the catio went up, the door dashing ceased; Jake gets his daily dose of nature curled up in the sun in the safety of his catio. “Jake will go outside for hours, especially in the summer,” Amber says. “He just watches the birds and the squirrels and he just sits out there and naps, totally calm. He really loves it.”
Amber says the easiest way to create a catio space your cats love is to take your cues from them. She’s constantly adding and changing elements in the catio to see what Jake, and now his little “brother” Juneau, enjoy. “Just keep changing it,” she says to anyone considering a catio. “They’re cats, they’re curious. They like to explore. When they start to get used to something, put in something else. Throw them a curveball.”
Amber spends a lot of time in the catio with her animals, so she can really get a feel for what they like. If she notices Jake spending a lot of time laying on a particular shelf, she’ll add a bed there. She once added some wooden stepping stones and quickly noticed that he “flat out refused to use them. He would just jump an extra couple feet just so he wouldn’t go on them.” They were soon replaced with something more to Jake’s liking. By contrast, Jake’s favorite catio feature is a swing bridge that Amber made herself out of wooden slats strung together with rope. He’s constantly on the bridge now, soaking up the sun.
Amber says she’s really enjoyed the community that comes with sharing about her catio both online and in real life. She’ll often see comments on her posts from people who are just starting on their own catios: “People comment all these nice things like, ‘Thank you for inspiring us to give our cat that same kind of space.’ It’s cool to hear.” In real life, she knows of at least a few people she works with who are working on catios of their own. “One lives on a busy street so she never wanted to let her cats outside. She saw my catio and said, ‘That’s awesome! I’m doing that too.’ And her cats love it. A lot of people are worried for their kitties and don’t want their kitties to get hurt. This is a fun way to keep them exploring and make their life a little more interesting.”
Amber loves to make seasonal changes as well, bringing out plants when the weather is nice and decorating the catio for holidays. In the future, Amber plans on completely updating the catio, ripping out the back and doubling the size. She wants to add more features that play to her bengals’ natural love of water, like a fountain or waterfall.
When Toni tragically lost one of her cats to an accident, she knew she couldn’t afford another loss and decided to start keeping her other cats inside permanently. When her cats started getting restless, she took to the internet for solutions and quickly found a photo of an enclosure someone had built outside a window to let their cats get some air. With more research, she learned these enclosures had a name: catios. “That was all it took,” Toni says. “A vision was born and construction began.” Her first catio was a simple window box that hung on the outside of the house, built using scrap wood from other projects. Unsure if their cats would take to it, Toni didn’t put a lot of effort into this first experiment. “We weren’t sure if they would use it or not so we didn’t spend a lot of time making it pretty.” The catio was an instant hit, and after a storm damaged the structure they took the opportunity to hire a contractor and build a bigger, better catio. “Off we went on a catio adventure. Paws down, it’s the best upgrade to the house we’ve ever done,” she says.
Toni says the cats love the catio and that it reduced a lot of the tension in their multi-cat household. Holly, Lucky, Scooter, Smudge, Fudge and Nano all find their way out to the catio on a daily basis, enjoying the fresh air and taking in the birds who perch at the nearby feeders. She says there’s been a decrease in furniture scratching and “kitty disagreements” with the extra space and stimulation that the catio provides.
One of the most distinguishing features of Toni’s catio is how green it is. A combination of plastic and live plants help to make the space feel like a miniature jungle. Toni highly recommends filling a catio with both real and artificial plants. It’s important to do research before adding any live plants as many are toxic to cats; luckily, the ASPCA and Plants For Cats both have guides to choosing cat-friendly plants. Toni has a few of her own favorites; she recommends the spider plant for its resilience (“easy to grow and it shakes off the nibbling of leaves with no problem!”), areca palms for a tropical feel and prayer plants for gorgeous, colorful leaves. Toni says that plastic alternatives are a lifesaver if you aren’t able to devote a lot of time to tending and watering; she likes to use them in hard-to-reach areas of the catio that would be difficult to get water to.
A few small details go a long way in making the catio magical. Toni says they installed bird feeders around the outside of the catio and after the birds realized they were in no danger from the cats on the other side of the mesh, they quickly became the cats’ favorite form of entertainment. She says adding a bit of mood lighting is always a good idea; a few solar lights are an inexpensive way to add a great look in the evenings. Like Amber, Toni gives the catio some seasonal twists: “The cats get their own Christmas tree!”
One of the first things Toni learned when putting together the catio was to eliminate dead ends; when you have more than one cat, it’s important not to leave opportunities for them to get in each others’ way, block or even trap each other in a corner or on a high shelf. After a few weeks, they started to notice when the cats seemed to want a new ramp to a certain area and added in more shelves accordingly. “We let them tell us what they wanted.” It became evident that the cats wanted a shelf directly in front of the window looking into the catio. “We didn’t put one there at first because we didn’t want to obstruct our view. But it turned out the cats really wanted to watch us from outside. So we added the walkway and now they love sitting outside and watching the humans inside.” She extends this advice to anyone else who’s putting a catio together: “If you have a catio and find your cats don’t use it much consider some reasons. Does it lack comfort items like beds? Is there a place to hide out? If you live in an area with extreme temperatures can you mitigate that by adding additional shade or shelter?”
One last tip: Toni advises new catio owners to pay attention to your flooring. She says that you should always start with a concrete, wood, or paver block floor rather than building a catio on bare dirt or sand; she says if left on its own the floor of your catio will quickly become a mess.
For years now, Alan Breslauer’s company, Custom Catios, has created bespoke cat enclosures for cat guardians in Southern California. He sees catios as the solution to the very real dilemma many cat guardians face between letting their cats out and keeping them in. He points to how much lower the life expectancy is for outdoor roaming cats and the toll they can take on local bird populations as reasons someone might keep their cats inside. On the other hand, he says, “there are all these risks for indoor cats too. Primarily obesity because they don’t get enough exercise, there can be territorial aggression in a multi-cat household, but most importantly it’s the boredom and stress-relieving behaviors.” He says these behaviors, like clawing carpets, marking and door dashing, are often caused by boredom and being prevented from doing what comes naturally to them. “Indoor house cats are going to live a much longer life, but is it a happy life?” Alan’s work helps bridge the gap between these two concerns: giving cats access to the fresh air, stimulation and exercise of the outdoors while preventing any harm to the cat or to the surrounding environment. He sees catios as the perfect way to help cats achieve the kind of activity they were meant for— without taking it out on your wallpaper. “Cats have all these souped up traits. They can hear with pinpoint accuracy. They can see in near total darkness. They can jump five to seven times their body height. Imagine having all that stuff and not being able to use it.”
Alan says that it’s obvious how much having access to a catio can improve an indoor cat’s life. He says that when he’s present to see his clients’ cats experience their catios for the first time, “It’s so much fun, just the joy of the cat. I know we can’t attribute human feelings to cats but it certainly looks like joy: the rolling around and the jumping and the purring. And the owners are so happy when they see it.” He says in general cats are much more impressed with height than square footage; a tall catio with lots of lofty shelves and climbable elements will help your cat show off its natural agility and give it a space it’ll never tire of. “Watching a cat climb up a pole, talk about pure joy,” he says.
He says that his clients will often report back that behavioral issues like marking in the house, door dashing or clawing furniture has reduced after the addition of a catio. “I never promise people it’s going to fix the behavioral issues,” he says, “But it never makes it worse.”
As his business has expanded and more people learn about and want a catio of their own, Alan has gotten to experiment with a lot of fun extra features: everything from floor to ceiling climbing poles, outdoor litter box compartments, hiding boxes and peek-a-boo bubble beds are available to help clients build their perfect version of “Cat Disneyland.”
Alan has a lot of tips for catio owners looking to flesh out their brand new enclosures. “When we leave, hopefully they’re just beginning at that point. We usually leave them one bed as a gift to get started. Beds are great not just because cats like beds but also because it gives them a place to leave their scent.” He thinks every catio should have a sign on it as well. “You should name your catio.” He says the mesh around the outside of the catio gives owners opportunities to embellish with anything from fake butterflies to long, winding vines.
Because the point of the catio is to allow indoor cats to experience nature, he says, it’s important to maximize the experience. Adding bird feeders and building your catio near bushes and flowerbeds will help attract birds, bugs and other wildlife for your cat to take in while it lounges. “If your catio is in a concrete area, you need to bring that stuff to the catio,” he says. Even a smattering of potted plants will help create the stimulating environment your cat is hoping for.
All in all, Alan couldn’t ask for a better job. “I love what I do and I truly believe I have the best job in the world,” he says. “I go to work every day and I really do feel like I’m helping cats and their cat guardians and the environment, all these birds and other animals that are otherwise potentially in the cats’ harm’s way. I feel like I’m doing good all around.”
Earth Day is a great opportunity to reflect on our relationship to the planet and deepen our connections to it. The best way to celebrate today is to think about the parts of nature you feel the most grateful for, and then consider ways you can protect and respect those spaces. Here are some ways to remember your relationship with the earth and why it’s so precious.
Invest in Earth-Friendly Products
Getting reusable, non-plastic home goods when you can is a great way to help protect our natural resources and can even save you money!
If you constantly have a hair tie on your wrist in case of emergencies (or a windy day!) you’ve probably never paused to think about what’s in them. Many elastic hair ties aren’t biodegradable, meaning that whenever you break or lose one it ends up creating waste. Terra Ties are a fun and easy solution. Made with natural rubber and organic cotton, these ties are 100% biodegradable and they’re just as durable, stretchy and long lasting as the competition.
A lot of common household sponges are made from materials like nylon that can release plastic microfibers into the water as they’re used. In this case, returning to nature can be the best solution! Natural sponges are better for the environment and often you can buy them online at really low prices. If you shop around you can find some exciting small businesses that might even throw in some goat soap! While you’re at it, pick up some silk face sponges that are gentle on skin and great for makeup and nail care.
We all love leftovers, but keeping them fresh can have an environmental cost. Luckily, both cling wrap and plastic bags both have reusable alternatives! You can buy a pack of reusable cling wraps made from beeswax that can keep food fresh, whether you use it to wrap up fruit or seal a bowl. Each wrap will last for around a year and can be composted when you’re done.
Connect with the Elements
Courtesy of Unsplash
Earth Day is about more than just making environmentally friendly purchases. It’s also a chance to remember and appreciate all the natural beauty around us. Yes, this could mean going on a hike but it also could just mean honoring the elements of the natural world. Focus on your senses: feeling the sun on your skin, hearing the wind rush through the leaves, feeling the grass under your feet. If you live near the coast, try taking a trip to listen to the tides and reflect on the power there is in being part of this great big ecosystem. Think about what you appreciate most about our home planet, whether it’s the sound of birds singing or the view from your favorite overlook, and spend today chasing those favorite sensations and honoring the connection you feel to them.
With the pandemic moving so much of our life online, it’s never been easier to attend an event right from your own couch. This year there are so many great Earth Day events being hosted digitally to educate, connect and just have fun. EarthDay.Org, has a full roster of live workshops, panel discussions, and special performances you can stream for free today or you can browse recordings of past panels here. Earth Day Initiative also has a lineup of speakers including Elizabeth Warren and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and you can watch all of last year’s momentous Earth Day 50 coverage here.
Connect with a Cause
Courtesy of Unsplash
There are so many ways to invest in the planet we love, and they don’t just involve money! Donating your time or other resources to a cause you care about is a great way to honor the planet this year and after a year of isolation it can really help you find connection and build community around something you’re passionate about. Try looking up a conservation effort near you, find a park or beach cleanup event on Facebook, donate or volunteer to a wildlife project, the sky is the limit!
Earth Day is also the perfect chance to plan a little movie night, whether you want to check out a moving documentary or watch something that connects you with the beauty of the planet. Gorgeous, soothing documentaries like the BBC series Planet Earth, a narrated journey through the wonders of nature, or Disneynature’s Ghost of the Mountains, which follows a team of filmmakers’ attempts to photograph an elusive snow leopard family, can help you remember all the beautiful biodiversity that makes this planet so incredible. Or a documentary like Chasing Coral, about scientists’ fight to preserve our reefs, or a film like Dark Waters, based on the real story of a community impacted by chemical contamination, can provoke deeper thought or conversation about environmental issues that ultimately impact us all.
For something on the lighter side, try BBC’s Animal Babies: First Year On Earth, or theirSpy In The Wildseries that uses robotic animals to get close-up recordings of species like otters and chimpanzees. It’s as cute and funny as it is fascinating.
Being environmentally conscious doesn’t have to be a drag or an obligation. At the heart of it, holidays like Earth Day are opportunities for us to connect with what the earth means to us, to find those special places we want to connect to and preserve and spend a moment being grateful for them. Use today as an excuse to get out to your favorite nature site, look out for one of your wildlife neighbors, learn something new or make a reusable purchase that will make a difference every day.
As I’ve said before, creative writing can be an incredible release, allowing us to escape to new worlds, explore things we’re wrestling with and express ourselves fully. Sometimes it can feel difficult or even intimidating to get started in creative writing. To find some guidance on how to get started, we got a chance to speak to author Alex R. Kahler. Best known for works like The Immortal Circus and TheRunebinder Chronicles, Alex has written two dozen books for readers of all ages and has focused specifically on bringing more LGBTQ+ representation to genre fiction. We got Alex’s advice for diving into creative writing as well as his go-to tips for gaining inspiration and diffusing writer’s block.
Carrie Ann: Are there any practices or exercises you do to engage your creativity?
Alex: I absolutely love going for long walks. Nothing gets my creative brain engaged better than, well, actively stepping away from the computer and doing something physical. By putting my ideas on the backburner and just absorbing my surroundings and falling into a rhythmic exercise, I find that my subconscious or writing brain is able to make connections and build a story better than I ever could if I was just sitting and trying to force it. Even just pacing back and forth has helped me navigate difficult plot holes.
Carrie Ann: What do you think creative writing has to offer people who pursue it, even just as a hobby?
Alex: So much. Creative writing can be very therapeutic. It can offer a space to reflect, a space to let go, a space to process. It can also give the writer a chance to ‘try out’ other lives. Writing develops a great deal of introspection and self-awareness, an ability to problem solve and think ahead. Plus, there’s the satisfaction at the end of the day that you have created something that simply did not exist before. You’ve put something new into the world.
Carrie Ann: Are there any specific works, types of media, places or people that make you feel particularly inspired to create?
Alex: This is a tough one. I think that once you start writing (or creating in general) you begin opening up to inspiration wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, so it’s difficult to pinpoint an exact source. I know, however, that being out in nature inspires me. As does a good song I can have on repeat for hours. Or live shows. Or a binge-worthy TV series. Honestly, I think most of my inspiration comes from non-book sources, from places that engage my other senses.
Carrie Ann: Do you experience writer’s block at all? What does it feel like when you get writer’s block and how do you combat it?
Alex: Oh of course. I’ve just started running, and besides feeling like my joints are much older than the rest of me, the similarity to working on a project is far too apparent. There’s the sluggishness right before you’re about to Do The Thing. The desire to stay in bed just a little bit longer. And then, the first few minutes when all I can think is why am I doing this? This doesn’t feel good.
But, like running, the only way out is through (and pacing yourself!).
I do think it’s necessary to take breaks from projects, to work on something else for a time. Especially if it’s an altogether different creative medium. But you eventually just have to come back and push through. It gets a little easier when you’ve taken some time off. You strengthen the creative muscles and give your subconscious something to mull over.
And, hey—the most important thing to remember with writer’s block is that it doesn’t have to be perfect! You can always go back and edit.
Carrie Ann: What are your favorite things to write about?
Alex: I love love love world building. Dreaming up fantasy worlds and magical systems is one of my favorite things. Probably because that’s how I spent most of my time as a kid. So my favorite things to write are inspired by fairy tales and myths and daydreams, but also colored from my life experiences: wizards and circus artists, faeries and boarding schools, magic and friendships. Getting to step away from the mundane world and into pure fantasy is incredible, especially since I know I get to share that with others.
Carrie Ann: When you get an idea you want to write about, how do you get started? Do you usually work to create the big picture or do you begin by focusing on smaller details?
Alex: A friend of mine has a saying: don’t scare the bunny. And I’ve held onto that phrase for years.
When I get an idea (usually as I’m trying to fall asleep) I’ll write it down in a note app or on a scrap of paper and then I’ll let it sit. I don’t want to scare the good idea off. And I think that’s what happens if you jump at it the first time you see it. The Idea usually just isn’t ready.
Sometimes it will sit there for hours, or weeks, or even years. But I always go back over my list of ideas, and sometimes a few of them join up, and sometimes the spark turns into a bang and suddenly The Idea forms. When that happens, I’m all about world building. I’ll grab a big sheet of paper and list out everything I can think of pertaining to this particular world or story: architecture and landmarks, plot points that I know I want to happen, magical systems, mythologies, the characters I see inhabiting the world. Slowly, as the world forms, the plot takes shape. But it’s rare that I start a book based off a character. It’s almost always about the world.
Carrie Ann: What advice would you give to someone who wants to write but doesn’t know what to write about?
Alex: I say this gently: Just start.
It’s that simple, and that difficult. You won’t know what you love to write about until you’ve written a bunch of things you don’t. Just as you won’t find your voice until you’ve mimicked many others. Read broadly, write broadly. And, most importantly: don’t share those first tender drafts. Even to people who will be respectful and positive. I think that the magic needs to be kept to yourself at first—you have to let it build, and then your confidence will build. I still don’t talk about first drafts or ideas to anyone except my agent and a select writing friend or two. Even then, I keep details vague.
I say this because even though we are our own worst critics, I think we all write with the idea— and fear— of someone else reading it. So we self-edit. We don’t give ourselves room to play. We immediately crush the dream by saying this is stupid or this has been done or this will never sell. Those statements aren’t important. What’s important is giving yourself space to play and create without outside interference. That’s where the magic is.
Carrie Ann: Are there any prompts or exercises that you’ve found especially helpful when you’re trying to write something new?
Not to sound like a broken record, but walking. Any repetitive physical activity that lets me drop out of my brain and into my body. That, and I’ll start a new document and format it all pretty and just start tossing in ideas and notes.
Put as much as you can on the page to start— there are no wrong answers or ideas! Give yourself everything you can to work with.
Live plants are a great way to add life and vibrance to your spaces, and the process of keeping up with them and watching them grow can be so soothing and enriching. But if you’re a beginner plant parent, it can be stressful to know what a new plant needs. Some are sensitive to overwatering and others will wilt quickly without attention and figuring out where the best light is in your home can be a complicated process. That’s why we’ve found some of the lowest maintenance plants so you can easily stock your home with life without feeling stressed out or guilty for not meeting their needs. From shade plants to air plants, here are some low maintenance plants that are forgiving and easy to care for, the perfect addition to anyone’s home.
1. Pothos
Vibrant and winding, pothos are a great option for any home. They quickly grow leafy trailing tendrils if they’re not trimmed so they can fill a lot of space— they can easily take up the same amount of space as a tall potted plant for much less money and upkeep. Pothos are very shade friendly (some even call them “cubicle plants”) so they don’t need very much light and don’t need more than a watering every couple of weeks.
2. Sansiveria
Also called snake plants, sansiverias are one of the lowest maintenance plants you can find. They only need to be watered once a month or less and they’re light versatile, meaning they’ll be as happy in a shady space as they will in direct sunlight. There are even reports that in large quantities sansiverias can help purify the air in your spaces, and their deep green coloring will add beauty to any room.
3. ZZ Plant
ZZ plants, or zamioculcas plants, are extremely low maintenance and thrive in lower light; as long as you keep it out of direct sunlight, it will be a gorgeous accessory to your decor. ZZ plants are also able to store water in their root systems for months, so they can go for long stretches without being watered. A word of caution: ZZ plants can be toxic, so use discretion if you have pets or small children.
4. Air Plant
Air plants are trendy and make for the perfect decor in any setting; you can leave them on shelves or rest them in bottles, trays, bowls or even sea shells for the perfect addition to any room. Even better, air plants’ watering schedule couldn’t be easier. Simply let them soak in water every week or so and they’ll stay bright and beautiful. Just make sure you let the plants dry fully so they don’t develop any rot!
5. Spider Plant
Spider plants are so low maintenance that they’re basically unkillable; they’re able to grow in lower light and only need watering every couple of weeks. This is another houseplant that can help to purify the air, and you can even easily propagate cuttings to grow new plants.
6. Chinese Money Plant
In addition to having an interesting look, Chinese money plants are very easy to care for and need only sporadic watering and indirect sunlight. Place it anywhere in your home where it can soak up the light without getting hit by a direct beam and watch it grow gorgeous, green discs. As an added bonus, when their stems fall off you can replant them to make new plants!
You don’t have to have a world class green thumb to stock your home with lovely green plants. There are so many varieties of low maintenance houseplants that are forgiving and will fill your home with natural vibrance without demanding a lot of attention or care. Hopefully one of these plants will make the perfect addition to your home and will add peace and calm wherever you place it.
Crystals can do a lot for a space, whether you’re collecting them with specific intentions in mind or just responding to ones that call to you personally. For centuries people have felt drawn to crystals and stones their ability to impact our energy, provide clarity and protection, or even heal or cleanse us. It can be daunting to start the process of collecting crystals if you don’t know where to start or don’t have a favorite source yet, and as so much of our shopping has gone online this year, why not buy crystals online too?
You can have just as much fun shopping for crystals online as you can finding them in real life; you can still follow your intuition, scrolling through the inventories of well-stocked shops and reading their meanings to guide you to the perfect new crystal for you. Having a few reliable online stores can be a great way to start to learn your taste and see what crystals are available.
Here are 9 stores with quality inventory that can ship the crystals of your choice directly to you.
Aum & Garden is a boutique that sells everything you need to make your home and garden into your personal sanctuary. Their online crystal selection includes both small, inexpensive pieces and larger and rarer stones.
Based in Los Angeles, House of Intuition has earned a reputation as a provider for spiritual wellness and guidance, offering everything from candles and healing baths to online classes. Luckily, their high quality crystal stash is available online for people to buy wherever they live. House of Intuition’s crystal inventory includes descriptions of the benefits of each stone, including which chakra they have a connection to.
The Sage Goddess has a wide collection of different types of crystals, from stone slabs and fossils to carvings and pillars. This site is a great resource if you already know what type of crystal you’d like to buy and are looking for some amazing options.
If you don’t know where to begin while searching for crystals to buy, Crystal Muse has a glossary of meanings to help you find your way to the right stone for you. Crystal Muse’s easy-to-use inventory labels each crystal with keywords, making it easy to find exactly what you want. They’re also well stocked on touchstones, bowls, crystal grids, phone cases and anything else you could hope to encounter while browsing!
Etsy is a great place to shop around and find stores that sell crystals, and Sun Moon & Earth is one of the best. In addition to offering whole natural crystals, Sun Moon & Earth also sells tumbled crystal chips, smoothed stones and pyramids and even large and rare stones. They’re the perfect online destination whether you’re a first time crystal buyer or looking for something truly unique for your collection.
Another Etsy shop, Shiny Happy Spirit House has an impressive collection of interesting and unique crystals to buy that come from all over the world. You could spend a long time getting lost in their inventory that ranges from affordable to rare.
In addition to full smudge kits and perfumes, Mandala Gems has a large collection of ethically sourced crystals and gems you can buy online that are sure to complete (or begin!) any collection.
Bliss Crystals is known for their larger pieces of eye-catching crystal, but they also have smaller crystals and healing bracelets made with stones like quartz and tiger’s eye. If you’re looking to buy a crystal that’s compatible with your star sign or welcomes a certain energy, their intricately labeled inventory will guide you to exactly where you need to be.
Julie Abouzelof, the owner of Moonrise Crystals, makes sure to give detailed information about the source of each crystal she sells because ethical sourcing and purity of energy are her priorities. Moonrise Crystals has a crystal index that divides stones by their healing abilities and offers a wide variety of beautifully polished crystals. It’s a great resource for anyone looking to learn more about crystals before they buy.
Buying crystals is always a deeply personal journey; the only one who can choose a crystal for you is you. These online resources make it easier than ever to find the exact crystal you’re looking for, sometimes before you know to look for it. Whether you’re an avid collector or just curious about crystals, these stores are sure to be a great help in your search.
Health conditions, age or even simple genetics might all contribute to your hair getting thinner over time. Between my autoimmune conditions, medications, and the wear and tear of regular stylings, my hair can often be brittle and thin. For so many of us, hair is an important part of our self expression and when our hair is thinning, it can make us feel less confident and less like ourselves.
Luckily, we have so many options to help our hair look and feel fuller, restoring our confidence every day. Treatments, products and even quality extensions can help to combat thinness and give you a fuller look. Here are a few options you have for changing up your look, making your routine more convenient, and getting the hair you truly want.
Many women experience thinning near the part in their hair; it’s a natural place for hair to fall out or get worn down but that doesn’t mean it’s fun! Coping with thinness on top doesn’t have to require a whole wig; a simple topper, designed to fill in the thinner parts on the top of your head, can blend seamlessly and make your hair look fuller and easier to style. By browsing online you can find hundreds of options to suit every color and every price point; if you dye your hair, many toppers can also be dyed to match. Depending on your budget, you can find toppers made from human hair or many high-quality synthetics that are just as soft and real looking.
Extensions are useful for filling in hair that’s thinner throughout, clipping them in to provide more body where you need it. When you get a pack of extensions, you can trim them to different lengths to blend in with your natural style. An easy tip that will save you time when you’re trying to find the right length extension for each section is carefully labelling each extension with a silver sharpie right near the clip. You can number them or name them by sections of your head (front left, back right etc), making it easy to get them all in just the way you need them.
Products for Thinning Hair
There are a lot of products on the market that can help to treat thinning hair, nourish it and encourage growth. Here are a few of my favorites.
When your hair is thinning a little trick in the industry is to get a root concealer spray that covers up grays— it can also help to cover up places where your hair is thinner or fill in your part. There are several brands; I use L’Oreal’s and Salon In A Bottle. Just find a color that matches your root color, or a little darker, and your hair will instantly look fuller!
When your hair is thinning on the top as mine is, incorporating a solution like this one into your daily hair care routine really can make a difference. Just a few drops of this helps to clear my scalp of a day’s worth of products and encourages hair to grow.
I’ve been using Terax Crema since way back when I was a fly girl and the stylists would use a lot of heavy irons that would damage and break my hair. One of the stylists on the show recommended Terax Crema and it worked so well that I’ve been using it ever since. The packaging and formula have changed a bit over the years but it’s still a great conditioning treatment for brittle or thinning hair.
Pureology’s Nanoworks Gold shampoo and conditioner have been a new addition to my hair care routine and these days I use it as much as the Terax. It’s a great treatment to help restore and strengthen tired or fragile hair.
I’ve tried so many conditioners and hair masks on my journey to trying to have healthier and fuller hair; when my boyfriend recommended this one, I didn’t have high hopes. However, I was quickly proven wrong and this has become one of my favorite products. I leave it on for an hour while I do my tasks around the house. It’s so affordable and it always leaves my hair feeling shiny, silky, and full of body.
If you style your hair a lot, it’s important to keep it protected from heat damage. A thermal protection spray like this one is great for people who have thinning hair because it protects the hair that you have when you use hot irons or curling irons. It’s amazing.
A Mason Pearson brush can be so helpful for anyone with thinning hair because it stimulates your scalp while you use it, waking up the follicles and promoting healthy growth!
Color Treatment
If your hair thinning isn’t too severe, a simple change in shade might be the perfect solution. Lighter hair looks fuller and thinness shows up more on dark hair, so if you’ve been looking for a bit of a change, try going for a lighter shade. Not only will you get the confidence of a fresh look but thinness might become less of a problem for you!
Dealing with thinning hair is never fun, but it can be so manageable with the right tools. There are so many different solutions depending on your style that can give you a full, healthy look that has you feeling confident every single day!
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