10 Products You Need for a Home Spa Night

You want to treat yourself, but you don’t want to leave the premises of your home. The spa sounds great, but it’s expensive and again, requires leaving the house. Enter the at home spa night! It’s a simple, effective way to put a little self-care into your schedule. Take some inspiration from your middle school sleepover days and check out our list of 10 things you might need for the perfect spa night.

SOFT LOUNGEWEAR

Courtesy of Amazon.

You can’t start a spa night without getting comfy first! This Eberjey set is luxuriously soft and breathable.

ESSENTIAL OIL SHOWER STEAMERS

Courtesy of Lush.

If you don’t have a bathtub or prefer showers, these essential oil steamers will give you the same aromatherapeutic experience you might be missing from bath bombs. Just plunk one on the tile and let the shower steam up with scents like lavender and eucalyptus. This one from Lush is fun because you can use it on your body as well!

EXPANDABLE BATHTUB TRAY

Courtesy of Amazon.

All bath lovers need one of these in cabinets! This particular tray has a space for a drink (ahem, your wine glass), a book or tablet, and even a candle. Soak in peace without worrying about dropping your book or phone into the water!

CALMING FACE MASK

Courtesy of Sephora.

Face masks can be such a treat, especially if you don’t regularly include them in your skincare routine. This one from Summer Fridays is hydrating and calming. It’s a great option if you have sensitive skin and are looking for something to restore your skin barrier and add much needed moisture.

EXFOLIATING FACE MASK

Courtesy of Naturium.

If you’re a skincare enthusiast and want a little more bang for your buck out of a face mask, try this one from Naturium. It’s an exfoliating facial in a bottle, disguised as face wash. Cleanse your skin, then use this mask like you would a normal wash. After rinsing, go in with your second cleanse.

NONTOXIC NAIL POLISH

Courtesy of Olive & June.

A spa night is not complete without a mani-pedi. Olive & June has beautiful polish options that will make you feel swanky and good about what you’re putting on your nails. Their formulas are all non-toxic.

PARAFFIN WAX BOOTIES

Courtesy of Amazon.

Take the nail salon home and give these paraffin booties a whirl. They’re easy to use and will make your feet oh so soft.

MOISTURIZING HAIR MASK

Courtesy of Amazon.

This hair mask by Briogeo has thousands of rave reviews and works on many hair types. Take those extra few minutes in the shower and feel your hair become softer by the second.

DRY BRUSH FOR YOUR BODY

Courtesy of Ulta.

Dry brushing is one of those wellness trends that can seem like an unnecessary extra step in your beauty routine. But a spa night is all about excess. So give dry brushing a shot – it’s supposed to help with lymphatic drainage and exfoliation. You might love it!

LAVENDER CANDLE

Courtesy of Sephora.

 It wouldn’t be a CAC wellness article without a candle suggestion. Carrie Ann loves Voluspa candles and this lavender scent is the perfect addition to your night at home.


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Everything You Need to Know About Manifestation

WHAT IS MANIFESTATION?

Manifestation is the process of writing down, visualizing, and putting your goals into action. It seems like every few years manifestation has a resurgence in popularity, with new gurus touting its benefits and promising their methods will make your dreams come true overnight. Even TikTok has caught on – the 3-6-9 manifestation method hashtag has been viewed 89.3 billion times as of July 2022.

So, is manifestation a practice really worth trying, or too good to be true? While not backed by science, it seems there is no big harm in giving it a whirl, and it can actually help you put your goals into action. That is, if you do it the right way. Some of the most successful people in the world swear by manifestation (Oprah Winfrey, Deepak Chopra, Lady Gaga, and more!), but they didn’t just write down a wish and win the lottery the next day.

HOW TO START

Before you run out to buy a manifestation journal, it’s important to get an understanding of what the process is. There are so many different ways to go about it, but there are a few rules that connect all of the methods out there:

  • Ask for exactly what you want, and be specific. Nebulous goals aren’t helpful!  
  • Write it down or create a vision board. Simple visualization during meditation works as well.
  • Take small steps to achieve what you want. If your ultimate goal is to write a novel, start by reading a book on creative writing. Or make a commitment to write creatively at least once a week. Slow and steady wins the race!
  • Know that manifestation isn’t for everyone. What works for one person may not work for you!
  • Don’t fall for quick fixes. Despite popular belief, manifestation is not something that doesn’t involve action. You can’t magically get what you want overnight. As Jim Carrey once said, “you can’t just visualize and then go eat a sandwich”.

In order to start manifesting the life you want, there a few guidelines to stick to. Oprah is one of it’s most well-known cheerleaders, but is also clear that it takes a certain amount of fortitude and willingness to move towards a goal. Here are a few of her many tips on how to use manifestation to your fullest advantage.

You can’t be scared

In a press interview in 2017, Oprah explained that “in order to draw the thing to you that you want to come, you can’t want it so much that you fear that you won’t get it. You have to do it, and then prepare yourself to be there and ready when it shows up”.

Don’t hang on to it too tightly

Another great piece of advice from the queen of manifestation is to let go of what you want to a certain degree after you’ve written them down or visualized them. Oprah said in the same 2017 interview that getting what you dream of is about “letting it go but moving in the direction of it”. Taking small steps toward your goal without obsessing over it is key.

Manifesting is about putting your truest self out into the world

In one of her Super Soul Conversations, Oprah explained that she views manifestation as a way to live your fullest, truest life. According to her, “unless you are finding a way for what you believe to be true about yourself to express and manifest itself into the world, you are not living your fullest life”. If you view manifestation as the act of you trying to live to your fullest potential, it becomes an easier concept to grasp.

ADVICE FROM CARRIE ANN TO GET YOU STARTED

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” – Gautama Buddha

What we think, we become…. Our lives are our own creation. I know that’s hard to believe when life is giving you lemons. But, it’s true. Our mind, our perception, and our thoughts shape what we experience. So, if we realized that we are always manifesting with every thought, we can focus on the things we want to experience and let go of the things that do not serve us. But we can’t trick ourselves. We have to believe it.

And one little reminder: we are given the power to manifest anything we want.  So be careful. Sometimes we can manifest things before we are ready for them.  Wanting money without knowing how to save, invest, or take care of that money doesn’t get you where you want to go.  Wanting good health without being ready to make the changes you need to live a life that nourishes your mind, body, and soul won’t work either. Manifesting isn’t just wanting. It’s about aligning with your true destiny and self. When that alignment happens, things will just flow.  It’s simple, but in our complicated worlds, finding the simplicity can be a challenge.  Calm the mind, listen to your soul, and then manifest.


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Staycation to the Fullest – LA Edition

Summer is officially here and with that comes the hope of a sun soaked vacation. However, sometimes those dreams can get dashed when life, work, or our wallets get in the way. This is when the art of the staycation comes in handy. If done properly, a staycation can recharge your batteries just as easily as a resort can. No airports required. Check out these tips to make the most out of your summer staycation!

Become a tourist in your own city

This is the obvious first step to taking your staycation to the next level, as well as the most important. Odds are you have done fun activities in your city, but you’ve never really looked at it through the lens of a tourist. No matter where you live, the luster of your city can fade and you can forget what it has to offer. This is the time to reinvigorate your love of your hometown!

Look for:

  • Museums
  • Botanical gardens
  • Events or sports
  • Drive-in or rooftop theaters
  • Theme parks
  • Parks
  • Nature hikes
  • Spas
The Huntington Gardens in Pasadena.

Los Angeles Ideas:

  • LACMA
  • Huntington Gardens
  • Malibu & Santa Monica beaches
  • The Getty
  • The Getty Malibu
  • The Academy Museum
  • La Brea Tar Pits
  • Griffith Park
  • Studio Tours – Warner Bros., Paramount, Universal
  • Descanso Gardens
  • Venice Canals
  • Hollywood Forever Cemetery Cinespia screenings
  • The Greystone Mansion

*Pro tip: If you’re craving a day at a pool with an ice-cold Piña Colada, some hotels offer day passes! You’ll get the full resort experience without the cost of paying for a room. Check out resortpass.com for participating hotels in your area!

Go out for a fancy lunch or dinner

You’ve saved money on flights, gas, hotels, etc., so don’t be afraid to splurge on a nice dinner. Invite friends, take your family, or dine solo! One great way to take this activity up a notch is to find a restaurant out of your normal radius – if you live in the suburbs, head downtown. Or if you really want to feel fancy, find a hotel restaurant! You’ve probably never been to or heard of some of the nice hotel restaurants in your town. Do some research and see what’s out there!

Los Angeles:

  • Cara Restaurant at The Cara Hotel
  • Ardor at the West Hollywood Edition
  • FIG at the Fairmont Miramar
  • Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel
  • Bar Lis at Thompson Hollywood
  • Openaire at the Line Hotel
  • Culina Ristorante at the Four Seasons
  • Coast at Shutters on the Beach
  • Broken Shaker at Freehand Los Angeles
  • Calabra Rooftop at the Santa Monica Proper Hotel

*Pro tip: Dress it up! If there’s an outfit or sparkly dress in your closet that you never wear, this is your moment!

Make your home feel like a hotel

Who said you need to leave your home for the resort experience? Prep for you staycation by making little changes that will make your space feel brand new. Here’s a list of suggestions to get you started:

  • Pack your fridge and pantry ahead of time with your favorite summer foods. If you love to cook, make a meal plan with your favorite dishes. If cocktails are your thing, make sure you have all the ingredients whip up your favorite drink. Stock up on fun snacks that you wouldn’t normally buy and give yourself the permission to eat whatever the heck you want!
  • Make a movie night basket. If hitting the movies doesn’t interest you or is out of your budget (some movie tickets in LA are up to $25), give yourself the full theater experience at home! Gather popcorn, snacks, your favorite candy, etc. and have the basket waiting by the TV for when the mood strikes!
  • Create a spa day. This could be as simple as having a new face mask waiting for you at the end of each day! Or using shower steamers that fill up your bathroom with spa-like scents every morning. There are endless possibilities!
  • Make sure you have fresh sheets and a nice pillow spray. There’s nothing better than snuggling into clean sheets, and it you want to add another level of luxury use a pillow spray!
  • Be a little bougie and leave yourself and your partner pillow mints.

What do you think? Will you be staycationing this summer? Let us know what your favorite staycation activities are!


Follow us on social media for more lifestyle and wellness tips:

Instagram: @carrieannconversations

Facebook: Carrie Ann Conversations

YouTube: Carrie Ann Inaba

Staycation to the Fullest – Austin Edition

Summer is officially here and with that comes the hope of a sun soaked vacation. However, sometimes those dreams can get dashed when life, work, or our wallets get in the way. This is when the art of the staycation comes in handy. If done properly, a staycation can recharge your batteries just as easily as a resort can. No airports required. Check out these tips to make the most out of your summer staycation!

Become a tourist in your own city

This is the obvious first step to taking your staycation to the next level, as well as the most important. Odds are you have done fun activities in your city, but you’ve never really looked at it through the lens of a tourist. No matter where you live, the luster of your city can fade and you can forget what it has to offer. This is the time to reinvigorate your love of your hometown!

Look for:

  • Museums
  • Botanical gardens
  • Events or sports
  • Drive-in or rooftop theaters
  • Theme parks
  • Parks
  • Nature hikes
  • Spas
Barton Springs Pool.

Austin Ideas:

  • View the bats at sunset on the South Congress bridge
  • Texas State Capitol
  • Barton Springs Pool
  • Kayaking on Lady Bird Lake
  • Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center
  • McKinney Falls State Park
  • Mt. Bonnell
  • The Domain
  • Blues on the Green at Zilker Park
  • LBJ Presidential Library
  • The Driskill Hotel ghost tour
  • Mural hunting
  • Circuit of the Americas go-karts

*Pro tip: If you’re craving a day at a pool with an ice-cold Piña Colada, some hotels offer day passes! You’ll get the full resort experience without the cost of paying for a room. Check out resortpass.com for participating hotels in your area!

Go out for a fancy lunch or dinner

You’ve saved money on flights, gas, hotels, etc., so don’t be afraid to splurge on a nice dinner. Invite friends, take your family, or dine solo! One great way to take this activity up a notch is to find a restaurant out of your normal radius – if you live in the suburbs, head downtown. Or if you really want to feel fancy, find a hotel restaurant! You’ve probably never been to or heard of some of the nice hotel restaurants in your town. Do some research and see what’s out there!

Austin:

  • Lutie’s at Commodore Perry Estate
  • Central Standard at the South Congress Hotel
  • Garrison at Fairmont Austin
  • Second Bar + Kitchen at the Archer Hotel
  • Café No Se at the South Congress Hotel
  • Caroline Restaurant + Upstairs at Caroline Bar at Aloft Downtown
  • Trace at W Austin

*Pro tip: Dress it up! If there’s an outfit or sparkly dress in your closet that you never wear, this is your moment!

Make your home feel like a hotel

Who said you need to leave your home for the resort experience? Prep for you staycation by making little changes that will make your space feel brand new. Here’s a list of suggestions to get you started:

  • Pack your fridge and pantry ahead of time with your favorite summer foods. If you love to cook, make a meal plan with your favorite dishes. If cocktails are your thing, make sure you have all the ingredients whip up your favorite drink. Stock up on fun snacks that you wouldn’t normally buy and give yourself the permission to eat whatever the heck you want!
  • Make a movie night basket. If hitting the movies doesn’t interest you or is out of your budget (some movie tickets in LA are up to $25), give yourself the full theater experience at home! Gather popcorn, snacks, your favorite candy, etc. and have the basket waiting by the TV for when the mood strikes!
  • Create a spa day. This could be as simple as having a new face mask waiting for you at the end of each day! Or using shower steamers that fill up your bathroom with spa-like scents every morning. There are endless possibilities!
  • Make sure you have fresh sheets and a nice pillow spray. There’s nothing better than snuggling into clean sheets, and it you want to add another level of luxury use a pillow spray!
  • Be a little bougie and leave yourself and your partner pillow mints.

What do you think? Will you be staycationing this summer? Let us know what your favorite staycation activities are!


Follow us on social media for more lifestyle and wellness tips:

Instagram: @carrieannconversations

Facebook: Carrie Ann Conversations

YouTube: Carrie Ann Inaba

Staycation to the Fullest – Chicago Edition

Summer is officially here and with that comes the hope of a sun soaked vacation. However, sometimes those dreams can get dashed when life, work, or our wallets get in the way. This is when the art of the staycation comes in handy. If done properly, a staycation can recharge your batteries just as easily as a resort can. No airports required. Check out these tips to make the most out of your summer staycation!

Become a tourist in your own city

This is the obvious first step to taking your staycation to the next level, as well as the most important. Odds are you have done fun activities in your city, but you’ve never really looked at it through the lens of a tourist. No matter where you live, the luster of your city can fade and you can forget what it has to offer. This is the time to reinvigorate your love of your hometown!

Look for:

  • Museums
  • Botanical gardens
  • Events or sports
  • Drive-in or rooftop theaters
  • Theme parks
  • Parks
  • Nature hikes
  • Spas
Chicago’s Wrigley Field, home of the Cubs.

Chicago Ideas:

  • 360 Chicago Observation Deck
  • Millennium Park & The Bean
  • Wrigley Field
  • The Art Institute of Chicago
  • The Magnificent Mile
  • Buckingham Fountain
  • Navy Pier
  • Frank Lloyd Wright’s Robie House
  • Macy’s on State Street
  • Garrett’s Popcorn
  • Chicago River cruises
  • Museum of Science and Industry
  • Field Museum

*Pro tip: If you’re craving a day at a pool with an ice-cold Piña Colada, some hotels offer day passes! You’ll get the full resort experience without the cost of paying for a room. Check out resortpass.com for participating hotels in your area!

Go out for a fancy lunch or dinner

You’ve saved money on flights, gas, hotels, etc., so don’t be afraid to splurge on a nice dinner. Invite friends, take your family, or dine solo! One great way to take this activity up a notch is to find a restaurant out of your normal radius – if you live in the suburbs, head downtown. Or if you really want to feel fancy, find a hotel restaurant! You’ve probably never been to or heard of some of the nice hotel restaurants in your town. Do some research and see what’s out there!

Chicago:

  • Nico Osteria at the Thompson Hotel
  • Allium Restaurant & Bar at the Four Seasons
  • Boleo at the Kimpton Grey Hotel
  • Travelle at the Langham
  • Shanghai Terrace at the Peninsula Chicago
  • Café des Architectes at Sofitel
  • The Florentine at the JW Marriott
  • 676 Restaurant & Bar at the Omni

*Pro tip: Dress it up! If there’s an outfit or sparkly dress in your closet that you never wear, this is your moment!

Make your home feel like a hotel

Who said you need to leave your home for the resort experience? Prep for you staycation by making little changes that will make your space feel brand new. Here’s a list of suggestions to get you started:

  • Pack your fridge and pantry ahead of time with your favorite summer foods. If you love to cook, make a meal plan with your favorite dishes. If cocktails are your thing, make sure you have all the ingredients whip up your favorite drink. Stock up on fun snacks that you wouldn’t normally buy and give yourself the permission to eat whatever the heck you want!
  • Make a movie night basket. If hitting the movies doesn’t interest you or is out of your budget (some movie tickets in LA are up to $25), give yourself the full theater experience at home! Gather popcorn, snacks, your favorite candy, etc. and have the basket waiting by the TV for when the mood strikes!
  • Create a spa day. This could be as simple as having a new face mask waiting for you at the end of each day! Or using shower steamers that fill up your bathroom with spa-like scents every morning. There are endless possibilities!
  • Make sure you have fresh sheets and a nice pillow spray. There’s nothing better than snuggling into clean sheets, and it you want to add another level of luxury use a pillow spray!
  • Be a little bougie and leave yourself and your partner pillow mints.

What do you think? Will you be staycationing this summer? Let us know what your favorite staycation activities are!


Follow us on social media for more lifestyle and wellness tips:

Instagram: @carrieannconversations

Facebook: Carrie Ann Conversations

YouTube: Carrie Ann Inaba

7 Podcasts to Help You Reach Your Full Potential

7 Podcasts to Help You Reach Your Full Potential | CARRIE ANN CONVERSATIONS

With series on every topic you could possibly think of, it seems like we’ve entered into the golden age of podcasts. It’s never been more easy to find entertainment, as well as free access to experts and professionals that we otherwise wouldn’t have. There are countless podcasts in the areas of self growth and development, but a few stand out for their unique approach to tackling life’s uphill battles. If you’re in the market for a podcast that will help you reach your full potential – mind, body, and soul – check out these 7 wonderful series led by some of the brightest minds we have.

Huberman Lab with Dr. Andrew Huberman

Dr. Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford University. In his podcast, Dr. Huberman “discusses neuroscience: how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body control our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health” (hubermanlab.com). Don’t mistake Huberman Lab for a dry university lecture though. The podcast breaks down the science in terms of our everyday life, often with the help of incredibly smart guests.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Dr. Laurie Santos is a professor of psychology at Yale University, whose course on the psychology of happiness became so popular she turned the concept into a podcast. Prepare to unlearn everything you thought you knew about what makes us humans happy while listening. Dr. Santos’s use of research and storytelling is what makes this podcast so compelling and digestible. It’s for anyone and everyone looking to understand happiness and apply that knowledge to their own lives.

A Slight Change of Plans with Maya Shankar

Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist and former Senior Advisor to President Obama. During her time in the Obama administration she also founded the White House Behavioral Science Team. In “A Slight Change of Plans”, Shankar uses her expert knowledge to explore how we behave and adapt while facing change. According to the show’s description, she “blends compassionate storytelling with the science of human behavior to help us understand who we are, and who we become, in the face of a big change” .

Work Life with Adam Grant

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist, author, and professor at the University of Pennsylvania. In “Work Life”, Grant discusses “the science of making work not suck” (adamgrant.net). Making work not suck seems to be an eternal and universal struggle, which is what makes the podcast an essential listen. Everyone can get something out of “Work Life”, even if it’s a momentary reprieve from the “Sunday scaries”.

Throughline

NPR’s Throughline, hosted by Ramtin Arablouei and Rund Abdelfatah, takes a historical approach in analyzing current events. It weaves the past and present, using compelling storytelling to connect the dots between events and cultural shifts that affect the issues we face today. Don’t mistake throughline for your average history podcast! The insights gleaned in each episode probably can’t be found in your old American History textbook.

How to Start Over

In the Atlantic’s “How to Start Over”, “staff writer Olga Khazan analyzes what it takes to change our relationships, our work, and our perspective—with a practical approach to one of life’s greatest mysteries: how to start over” (theatlantic.com). If you’ve been going through major changes recently, or want to make a change, How to Start Over is a great resource. It’s both compelling and practical – the perfect combo for a self help podcast.

The Pivot

Hosted by former NFL players Channing Crowder, Fred Taylor, and Ryan Clark, The Pivot Podcast is all about making changes and moving forward. While centered on interviews with professionals in the sports world, The Pivot is universal in that it focuses on how people accepted change and pivoted their way towards success.

What do you think? Have you found your next binge-worthy podcast? Let us know in the comments and on social media. We would love to hear from you!

Instagram: @carrieannconversations

Facebook: Carrie Ann Conversations

YouTube: Carrie Ann Inaba

The Winding Path to Wellness – A Conversation with Author and Health Coach Jim Curtis

The Winding Path to Wellness - A Conversation with Best-Selling Author and Health Coach Jim Curtis | CARRIE ANN CONVERSATIONS

Jim Curtis is an author, speaker, health coach, and Head of Business at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. He is a graduate of the Whittemore School of Business at the University of New Hampshire. He has been a wellness pioneer for the last 20 years, helping to develop WebMD, Everyday Health, and Remedy as well as publishing The Stimulati Experience : Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness (Random House).

This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s February 17th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jim Curtis. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Wellness burnout. It’s a thing. When you’re flooded with opinions and options, looking for answers can actually leave you with more questions. The sheer amount of “cures” and information out there can be exhausting to sort through, especially when doctors can’t provide a clear diagnosis. Someone who probably knows this feeling better than most is our latest guest, author and health coach Jim Curtis. His story is fascinating and a testament to his resilience in fighting his invisible illness. Not to mention the persistence needed to advocate for yourself and your health. He’s tried it all, and turned that knowledge into a career in coaching and growing businesses in the health sector. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did!


Carrie Ann: My guest today is a really cool guy, and he’s been through a lot. I found him on social media when I came across his TED talk, and at that time I was going through a very, very difficult period. For all my autoimmune sisters and brothers out there, I was going through a really bad flare up. It was around the time that I had taken leave from “The Talk”. And his TED talk really inspired me. It’s called “The Cosmic Algorithm: Deciphering the Signs”. When I watched it, I was deeply moved, and I felt connected to him through his story.

He is a speaker, author, and is the Head Coach and Head of Business at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. His philosophy is really fascinating and it focuses on all facets of life – mental, emotional, spiritual, relationships, and career. I thought you all would love this conversation.

Thank you so much for being here today Jim, I’m very grateful to you for taking the time.

Jim Curtis: I’m so happy to be here, I’ve been watching your conversations. I saw the last one with Fran Drescher and I couldn’t wait to get on this conversation!

Carrie Ann: Thank you! Yeah, we talked about detoxing the home. So I have a nontoxic candle in the background. And I know you know all about detoxing because of your background. But I want to start with how I was introduced to you – I found you on Instagram, and came across your TED talk. I have lupus, fibromyalgia, and Sjogren’s syndrome, and I was in a really terrible flare up. I listened to your TED talk, and you talked about how you had gone through something similar. Would you mind kind starting there and telling people about your story, and how you came into this world of healing?

Jim Curtis: I love connecting with people that are going through chronic illness because I can understand it. There was a time when I was having all these symptoms, including paralysis in my legs, and I could not figure out what it was. I had a lesion on my spinal cord and it was inflamed, but we couldn’t figure out what it was and the treatments weren’t working. It was going on at a point in time where there were no communities to connect with. I was 20 years old – there wasn’t and Instagram or even YouTube where you could find a TED talk. So you felt alone, you felt really alone. You were in what I call survival mode, because you don’t know what’s happening to you. The fear of trying to figure it out just puts you in this survival mode where you shut down some of your emotions, otherwise you’d become so overwhelmed with it. But you still get hit with bouts of fear and a little bit of panic. That went on for me for 15 years, and then finally I was able to get out of it a little bit. I still walk with a little bit of a limp today, I still have some issues, but I’m no longer living in illness.

Carrie Ann: First of all, I’m glad to hear that you’re no longer living in “dis-ease” or illness. But it sounds like it was such an uphill battle for you, and probably took you having to become a seeker of knowledge, wellness, and answers. What was that path like for you?

Jim Curtis: I think you’re probably familiar with this too, you can always keep seeking right?

Carrie Ann: Yes! I’m a seeker.

Jim Curtis: I’m a seeker too. But at the time, I wasn’t a seeker and I just had a type A father and sister, who kept asking “did you go here? Did you go there? You have to go here”. I think I went to hospitals all around the country. Then I started to go to Europe, because I had a good family unit who wouldn’t let me not find out what it was. I think that once you start talking about your illness, especially today, everybody has a guy. Like, “I got a guy for you, you’ve got to see my guy, he cured this”. Everything from energy healing to Western medicine. Everybody always has a recommendation. You can choose to see those people or not. I was luckily in a position where I could say, okay, I’m just gonna say yes to everybody’s guy. I ended up seeing over 200 people, everybody from an Ecuadorian shaman to grandmasters of kung fu, to watsu (a combination of hydrotherapy in warm water and Shiatsu massage) and qigong healers (an ancient Chinese healing method that includes meditation, controlled breathing and movement exercises). I went all over the country and the world, from the Mayo Clinic to the East Village. I just kept searching. I think I found a lot of answers that kind of led me to where I am today.

Carrie Ann: You said you saw over 200 healers and professionals, and I relate to that so much. Right now I’m in the process of Lyme disease treatment. I just had oxygen IV ozone therapy, and it didn’t go so well. I’m kind of in a state of a conundrum right now. Sometimes, there’s so many healers and it can be confusing. From your point of view – because I’m going through it myself right now – what can I do to avoid that kind of confusion? I feel like I should just trust my intuition, but sometimes I get scared to do that.

Jim Curtis: I call it wellness FOMO (fear of missing out). Like, could there be a cure that I’m not willing to try? I’m gonna try it because I don’t want to miss out on that cure! I was doing it because I could, and because I was researching. I wanted to write a book. But at one point, I just said, no, I’m not seeing any more people. You could literally go down this rabbit hole forever, and sometimes you have to just stick with one thing. Even though it’s so enticing when someone says, “I have this new therapy, have you heard about it?”. And you want to just quickly go try it and spend more money and time investigating it. Sometimes you just have to say no, and reduce the amount of information coming into your head so you can focus on a few things that are working for you. That’s what I did.

Carrie Ann: I like that. Keep it small, just reduce, because it can be overwhelming. There are so many options right now. That’s one thing about social media, you have access to everything. I heard you say something about how you’ve got to do research when you’re working with people. Have you ever had a weird experience with a healer?

Jim Curtis: Yes. I believe that wellness is incredibly seductive. In the sense that you can be seduced into bliss. If someone offers you bliss, you want it. When you’re feeling sick, and someone’s like, “I have a solution”, you say, “yes, please can I have a solution”. But not everyone in wellness has good intentions. There’s a real practical side of this, and I learned this a number of times. So of the hundreds of people that I’ve seen, some were true masters and had energy, and some were people that positioned themselves that way to make money. The story that I tell sometimes is during the time period that I was saying yes to everyone, someone said there was a shaman in town who was working magic. It was really hard to get him, so you had to do some weird things. I said alright, fine, I’ll go bring $200 in cash and a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. I was like, alright, I’ve done weirder stuff than that.

I find myself in the East Village of New York City in the most rundown building ever, walking with my broken body up six flights of stairs to the top apartment. I’m pulling on the railing, and it literally comes off my hand and I stumble down a couple steps. I finally make it all the way up. The shaman has a translator there who tells me to take off all of my clothes and lay down on this map, and it was pretty dirty in there. I was like, “take off all my clothes, did I understand that right?”. And she says yes. So I did it. I’m laying face down naked while this guy is blowing Marlboro cigarettes across my body and beating me with a burning sage tray. So I just started laughing uncontrollably about the situation I had just gotten myself into. I had to find the humor in it. Because it was so bizarre that I was going through such lengths just to find that person that could heal me, that I started laughing. And of course, they thought that was the cure, that was me dispelling the negative energy. And perhaps I was, even if it wasn’t the intention. That definitely gave me some levity. I left there wrapped in newspaper under my clothes, so I didn’t let out the good energy as he instructed. But yeah, I would never do it again.

Carrie Ann: You left there wrapped in newspaper?

Jim Curtis: Yeah, he had me wrap myself in newspaper and then put my clothes back on. I wasn’t to remove the newspaper or shower for two days. So I went to work like that, crinkling every time I walked, and it didn’t work. Needless to say I wasn’t cured, but it was definitely enlightening in that you have to be careful. You have to be prudent.

Carrie Ann: That might be the best story I’ve heard. And I have experienced some very odd things. So I think I you win. I do love the levity of it all. I mean, I think that laughter is good medicine. Sometimes you do need those, as you said in your TED Talk, perfect place, perfect time moments. It’s sort of like that was a perfect place, perfect time for you to remember, okay, wait, maybe I don’t need to go see every single healer. And maybe the newspaper thing isn’t quite what I’m looking for. Maybe I need to trust myself a little bit more.

Something that I liked about your book, “The Stimulati Experience: Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness”, was how it’s written in your voice, which is a masculine voice. This is a voice we don’t often hear in the world of autoimmune disease. There’s not a lot of people out there who speak openly about this. You talked about hating yourself, and that you got to the place where you were in gratitude for your chronic illness. Now, that’s quite a journey. First of all, thank you for saying you hated yourself, because I think you gave me permission to honor the feelings within myself and everybody else who read your book. That’s a big part of this process. It’s okay to feel those feelings, but I love that you give us tools to get to the other side. What was that process like for you?

Jim Curtis: First you have to recognize that oh, my god, I really dislike myself, I hate myself, I’m not being good to myself, right? Because a lot of us do. The way we look at ourselves in the mirror can really cultivate low self-esteem. It’s a question of how do you get beyond that? One is awareness, you have to recognize that that’s what I’m doing to myself. That’s how I feel about myself. Now, how can I feel better about it? A lot of it is having some grace with yourself, finding the things that you actually like about yourself, and interrupting the negative talk. Literally asking yourself, “would I say this to my best friend?”. Also, it’s about doing the things that you say that you’ll do to build self-esteem. Oftentimes, when we begin to really dislike ourselves or feel not good enough, or just completely inadequate, we don’t do the things we say we’ll do. So just taking those small steps will increase your self-esteem amazingly.

In fact, in the “Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden, he talks about this. He gets into how you raise your self-esteem, and oftentimes it’s by living in integrity and doing the things that you say you’ll do. And then having a little bit of grace with yourself in terms of what you think that you’re faltering on. Then if you want to get to the metaphysical, you can create a fire burning ceremony, you could change your energy, you can do all the fun stuff, but there are really practical things to it.

Carrie Ann: Those are the things that I like to keep in my back pocket, like honoring your word. You could also read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I think he talks about having integrity with your word. What I’m learning more and more in this world of wellness and health, is that we’re all saying the same thing, just in a slightly different way. This is what I find so fascinating about what you do, because you are Head Coach and Head of Business at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. You guys create health coaches. I think this is what the world needs, because people are understanding that health takes effort, attention, and awareness. I believe it’s a right, a god given natural born right to have wellness. But I think that we weren’t taught how much work it takes, and people are now starting to see that.

I want to go back real quickly, because I’m fascinated by this one aspect of your journey. As a man who went through what you did, was it harder for you to be more open about it, because men are expected to be strong? I know that’s a very traditional thought and outdated. Have you experienced that?

Jim Curtis: Yeah, I have. I think it’s opening up a little bit more, there’s almost a renaissance of men being able to be vulnerable and get out of this kind of protector / provider paradigm. But when I was sick, I would actually tell people that I walked with a limp because I was in a motorcycle accident. It was more macho, and I didn’t have to be vulnerable. No one would ask me questions about my illness. I didn’t have to talk about it. It was this way of like being a macho man, instead of saying, well, you know, this is what I’m really dealing with. This is how it’s affecting me emotionally. Luckily, I feel like those things are changing a little bit. You have a lot of people on Instagram that are opening up and becoming more vulnerable men. But yeah, as a man that’s expected to be the protector and provider, it was hard.

Carrie Ann: Well thank you for being a path opener for people, and opening doors for people to talk. You were way ahead of your time.


What do you guys think about Jim’s story? Leave us a comment below if something in particular resonated with you! There are so many nuggets of wisdom to take from this interview. Wellness burnout might be unavoidable in your own path to health, but people like Jim have been creating ways to avoid the pitfalls and unnecessary trips to shamans.

For more information on health coaches and classes at IIN, follow the links below!

The Institute for Integrative Nutrition Classes

The Stimulati Experience: Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness

His TED Talk

Do We Need Health Coaches Now More Than Ever? A Conversation with Jim Curtis, Head Health Coach at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition

Do We Need Health Coaches More Now Than Ever? A Conversation with Health Coach and Author Jim Curtis | CARRIE ANN CONVERSATIONS

Jim Curtis is an author, speaker, health coach, and Head of Business at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. He is a graduate of the Whittemore School of Business at the University of New Hampshire. He has been a wellness pioneer for the last 20 years, helping to develop WebMD, Everyday Health, and Remedy as well as publishing “The Stimulati Experience : Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness(Random House).

This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s February 17th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jim Curtis. It has been edited for length and clarity.

The path to becoming a healthier version of you can be confusing, and at times, scary. We are constantly inundated with the latest cure-all trends, fad diets, and practices that all claim to be the answer. The truth is, what works for some people may not work for you, and the popularity of the wellness space has inherently attracted people who are solely interested in your money. Without guidance, it can feel like navigating a minefield. Enter experienced professionals who have tried it all so you don’t have to, or health coaches. These are the people that schools like the Institute for Integrative Nutrition train, and the demand for them has only been growing. So, what exactly is a health coach? What is their role in your wellness journey? Jim Curtis, the Head Coach at IIN, was kind enough to give us an overview of his profession and why health coaching involves a lot more than just diet.


Carrie Ann: I think people are starting to discover how vulnerable we are as people after two years of living with this pandemic. I’m so excited to share what you do, because I think people are going to be much more in need of health coaches. Could you explain a little bit about the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and if you think there’s going to be a boom in the need for health coaching?

Jim Curtis: Oh, there already is. Health coaching is one of the fastest growing professions. Right now, the American Medical Association has health coaching under review for CPT codes, which is how you would get reimbursed by insurance. It should be reimbursed as a health insurance benefit within a year. When that happened with chiropractors, acupuncturists, and masseuses, those professions boomed as well. And that’s kind of what’s happening with coaching right now. It’s become very mainstream, and there’s thousands of new coaches because there’s millions of people that need it. And we have a tidal wave of wellness opportunities.

Coaches really serve as the guide that helps you with the plan and then the next steps. What do I buy in the grocery store? There’s 13 different gluten free options. Which one should I buy? Where do I go? Should I do red light therapy or cryo therapy? Should I do vegan or paleo or keto or vegetarian? A health coach is really there to guide you. We as a school have been training the best health coaches for the last 30 years. So the training is not just about food. There’s a lot of schools that have a functional nutrition training, but we train you about the mental, emotional, career, and relationship aspects of your mindset. And we pioneered that.

Carrie Ann: I’ve heard you speak about food as not just what you put in your mouth, but as all the different sorts of nutrition for living a life of wellness. It’s about relationships and community among other things, right?

Jim Curtis: Yeah, everything feeds us. Your relationships feed you, your career feeds you, everything feeds you. It starts with the primary foods, and then you can start to look at what foods are actually on your plate that you’re eating. We say food changes everything. If you’re in a relationship, and it’s feeding you in a healthy way, then that changes everything about you. Then when you get to food, it really does change everything. You know how you feel when you drink a cup of coffee versus a glass of wine. The food that you eat literally turns into your blood and your cells and it creates you. So there are two components – there’s the mental or emotional, and there is the physical – and we focus on both.

Carrie Ann: I think that’s really important, and I think this is what people are looking for right now. They’re looking for real answers, and the real answers are multi-dimensional. It’s not just one lane. It’s not just food, it’s your relationships. In your book, The Stimulati Experience, you talk about your own trauma and how you got out of it. For somebody who’s [reading] this right now that might be in a place of trauma or fear, what are some tips that you would share with them?

Jim Curtis: I would say recognize the story that you’re telling yourself. Meaning, oftentimes, we get caught in trauma loops of the story that we’re telling ourselves, and we think that we think that we’re caught in the movie, instead of watching the movie. And that we can’t change anything. The first thing is to change the way you’re thinking in terms of your awareness of it. When you feel yourself spiraling, try to pull yourself out of it.

You can do a number of things, like going for a walk, talking to a friend, or just moving. I used to take a shower, and I wouldn’t realize that the water had been beating on my back for 15 minutes because I had been just obsessing over something. Now I can kind of click myself out of that by moving, turning the water cold, or getting out of the shower. So let’s first identify and break the pattern. And the second thing is there are so many resources you can get form group or community. For example, The Institute for Integrative Nutrition is a community of people that study together, work together, and learn together. And you can do it all online, but you still have your groups, you have your phone calls, and other things. Get into a community because it takes a village, it really does. And when you’re in a great community, your relationships are everything. Those are two ways that I really love.

Carrie Ann: Yeah, relationships and community have been hard in the last couple of years. I feel like those opportunities are actually starting to open up again, and we’re being able to connect with people. Even if we can’t connect with people in person, as you said, you have a you have an online course coming up.

Jim Curtis: Yeah, we have a course opening up now. If anybody’s interested in that they should call or go to integrativenutrition.com. That’s the best way you can speak to a graduate, who is also an admissions coach. It’s a really amazing experience even if you don’t want to be a health coach, it’s so transformative for yourself. Most people do it because they want to start coaching themselves, their family, or their friends. And then they realize, wow, I could really be of service with this, and they become health coaches. But oftentimes, it starts with just wanting to change their lives.

Carrie Ann: And there’s also a course in April, right?

Jim Curtis: There’s another course that starts April 25, if you don’t want to do March. We have nine starts a year, and those are the next two.

Carrie Ann: What I think is so wonderful about your school and what it’s doing, is that even if you don’t want to become a health coach, you learn how to do something that makes you a better person. So that you can show up better in this world, and in your own life feel better about yourself. And then, as we’ve talked about, like it’s a ripple effect, right? Once you’re feeling good, your vibes spread, and then you feel good because you helped other people feel good. I truly believe that we’re all energy, and that we’re all ultimately saying the same thing – that we are all connected. And when we do things that help ourselves or help other people, we’re helping everything. I love this contribution that you guys are putting into the world. Thank you so much Jim.

You guys, he has so much information, you have no idea. I just want to read a little passage from his book, “The Stimulati Experience: Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness” . On page 113, he says “I realized that everybody has a story and people are in different parts of their story. No matter where they were. Their story became a great catalyst for me to get to the place of thinking if they can do it, so can I”. He goes on to say, “being with other people and being infused with the inspiration of personal stories, I felt more hopeful and ready to overcome the obstacles in my life”.

This is something that is so inspiring, and it is the reason why I’m doing Carrie Ann Conversations as well.


What is your opinion on health coaching? Would you be willing to try it? Let us know in the comments below! There are so many ways out there to get the help that you need, and the first step is always to ask for it. One of the greatest qualities of the internet is the community and support you can find. As Jim said, it takes a village. There’s no reason to suffer alone or in silence. We hope this conversation gave you something new to consider in your own journey to wellness!

For more information and resources from Jim Curtis, follow the links below:

The Institute for Integrative Nutrition Classes

The Stimulati Experience: Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness

His TED Talk

The Link Between Trauma & Toxic Relationships – A Conversation with Life Coach Lisa A. Romano

The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Toxic Relationships - A Conversations with Life Coach Lisa A. Romano | CARRIE ANN CONVERSATIONS

Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in codependency and narcissistic abuse. Through her personal struggles, she has found a way out of the confusion a codependent mind can be. She is a best-selling author, YouTuber, and was voted the number one most influential person of 2020 by Digital Journal.

This article is an excerpt from my Jan.27th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Lisa A. Romano. It has been edited for length and clarity. To watch the full video, click here.

The beginning of quarantine seemed to put a magnifying glass on everything that was working – or not working – in our lives. While some welcomed the uninterrupted time with our families, many felt the immense strain the pandemic put on their relationships. This was especially true, and in some cases still is, for people in the midst of unhealthy, abusive, or toxic relationships. During Carrie Ann’s conversation with life coach Lisa A. Romano, they talked about how to handle these types of situations, the childhood traumas that may have led to them, and her own experience as a codependent in a relationship. The talk was so informative and it’s clear that anyone can benefit from the self-reflection and self-love she preaches.


Carrie Ann: For those people who aren’t familiar but are so curious about this topic, could you tell them what a breakthrough life coach is? And what type of people seek out your assistance?

Lisa A. Romano: Well, I’m a life coach. And actually, it was one of my clients who came up with the term breakthrough life coach, because she said, “Lisa, I didn’t know that my childhood programming, my subconscious mind was affecting the way that I think. And every time I speak to you, I have a breakthrough, and another breakthrough, and it’s a breakthrough. And it’s like an elevation in my consciousness, and I feel lighter”. That’s how I adopted Breakthrough Life Coach.

As far as the types of people that seek me out, generally, these are people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired. They’ve tried traditional therapy, lots of them. They’ve been in therapy 10, 15, 20 years, and they just can’t make the connection between the subconscious and the conscious. They resonate with my work. There are people who come from traumatic backgrounds, oftentimes narcissistic parents, or they’re in a narcissistic relationship.

Unfortunately in traditional therapy, the therapist doesn’t always understand narcissistic abuse. Codependency is not in the DSM. So even though you could be running your life like a codependent and you could be attracting narcissist after narcissist, it’s not in the DSM. So when someone like me comes on and does a bunch of YouTube videos, Instagram and Facebook lives, and writes books, all of a sudden the information begins to resonate. It’s all encompassing. My work encompasses the way you were brought up in childhood, how this affected you, and why you feel the way you feel. This is why you think the way you think. And this is why you attract what you attract. Now let’s see if we can break through.

Carrie Ann: You know, as I’ve listened to you over the years, one of the things that I love the most about you is how you helped me to have language for what I was going through. I didn’t understand what a narcissist was, what a codependent was, and I didn’t know that my conscience was at play. Learning all of these words helped me shape them into smaller, more digestible compartments. You give so much information, and I love that you just keep giving it in slightly different angles. I think the way you’re so consistent in your messaging and what you’re trying to help people with is probably the reason why you were voted most influential person of 2020 by Digital Journal. And that was the year the pandemic started as well. What did you notice when the pandemic started as far as what people were reaching out for help with?

Lisa A. Romano: It just broke my heart. Because what happened was people were stuck home with alcoholics. They couldn’t escape. So they were dealing with various levels of narcissism, various levels of verbal abuse, psychological abuse, and the children were being more abused because no one could escape. The mental health issue that this has created is astronomical. I don’t think we understand the scope of what’s happened during this pandemic with psychological abuse, physical abuse, domestic violence and child abuse.

So lots of people were reaching out to me, that’s why I did a bunch of YouTube live streams during that time, because it was just, I feel it, like okay, let’s get some life skills here. Like don’t poke the bear if you’re stuck in quarantine with a narcissist. Don’t poke the bear. Right, like tread lightly because you can’t escape. They’re like caged lions, and they regulate through dominating, dominating the children and the people in the home. You don’t want to, not now, not when you’re in a pandemic. So those are the types of emails that I got from people. I’m stuck, now, what do I do?

Carrie Ann: So, the advice for people who are stuck and can’t create the distance that would be more healthy for them, don’t poke the bear. Are there any other bits of advice that you would give them besides don’t poke the bear?

Lisa A. Romano: I would say don’t poke the bear, and you have to understand your dynamic and be very logical during this situation. If you’re highly emotional, that’s not going to work. So meditate, calm yourself, regulate yourself, ground yourself to everything you can to take care of yourself. Don’t tell the narcissist that you’re taking care of yourself, because that’s a threat. This happens between your head and your heart, and with yourself. You don’t share this with anybody. Be very careful about what information you share with a narcissist if you’re quarantined with a narcissist. Get a support system but don’t tell them, because everything’s a threat. I think you have to tread very lightly when you’re stuck in a relationship. Also, I think it’s very important not to lie because a narcissist is, believe it or not, very tuned to you. They sense when you’re lying. So it’s probably better not to lie than it is to lie. Because if they sense that you’re lying, that will make them feel out of control. I think you have to be very, very careful in these situations.

Carrie Ann: Oh, that’s really fantastic advice for people. I can imagine that if you’re trapped at home with a narcissist, or someone who has narcissistic tendencies on the spectrum of narcissism, that it’s very scary. So this is for all of those who are in that situation. Please go to lisaaromano.com for more information because she’s got a wealth of it. It’s a difficult time and it can help you understand your situation and deal with it.

You said you identify as a former codependent, and you described it as a loss of selfhood. Could you explain that more?

Lisa A. Romano: You know, I love this work. Because if you do this work the right way, you will dive into your spiritual self, your psychological self, your vibrational self, your chemical self, you’ll touch on everything. So for children, in order for me to know that I have a self psychologically, oh, who is Lisa, I needed my parents to mirror back this sense that Lisa had a self. But it gets a little fuzzy because a child identifies self with how they feel. So what happens if I get taught that what I feel is irrelevant? What happens if my parents are self-absorbed and not attuned to me? The feelings that I have never get validated. Therefore I can’t attach to the self. My feelings that I’m experiencing on the inside are connected to myself. I know that I have a self through the way that I feel. But if I’m violated, if I’m told that your feelings are ridiculous – you’re a drama queen just looking for attention – then I’m thinking now I need to detach from my feelings. Because mommy and daddy say they’re bad. I have no self. Who are you outside of how you feel, and how you experience the world? If the information you receive from the outside is “it’s inappropriate. Don’t trust what you think. You’re wrong, you shouldn’t feel that way. You have no right to feel that way”, you disowned the self. So you’re a shell of a person.

When you go out in the world, this abandonment wound is still there. It’s a longing, it’s an aching to feel warm, connected, and cared for. It doesn’t go away. Because it’s linked to survival. It’s part of my default mechanism. I must hit that milestone. Therefore I’m codependent. But because of everything that’s happened to me, I believe that my worth is conditional. That’s my programming. So the gaping wound is there. This aching is there. Then there’s programming. If I take care of people, maybe they won’t hurt me. Maybe they won’t leave me. And that becomes a program and a way of life. And I don’t even know I’m doing it.

Carrie Ann: My heart breaks when we talk about this. So many of us have gone through this. You know, my mom was just here for the holidays. We were so grateful to see her after so much time and passed. And we worked on healing ourselves. I said there was a pattern of this in our family, and she was saying all she really wants is warmth. And you just mentioned that. So I asked, “for you Mom, what exactly is warmth?”. Even as she described it, I felt it. It’s the feeling of being safe, and loved, and worthy. Which is what you’re talking about, the selfhood. And that your worth comes from being.

Lisa A. Romano: You know, most parents screw up. It’s not their fault. It’s tough. You’re paying a mortgage, you have marital problems, you have your own trauma, and you’re just trying to get through the day. And I think a lot of people think that children aren’t wise, yet they’re wiser than we are. They know how you feel. They know what they need. They know how they feel, and that needs to be honored, and parents need to attune themselves to the children. What happens far too often is the children are attuning themselves to the parents.

That’s where the vibrational reality comes in. You are a vibrational being, you are an energetic being. So if Mommy is stressed, little baby Mary’s stressed. She has to be stressed in order to feel one with her mother. And that’s just biological. Children have to attune themselves. If there’s trauma or unpredictability in a home, the child can’t relax in that. The child has to be on guard, he has to be hyper vigilant. They have to attune themselves to the parents, but it should be the other way. Parents should be calm. And if a child is in duress, the parents should soothe the child. If the parent doesn’t soothe the child, the child never learns how to self-regulate.

Carrie Ann: How do we get past the wanting to judge the quote unquote failure on their part? Maybe it isn’t failure, it’s just everyone doing their best. And thanks to you, our generation and generations after us will have so much more language around this and that is the beauty. How do we not judge though?

Lisa A. Romano: One of the things that I teach in my 12 week breakthrough coaching program is that the first four weeks are all about you. I need to know what happened to you; you need to know what happened to you. There’s going to be a part of you that wants to say “and it’s their fault”. And I say, “let’s just figure out the piece of the piece of the puzzle that is you. Let’s just figure out the piece. Let’s not judge, but let’s just honor whatever happened to you”. Right? I do think, however, we need to pin the tail on the donkey psychologically. In other words, I was a victim of my mother’s immaturity, she was 19 when she had me. Her personality wounded me; I was a victim. I was an innocent little child.

However, I know that by the time people finish my class, they know that that’s not the goal. In other words, they know that forgiveness, letting go, and surrendering to what is, so that you can move into a state of wisdom, is the goal. My higher self doesn’t judge my mother. God, whatever your God is, doesn’t judge. Just accepts and surrenders. This is a holographic universe. What happens in one generation happens in the next generation, until someone in that family line awakens and breaks through. That’s just the way it is.


Did Lisa unlock any insights about your own past? Let us know if something resonated with you in the comments. We’d love to hear from you! She has so much knowledge, and you can get a glimpse of what her coaching is like on Insight Timer and YouTube. You don’t have to go far to find answers these days!

For more resources and information on Lisa, click the links below:

Her website

Her 12 week course

Her books  – “I suggest you read my books in the following order,: The Road Back To Me, My Road Beyond the Codependent Divorce, Codependent Now What? It’s Not You-It’s Your Programming, Quantum Tools To Help You Heal Your Life Now, and Loving The Self Affirmations 1 & 2.” – Lisa A. Romano

What Is a Narcissist / Codependent Relationship? Life Coach Lisa A. Romano Defines the Traits

What Is a Narcissist / Codependent Relationship? A Conversation with Life Coach Lisa A. Romano | CARRIE ANN CONVERSATIONS
 Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in codependency and narcissistic abuse. Through her personal struggles, she has found a way out of the confusion a codependent mind can be. She is a best-selling author, YouTuber, and was voted the number one most influential person of 2020 by Digital Journal. This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s Jan.27th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Lisa A. Romano. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.  The word narcissism gets flung out quite frequently these days, along with other psychological buzzwords like gaslighting and trauma. It’s wonderful that we now have the language to identify these traits and situations, and the ability to share that information through social media. However, it’s important to understand what true narcissism and narcissistic abuse looks like. What role do they play in relationships? How does codependency create the environment for a narcissist to thrive? Carrie Ann caught up with life coach Lisa A. Romano, who specializes in helping people heal from narcissistic abuse and codependency. She has personal experience with both, and gave insight into why these types of relationships form. We hope you learn something new from this conversation, and can take something positive away for your own healing journey – whatever that may be.
Carrie Ann: Let’s talk about relationships. In my past I have been in some very unhealthy relationships and attracted narcissists. It’s also brought out my own narcissistic tendencies. But, I think I relate more with being a codependent empath and having an anxious attachment style. Why does this happen? How does this narcissist codependent attraction happen? Why is it so prevalent in our society? Lisa A. Romano: Empaths and codependents are different. An empath is like a sponge. An empath will pick up on the wounds of a narcissist, and immediately want to fix and heal them. Empaths are highly forgiving – they know that people are flawed – so they give people a pass. A narcissist says “Carrie Ann, I heard you. I’m so sorry. I’m going to work on that”. That fills you with joy. It makes the empath in you feel like a true healer, like you really can help this person. An empath can understand and even empathize with why the narcissist is abusive. Such as, “well, he abuses me because his father was an alcoholic”. They have this level of empathy for someone who’s narcissistic, and that’s exactly what a narcissist needs. A narcissist needs someone with high compassion. A narcissist requires it. A narcissist needs someone who says “that’s okay babe, I understand you made some mistake. As long as you’re working on yourself, that’s great, we can move towards this”. A codependent is someone who needs to be needed. They are someone who does not have a sense of self, so they get one by catering to someone who is self-focused. A narcissist does not know how to navigate the world without direction. A narcissist oftentimes appears to be someone who has a lot of a lot of wounds and a codependent says, “I can fix that”. And they get a sense of self from fixing the narcissist. So, they’re not the same thing. However, an empath can have codependent traits and a codependent can be highly empathic. Carrie Ann: That’s the part that trips everybody up, I think. That nothing’s quite black and white, right? Lisa A. Romano: No. Carrie Ann: You mentioned that empaths can sense the trauma in a narcissist. My theory is that empaths and narcissists come from the same sort of trauma, a trauma so immense that they just couldn’t deal with it and stay balanced. For me as the empath, I became hyper sensitive and developed my “spidey” skills. I sort of went outward in order to survive. And in my experience, the narcissist has the same kind of trauma. Maybe they’re scared as a child, so they go inward for survival. They only think about the self. There is nobody that exists that is as important as the self, because it’s their survival mode. Am I way off on this or is there some truth here? Lisa A. Romano: There’s new research suggesting that narcissism is on the rise, and the researchers have an inkling that social media has something to do with that. This idea that this generation has a platform to celebrate themselves and to gain a source of narcissistic supply, right? That’s one theory. But it is more commonly known that narcissists do suffer from terrible trauma. They go so far inside themselves that they develop a false narrative, and a false self. So they really do think that they’re better than you. They really do believe that. What they need you to do, if you’re going to be in a relationship with them, is to reflect that back. “Oh, babe you’re awesome. Oh, you’re amazing. Oh, no one’s as smart as you. It’s okay, you didn’t mean to go out drinking and crash the car and get three DUIs. It’s not your fault”. They need that. They need someone to mirror that back. That prevents them from feeling vulnerable. They see vulnerability in someone else as a weakness, and they feel entitled to exploit someone who has vulnerability. Carrie Ann: Oh, I see. So that’s perfect as an empath. What people maybe don’t recognize is as empaths we’re not only vulnerable, we’re also highly intuitive. I think what I’ve learned from listening to you is that it’s really important to listen to the deeper self that actually does know how to take care of you. What is good advice for an empath so that they don’t choose another narcissist? How can they create a boundary? Lisa A. Romano: This is why I talk so much about what codependency symptoms feel and look like, because I didn’t know that I was a codependent, yet I was. When I started to research, I realized that I knew what it felt like. Then I saw codependency in almost everyone. People need to know that sometimes trying to control a person is codependent. Maybe you just bought a person a beautiful bridal shower gift and you’re pissed off because it’s not all over Instagram – that’s codependency. You’re looking for a sense of self in this person celebrating you. You want to be recognized, noticed. You’re doing things because you need to feel like you’re seen by others. That’s not good, right? What we have to do first is recognize who we are. How do we show up in relationships? Am I attracting narcissists? Well, I’m the common denominator. None of these men know each other. Carrie Ann: Right? I was like, oh, it’s me. Lisa A. Romano: Right? None of these people knew each other! They lived in different zip codes. So I had to get real with myself and say, “oh my God, this is me”. You have to identify. You have to take stock of that. And then you have to recognize why you’re doing it, because it’s not your fault. If you’re an empath, you can be one with no codependent tendencies and still absorb the energies of other people, because it’s natural for you. You process the world through the emotional body. It’s just the way you were born. Some people believe that empaths are created because of the trauma, and I believe there’s truth in that. I think the one of the reasons I have so much empathy is because I experienced such little empathy in my life. I couldn’t imagine bullying someone because I was bullied. I couldn’t imagine hurting someone and inflicting on them what I experienced. As a codependent and as an empath, you have to recognize who you are, and pay attention to yourself and how you show up. Then you have to develop grounding techniques, and understand what a codependent thought is and what it’s not. You have to know what your intentions are. You have to self-love, and you need boundaries. Carrie Ann: There’s so much incredible information here, but one of the things that stands out to me is if you notice yourself looking for your value from others, that’s where you have to be careful.
We hope that through this conversation we have demystified and clarified a few of the buzzwords that you’ve seen in the self-help world. Lisa has such a depth of knowledge in this area, and many resources to check out if you’re interested in hearing more! She has meditations on Insight Timer, as well as several books. Links to more information on Lisa are below!  For more information and resources on Lisa A. Romano, view the links below:  Her website Her 12 week course Her books  – “I suggest you read my books in the following order,: The Road Back To Me, My Road Beyond the Codependent Divorce, Codependent Now What? It’s Not You-It’s Your Programming, Quantum Tools To Help You Heal Your Life Now, and Loving The Self Affirmations 1 & 2.” – Lisa A. Romano