Category: Conversations

Boiron has been a fixture in holistic health since it was founded in 1932, working to help provide homeopathic health solutions to the community. Homeopathy has been such an important resource in my health journey, as it has been for many looking to supplement their health regimens and treatments with resources outside of conventional Western medicine. Whether you’ve been enjoying Boiron products like Arnicare and Occilococcinum for years or are just getting curious about what the world of homeopathy has to offer you, Boiron has so much to offer anyone looking to incorporate holistic treatments into their life. I had the chance to talk to Deborah Kelly, who has worked as the Director of Public Relations at Boiron for over a decade. Deborah had so much wisdom to share with us about Boiron’s passion for homeopathy and the community that has formed around it in its almost century of existence.

Carrie Ann: Thank you so much for being a part of Carrie Ann Conversations and sharing about Boiron with us today. To start, could you speak a bit to Boiron’s philosophy and mission?

Deborah: Since our early beginnings in 1932, our mission has been to provide the purest medicines possible while employing sustainable practices to protect and preserve the environment. Quality has always been our passion, and our ultimate goal is the well-being of our consumers as our vision of health care puts people at its center. This focus on improving the quality of life for each and every person is our true purpose just like our founding pharmacists Jean and Henri Boiron intended. We are committed to the pursuit of a holistic vision of health care for all in a way that’s better for people, the environment, and our community. Our strong sense of obligation and respect for the environment is reflected in our commitment to good harvesting, manufacturing, and control practices that guarantee the quality, traceability, and reliability of our medicines. 

Carrie Ann: How would you define homeopathy? What are the roots of homeopathy, and what do you think homeopathy has to offer the modern consumer?

Deborah: Homeopathy is a therapeutic method that uses highly diluted extracts of plants, animals, and minerals to relieve symptoms. Homeopathy largely relies on the ‘principle of similars’ where a highly diluted preparation of an active substance will relieve symptoms similar to those produced by the same substance given in a concentrated dose. For example, a microdose of a coffee bean can help relieve nervousness. 

The use of homeopathy in medicine dates as far back as Hippocrates and in modern form since the late 18th century when German physician Samuel Hahnemann first discovered the homeopathic principle of ‘like cures like.’ Homeopathic medicines have been regulated as drugs by the FDA since 1938. Just like their conventional over-the-counter counterparts, homeopathic medicines are clearly labeled for specific indications and are available in a variety of forms such as tablets, gels, ointments and creams, syrups, eye drops, and suppositories. 

Homeopathic medicines are considered a mainstream choice in Europe but are now being discovered by more and more Americans. They value that these medicines will not cause drowsiness or hyperactivity or interact with any conventional medications, supplements or herbal remedies that they may already be taking. For those that want to take an integrative or more personalized approach to their health, homeopathic medicines are serving as a complement to other treatments. Homeopathy is also a big draw to busy individuals who can’t afford to lose personal or professional productivity to drowsiness, seniors who are taking multiple medications, and athletes and fitness buffs who need to avoid performance-hindering or prohibitive substances.

Carrie Ann: There are certainly a lot of reasons someone would want to incorporate homeopathy into their health regimen. You mentioned that more and more Americans are finding their way to homeopathy. As of 2019, homeopathy was a 1.2-billion-dollar industry in the U.S. Why do you think homeopathic solutions have been booming so much in recent years here? 

Deborah: Homeopathy is booming as it is considered to be one of the safest choices for self-treatment. Parents can give their children homeopathic medicines if they have concerns about medications that might cause drowsiness or hyperactivity or interactions with other drugs or remedies. Homeopathic medicines are not contraindicated with pre-existing conditions, making them ideal for even those considered high-risk. They are also safe for use in small children and older adults. In recent years, consumers have been pulling back on their use of traditional over-the-counter medications because of safety and purity concerns. Research shows that when consumers are given a choice, they will purchase a ‘better for you’ or more natural medicine versus a conventional one. As consumers found themselves spending more time at home during the worst of the pandemic, they realized that keeping their medicine cabinets stocked with homeopathic medicines and at the ready was essential for good self-care and important in managing minor health issues.

Carrie Ann: I’ve definitely found it helpful to stock up on a variety of holistic solutions so that they’re always available, whether I’m going through an autoimmune flare or just feeling worn out. What do you see as the ideal relationship between homeopathy and conventional Western medicine? 

Deborah: Many healthcare professionals have incorporated some form of complementary or alternative medicine as part of standard care in their practices. Some of this is driven by patients increasingly asking for something other than conventional treatment. A therapy such as homeopathy allows patients to receive more individualized care which in turn gives health care professionals a better way to serve these patients and differentiate their practices. Naturally, doctors want to recommend the most appropriate tool in their toolbox while adhering to the creed to ‘do no harm.’ Homeopathic medicines can easily and safely be used as a complement with other more conventional or Western medicines, including those available by prescription. 

Like all therapeutic methods, homeopathy does have its limits. Its scope is limited to everyday health conditions like allergies, coughs, colds, flu, stress, muscle pain, and teething. When the condition treated is not reversible like Type 1 diabetes where the function of the organ is gravely impaired or when the patient is unable to react to homeopathic stimulation such as a deep-rooted infection, then homeopathic medicines should not be used.

Carrie Ann: What are your most popular wellness products? Some of my personal favorites are Arnicare, Nux Vomica and Oscillococcinum.

Deborah: Those are good choices as Arnicare and Oscillococcinum are two of our best-known medicines! Many consumers are first introduced to Boiron medicines and homeopathy through Oscillococcinum, our flu medicine which has been on the market for more than 75 years. Our Arnicare line of pain relievers has grown so popular that we now offer it in a variety of forms such as meltaway tablets and oral pellets, topical creams and gels, and formulas for arthritis, leg cramps and bruising. In recent years, our Camilia for teething pain, Acidil for heartburn and indigestion, and our StressCalm and SleepCalm medicines have grown so much in popularity that they now can be found in many drug store chains and mainstream stores. Appealing to health-conscious consumers like yourself, our medicines have no known interactions with other medications or supplements, are non-drowsy, and won’t mask symptoms of a more serious condition.  We also do not use artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, or preservatives in our pellets and tablets or use any fragrances, dyes, and parabens in our topicals.

Carrie Ann: I’ve always loved that my favorite Boiron products are effective without having side effects or strong odors or tastes.

Pain management is such a personal journey, especially for those of us who struggle with chronic pain. Can you speak to what homeopathic products like Arnicare have to offer people as a tool in their pain management arsenal?

Deborah: When it comes to pain, many people will try a multitude of products and medicines to bring themselves much-needed relief. Our Arnicare line of pain relief products can be taken alongside conventional internal and external pain relievers, and its use may help to decrease dependency on options that might have long-term use risks. Made with fresh Arnica mountain daisies responsibly sourced from the French mountains, Arnicare can provide relief from everyday muscle aches and pains.* It can easily be used at the first sign of back, neck, knee, shoulder, and leg pain, swelling from injuries, and on bruises.* Our popular topical gels and creams do not have that traditional strong medicine smell and do not contain menthol, camphor, methyl salicylate, capsaicin, fragrances, dyes, or parabens which is especially important when you are concerned about what you put in and on your body.

Carrie Ann: Community is obviously a big part of Boiron— could you speak to the role of community in Boiron’s mission and for homeopathic healing at large?

Deborah: As world leader in homeopathic medicines, Boiron is committed to lead by example. Our employees have a great deal of passion for homeopathy and so much pride in our compassionate, ecological, and comprehensive approach to medicine. You can see it in our interactions with and close connections to our loyal consumers, retailers, medical community, and community advocates. We have a team of people devoted to the public answering live phone calls, email, and social media posts every day. Boiron’s pharmacy education, medical and retail teams are continually educating thousands of retail staff and health professionals representing a variety of specialties. 

Our medicines have always enjoyed tremendous word of mouth but this has been amplified on social media by our rich community of enthusiasts sharing with us and the world their positive experiences with homeopathy and our medicines. Moms are especially active and vocal when it comes to learning and sharing information about homeopathy. And let’s not forget our amazing long-time community partners like Rodale Institute, Holistic Moms Network, and National Center for Homeopathy, just to name a few, whose missions mirror our own and center around our values of health, education and green living. With the help of these partners and others, we are able to educate a wider audience on the many benefits homeopathy has to offer and the necessity of modern medicine to heal without harm.

Carrie Ann: Boiron’s mission is clearly grounded in a relationship with and respect for the natural world- could you speak to how this relationship plays out through projects like the Boiron Medicinal Garden and the sustainable harvest of arnica montana, the flower used in Arnicare?

Deborah: One of Boiron’s long-time partners is Rodale Institute, whose mission is to grow the regenerative organic movement through research, farmer training, and consumer education. Our Boiron Medicinal Garden, an educational showcase for flowers and herbs used in manufacturing homeopathic medicines, is located at the institute’s 333-acre farm in Kutztown, Pa. This beautiful garden, which first opened to the public in June 2015, features therapeutic plants like calendula, chamomile, St. John’s wort, rue, comfrey and many others commonly found as active ingredients in Boiron’s most popular medicines. This year, we have partnered with our friend Danny Seo and his Naturally House at Serenbe to create a similar garden as another display of homeopathy’s connection to nature.

As a company, we have a strong sense of obligation to respect the environment not only through our partnerships but the way we conduct our daily business. Preparation of our medicines has a limited impact on the environment, and we promote re-supplying wild and organically farmed plants when possible. This, in turn, improves the quality of raw materials we use and the future of our medicines. We also work with botanist-harvesters well-versed in diagnosing the land and employing harvesting strategies to anticipate continuity of supplies for the future. They generally harvest plants from their natural surroundings. Boiron’s high-quality Arnicare products are derived from the French mountains, where Arnica flowers are hand-picked the way founders Jean and Henri Boiron did in the 1930s. Within 48 hours, the fresh plants arrive at Boiron’s lab. A team of botanists and pharmacists transform this mountain daisy into Arnicare, one of today’s most widely relied upon homeopathic pain relief lines.

Carrie Ann: That’s so fascinating! I love the idea that a product like Arnicare can make you feel good about using it, both for your own health and for its sustainability for the planet. For someone who’s just learning about homeopathy, it can be intimidating to know where to start. What resources or products would you recommend to a newcomer?

Deborah: Our website is certainly a great place to start for newcomers to homeopathy. Our site offers a wealth of information that includes recommended books and guides, online interactive trainings for consumers, retailers and health care professionals, video library and FAQs. Consumers can explore our website for information on the various homeopathic medicines available and the many symptoms and conditions they can treat. They can also access or download our free interactive app, the Boiron Medicine Finder, that helps match hundreds of symptoms to the right medicines for more personalized self-care. We also have a Wellness Naturally blog that is updated weekly and offers a deeper dive into the history and traditional uses of many homeopathic medicines. 

Carrie Ann: What are Boiron’s “staples” you think everyone should keep in their cabinet?

Deborah: Keeping a well-stocked medicine cabinet is vital to good self-care! Boiron specialties that should be in every medicine cabinet include our Oscillococcinum to relieve flu-like symptoms including body aches, fever, chills, headache, and fatigue.* If it’s a cold coming on then you want to stock essentials like ColdCalm and our Chestal Honey cough syrup. Arnicare is offered in oral pellets and tablets as well as gel and cream topicals for relief of muscle aches, pain, stiffness and bruising.* For first aid needs like cuts, scrapes, bug bites and minor burns, you should always keep on hand a tube of Calendula, available in ointment, cream, or gel.* For occasional bouts of heartburn, acid indigestion, bloating, upset stomach, and other digestive upsets, there are Acidil meltaway tablets.* For those stressful days and restless nights, you can manage them better with StressCalm for occasional nervous tension, irritability, hypersensitivity, and fatigue due to everyday stress, and melatonin-free SleepCalm for occasional sleeplessness, restless sleep, and intermittent awakening.* 

We also offer our ‘blue tube’ single-active ingredient medicines for more seasoned users of homeopathic medicines or those wanting a more customized solution. Some of the more popular singles are Nux vomica when you have indulged in too much food or drink, Hypericum perforatum for nerve pain, Histaminum for hay fever and hives, Ignatia amara for hypersensitivity, irritability, moodiness and apprehension, and Arsenicum album for diarrhea and vomiting relief.*

Carrie Ann: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today and share all of the ways Boiron is working to make a difference in people’s lives and in the future of the planet. I love the products I’ve been stocking up on for years and I’m excited to try more in the future!

For more information about Boiron, you can visit the Boiron website here.

* Claims based on traditional homeopathic practice, not accepted medical evidence. Not FDA evaluated.

As I’ve said before, creative writing can be an incredible release, allowing us to escape to new worlds, explore things we’re wrestling with and express ourselves fully. Sometimes it can feel difficult or even intimidating to get started in creative writing. To find some guidance on how to get started, we got a chance to speak to author Alex R. Kahler. Best known for works like The Immortal Circus and The Runebinder Chronicles, Alex has written two dozen books for readers of all ages and has focused specifically on bringing more LGBTQ+ representation to genre fiction. We got Alex’s advice for diving into creative writing as well as his go-to tips for gaining inspiration and diffusing writer’s block.

Carrie Ann: Are there any practices or exercises you do to engage your creativity?

Alex: I absolutely love going for long walks. Nothing gets my creative brain engaged better than, well, actively stepping away from the computer and doing something physical. By putting my ideas on the backburner and just absorbing my surroundings and falling into a rhythmic exercise, I find that my subconscious or writing brain is able to make connections and build a story better than I ever could if I was just sitting and trying to force it. Even just pacing back and forth has helped me navigate difficult plot holes.

Carrie Ann: What do you think creative writing has to offer people who pursue it, even just as a hobby?

Alex: So much. Creative writing can be very therapeutic. It can offer a space to reflect, a space to let go, a space to process. It can also give the writer a chance to ‘try out’ other lives. Writing develops a great deal of introspection and self-awareness, an ability to problem solve and think ahead. Plus, there’s the satisfaction at the end of the day that you have created something that simply did not exist before. You’ve put something new into the world.

Carrie Ann: Are there any specific works, types of media, places or people that make you feel particularly inspired to create?

Alex: This is a tough one. I think that once you start writing (or creating in general) you begin opening up to inspiration wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, so it’s difficult to pinpoint an exact source. I know, however, that being out in nature inspires me. As does a good song I can have on repeat for hours. Or live shows. Or a binge-worthy TV series. Honestly, I think most of my inspiration comes from non-book sources, from places that engage my other senses.

Carrie Ann: Do you experience writer’s block at all? What does it feel like when you get writer’s block and how do you combat it? 

Alex: Oh of course. I’ve just started running, and besides feeling like my joints are much older than the rest of me, the similarity to working on a project is far too apparent. There’s the sluggishness right before you’re about to Do The Thing. The desire to stay in bed just a little bit longer. And then, the first few minutes when all I can think is why am I doing this? This doesn’t feel good. 

But, like running, the only way out is through (and pacing yourself!). 

I do think it’s necessary to take breaks from projects, to work on something else for a time. Especially if it’s an altogether different creative medium. But you eventually just have to come back and push through. It gets a little easier when you’ve taken some time off. You strengthen the creative muscles and give your subconscious something to mull over.

And, hey—the most important thing to remember with writer’s block is that it doesn’t have to be perfect! You can always go back and edit.

Carrie Ann: What are your favorite things to write about? 

Alex: I love love love world building. Dreaming up fantasy worlds and magical systems is one of my favorite things. Probably because that’s how I spent most of my time as a kid. So my favorite things to write are inspired by fairy tales and myths and daydreams, but also colored from my life experiences: wizards and circus artists, faeries and boarding schools, magic and friendships. Getting to step away from the mundane world and into pure fantasy is incredible, especially since I know I get to share that with others.

Carrie Ann: When you get an idea you want to write about, how do you get started? Do you usually work to create the big picture or do you begin by focusing on smaller details? 

Alex: A friend of mine has a saying: don’t scare the bunny. And I’ve held onto that phrase for years. 

When I get an idea (usually as I’m trying to fall asleep) I’ll write it down in a note app or on a scrap of paper and then I’ll let it sit. I don’t want to scare the good idea off. And I think that’s what happens if you jump at it the first time you see it. The Idea usually just isn’t ready.

Sometimes it will sit there for hours, or weeks, or even years. But I always go back over my list of ideas, and sometimes a few of them join up, and sometimes the spark turns into a bang and suddenly The Idea forms. When that happens, I’m all about world building. I’ll grab a big sheet of paper and list out everything I can think of pertaining to this particular world or story: architecture and landmarks, plot points that I know I want to happen, magical systems, mythologies, the characters I see inhabiting the world. Slowly, as the world forms, the plot takes shape. But it’s rare that I start a book based off a character. It’s almost always about the world.

Carrie Ann: What advice would you give to someone who wants to write but doesn’t know what to write about? 

Alex: I say this gently: Just start.

It’s that simple, and that difficult. You won’t know what you love to write about until you’ve written a bunch of things you don’t. Just as you won’t find your voice until you’ve mimicked many others. Read broadly, write broadly. And, most importantly: don’t share those first tender drafts. Even to people who will be respectful and positive. I think that the magic needs to be kept to yourself at first—you have to let it build, and then your confidence will build. I still don’t talk about first drafts or ideas to anyone except my agent and a select writing friend or two. Even then, I keep details vague.

I say this because even though we are our own worst critics, I think we all write with the idea— and fear— of someone else reading it. So we self-edit. We don’t give ourselves room to play. We immediately crush the dream by saying this is stupid or this has been done or this will never sell. Those statements aren’t important. What’s important is giving yourself space to play and create without outside interference. That’s where the magic is.

Carrie Ann: Are there any prompts or exercises that you’ve found especially helpful when you’re trying to write something new? 

Not to sound like a broken record, but walking. Any repetitive physical activity that lets me drop out of my brain and into my body. That, and I’ll start a new document and format it all pretty and just start tossing in ideas and notes. 

Put as much as you can on the page to start— there are no wrong answers or ideas! Give yourself everything you can to work with.

And then, don’t work with it. 

Play.

You can learn more about Alex and his works at www.arkahler.com

Communication is the backbone of every strong relationship. It’s the way we get to know each other, understand each other, and share our stories. But none of us are born perfect at communication. Even with the best of intentions, sometimes we can still end up feeling like we’re speaking a different language than our partners and loved ones.

Communication is always something we can improve on, so we asked Dr. Emily Cook, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Bethesda, Maryland, what it takes to be a good communicator.

Why Is Communication So Hard?

One of the things that makes communication so difficult is just how much information we convey and process without even realizing it. Dr. Cook says that communication is a transfer of information, and that information goes way beyond our word choices. “It’s not just the words we’re saying,” Dr. Cook says, “But our tone of voice, our body language, our assumptions, what we already know going into it, what we bring to the table. We often don’t listen from a blank slate and we’re also not speaking from a blank slate.”

This is true for any interaction, but especially so when you’re talking about a conversation between two people in a relationship who have months, years, or even decades of history together. One of the reasons communication can be so hard or why misunderstandings can be so common is that it’s easy to get wires crossed when we’re bringing our own memories and baggage to a conversation.

Consider Your “Job”

Dr. Cook says that good communication means focusing on your role as either the listener or the speaker; either way, you have to do your job well for the communication to be successful, and each role requires different skills. “Am I looking to share something and be understood,” Dr. Cook says, “Or am I seeking to listen and understand?”

If you’re going to be the speaker and have something you want to share, it’s always helpful to be thoughtful about what you want the other person to understand. You want to be clear, use “I” statements that focus on how you feel, and you want to think about your message. Can you imagine what the other person’s reaction is going to be? What’s the purpose of sharing? “Am I asking a question? Am I describing a need? Am I telling a story, looking for advice or validation? In the therapy room when there’s something to be communicated, I work with the speaker to think through some of those things on the front end.” Dr. Cook says that when you consider your listener when you’re deciding how to share your truth, it can make it easier for them to feel cared for while receiving it.

Even if you’re not the one speaking, you still have a crucial job when it comes to communication. “The listener’s job is to be the receiver,” Dr. Cook says. “Can they set aside their own agenda, their own assumptions and really bring an open heart to the conversation?

There are a few visualizations Dr. Cook walks her clients through when practicing good listening. The first is an exercise called “crossing the bridge.” Imagine the speaker inviting the listener to cross a bridge into their world. The speaker becomes the listener’s tour guide, introducing them to their world. “When the speaker crosses the bridge, they bring only themselves,” Dr. Cook says. “They leave behind their judgements, they leave behind all their baggage and they only come as themselves with an open heart.” As a listener, visualizing crossing this bridge into your loved one’s world can help you loosen your grip on your own biases and focus on really hearing the other person.

Another visualization, which Dr. Cook explains in her book, involves picturing the speaker passing a rock to the listener. “The speaker goes into their suitcase or their bag and selects the rock they want to pass. There’s a thoughtful process about which one is important today and then they select it. They spend a second with it, considering what they want to share about it, how it feels, where it came from and what’s important for the other person to know about it. And they start to describe it: ‘This is my rock and I want you to know this about it and it’s this shape and be careful of this sharp edge over here.’ And as they’re describing it, they’ll pass it over to the listener. They’re not throwing it at their head, they’re not dumping it on their lap, they’re gently passing it. And the listener receives it and holds it and reflects it back: ‘I see that this is an important rock and I see the sharp edge, I’ll be careful.'” The listener hands the rock back, grateful that the speaker was willing to share it with them. Using a metaphor or visualization like this can be very helpful when we’re thinking about how to hold each other with love and gentleness rather than with reactiveness, fear or judgement. Even when we have things to share that are unpleasant or charged or difficult, being careful to maintain a sense of respect, love and tenderness is how we have truly successful communication. After all, the goal of communication isn’t to win, it’s to connect, understand, and be understood.

Emotions Count

The most obvious part of communication might be the words we choose to share, but there’s a lot more to the story. If you’re solely focusing on word choice, you might not be conveying the message you think you are. Dr Cook says that as humans we are way more attuned to nonverbal emotional feedback, meaning that we’re not just listening for words but for the emotions behind them. “There’s really interesting research about our brains and how they take in information. When there’s a disconnect between the words we’re hearing and the information we’re getting from the nonverbal, facial expressions and tones of voice… if there’s a mismatch between them, our brains preference the nonverbal information first. It’s the older part of our brain. We were communicating as animals without words much earlier than we were using language, so that part of our brain is faster because it’s older and it’s wired deeper.” This disconnect can get us in a lot of trouble: think about a time someone apologized to you without really meaning it, or got defensive even if their words were calm. We’re very adept at gleaning deeper meanings, which is why making sure our tone and words match our energy is so important. Dr. Cook says even if your intention is to stifle your emotions in an attempt to sound calm and neutral, the results could be harmful. “The other person’s going to pick up on that and wonder what else is underneath it.” She says this is why she works so hard in therapy to create a safe environment for vulnerability and authenticity, and why you should try to do the same at home.

Slow Down

Dr. Cook says one of the biggest communication missteps she sees is just rushing through conversations without taking the time to make sure everyone is understood. “When we’re going fast we get reactive and we can miss really important pieces, and we’re probably not doing a great job listening because we’re already thinking about how we’re going to respond. That just ratchets up the intensity.” Eventually, if you don’t slow down, conversations turn into arguments where neither person feels heard or understood. The antidote to this is just to focus on the hearing. Making sure everyone has the chance to be heard, setting aside distractions and slowing everything down can make these exchanges more productive and kinder to everyone involved.

Getting Good At Communication

Like anything else, becoming good at communication requires practice. There are a few exercises Dr. Cook recommends if you’re trying to get better at both sharing and listening. One of these is simply getting in the habit of debriefing after difficult conversations. Asking questions like “How did that go for us?” and “Did you feel heard and understood?” can help you gain new insights and make conflict feel less like a single scarring event and more like everyday maintenance. After all, the purpose is understanding so it’s important to make sure it’s working. With these debriefing conversations, everyone has a chance to share what went well and what didn’t, helping these exchanges to get smoother and easier over time.

Dr. Cook says that if there’s something you feel like you need to share but are having a hard time finding the words, you should try journaling it out or even just talking about it in a voice memo. It’s the same principle as writing a letter when you’re upset and then waiting to re-read it after you’ve taken some time to cool down. In the moment we can get defensive and emotional so working out ahead of time the essence of what we want to share, and why it’s so important to us, can help keep us on track. Dr. Cook says this kind of prep can help us feel more confident in our message. She says some might resist this strategy because they don’t want to sound scripted or rehearsed. “I think the reframe on that is: ‘I really was intentional about what I wanted to say and I had you in mind, my listener.’ And when the listener hears this message, they feel respected.”

When you keep your listener in mind while planning what you want to say, you can assure them that you thought about what it might be like for them to hear this information. This can only help them feel more loved and appreciated, and it also gives you the best chance of being understood. “It helps get the message across. And that’s really what we want. The point is to deliver this information and have it be received and then reflected back to us.”

Dr. Cook’s last piece of advice is to do some research on how to validate. “That’s a skill that you can learn how to do. Learn how to be a safe listener for someone who’s sharing. It’s trust building in yourself and in the relationship, that we can do hard things. That’s Glennon Doyle’s talking point. We can do hard things. We can say hard things with love, we can say our truth, we can be authentic and when we’re in a safe relationship, a genuine and mutual investment, we can do it.”

You can find more information about communication in relationships in Dr. Cook’s book, The Marriage Counseling Workbook: 8 Steps to a Strong and Lasting Relationship.

Hello! My name is Becca. I’m the digital editor for Carrie Ann Conversations; I work to edit all the articles that appear here and write some of them myself. If you’ve spent a lot of time on here, you’ve probably read some of my words and read even more that I’ve edited. It’s wonderful to meet you!

This morning I looked at the calendar and, like many of us have probably been doing lately, I thought about what I was doing a year ago just before everything changed forever. What I was doing a year ago was receiving word that I had gotten this job.

Let me give you a little background. All I’ve ever wanted to was write and I figured if I could get someone to pay me to do it, then I’d be set for life. I went to a liberal arts college that emphasized independence and ambition and creativity and introduced us to all these incredible alumni who held jobs in publishing houses and writers’ rooms and all sorts of places and maybe gave me the impression that following your dreams can’t be really all that hard otherwise my college wouldn’t keep telling me to do it all the time. This meant that my post-grad move out to Los Angeles set me on a direct collision course with a pretty serious learning curve. Did you know, for instance, that actually a lot of people would like to make their living writing TV shows and therefore it’s kind of a hard thing to get a job in?

I started working freelance jobs in TV production, working in offices and onset and still feeling invigorated to be near all of the famous stuff even if I wasn’t getting to “world build” so much as I was getting to “answer phones” and “wash dishes” and, one time, “buy out three Ralph’s produce aisles’ worth of lettuce and transport it all to the Staples Center downtown in rush hour traffic.” All the time, I would be writing my own scripts and essays and newsletters on the side and applying for jobs and grants and creative fellowships. Over the years it got harder and harder to believe that I was actually good enough at writing to do it professionally. Creative fields are really challenging this way because it gets very hard to know whether the reason nobody is interested in your work is because it’s a competitive industry or because, maybe, you are actually very bad and nobody thought to tell you. Eventually I got to start writing for a lifestyle magazine on the side but every year, around February or March, I would have to go back into production (with all of its phones and boxes and heads of lettuce) to actually pay my bills.

I have a very vivid memory of a conversation I had with my therapist my first year in LA. I was feeling exhausted and talentless and worn down and isolated and was having a hard time remembering why I had even moved so far from home in the first place. After maybe her fiftieth attempt to tell me that things that are worth it often take time, she said it in a way that clicked. “What if I told you that you were going to have a career in writing, but it was going to take five years?” she asked. “Would you be able to see it through?” At the time I probably said something petulant like “how do you know that in five years I won’t still be terrible but also older?” but it did stick with me. Something I’ve learned from therapy in general is that you are very rarely able to see the big changes while they’re happening. Growth, development and sometimes even just waiting for the things that are on the horizon require time, and as much as I still resent this at times, there’s no way to cheat that process. I think humans have a hard time thinking about the future because we are only used to speaking the language of the present and past. We can see the things that have already happened and try to use them to make sense of what’s going to happen later. The problem with that, of course, is that if you’re just looking at the things that have already happened it gets very hard to picture the future containing something entirely new.

For a while, nothing very new happened for me. I kept writing a little for money, a lot not for money, picking up crew dinner from Panda Express and getting rejected from every digital publication I read/love/respect/enjoy. And then about a year ago, a friend that I had made working on a TV show that never aired told me she was looking for someone to take over her job helping manage a website for Carrie Ann Inaba. I thought it sounded like the perfect opportunity, I wore my favorite blazer to the interview, I thought it went well and then I went home and quietly waited for the email telling me it wasn’t going to work out.

Except, and you’ll have probably guessed this part already, it did work out! This last year, while everything got so difficult and volatile for everyone, myself included, I was also getting to talk about directions for this website, hear Carrie Ann’s visions and humor and thoughts about what Carrie Ann Conversations should be and get to do my part to help them come to life. I got the chance to write for a living (full time!), and not just write but write honestly about the challenges we’re all facing in the pandemic and try to help readers feel that they’re never alone. I get the chance to work alongside Carrie Ann, who really is as kind and thoughtful and special in real life as she is on TV. Sometimes I still can’t believe that this amazing job that I didn’t even know existed was just waiting to find its way to me. And while it’s not all fun and games and candle roundups all the time, I really can’t help but be thankful, every day, that I’ve made it here.

I’m still a long way from accomplishing some of my dreams and goals, and sometimes this can really stress me out, especially in a year where you can almost viscerally feel time passing you by. But whenever I start to worry about what I haven’t accomplished yet, I think about going back in time to visit the version of myself that was restocking chip bins and trying to jam a full-sized clothing rack into my little hatchback under threat of being yelled at. I think about what she would say if I told her that our therapist was right about the five years thing and how relieved she would feel knowing it was going to work out. I’d like to think there’s a version of me in the future who feels the same way about me now.

I want to thank our CAC community for an amazing year; the only reason Carrie Ann and I work so hard on every story we publish is because of you. Your support, stories and feedback mean the world to us and I couldn’t have asked for a better community in a year where we could all use more reminders that we’re in this together. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability and kindness and the trust, warmth and love that you extend to us every day. I’m so looking forward to seeing where the next year takes us.

-Becca

For over 10 years, Rhonda Spies has worked with celebrities and notable figures as a stylist, preparing and equipping them with the perfect look for every occasion, event, and red carpet appearance. Rhonda has worked with Carrie Ann Inaba for the past 3 years and is responsible for making sure that every piece Carrie Ann wears reflects her personality and makes her truly shine. We had the chance to catch up with Rhonda and learn more about the work she does every day with Carrie Ann.

CAC: How did you get into styling as a career? What drew you to it and what are your favorite things about it?

Rhonda: I have loved fashion for as long as I can remember. I love the way it tells a story and reflects a person’s individuality and I love how it can instantly boost a person’s confidence simply by transforming how they feel when they’re comfortable in their own skin. I also love to see beautiful clothing come to life.

CAC: Can you give a quick definition for what a celebrity stylist does? Can you walk us through your average week working with Carrie Ann?

Rhonda: A celebrity stylist collaborates with their talent to dress them for various events. A lot of times you’re working with someone who’s building a career and the way that you’re dressing them is going to impact that career.

An average week with Carrie Ann on The Talk begins with selecting looks for the upcoming week. Often there will be various details about each show that we have to take into account: What color the background will be, whether Carrie Ann is sitting, standing or moving, who the guests are, etc. With those details in mind, together we work to set the looks. On show days I’m there to bring the looks to life by helping her get dressed, foreseeing any problems that may arise and adjusting accordingly, accessorizing and making sure she is comfortable before the show goes live.

CAC: How long have you been working with Carrie Ann? Has your process for styling her or her style itself evolved over your time together, and if so how?

Rhonda: I have been working with Carrie Ann since 2017. My process is constantly evolving as Carrie Ann’s career evolves and changes. I pay attention to current trends and classic styles. I bring her pieces that will complement her while keeping her looking fresh and new at the same time.

CAC: What parts of Carrie Ann’s personality, style, identity or look do you take into account when styling her? 

Rhonda: When you’re dressing someone, you have to take all of the components of their personality into consideration while at the same time executing your vision and taking into account the feel of each specific event or appearance you’re dressing them for. As each year passes I get to know Carrie Ann better and better and as a stylist I like to gently nudge her out of her comfort zone. I think if you look back over the years we’ve worked together you can see how her style has changed and grown. I always tease her that I have to nourish her inner fly girl so I try to add a certain flair that speaks to her aesthetic. At the same time staying aware of the little nuances of Carrie Ann’s taste helps push me out of my comfort level as well. She is very intuitive so I feel like we have a mutual level of trust that allows us to take fun fashion risks.

CAC: When you need to style Carrie Ann for a theme episode of Dancing With The Stars or The Talk, what’s your process for deciding on a concept and then making it a reality? 

Rhonda: With The Talk, I start with the creative notes and direction from the executive producers. From there I research looks, swatch fabrics and collaborate with my wardrobe department for a cohesive direction. Then a costume will come to life. Most recently for Halloween 2020 we created magic for Carrie Ann as Willy Wonka.

CAC: What’s been your favorite theme episode look to design for Carrie Ann?

Rhonda: For Dancing With The Stars , I love the theme weeks when we get to experiment and build a costume from the ground up. This past season my favorite week was “Villains Week” when Carrie Ann was a glamorous version of Pennywise from IT.

CAC: Could you walk us through picking the inspiration, deciding on and finding the specific pieces, and putting it all together? 

Rhonda: I started by researching past images of Pennywise from the movie and what existing costumes available on the market looked like. From there I took a few of my favorite images to the brilliant costume maker Maggie Barry and together we sketched our vision. Then we sourced fabric and started to put together the look. I ordered the accoutrements such as the neck ruffle, the red pom poms and striped tights. The next step was the first fitting which is where I can really see what is working and what tweaks need to be made. Then it’s back to the costume maker for the final touches. The process is a lot of work, but so much fun and was so rewarding to see her in our creation on show day.

CAC: Is there anything you particularly love about working with Carrie Ann or about working on Dancing With The Stars?

Rhonda: I love Carrie Ann’s willingness to experiment and try new things. She is the most fun to dress up and truly loves to collaborate. We have become very close and I’m so grateful that she’s always up for trying new things and experimenting with new looks. It’s always rewarding to watch her own look after look. Dancing With The Stars is the absolute best because she gets to wear a beautiful gown every week and I enjoy the process of finding new designers to bring to her and redefining her style every season. It’s truly hard for me to pick a favorite. One look from this past season that was memorable was her gown from Disney week. It was very feminine and ethereal. Paired with dreamy make up and a blush colored wig the look really came together.

Carrie Ann’s team is made up of Rhonda Spies (Stylist), Marylin Lee Spiegel ( Makeup) and Glenn Nutley ( Hair) for Dancing with the Stars and and Rhonda Spies (Stylist), Marylin Lee Spiegel ( Makeup) and Steve Berg (Hair) for The Talk.  Watch for more articles from her incredibly talented team.

The Wildlife Learning Center, a zoological park based in Sylmar California, has always been about education and wildlife conservation. It all started when founder David Riherd and his co-founder Paul Hahn started bringing animals into kindergarten classrooms to explain simple biology concepts to children. What began with just a tortoise, a frog, and a few other rescues blossomed into a contract with Los Angeles United School District, one of the biggest districts in the country. As the desire for their programs grew, the partners were able to take in more and more wildlife until they bought the old olive grove that now serves as the WLC’s center of operations.

Many of the animals who live at the Wildlife Learning Center were born in the wild but can’t return to their habitats due to injury or socialization, or they were bred and raised as pets. In one of the enclosures lives a raven named Ophelia who has two broken wings that prevent her from flying. Before coming to the WLC, her home was in a caring vet tech’s chicken coop where she picked up a habit of clucking. In another enclosure nearby, a coterie of prairie dogs finds their new home after the field in Texas where they once lived was developed into a Wal-Mart and a rehabilitator with a passion came to the rescue. “They developed a way to vacuum them out of the tunnels,” David says. Often, prairie dogs are seen as pests and nuisances and can be exterminated without a thought. Now, this colony can live a full life at the WLC. “They’re so interesting,” he says. “They have different vocalizations for different predators. They can even distinguish between a person with a gun and a person without a gun.”

The center has been running at its current site since 2007, with a little help from a few generous patrons like Betty White and Pauley Perrette who are passionate about the work they do for wildlife conservation.

Not Every Animal Is A Pet

One of the first enclosures visitors see upon entering the center is a found family of vibrant, playful squirrel monkeys that each represent the backgrounds of many WLC animals. Two were “dropped,” or abandoned, by their mothers, one was a rescue from the zoo at the iconic Playboy Mansion, one came from a shuttered ophthalmology lab, and the last was a surrendered pet from Oregon.

The laws for owning exotic animals differ wildly state-to-state, but several states like Oregon allow for the import and ownership of wild animals like monkeys, small cats, foxes and even sloths as pets. Several of the animals now in the WLC’s care were former “pets” of celebrities and influencers who only realized too late that they were in over their heads. David says keeping wild animals in a home isn’t a good idea for either the animal or the owner. He cites so many cases where buyers surrendered their “pets” after constant screeching, destruction, urination, and everything else you would imagine a wild animal would do to a home. Meanwhile, domestic vets are often not equipped to treat these more exotic animals and can easily make a mistake that can cost the animal its health or even its life. “My wife is board certified in zoo medicine,” David says. “The amount of experience she has to have to treat all these animals [is immense], and she still has to research things all the time because there could be exceptions. For example, there’s a de-wormer that’s completely safe for reptiles except for one species of snake it could kill. You’ve got to know that there’s the possibility that something could be harmful and you don’t just jump into it.”

He says diet is another crucial aspect that can be easily overlooked by collectors or buyers. The WLC utilizes a zoo nutritionist specially trained in exotic animal nutrition who designs every animal’s diet. He says sloths are particularly tricky to keep well fed, but other animals like monkeys can also quickly face problems if they aren’t fed properly. “There’s a really high incidence of diabetes in pet monkeys. [Owners] may have read that monkeys eat fruit and feed them fruit, but the sugar content in our fruit versus wild fruit is so different.”

One of the Wildlife Learning Center’s missions is teaching an appreciation for these wild animals and educating about wildlife conservation while highlighting the reasons they don’t make good pets. David says this is very intentional; he doesn’t want any visitor seeing a member of staff interacting with one of their animals and getting a false impression. “They see that we have a relationship with them and a lot of people want that, so it’s something we really have to make a point of discouraging.” He wants to show people that he and his staff care about and respect these animals deeply while still emphasizing that they are never pets. “What I like to tell people when they’re presenting animals is, ‘be specific about why it wouldn’t make a good pet when people ask.'” For instance, a visitor might be charmed by a fennec fox’s beautiful fur, giant ears and cute face but find their perspective widened when they also learn that the animals can smell, screech, and have a passion for digging. This education could help lessen the appeal of exotic pets, thus reducing demand that leads to animals being surrendered to centers like the WLC in the first place. David says many countries have banned the exportation of wildlife, but there are still places where baby sloths are pulled from their mothers. “I’ve seen sloths in the wild and I can’t imagine someone going up there and tearing it off a tree.”

See the Animals, Love the Animals.

One of Wildlife Learning Center’s favorite tools for education is their ambassador animals. David says these animals, who have temperaments that allow them to participate in classes or interactions, can help people connect to nature, and understand the need for wildlife conservation, in a new way. He says these interactions can show visitors why these animals are so special. “You can get people to want them to continue to exist. Just for that reason alone, just because you think it’s beautiful or interesting.” He says that the WLC’s two sloths, Sid and Pauley, are the crowd favorites. “Sloths are just a beloved animal,” he says. “People will come in and meet the sloth and they’ll cry.” He shares that the center recently hosted a virtual meeting with the sloths and one of the attendees commented afterward that it made her want to save them. “That’s exactly what I’ve always wanted to hear,” he says. “Sometimes I wonder, are we really making an impression with people? That comment was everything we could have hoped for from someone meeting one of the animals.”

David says they’re careful about the animals that become ambassadors; the choice is made for each animal’s temperament rather than by species. He says the WLC’s armadillos, hedgehogs, hawks and owls have all excelled in ambassador roles. His staff always asks whether it would cause the animal any stress to do an interaction, prioritizing their animals’ wellness above any other factor. For instance, one of the WLC’s grey foxes, Kina, is naturally tame and friendly. She was brought into an animal rehabilitation center as a baby with plans to return her to the wild. “But despite all their efforts, like not letting her associate food with people or even see people at all, she was still too tame!” In Kina’s case, being an ambassador animal means “going to classrooms, being in programs, and she can come out and sit on a table while we do a talk about her, as opposed to just being an exhibit animal.”

The WLC and Wildlife Conservation

In addition to helping guests get passionate about the fight for wildlife conservation, the WLC also actively contributes to helping certain species survive. The Wildlife Learning Center participates in several SSPs, or Species Survival Plans, which help ensure that certain at-risk species are able to live on through selective breeding programs. “Probably the best known SSP in California is the Condor Recovery Effort,” David says. “That one was highly successful because not only do they have a zoological population but they were able to return them to the wild.” The LA Zoo, the Santa Barbara Zoo and the San Diego Zoo all contributed to bringing back condors from the brink of extinction. He says the program was so successful because it didn’t just breed condors for zoo exhibition, but began reintroducing them to the wild and providing treatment to chicks in the field. He also points to the mountain yellow legged frog, a species native to California that has been critically endangered. Just this past year, while it was closed due to COVID-19, the LA Zoo was able to release 1,000 tadpoles into the wild from the insurance colony they were tasked with creating in 2014.

One of the WLC’s own SSP animals, a North American Porcupine named Barbara, is headed to the North Carolina Zoo in Asheville to further preservation efforts there. “We’ve been a significant part of the porcupine SSP because we’ve been really successful in breeding them.” He says he’d love to work to bring back the porcupine population in the Sierra Nevada mountains, where their numbers have been declining. “I’ve spent a lot of time in the Sierras hiking and I’ve always wanted to see [a porcupine] and never have. I would love to be a part of bringing their numbers back up and repopulating them.” He says it’s an honor to be a part of wildlife conservation on a larger scale. “Yes, it’s great to provide a home for an individual animal, but if you can be a part of protecting a species as opposed to an individual, that to me is more meaningful work, especially to a small organization like ours.” He says that breeding isn’t always the endgame for SSPs; a geneticist will make recommendations for diversity and make pairing suggestions, sort of like a dating service for zoo animals, but sometimes participating is as simple as holding a place for endangered animals. “No one institution can maintain a whole population, but if you have a lot of organizations participating you can grow the population.” Sometimes it can even be a temporary arrangement; David says sometimes institutions will reach out seeking placement for animals while they’re renovating enclosures or doing construction.

Get Involved

If centers like the Wildlife Learning Center give you a passion for wildlife conservation, it doesn’t have to end at the door. There are always ways to help the local native species living in your own backyard; you just have to know where to look. For instance, David talks about the mountain lions in the Santa Monica mountains. Locally, California just signed a bill to ban anticoagulant rodenticides that are poisoning rodents and therefore the mountain lions that eat them. “It needed a lot of support to pass. If people realize or really appreciate our biodiversity then it can lead to protections like that.” He points to another effort in Los Angeles to build a wildlife overpass over the 101 Freeway to help mountain lions access a greater stretch of wild land. Trapped on what is essentially an island surrounded by highways, aggressively territorial mountain lions push out newer males into potentially fatal traffic. “To find its own territory it’s going to have to cross one of these major highways. That’s what happened to P-22.” He references the locally famous mountain lion sometimes spotted in the Hollywood Hills. “What makes him so remarkable is that he survived crossing the 405 and then the 101, crossed through Sherman Oaks, the Hollywood Hills, and ending up in Griffith Park. Most don’t successfully cross. I think for male mountain lions the two biggest causes for mortality are getting struck by cars or other males. They’re in a quandary. They have to risk moving somewhere that’s dangerous or being killed by another male.” The bridge would help connect this population to the Simi Hills and the Los Padres, a huge wilderness area with plenty of new territory for ousted males. The big cats would be freer to disperse and it would give them more genetic variability to avoid dangerous levels of inbreeding. Fighting for measures like the bridge can be a huge step in allowing animals like the mountain lions to exist peacefully and reduce conflict and unnecessary death.

Get Passionate

For David, the act of wildlife conservation and education comes from the purest place. “Our main goal is to have people walk away with a greater appreciation for wildlife and our biodiversity. I think that’s the biggest thing we can do— these animals are so interesting. There are so many fascinating animals that we share our planet with. If you can value them that much more because of your time spent here then I think we’ve achieved a significant goal. It’s because of my exposure to nature that I really care about it.”

He describes his trip to the Amazon where the rainforest is being threatened by oil drilling. “To me, there’s always all this talk that we have to save it because what affects the environment and affects animals eventually affects people.” While he says this is totally valid, he thinks that saving animals doesn’t always need additional motivation. “I see these as treasures, as historic buildings or famous paintings or music. These are living treasures that should be maintained for that reason alone. You don’t get it back. Sure, if we destroy the earth and its inhabitants it’s going to affect us, yes, but I think it can be more than that. The biodiversity of this planet is extraordinary. It’s an incredible thing and we should value it for that reason alone.”

He says he hopes that places like the Wildlife Learning Center can be a bridge to people who can’t see animals like this in the wild, helping them get engaged in the fight for wildlife conservation. “If you’re not lucky enough to go out into wilderness and see it, you can gain that appreciation that people that work here have. Why would you ever want to lose sloths? You don’t want to look at it in a book and say. ‘This used to exist,’ like the dodo or the Tasmanian tiger.”

Looking around at what the Wildlife Learning Center has become, it’s not hard to see that it all started with a passion for animals, and a drive to share that passion with others. “I just like to talk about it,” David says, looking around the center. “I think this is cool. Don’t you think this is cool?”

For more information about the Wildlife Learning Center, please visit their website.

If you told me a year ago today that I would be writing on a laptop propped up on moving boxes in a new apartment that I’d committed to for an entire year I would have laughed in your face. Well, maybe not directly in your face, but in my brain I’d find humor in the concept of settling anywhere. Commitment isn’t something that comes naturally to me. Location-wise commitment, that is. Around this time last year I was pulling into my parent’s driveway after a 4-month-long stint of living in my 1994 Ford Econoline 150 van.

It began in June of 2019. I had gone through a long breakup and decided I needed to jump headfirst into something I’d always wanted to do. That same week I quit my job, found a van on Craigslist, packed up my Brooklyn room, drove 11 hours to North Carolina, and bought my very first van. Sharona was her name. She was dark maroon with a teal carpet lined interior. It was love at first ride.

Mechanically, she was in good shape. There were few cricks and cracks that needed repairing; with the help of my dad and brother-in-law they were swiftly mended and it was time for me to hit the road.

The trajectory of the trip was only broadly planned. I let visits with friends and family guide part of my main route and let my interests, desires and adrenaline lead the rest.

State by state the lessons unraveled. When I close my eyes I imagine the winding road as a washcloth being rung out, twisting and turning the things I’ve been conditioned to believe about myself, about others, and about life. Drained of every ounce of water, of belief, laid out flat to dry. Limp and clean. Refreshed and renewed. Ready to use again.

In short, this trip changed my life, and living in a van taught me lessons about myself I could have never anticipated.

Texas: Sitting with Uncomfortablity

I pulled into Texas in the midst of the hottest time of the year. August in Austin is dreamy, but deathly hot. And the cocktail of heartbreak and heat resulted in tears coming from every pore on my body. In an attempt to cool off I visited Barton Springs, a natural spring located in the heart of Austin where you can swim, sing, dance or go topless, but you can’t eat an apple (I learned the hard way from a lifeguard: No food allowed). It was 101 degrees and I strolled to the edge of the spring to jump in. One toe in, I realized the water was freezing: not cold as in chilly, but old as in it takes all of your breath away the moment you jump in. And there’s no place to ease into it. It’s now or never.

I jump. I can’t breathe. I swiftly swim to the side, get out and make my way back to the sun. Within minutes I’m overheated again. That’s when I make the decision to get back in the water. I swim and swim until the feeling comes back into my toes and that’s when I realize that sitting in uncomfortability instead of avoiding it teaches us to face difficult situations. Uncomfortable scenarios are inevitable. But if we choose to sit in the uncomfortability and work through them, slowly our bodies and our minds will adjust.

New Mexico: Comparison in Sand

Driving through New Mexico felt like a desert daydream. I pulled into the White Sands National Monument an hour before sunset and hiked up and down the sandy dunes to find a solo place to watch the pink and orange stained sky. As I sat there, not a soul in sight, I reached down and grabbed a handful of sand, carefully inspecting the soft granules. No two grains were the same, and each and every one had their own unique and beautiful shape and feeling. That’s when it hit me. We wouldn’t compare a granule of sand against another. No single molecule of sand is any better than the last, but together they create this beautiful landscape.

Why do I compare myself to others? Why do I compare others to others? My battle with comparison stopped then and there as I laid back into the sand, the harmony of thousands and thousands of granules beneath me, and watched the sun retire behind the mountains with gratitude.

Colorado: Trusting Your Gut, Trusting Your Heart

Colorado is as beautiful as they say. After staying in a few state parks here and there and sleeping on the side of a city park in Denver, I ended up settling in Rocky Mountain National Park for a few days. There was no cell service and the weather was getting cooler by the day. Each day I spent slowly, waking to the sound of an elk’s bugling cry, watching the birds in the rain, resting on top of a mountain in the middle of a long day’s hike. Trusting my body, trusting my mind to guide me throughout each day with no interruptions, no opportunity for distraction via my cell phone or computer. Just me, my gut and Sharona.

When I left I felt rejuvenated. More prepared to continue on this journey and trust myself.

Utah/Wyoming/Montana: Being Unapologetically Yourself

The next three states I traversed with a few new friends. Making our way through Utah, we spent a few days exploring and camping in Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. A few of these friends I knew, not closely, and a few I had just met. Sharing a tent and stories around the fire is an intimate setting, especially when you snore at night like I do. There’s no sound machine to cover the snore of a person in the middle of the woods.

One morning we found a natural spring and stripped our clothes off, making our way into the warmth. It was a fairly secluded spot and while it was already a new feeling to be clothes-off in the middle of nowhere swimming in a spring, it was an even more shocking experience when a group of people walked in to join us, unknowing that all three of us were completely naked. As the time passed we realized we were going to have to get out of the water; these visitors weren’t leaving anytime soon and we needed to get back to Utah. We all timidly stood up and walked out of the water as the other swimmers watched. Instead of feeling mortified, I decided to laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

The laughs continued through the rest of our trip and I ended up with a few new friends who accepted my snoring and my naked body and my questionable road trip snack choices. Trying to be someone else is exhausting and pointless. All we can do is learn to love and be our unapologetic selves and hopefully laugh along the way.

Idaho/Washington: Acknowledging Anxiety Without Fear

In Washington, my anxiety started to rise around the same time that my van started having a small issue. Nothing major, but not as minor as the dead battery that had happened back in New Mexico when I fell asleep with the headlights still on.

A couple hundred dollars later, my van was working fine, but the anxiety wasn’t going away. Suddenly every turn felt scary, every new face encouraged fear, and my gut couldn’t hold onto anything good. On a mountain, lost in the middle of a hike, a wrong turn made me realize I was fearing the actual anxiety above anything else. My resistance to the anxiety, to taking the wrong turn, to messing something up, was what was creating my fear, not the anxiety itself.

I decided to take my Texas advice and address the anxiety once it arose. As soon as I accepted the anxious thoughts and stopped resisting them, the fear was lifted. Sure, the anxiety stayed rent free for a while, but it no longer manifested itself into an impending doom that took over my mind and my movement. Hello anxiety, goodbye Washington.

Oregon: Creating Boundaries

I spent a week or so in Oregon connecting with an old friend, hiking in the rain, and staying in a B&B that I’m convinced was really something else. But since it was rainy with a touch of snow, and my van wasn’t equipped for living through extremely cold weather, I decided staying indoors was my best option. Plus, they had an actual shower and a toilet, quite the upgrade from my solar shower bag and emergency pee bucket.

While the home was warm, a few interactions I was having weren’t. Between connections back at home, over the phone, and with guests at the commune— I mean bed and breakfast— I felt walked over, pushed to my end, and like I was doing things that over-exerted my own capabilities in an unhealthy way. So for what felt like the first time in my life, I started to set some boundaries.

I expressed a need for space. Set a boundary with loaning money and giving favors. And drew a line for how I felt I was being treated. It turns out boundaries aren’t as terrifying as they seem; they’re necessary for sustainable relationships with others and with ourselves.

California: We Exist as We are, and That Is Enough

I’ve been to California before, but driving through was nothing short of a dream. I laid out on the beach, slept under the redwoods, visited friends, and sat on the top of a rock face in Yosemite with my feet hanging off such a steep side that it had a few height-fearing strangers telling me I was making their palms sweat.

As I sat in the sun, nestled in a crevice of the rock, staring at El Capitan, I felt harmony and oneness. I had made it across the entire country, coast to coast, and found love in, with, and for myself.

We exist as we are and that is enough. Whether we’re sitting on top of a mountain, or in a chair at the office. We just are. And that is enough.

The lessons this trip taught me are something I’ll carry with me throughout the rest of my life. Sure, I still fear anxiety. Yes, peeing in a bucket isn’t glamorous. Neither is sleeping in a Walmart parking lot, eating tortilla chips for dinner, and everything else that comes along with living in a van. But living isn’t about glamour, it’s about gratitude, and constant ebbs and flows. It’s about learning how to adapt, learning to love ourselves, and laughing hard all along the way.

To read more pieces from our Guest Authors, click here.