I think, like many of us, I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed by the worries and troubles of the present. These challenges always loom large in my mind and seem easier to notice than the blessings and unexpected good moments of any given day. I’m not so much a “glass half full” person as I am a “waiting for the other shoe to drop” person, and I find that I’m often so preoccupied with anticipating setbacks that I forget to look around at the good things that I have. Lately, I’ve realized that when I look back at old phases in my life, even ones that were difficult, I always feel overwhelmed by nostalgia for the good parts of life that I now miss rather than remembering the challenges or pain.
As someone who’s freelanced most of my adult life, I’ve had more of these transitional phases than you might expect of someone my age. The company I worked full time for my first year out of college often left me feeling drained and stagnant; at the time I was in a deep depression and wasn’t finding anything fulfilling about my new adult life after making the monumental move from North Carolina to Los Angeles. Now when I look back on that era I remember the friends I had at that office, the free catered lunches, and the trendy neighborhood and adorable 200-year-old house I called home for that year.
Since then I often found myself either working long hours in television production roles or scrambling to find writing work. I would find that whichever position I was in, I would yearn for the one that had come before. When I was sending out dozens of copywriting applications a day I would miss the financial security and structure of my TV jobs and when I was working 12 hour days on set I would miss the freedom and autonomy of my gig work. Now that my production days are more distant, I don’t tend to linger on the difficulty of the work, the long hours or the fast-paced demands. I feel genuinely lucky to have worked in entertainment as I’d dreamed for years, even if it wasn’t in the TV writer role I had envisioned for myself. I’m thankful for the days I was able to traipse around real movie studios for my job and I’m grateful for all the friends I have now that I met while working various freelance jobs. Any time I find myself near an old apartment or old workplace all I feel is nostalgia for the good times and remembrance of the things I miss, not resentment over my struggles and difficulties. It’s been so helpful in learning that there are always good things in life you shouldn’t take for granted, no matter what your circumstances look like.
This lesson, that it’s important to appreciate the positive things in life while you have them, only became more urgent as our world changed forever in the wake of COVID-19. How many days did I spend feeling bored or dissatisfied where I would now be thankful just to go to a movie theater or museum or get coffee with a friend? If this time has taught me anything it’s the true breadth of experiences I was taking for granted, and how many tiny things there were, and still are, to be thankful for. If I can look back on even the harder parts of my history and find memories that I want to hold onto, I can be sure that there are still things to be thankful for even in this time that has been so painful and challenging.
What things will I miss from this era when it has passed? There will be so much to rejoice when the quarantine ends and when even our most vulnerable are protected from this virus, but are there things I will grow more appreciation for after we all move on? I might miss the dedication my friends and I have had to stay in touch with consistent video chats. I might become thankful for the reduced pressure to always be productive. My anxiety often tells me that if I ever slow down or stop moving that I won’t be as valuable to the world and having the world itself force me to come to a stop, sit inside and focus on small accomplishments might be a lesson I’m better off for having learned. I’ve been around more silence and loneliness than ever before and even though I’ll enjoy becoming more social again I don’t think I’ll ever shake the love for being alone that I’ve cultivated in the past year.
I know I will feel so much relief when I no longer have to go to bed worrying for the safety of each of my friends and family, when even the most trivial distractions like movie matinees and theme parks are safe and open once again, when I can travel to see loved ones without the fear that I’ll be putting them in danger. I hope in that next stage of life that this one stays with me and reminds me of the time when small parts of life I’d always overlooked were no longer guaranteed. I hope I’m able to take whatever stressors, setbacks or frustrations come and measure them with the thought: “at least I can hug my friends again.” I hope that this consistent feeling of nostalgia for the past can guide me into gratitude for the present and future as well.
Over the past year, we’ve faced so much change in so many different ways. Almost every month of last year transformed our daily life in a new way, and much of that transformation came in the form of adversity, sacrifice, and loss. Now we’re experiencing different change in the start of a new year and, with the presidential inauguration, a new chapter in our history as a country. No matter where on the spectrum you lie, big shifts like these are, more than anything, an opportunity for us to evaluate and observe our own responses and consider what purpose change can serve in our lives.
Heraclitus said, “There is nothing permanent except change.” We are always experiencing change; it flows around us like a river, constantly in motion. You can’t resist change any more than you could hope to hold back a river from running, and trying to do so will only create sorrow. If you learn to work with the river instead of struggling against it, allowing it to flow and learn from its movements, it might have something to teach you. Change, not stasis, is the natural order of life and finding harmony with it can grant so much peace.
This day may represent a big transition for our country, but it means little if each of us aren’t embracing change daily in our own lives. By nature many of us may fear or feel discomfort with big shifts; we tend to prefer the things that are familiar to us and the patterns we’ve grown accustomed to. What if instead of being suspicious or resentful of change we greeted it like an old friend? After all, change has always been with us and it’s brought us so much, from the leaves that fall every year to the healing of our own bodies when we experience sickness or injury. Inside of our bodies change is constantly happening as our cells replace and replenish themselves; what if we saw external change as the same opportunity to learn and grow? Can you think of anything in your life, whether it’s a relationship, a job, a home or just a better perspective on something, that you didn’t have 5 years ago? Focusing on these gifts that change has brought us can help us realize that change doesn’t just take away from us without bringing us good things too.
Every day, not just this day, is a new chance to learn something new, adapt, transform, find a new perspective. If we learn to embrace it rather than treat it as an enemy, change can be one of the greatest gifts that life offers us. Change can be scary and, yes, it can mean pain and loss and endings, but it is also responsible for all growth, new beginnings, and any hope for the future that we can have.
I hope that each of us can start to greet change not as something to be dreaded or bargained with but as the dawn of a new day with new possibilities.
As a Capricorn, I’ve always relished new beginnings and the opportunity to start fresh. Every new year, to me, is a gift to leave the past behind and place energy into hope for the future. This year, that hope might be a bit harder to conjure for many of us. Last year was full of difficulties, and the new year doesn’t change the fact that we are still living with a lot of uncertainty. But today, we’re here to focus on the new year and all the opportunities and possibilities that come with it.
On my Instagram Live this Monday, I found myself reflecting on a quote from Maya Angelou: “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” That is certainly true of this year; none of us can stop the pandemic from happening or ensure that everyone we know and love remains safe. It can be so easy to feel overwhelmed by these big events that shape life around us; this state of mind can swallow us whole if we allow it. I’ve found in times like these that a shift in perspective is in order; like Maya Angelou said, we can decide not to be reduced. We can focus on the factors within our control, shift our gaze from the darkness and work to embrace light instead.
This year on my birthday, I was reminded that beautiful things can happen in the most unexpected places and ways. I felt nervous leading up to it, worried that this year would feel so different. Instead, between the celebrations from my friends at The Talk, a beautiful drive-through electric lights display and a gorgeous birthday cake to share with the people I love the most, I’ve never felt more held or loved. Just because many elements looked different than previous years didn’t mean there wasn’t plenty to treasure and enjoy. A simple shift in perspective, to embrace and lift up the things I was thankful to have instead of focusing on what I was missing, enabled me to feel so much joy, positivity and gratitude.
I know this coming year won’t always be easy; I’m sure we have challenges and obstacles to come that will vie for our attention and attempt to extinguish our joy. But I hope for every one of these obstacles, we are able to fix our focus on happiness and growth and use our energy to create changes that invigorate us. Whether it’s changing a corner of your home to make it your own or discovering a new fitness routine that you love or making a commitment to loving yourself as much as you love your partner, there is promise and potential in any change you strive to make.
Happy new year, and I hope that each of us can find the wonderful gift of the new.
In this year it’s often been hard to see the passing of time or check off any benchmarks; many of our days have all looked the same for months, which can make it difficult to see progress or set goals or even just feel time passing. Despite all of these challenges, the New Year can still offer the perfect opportunity both literally and symbolically to start over fresh; it’s a chance to wave goodbye to this past year and look toward the future with intention and hope. If you’re looking for a new goal or meditation to take on for the coming year, why not start by looking at your Enneagram? Your Enneagram type can offer so many insights into your deeper needs and outlook, and that makes it a great tool for creating intentions for yourself.
Enneagram Type 1s tend to have a need for completion and can think of their goals, ambitions and daily lives in somewhat rigid terms. This tendency to check off boxes can make you feel uncomfortable in grey areas where there’s no clear end date or benchmarks, but these grey areas can have a lot to offer. Try making some more subjective goals this year, whether it’s learning an instrument or getting outside more or being more open in communication and see that even goals that don’t fit into boxes can add value to your life.
Type 2: Be Upfront About Your Expectations.
A lot of times as an Enneagram Type 2, you’ll hear that your fatal flaw is that you care too much about others and don’t speak up enough about your own needs. This is completely true and something you should always watch out for; Type 2s are often quite sacrificial and this can be a strength and a weakness. However, what’s often forgotten when we talk about Type 2s is that there’s another dimension to their selfless acts. You think of others often, but truthfully you’ve probably noted when someone doesn’t do the same for you more than once. 2s gauge how much they are loved by how others reciprocate their affection, as do many of us, but they rarely make this expectation known. 2s might shy away from letting their loved ones know about these expectations out of a fear of looking selfish or high maintenance. While this is admirable, being upfront about your own needs, and your expectations, is truly a gift you can give others as well as your self. It can help your loved ones to care for you more effectively and precisely.
3. Define Your Own Image of Success.
Enneagram Type 3s have a super-powered ability to excel wherever they find themselves, but often have a tendency to define success on others’ terms. Spend some time thinking about what your best self would look like to you and only you and reflect on what you would be doing if you had only yourself to impress. Would anything be different? See where that line of thought leads you and notice the places it contrasts goals or images you’ve pursued in the past.
4. Embrace Your Connections As Well As Your Individuality.
Thoughtful, intense, and deeply individualistic, Type 4s have a need to separate themselves from everyone else and demonstrate their uniqueness. The emphasis on individuality can also leave you feeling isolated. Meditate on the ways you are similar to others, even if it feels threatening at first. Finding common ground with others doesn’t make you less special and it might help you feel less alone in challenging times.
5. Prioritize Needs Other Than Self-Preservation
As an Enneagram Type 5, you have a deep passion for accruing knowledge and storing it for later. This can also be your approach to other resources, including your time and energy. 5s tend to approach the world from a place of self-protection, worrying that others might try to take something away from them. This new year, try thinking about what you have to gain from the world instead. If you haven’t prioritized physical experiences as much as mental ones, try making a pact to visit a beautiful path or trail once a week or start doing yoga. If you’ve been neglecting your relationships, try investing in them and see if they leave you with more than you had instead of less.
6. Strive To Look Beyond Your First Impressions.
Because you often seek security above everything, you can have a tendency towards thinking in black and white and trying to label things as good or bad right away. This is handy for survival but not always necessary- open yourself up to learn more about a person or situation before forming a snap judgement and notice that you do often have time to come to more informed conclusions instead of running with your first instinct.
7. Embrace The Mundane
The Enthusiasts of the Enneagram, Type 7s love nothing more than the freedom to fly from one exciting experience to the next. While this means there’s rarely a dull moment, this impulse to speed past moments that are slow or uncomfortable (or boring!) can mean you might miss out on some experiences worth having. See how it feels to sit in moments that aren’t incredible or ineffable but are just simple or quiet or nice; if you treasure them, consider how you approach or prioritize experiences accordingly.
8. Consider the Value of Empathy in Your Relationships
If you’re an Enneagram Type 8, you’ve likely prided yourself on calling others out for their B.S. in the past. 8s can see themselves as the ones who call things as they see them which can cause them to view others who hedge or speak vaguely as “fake.” Yes, honesty and candor are important and admirable traits, but the best path forward might not always require these at full power. Sometimes, it can be better to let someone go uninterrogated for any number of reasons where confronting them might not be kind or constructive. There’s a difference between acting fake and acting with kindness and empathy, and some situations might call for a less blunt approach.
9. Create and Protect Your Boundaries
Type 9s are called Mediators for a reason. You’re extremely talented at accommodating others and repressing any parts of yourself that could cause conflict; this makes you an excellent friend but can often put you in situations where others ask too much of you without thinking. Because 9s are so used to becoming what they need to be for others, they can grow numb to the voice inside stating their own needs— try to make it a priority to listen to and stand up for this voice when it asks for space, time, or the option to say no. Setting boundaries with others can be scary, but your needs are as valid as anyone else’s.
The New Year is always a great opportunity to evaluate where we’ve come from and look toward the future, conceiving of a better, more realized version of ourselves. This could be the perfect time to hear what the Enneagram is trying to tell you and use it to inform another year of growth, learning and evolution.
If you celebrate, I would like to start by wishing you a very warm and merry Christmas. I know that for most of us, this holiday doesn’t look the same as it has in the past. Mixed in with the sentimentality and warmth might be loss, grief, the overwhelming absence of ones we wish we could be with. For many this month marks the end of a very long year, full of trials, difficulty, and altered expectations. There is no denying the sorrow and hardship this year may have held for you and I want to keep a space for these very valid feelings on a day that is usually such a joyful one.
I believe we can always recognize the gifts that life has for us, even if they’re not what we expected; the losses of this year throw into sharper relief that which we still possess. If you’re able to spend this holiday with a loved one, hold them tight. If you’re celebrating with your friends or family remotely instead of physically, what a blessing to still be able to have their faces and voices if not their embrace. If all you have this year are memories, surround yourself with them. Photos, stories, letters, recipes, inside jokes: these are all ways that the ones we love stay in our lives and in our hearts even if they feel far away at the current moment. Human connection is always a gift and those we love are truly more precious than anything that could be wrapped in a box.
The gift that Christmas holds for us is rarely receiving a new possession; it’s the spirit of gratitude itself. It’s a chance to recognize, as a thousand Christmas stories and movies have shown us, that gathering our loved ones to us is something we should never take for granted. I hope today you are able to hold someone you love, even if this is via a phone call from states away. I hope that today can hold warmth for you, even if it’s just a space you create for yourself to be grateful to be alive, to taste your favorite desert or sing your favorite song or look our your window at the sky and think about all thats still to come. The love you hold for yourself is as important as the love you hold for anyone else and I hope your help yourself to a bigger dose than ever on this day.
I want to end by telling you how thankful I am for you. If you feel lonely this year I hope you can count me among your community and know that you are held and loved and important this day and all days. What is community if not those we share our stories with and connect with even when life is hard? If you are here, with me, reading this right now, I want you to know how much gratitude I hold for you. I’m beyond grateful that you would spend a moment in this space with me, connecting with my words.
I want to wish you a very merry Christmas, a chance to be thankful for the connections you have or the strength you’ve gained or the enumerable ways you’ve grown in the past twelve months. I hope you find a special brightness today.
It’s never easy to be alone during the holidays, and it can be especially tough if you’re older and facing issues like limited mobility or financial stresses. It’s so important to remember that you are valuable and you are loved, and there are so many ways to keep this at the top of your mind this holiday season.
Do Things for Your Own Joy
Spending a holiday alone can be difficult, but one thing that might help is remembering all the joy and love in your life. Take out old pictures of your favorite people and your favorite moments and make them present in your home. Play your favorite music around the house or light a candle that you love to make your space truly feel like you. Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do fun things; on the contrary, it’s all the more reason to decorate, play music, or make a tasty meal.
To me, rereading a book can feel like a vacation or a visit from an old friend; it’s one of the ways I like to pass alone time and it helps me feel connected both to the past and to my own imagination. If you have a quiet moment, try taking one of your favorite books off of the shelf and spend an afternoon enjoying the company of your favorite author.
If you’re feeling cooped up or limited in options, a driving service can even help you get out and about so you don’t need to depend on others to do chores or enjoy a local site.
Remember Your Favorite Holiday Traditions
If you’re alone, the holidays can lead many to think of the things (or loved ones) that are absent, but you can also focus on the aspects of the holiday that you’ve always loved, especially the things that emphasize your connections to others. Keep up your Christmas card list, bake your favorite recipe or even do a baking exchange with your loved ones, and make your house look the way you want, whether this involves decking it out or just displaying a few of your favorite decorations that have good memories attached to them.
Budget to Avoid Stress
If your finances have a tendency to get stressful this time of year, you’re not alone. The holidays leave many people feeling stressed about meeting expectations, especially if it feels like you have to figure everything out on your own. Making a list of people to get gifts for can get stressful fast, but remember that what your loved ones care about the most is the relationship you share, not what you can buy them. Make sure to budget ahead of time, and think of homemade gifts you can get for people that will mean more to them than something store bought.
Keep up With Loved Ones
Keeping up with new technology can be intimidating, but especially this year there are so many tools that can keep you connected with the people who matter the most. Zoom, Skype, and Facetime can all allow you to feel like you’re in the room with everyone who matters to you even when you can’t be together physically. There are free tutorials online for every video chat software, from Skype to Zoom, that can help you feel less alone during the holidays. Taking a few minutes to get to know these services, or having a loved one walk you through them, is a small investment that can help you stay in touch with your loved ones all holiday long.
Be sure to share things with your loved ones in whatever capacity works this year, whether it’s stories, your favorite recipes, old photos, or simply your time. Remember that you’re a valuable member of your family and your community with lots to offer.
Get Moving However You Can
Moving around is always a great way to feel happier and more upbeat, no matter what activity level you feel up to. Whether you do a home workout, a walk around the block, some simple stretching or just some mindful breathing, there’s a way for you to engage with your body and feel better on the inside. The holidays can be difficult and giving yourself a way to feel good, healthy and strong will help you to thrive.
Make Your Mental Wellness A Priority
Isolation during the holidays can take its toll, and it’s important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Caring Senior Service says that seniors are more likely to suffer from depression, but less likely to seek help for it. Make sure to lean on your loved ones and communities when you need it; they’re there for you. If you belong to a church, check to see if they provide counseling or one-on-one care; this can be a great resource and a service that really can give you the relief and support you deserve. Remember that you matter, you are loved, and that you’re never truly alone this holiday season.
No matter how your holidays look this year, there are so many ways to generate joy and cheer and have a good time even if you’re on your own for part or all of the season. Isolation is always a challenge, particularly for seniors, and if you’re struggling this year, you’re not alone. Whether it’s getting up to speed on a video chatting app, spending a few hours with your favorite memories, creating homemade gifts for your loved ones in other households or simply staying connected in your church or community, there are so many options to bring you support and happiness this holiday season.
If you’re a lover of astrology, you’ll know that one of its greatest strengths is the extra perspective it can give you on your friends and loved ones. This is never of more practical use than it is when you find yourself buying a present and need all the information you can get to settle on the perfect gift. A person’s astrological sign can help illuminate so much about your closest friends and loved ones and highlight the things that they’ll truly appreciate about a gift.
Aquarius
Eclectic and independent, Aquarians have a knack for marching to the beat of their own drummer. They’re anti-authority and individuality, meaning they tend to express themselves by picking up hobbies and interests that are a bit off the beaten path. This means there are no hard and fast rules when finding gifts for this astrological sign; something that speaks to their tastes or specific interests will go a long way. That being said, here are a few gifts an Aquarius might be tickled to find under the tree.
For an Aquarius, there’s nothing like the gift of a new fixation. An out-of-pocket, self-contained hobby like this will give them the perfect excuse to disappear into their own world for a few moments.
Aquarians love to keep their spaces eclectic to reflect their personalities, and aesthetic taste tends to be a big part of their lives. This simple but beautiful glass lamp is sure to suit them (and their room) perfectly.
Pisces
Pisces tend to be among the more emotional and spiritual signs, flowing through the depths of their emotions as easily as a fish in water. Pisces are deeply creative and empathic, which means they can be sensitive to other peoples’ moods and have a hard time setting boundaries. A great gift for Pisces’ astrological sign is anything that gives them an excuse to check out of reality for a few moments, or check in for a bout of creativity. Anything self-care related will be a welcome treat for a Pisces, as will any excuse for them to express themselves creatively.
Because Pisces tend to be sensitive, they need a lot of restorative self-care to remain balanced. This set of masks should keep them stocked with excuses to have spa nights for a while.
Aries
Arguably the fieriest of the fire signs, the ram is known for being passionate, direct, and confident. Aries have a strong desire to lead and an allergy to compromise; they aren’t as averse to conflict as many other signs are. Competitors by nature, any game, sport or challenge you throw their way, as well as anything that furthers one of their passions make great gifts for this astrological sign.
Aries might be the type most likely to watch a movie and say that the villain “had a point;” chances are, they’ve been perceived as the villain a time or two because of their direct nature and penchant for conflict and they can probably relate. They’ll love this game for letting them unleash a little chaos in a way that’s fun for everyone!
Aries’ tend to be ruled by their passions which make them powerful friends and good leaders, but it can also mean they have a hard time seeing their impulses and desires from a bigger perspective. This passion planner can help them channel their energy and curtail their impulses to create a more effective direction for themselves.
Taurus
Known for being down-to-earth and pragmatic, Tauruses also have a deep love for comfort and beauty in their spaces. Tauruses project comfiness everywhere they choose to nest, and it’s evident in everything from their curated blanket and teacup collections to their art and snacks. If you want to give a this astrological sign a gift, think of things that will enhance their favorite place: their home.
A mini zen garden like this one can make a great addition to a Taurus’ decor and give them an excuse to spend a long moment getting it to look just the way they like it.
Gemini
Vibrant and curious, Geminis are known for their sense of humor and a tendency to bounce between hobbies and fascinations at a rate that their friends might describe as “dizzying.” Governed by the communication planet Mercury, Geminis love nothing more than to amass knowledge and then diffuse it (or dump it, as the case may be) all over their chosen loved ones. If you love a Gemini, you know they aren’t discrete about their interests. Whether it’s an obsession with a movie from the 80s, Shakespearian sonnets or a specific dog on the Internet, let the things they talk about obsessively guide you to the perfect gift for this astrological sign.
Geminis love knowledge but they also love picking up way way more books than they could ever read. With these floating shelves, you can help them turn these books into a lovely home aesthetic and prevent an impending book avalanche.
Geminis love nothing more than adding more information to their hoarde; whether it’s tongue-in-cheek or sincere, a book like this one is sure to genuinely thrill the knowledge-loving Gemini.
Cancer
Emotionally deep, sensitive and highly self-protective, Cancers enjoy creating safe, comfortable spaces for themselves and tend to be loving and generous with those that are close to them. Gifts for this astrological sign that lean into their deeper emotional need for softness and comfort will certainly make your favorite Cancer feel loved.
Give your favorite hard-shelled Cancer the chance to access their soft, sentimental side by pressing their favorite flower and putting it in this gorgeous frame.
Most Cancers would never turn down an extra candle; this one is sure to keep their space feeling cozy and calm.
Leo
Confident and bold, Leos love luxury and feeling like the life of the party. Very rarely will a Leo balk at being “too much” or “over the top;” Leos don’t tend to see the point in doing anything small! When you’re buying a gift for this astrological sign, you should use the same philosophy and don’t shy away from going big and dramatic.
If the Leo you love has really been missing tearing up their favorite karaoke bar this year, this is the perfect gift to get them back in the saddle, recreating the experience of performing in their home!
Virgo
Virgos can be specific, tending to fill their lives with rules and favorite rituals. Pragmatic and precise, this astrological sign enjoys gifts that fit into their routine or, even better, make things easier on them. Anything that makes life more convenient will make the perfect present for a Virgo.
Chances are, your Virgo has been keeping a to-read list as long as you’ve known them— pay homage to their inner bookworm with a candle that smells like their dream library.
Tending to a bonsai tree requires patience, discipline, and precision, all of which are a Virgo’s strong suits. Your loved one will adore watching this tree grow under their careful guidance.
Libra
Charismatic, fun-loving and flamboyant, Libras love nothing more than a fun time with good company. Anything that makes life more enjoyable for a Libra, whether it’s a riveting piece of entertainment, luxurious self-care, or something that’ll make a great story at a party, will make for a gift they’ll remember for years to come.
Because Libras love to be social, it’s important to them to look their best. The gift of skincare for this astrological sign will be the perfect way to jumpstart their new year, and what Libra doesn’t love a little self-care?
Libras have a deep love for art of all kinds and love to be great at everything they do; learning to play an instrument like the simple ukulele and getting to produce beautiful music of their own will be a welcome gift, and one that you’ll likely start to see making an appearance in their social media.
Scorpio
Known for being mysterious, dramatic and intense, it can be intimidating to figure out what to get a Scorpio. Their passions run deep, and they’ve got an acerbic side that might frighten away more distant acquaintances. At their hearts, though, Scorpios love anything that keeps them enthralled or helps them stand out in a crowd. A gift that shows this astrological sign that you know who they are deep down will mean the world.
As one of the most tactile signs, Scorpios love experiences that utilize their senses— a set of bath salts that smell incredible while soothing skin and muscles will become their go-to stress reliever.
Sagittarius
Optimistic, free-wheeling and spontaneous, Sagittarians love to live in the moment and have fun no matter what they’re doing. Your Sagittarius friend is probably known for their brash sense of humor and aversion to planning anything ever. When thinking about astrological gifts for this sign, try to lean into their fun-loving side and their attraction to travel and exploration.
Even if their travel plans might have gotten scrubbed this year, your Sagittarius likely has a long list of places to visit and a phone full of memories from previous trips. A thoughtful gift like this will allow them to keep track of where they’ve been and always keep their eye fixed on their next adventure.
Spontaneous as they are, Sagittarians always rate at the top of the “Most Likely To Wreck Their Phones” list. This waterproof case not only protects your favorite archer’s phone from everyday wear and tear but will come in handy the next time they want to jam out in the shower or take a video from inside the pool because “it’ll look so cool.”
Capricorn
Goal-oriented, driven and organized to a tee, Capricorns don’t know any other way to go through life than “with a plan.” The best gifts for our astrological goat friends are ones that help them make order out of chaos (organizers, planners, or even a complimentary deep-clean for their apartment) or ones that encourage them to take a break at least once in this lifetime.
If you’ve got a Capricorn who loves their sign and astrology in general, they’ll love this planner that folds all that information together. Your Capricorn will feel like this book, complete with its prompts for inner reflection and big-picture planning, is speaking directly to them.
Capricorns work hard, which means they also rest hard. Caps tend to take the term “off the clock” seriously; when they’ve completed their daily tasks you’re likely to find them in full hibernation mode. This tasty sampler of teas will make a great companion for them while they curl up with some fuzzy blankets and the dumbest TV show they can find.
Using astrology can be a great way to guide yourself to the perfect gift for everyone on your list, from the eclectic Aquarians to the regimented Capricorns. I hope these tips help you treat your loved ones and maybe learn something new about them in the process.
They always say it’s better to give than receive, and it’s never as true as it is around the holidays when you’re able to give your partner a gift that really means something to them. But what if you feel nervous that you can’t think of a creative gift idea? Sometimes we just experience a bit of a block when it comes to coming up with gift ideas, but there are so many things that can help us come up with the perfect gift. For instance, knowing someone’s love language can help you know what’s most important to them and allow you to tailor a creative gift that fits. Here are a few gift ideas for each love language no matter what your budget is. If you don’t know your partner’s love language, you can (sneakily!) get them to take the free test here, or read more about each language to see which one fits their personality the best.
Quality Time
People with this love language treasure, above all else, when the people in their lives set aside time for them whether it’s a walk, a thoughtful conversation over coffee, or even watching a good movie. A creative gift for someone who speaks in quality time will focus on something the two of you can do together; a new game, craft or puzzle you thought they’d like that you can both work on, a class for the two of you, a box set of a show you both love, two copies of a book you’re both interested in so you can talk about it together. The best gift for them is a promise of a meaningful moment, so something that involves you as well as them will always impress them. If you have a tighter budget and more time, you can translate this same sentiment into an experience that costs nothing; plan a walking or driving tour of the places in your town where you two have memories, create a scavenger hunt where the “clues” are all related to your relationship, even set aside time to learn something from them or watch a movie or show that they love but you’ve never gotten into.
Words of Affirmation
People who speak Words of Affirmation as their love language find it hard to feel truly loved or appreciated unless they’re told so verbally. To people with other languages, it can seem like they’re being intentionally opaque when they say they don’t know how you feel despite your actions that would seem to prove it, but this is truly how they see the world and receive love. When it comes to words of affirmation, specificity is important. “I love you” is obviously a great start, but this type thrives when they hear the specific things you love about them and the reasons you’re glad they’re in your life. You might have seen variations on homemade (or personalized) books called “All The Reasons I Love You;” this is a sweet gift idea for anyone but will be especially meaningful for people who speak in Words of Affirmation. If you’re more on the creative side, a gift in the form of a song, poem, or letter might be a great way to show that you care but even sitting down and writing a list of your favorite things about them is sure to make them smile.
Physical Touch
For people with this love language, affectionate touches, hugs and kisses help them to feel cared for throughout the day. There are subtle ways to play into this love language with a gift; a comfy blanket big enough for two, a big hammock to share, time set aside for a cozy movie night. Something they might really appreciate is a fully committed “massage night,” with oils, scrubs, candles, and maybe even soothing spa music to complete the experience.
Gift Giving
This love language can seem really vague when you’re trying to buy a creative gift for a holiday, but it actually gives you a lot to work with! People who value gift giving don’t just want any material possession; they really value gifts that demonstrate how much thought the giver put into it. Because of this, a handmade gift will mean just as much to them as anything you buy in a store. When you’re picking a gift for a person with this love language, think about the things they care about the most, or the things you love about them, or your favorite memories of them, as each of these will wield so many great gift ideas. Give them something that will elevate their hobby, make note of something they mentioned they needed in passing, or even turn a memento from a past date, like a polaroid, ticket stub, or pressed flower into a sweet memento for them by framing it or incorporating it into a craft. As long as it comes from the heart with intentionality, you can’t go wrong.
Acts of Service
It might not seem particularly romantic to other types, but people who speak in Acts of Service can’t think of anything sweeter than taking something stressful off their plate. This might be the only type for whom “love coupons” might genuinely be a good idea; the promise of a clean house at the end of a long day, washing up after a meal, or taking the car to get washed will mean more to them than almost anything else. If you’ve noticed there’s a particular task they dread such as cleaning the house or grocery shopping, consider getting a service that can take it off of their hands and watch them start glowing from the inside out.
Giving the perfect gift rarely means that you have to break the bank; giving is an act that comes from the heart and is informed by your connection to another person. Using a tool like love languages can help you figure out what your loved one needs the most to give them something that blows them away every time.
The Enneagram test can be a great way to find out more about yourself and others, and it can be especially useful during gift-giving seasons. Considering the deeper levels of your loved ones’ personalities can be helpful if you’re feeling stumped on the gift front. A person’s Enneagram type can help you understand what’s most important to them, what they need the most, or what would bring them true joy this season which can be just as helpful as considering their interests and other passions. If you’re not sure of your loved ones’ Enneagram you can read more about the system here or have them take the free test here.
Read on for the best gifts for each Enneagram Type.
Type 1
Organized, thorough and lovers of structure, Type 1s won’t stop until everything is sorted, straightened, and ordered to perfection. For Type 1s, consider gifts that play to their Type A side, like fun planners and organizers, or encourage them to take a day off (for once) with gifts that soothe and calm.
If there’s any Enneagram type that tends toward tight back and neck muscles, it’s definitely Type 1. Give your beloved 1 the gift of a quick massage break, although they’re more likely to just use this heating pad while they continue to configure their spreadsheets. Either way, their chiropractors will thank you!
If your Enneagram Type 1 is true to form, they likely already have a planner for the coming year. In fact, they might have three. However, this one might have a bit more to offer everyone’s favorite Perfectionist. Type 1s are used to having everything together, planning and organizing life to a tee; this strength can also leave them with a blind spot towards bigger picture or more nebulous issues, whether they’re emotional, interpersonal, or just hard to deal with. This Legend planner will allow your Type 1 not only to keep tabs on their everyday nitty gritty, but help remind them to check in with their more abstract needs like happiness, mindfulness, social connection and general wellbeing as well. Having their emotional needs formatted in the same way as the rest of their to-do list might empower your loved one to tackle them as well as they tackle everything else.
Type 2
The Helpers of the Enneagram, Type 2s tend to put others before themselves, instinctively tending to their loved ones’ needs. The most important thing for any 2 is to feel reciprocity— to be reassured that their love for others is returned towards them. Because of this, 2s appreciate a hand-picked, personal gift potentially more than any other type.
This customizable book lets you write the way you feel about your loved one on every page; write the whole thing like yourself or pass it around a friend group and help your Type 2 feel truly loved and appreciated.
When it comes to Type 2s, it really is the thought that counts. By giving them a jar of little affirmations or words of love, you’re giving them a literal cache of love to tap into whenever they’re feeling low or uncertain.
Type 3
Type 3s are social chameleons, dynamic and able to shift to capture the attention of any group of people. They’re hard working and achievement-oriented and love to be looked up to. A great gift for a Type 3 will help them accomplish their objectives and look good doing it.
Your 3 friend might be the only person on earth who could actually use this gift; they’ll love noting future benchmarks, writing down goals to surpass, and maybe even scribbling in the date of their eventual inauguration because, let’s face it, they’re going to run the world someday.
Type 4
Deep, emotionally intense, and individualistic, Enneagram Type 4s thrive on creating an existence all their own that’s tailored to their passions and interests. When you’re thinking about a gift for a Type 4, look at their creative outlets and passions and customize your gift to those, or look for other ways to give them a deeper experience in their day-to-day: an interesting book of memoirs, a deck of meditation cards, or even some incense.
Type 4s can spend a lot of time in their own heads or in the clouds and because of this they can often neglect their own self-care. By introducing a fun and captivating element like tarot you might actually trick your 4 into developing better patterns for wellness in their lives!
Type 4s tend to be introspective and creative by nature, meaning that most of them enjoy writing whether it’s journaling, fiction or song lyrics. Give your Type 4 the gift of always feeling inspired when they sit down to write with this gorgeous fountain pen.
Type 5
Enneagram Type 5s have a driving need to be self reliant, self dependent, and collect as much knowledge as they possibly can. You can never go wrong when gifting a book to a Type 5, as long as it’s in a subject you know they’re interested in. The quickest way to a 5’s heart is through their interests. And, you know, not making them talk too much.
In general, Type 5s read a lot, and not just for pleasure. One of their biggest strategies to life is collecting as much knowledge and information as possible, which will make a book log like this one the perfect companion.
Type 5s can be incredibly friendly and kind, but they also ~definitely~ have a reputation for needing a lot of personal space. This little phone accessory is the perfect joking-but-also-a-little-serious gift.
Type 6
Loyal, perceptive and security conscious, Type 6s on the Enneagram have a driving need to feel safe which can often lead to them being overly suspicious basically any new thing. Type 6s have their heads on a swivel but they’ll always look out for the people they care about. 6s could always use a dose of positivity to offset their natural skepticism, which means that anything that helps them boost healthy habits or remind them of the things they love can make the perfect gift.
Type 6s tend to prefer to bounce around between thoughts rather than following them one at a time. They usually prefer to pick up and put down tasks at a seemingly random rate that would send a few more linear types into conniptions if they were to ever witness it. A notepad like this will help the Type 6 in your life keep track of all the things they can’t be bothered to remember and make everyone’s life a little better.
This deck of cards with different meditations to do before bed will be a game changer for any Type 6 who spends their evenings thinking about everything they have to do the next day and whether someone they spoke to two weeks ago is mad at them.
Type 7
An Enneagram Type 7 at rest is a rare thing to see as this type usually spends their time chasing freedom, happiness, and fun. The best thing you can offer a 7 is either a dose of excitement, like the promise of an experience sometime in the future or a new game they’ve had their eye on, or an opportunity to rest, which they badly need even if they won’t admit it.
This innovation broke the Internet when it first came out, offering users the relief of actually putting their phones to bed when they’re ready to turn in for the night. 7s are one of the worst types for endlessly scrolling and catching the fear of missing out, so a fun and cute way to pursue a little mindfulness might be the perfect gift.
Because Type 7s spend so much time getting excited about their next project or outing or pursuit, it can become easy for them to forget about or discount the amazing experiences they’ve already had. Make it easier than ever for your “never a dull moment” friend to bask in the good times with these beautiful photo string lights.
Type 8
Known as The Challenger, Type 8s never back down from a fight. They’re bold, outspoken, charismatic and often have a passion for justice. These types tend to dominate at any game you can come up with, making a fun new board (or drinking!) game the perfect addition to their collection.
“People who love to argue” might as well be the official description of Enneagram Type 8s; they’ll love the chance to be the devil’s advocate in an environment that encourages it and allows them to have fun.
8s love to be direct and tackle their problems head on; a fun list like this one will only help them on their quest.
Type 9
Type 9s are the mediators of the Enneagram; they tend to be empathic, understanding, and great listeners. Self-care will always be a struggle for the majority of Type 9s as they have a tendency to give too much to others who ask for things from them. The best gift for a Type 9 is an excuse to hole up somewhere and restore themselves so think “comfort and good vibes” when shopping for one.
Sometimes Type 9s might need a reminder that their most important relationship is the one they have with themselves. A fun, no-pressure way to explore more of their own likes, dislikes and opinions and track the way they grow and evolve could be a great gift to give.
A salt lamp can really help increase the energy in a room, making it more comfortable and soothing; this lamp makes a great addition to any 9’s inner sanctum.
We all know that it’s easier to buy a gift for someone the more you know about them; using a person’s Enneagram type as a guide to gift-giving can show us new needs or passions in their lives we might not have thought of. Whether your friend is an outgoing Type 8, a reclusive Type 5 or a caring Type 2, something on this list is sure to delight them in this season of giving.
The holidays look different for each of us this year. Whether you’re unable to make it home for a normal celebration or you’ve been cooped up with your family for months, this holiday season is likely to be one with more tension and stress than normal. As much as our families and loved ones can be a source of comfort, support and love in this difficult year, it’s also crucial to remember what you owe to yourself, tending to your own needs and making space for your boundaries. Your Enneagram type can help you know what needs and stressors you should look out for this holiday season; while one type might need to check in more often with their loved ones, another type might need to affirm that alone time is healthy. The holidays are a time for community and family, but it’s never more important to honor yourself and your own needs. Here’s how to take care of yourself based on your Enneagram type.
If you’re unsure of your Enneagram type, you can take the free test here. To learn more about each type, read our breakdown here .
Type 1: The Reformer
As a Type 1 on the Enneagram, you’re devoted to doing things right, no matter the cost to yourself. People often rely on you as a source of consistency and order; those traits will be especially appreciated this year. Be aware that the lack of control you’re feeling about the world at large might manifest itself in even small things this holiday season and be gracious with yourself and others when little things don’t go according to plan. Things will not be perfect and normal this year, and it’s not your responsibility to make them so! Try to view setbacks in their proper proportion and remind yourself that the important things, like your loved ones and anything else you’re thankful for, are far more important than the entrée being out exactly on time or the Zoom call functioning with no lags. Things don’t have to be perfect to be valuable, and that’s a big lesson this year has held for us all.
Type 2: The Helper
More than any other Enneagram Type, 2s can feel called on or expected to pitch in, cover the gaps, and make sure everything is handled during the holidays. 2s often feel responsible for others’ emotions, which can be especially hazardous at such a high-intensity time. Manage your expectations for yourself; everyone is stressed and emotional this year, and some of it is for cosmic reasons you didn’t cause and can’t be expected to fix. Manage your expectations for others as well; some traditions might not look the same this year, and your loved ones might not be as available as other years. When you need something, make sure to give it to yourself, whether it’s five minutes to take a breath or asking for help. Remember that it doesn’t make you a bad person if you aren’t able to be there for everyone at the capacity you’re used to; you deserve rest as much as anyone else.
Type 3: The Achiever
Type 3s are incredibly adept at putting their best, most impressive foot forward in any situation. You can become so used to shifting and appearing successful that you can do it even around the people who love you the most. Time with your loved ones is an opportunity that you might not be taking advantage of; it’s an opportunity to feel loved and supported regardless of your accomplishments or appearance. What if you spent this holiday season soaking up the love and respect that exist naturally for you in this space without you having to earn it? Reflect on what it means to you, and see what it feels like to rely on this love and support a little more.
Type 4: The Romantic
You’re used to living life with your emotions on the surface, remaining deeply connected to your inner self at all times. This year, this trait might leave you vulnerable to a lot of free-flying stress and emotional overflow from other people. The deeper issues you have with the people around you stay more on your mind than they do for other Enneagram types, which can make it hard to compartmentalize minor tensions now from your longer-term, deeper conflicts with others. Try to remember this and give yourself ample time and space to react to obstacles; try to give those around you the benefit of the doubt when you can and give yourself permission to disengage when you can’t.
Type 5: The Investigator
This holiday might feel overwhelming for you because Enneagram Type 5s tend to have bigger, less flexible boundaries than other types; take the space you need but don’t shy away from the connections you can handle that will make your life better. Challenge yourself to tell the people in your life why you’re thankful for them, even if you’re scared it will leave you depleted. Emotional connections are important and taking the initiative might make you feel more in control and help show you that you don’t need to be so self-protective at all times. If you do find yourself needing space or time alone, make it clear to those around you that it’s not personal, just something you need to be your best self.
Type 6: The Loyalist
Type 6s always have their heads on a swivel, seeing potential bumps in the road miles before they happen. You know your loved ones and your holiday routines well; use this knowledge to think about potential stressors and make your peace with them ahead of time, making a plan if necessary. If you know you’re likely to have specific tensions with certain people, visualize a scenario with a positive outcome, like calmly changing the subject or breaking away from the situation before it escalates. Communication is key. Don’t get caught up in your head about what others expect or think of you; just ask!
Type 7: The Enthusiast
Your tendency as an Enneagram Type 7 is to speed through the parts of life that don’t enthrall you but this year has taught us more than most to appreciate time with loved ones for the gift that it is. See what you can value about the mundane this year. When there are quiet moments, spend a second reflecting on how special it is to hold them close instead of rushing on to the next topic or activity. See if these memories hold value even when they’re not exciting or novel, and reflect on what they mean to you.
Type 8: The Challenger
Have grace for others and practice empathy for yourself; people are stressed and tired and might make mistakes, and for once you might not need to hold them to your normal rigorous standards. Enneagram Type 8s are known for being blunt and honest but this year might be a time to practice holding your tongue if you notice that those around you seem more fragile or tired than normal. Use your innate protective instinct to watch out for your loved ones; your strength is always a gift but might be even more appreciated than usual this year.
Type 9: The Peacemaker
The holidays can be especially stressful for the mediators of the Enneagram; Type 9s are constantly finding themselves at the cool center of disagreements and conflicts year round, and the holidays can escalate this dynamic. People might try to make you responsible for their feelings, for settling arguments, or for listening to their grievances, but know that you never are. 9s can have a hard time exerting boundaries if there’s any risk of conflict and they’re also good at masking their negative emotions, making them extremely vulnerable at a time when everyone could use a good listener. It has never been more crucial to protect yourself; enforce your boundaries, even if this is sometimes awkward or not fully understood by your loved ones. You’re worth it.
No matter what your holiday looks like this year, there are bound to be factors that might trip up your weak spots, as well as ones that call to your strengths. Whether you’re calling in to a remote celebration, gathering with your household, celebrating alone this year or coping with setbacks or tragedy, this year will doubtless demand more of us than in the past. But the spirit of the holidays, the sense of gratitude and the appreciation for families, both blood and found, are things we need now more than ever. The year might demand more of us but there is a reward for rising to the challenge, working together and playing to our strengths; the Enneagram can be a great guiding tool for finding our way. I hope that wherever you find yourself this holiday, you’re able to make the best it can be and appreciate the strength within.
