How Giving Back Lights Us Up – A Conversation with Torch’d Creator and Fitness Guru Isaac Boots

How Giving Back Lights Us Up - A Conversation with Torch'd Creator and Celebrity Trainer Isaac Boots

Born and raised in Hawaii, Isaac is a celebrity trainer, choreographer and Broadway dancer with a long list of credits to his name. While using his experience crafting routines on the main stages of the pop music world and training artists to sculpt their bodies in preparation for their demanding projects, Isaac created TORCH’D, a sustainable workout that burns fat, builds stamina and achieves visible results. Celebrities such as KELLY RIPA, VANESSA HUDGENS, LISA RINNA, JESSICA CHASTAIN, GWYNETH PALTROW, NAOMI WATTS, FAYE DUNAWAY, and LUCY LIU are just a few longtime devotees of TORCH’D and are never hesitant to give Isaac credit for their superb form and increased energy. In March of 2020, as a result of the pandemic lockdown, Isaac offered his TORCH’D classes everyday for free for the first time on Instagram (@isaacboots) and in just a short time Isaac’s workouts became one of the most followed fitness classes around the world. Not wanting to charge a fee for access to the classes during the pandemic, Isaac instead asked his followers to donate what they could to No Kid Hungry, the charity known for providing millions of meals to kids in need. The request was heartfelt and personal. Isaac, from extremely modest means, grew up on food stamps and was challenged by the stigma associated with it. Astonishingly, after just seven months, Isaac’s effort raised over $1 million for No Kid Hungry, thereby making him the single, largest, individual fundraiser in the organization’s history.

This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s February 24th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Isaac Boots. It has been edited for length and clarity.

According to a 2006 study, the National Institutes of Health found that “when people give to charities, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow” effect”. To put it simply, giving back makes you happy! This phenomena is especially exemplified in our guest Isaac Boots. He radiates warmth and generosity, and uses his platform raise awareness and funds for amazing causes. The butterfly effect was aptly mentioned in this interview, and that’s the perfect way to describe Isaac’s contributions to the world! Take any of his high-energy, crazy-fun workout classes, and you won’t be able resist forking over cash to one of the charities Isaac is so passionate about. Endorphins + giving = pure happiness. In the past two years, Isaac has helped raise $2 million for No Kid Hungry, and it’s easy to see why. We hope you enjoy this interview and getting to know the human butterfly that is Isaac!


Carrie Ann: A lot of people think oh, working out is too much for me to do, I can’t do it. How do we stop the excuses?

Isaac Boots: Everyone has at least a few minutes a day. Period. Do a little bit. What we just did for 10 minutes, it’s not that much, but it’s effective. It works. If you do it every day, you see results and you feel results. That’s why I wanted to create something that had no excuses. You can do it anywhere. And just because I offer a 45 minute workout, that doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself and do the whole thing. Do a little bit. Take a break and come back.

Carrie Ann: You’re at The Colony Hotel in Palm Beach doing Torch’d workouts in person. How’s that going? (This interview is from Feb. 24th, 2022. Check Isaac’s website for his updated schedule)

Isaac Boots: It’s going crazy. It’s a really, really beautiful community here. A lot of my people from New York and the Hamptons have a house here – they’re here in the winter. So it’s kind of cool. It’s packed. I just did a collaboration with Michael Kors, who came down and did a fashion show. We raised a lot of money for Childhood USA, which helps stop child sex trafficking. It’s a real problem and a real thing. So, Michael and I raised about 50k for that the other day, and it’s been great.

Carrie Ann: I’m so proud of you. This is what’s so spectacular about you. First of all, I’m a fan. When everybody went into lockdown, and everyone was lost and didn’t know where to go – and this goes back to what you were just saying about being able to do Torch’d anywhere – YOU KEPT GOING. You did Torch’d from Instagram, for free. Which, by the way, for all of you who don’t know, you can do any of these workouts – he’s got millions of them and they’re all fantastic. Not only did you keep going by doing your Torch’d workouts, but you encouraged people to donate to No Kid Hungry. And now you’re raising money for Childhood USA.

Isaac Boots: Yes, it’s cool because it was founded by Her Majesty Queen Silvia of Sweden, and it’s actually World Childhood Foundation. The US faction is Childhood USA. I don’t know if anybody knows, but the numbers and rates of child sex trafficking have tripled in the past few years in the US. In every neighborhood, even affluent neighborhoods. It’s in your backyard, and it’s children. So in the last few years we’ve raised nearly $2 million for hungry kids, and now I feel I need to protect them. That’s a real issue, and has been a real passion.

Carrie Ann: Where does that passion come from? You’ve raised nearly $2 million for No Kid Hungry and now you’re going to probably raise more for Childhood USA, because I just know how passionate you are. Where does all this passion come from?

Isaac Boots: I think there’s something to be said for growing up in Hawaii. There’s a sense of community, there’s a sense of giving back. There’s a sense of being grateful for what you eat, for what you take, for what you fish. I had a really tough childhood, I grew up really, really poor. My grandmother was a real big source of light, she was like, the most magnificent Hawaiian mama that everybody just loved. She taught me that you have to have gratitude, and the way to really have it is to be aware of the underdog. And there’s nothing more innocent than a child. And particularly with this new initiative, I think it’s uncomfortable for people to talk about. But people need to talk about it, because it’s not happening somewhere else, it’s actually here. So my husband Jeffrey and I are co-chairs of the Childhood USA Gala, which is happening in May. We’re honoring Ricky Martin, actually, because he’s done a lot of work for this. So raising awareness, raising coins, and finding tactics to really fight it. People can also go to childhood-usa.org to learn more.

Carrie Ann: Everybody go check that out! You know, you were talking briefly about Ohana, that spirit from Hawaii that we both have. When you grow up in Hawaii, there’s a sense of community and it’s not separate from yourself. It’s a part of you. We believe that all things are connected. In this series, Carrie Ann Conversations: Journey to Wellness, we often talk about wellness and how the first step is being aware. You were just mentioning awareness about what’s going on in the world, even though some of us want to turn a blind eye because we don’t have time or whatever it is. But we have to be aware of what’s happening in our own backyard in order for us to heal. The world needs healing.

Isaac Boots: Yeah, you know I’m thinking of what’s going on in the Ukraine now every second. You feel a sense of helplessness, like what do I do? How can I help? I just think that it’s the little actions, it’s talking about it, it’s voting, it’s showing up. Making your voice heard. You may feel like you’re powerless, but it’s not true. It’s not true. We all have the capacity to make change, even if it’s in small, small ways. You know, I read something by Ruth Rosenberg, who is my Kabbalah teacher. She posted something on Instagram and all it said was “let someone go in front of you in the line at the grocery store”. I just thought that was so profound. It seems so simple, but it’s those little things. It’s like a butterfly effect for how you treat yourself and how you talk to other people.

Carrie Ann: Because other people in this world are an extension of you, aren’t they? Some people feel that wellness is a luxury for those who have more money, or have more time or freedom. But the truth is, as you so beautifully pointed out, that you can do good in this world just within your little sphere. I think that when you do good like that, you then feel a little bit bigger and brighter. You’re that ripple, and it keeps going. And your ripple, my friend, has been one of the most beautiful things that I’ve experienced during this pandemic. Whenever I felt lost, I want you to know that I watched you. I was just thinking about the time you did the live with Kelly Ripa and she was sliding all over the floor, and she had Mark set up the lights, and it all just went so terribly. Like quote unquote wrong, but it was the most beautiful thing to me! It was so uplifting, and you raised so much money!

Isaac Boots: I think you can attest to this because you’re good friends with her as well, but Kelly Ripa is like the most down to earth, most real girl. Those are the kinds of people that you want to surround yourself with, and encourage other people to be like. Just go with the flow, be vulnerable, be ridiculous, and take time out of your day to do something good. Something outside of yourself. We can all get caught up, especially in this industry. How are my numbers, how can I get more, I need a contract, I need a new deal. Why did he get that and why didn’t I? It’s a mess. It’s noise. It doesn’t matter. You’re going to get what you’re meant to get anyway. So I always say I don’t have competition, and I don’t say that arrogantly. I don’t have competition because I cannot compete, and no one else can be me. There’s room for everyone to succeed. Janet Jackson is a queen. And that didn’t take away from Madonna. And that didn’t take away from Mariah. They were all queens. Rihanna, Gaga, Beyonce, they’re all different and they’re all amazing. So when you get caught up in that, which a lot of people do, it’s all a lie anyway. It’s an illusion.

Carrie Ann: I’ve watched your fame, and your star has grown very quickly and very brightly – which is well deserved. But, I was wondering if you ever feel pressure? How have you dealt with it? Are you able to just have that thought in your head at all times, or do you slip every once in a while? And when you do, how do you pull it back? I think all people slip once in a while.

Isaac Boots: Yeah, that’s a great question. I have a daily practice of reminding myself of what’s important, and what’s really helped me is to always have the main purpose of my day be whatever charitable initiative I’m working on. It is like 100%, it’s in every conversation, in every email. Then it takes it out of just the desire to receive for myself alone, and I actually tend to magnetize more than you can imagine. When I get caught up in the noise of what other people say around me, I catch myself quick, and I just smile. And I say it is what it is. You know, that’s meant for her, that’s meant for him, and that’s amazing. I am where I am for a reason, and I feel lucky and fortunate to be. That’s the real wellness, that self-talk.

Carrie Ann: Yes, during the course of this whole series, not one of my guests has not mentioned self-talk. Negative self-talk is the poison that we must avoid. It can come from so many different directions and it affects the way we think about ourselves. I’m fascinated by the fact that the way that you’re able to help your self-talk stay positive is through the contribution aspect of life. I thought for sure it might be the physical aspect, because I know that you helped a lot of us get into our physical bodies during lockdown. But I love that your motivation is even deeper than that. I do believe that contribution and taking care of others is one of the most important things in life.

Isaac Boots: That’s why I showed up. When I do a workout, I’m putting in the action that hopefully results in someone donating to the link in my bio. That’s 30 minutes of my time, of keeping my body together, that can help a kid. When I was a kid, $5 was a lot. And now thankfully it isn’t. But I remember him.

Carrie Ann: He’s mentioning $5 because when this started he would be telling us all “It’s just $5! It’s a coffee! You can do it!” during the workouts. And you know what? I watched those numbers grow, and I saw people that maybe didn’t think of themselves as somebody who could contribute in that way do it. And in turn, you gave them the gift of the self-esteem that comes along with giving back.

Isaac Boots: And, just to go back to the physical part, as a dancer and a performer…I have to move. So I don’t think of it as working out, it’s just going back to the studio and keeping it tight. But there are so many people that didn’t work out before, or never worked out a day in their life, that started with Torch’d. Maybe they were embarrassed to go to a gym, or embarrassed to go to class. But now they were home and just sort of able to partake and have a laugh. These people have changed their bodies physically too, which to me is a perk. That’s the cherry on top. The real reward is that they’ve changed their self-talk to something more positive.

Carrie Ann: I just want to talk really quickly about your background. There’s so many people that follow you that are from the dance world. I think dancers, as I think most human beings are, are incredible. And they’re not really fully recognized for their beauty and their talent. From your career as a dancer, what is it that you think you learned as a dancer to help you to get to where you are now?

Isaac Boots: Well, first of all, you were a huge inspiration for me as a kid. Madonna, to me as a child, was very important for many reasons. She was the first person to really be a champion for people like me. I was born in ’80, so people were not really talking about being gay. I grew up in a very conservative Catholic home, but Madonna was talking about all these issues, and she was glamorous and fabulous. I couldn’t afford dance class though, so I learned how to dance, really, from watching her videos over and over again. When you did The Girlie Show in ‘93, I was 12 and I remember learning that a fellow Hawaiian was dancing with the queen. I was like, oh my god, this can happen. It was transformative for me, because as you know, being in Hawaii felt very isolating, particularly at that time. Especially if you didn’t have any money, it was like, well, good luck. And to see you up there, it was on HBO I’ll never forget, opening the show, I was like, oh my God, she’s amazing.

How Giving Back Lights Us Up - A Conversation with Torch'd Creator and Celebrity Trainer Isaac Boots | CARRIE ANN CONVERSATIONS
Carrie Ann with Madonna and dancers from The Girlie Show, 1993. Click here to purchase the full concert video on Amazon.

Carrie Ann: That was an amazing job for me too, because I got to work with my idol. Thank you for saying that, it touches me to know that. It baffles my brain to know that I have had a little bit of an effect on your life. I watch you and I’m so impressed with you all the time. But in the same way maybe this Hawaiian girl gave you a little hope to pursue your dreams, you are giving so many people hope. People of all different classes, colors, creeds, genders. I think you represent so many people, and are inspiring so many people. As a fellow sister from Hawaii, I just want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all that you’ve done. You are a spectacular human being, I love you so much.

For the full interview with Isaac, click here!


We hope that something in this interview resonates with you, and would love to hear about it in the comments below! For everyone who wants to know more about Isaac, you can follow him on Instagram or visit his website. And if you’re in the mood for a sweat session, all of his free Torch’d classes are on Instagram! If you’re in Florida and would like to take a class in person, he’s currently at The Colony Hotel in Palm Beach and anyone can sign up for classes! Go to isaacboots.com for more information and to book.

If you want to get involved in his initiative to end child sex trafficking, go to childhood-usa.org.  

For more information on Torch’d and how to get involved in Isaac’s latest charitable project, Childhood USA, follow the links below:

Instagram: @isaacboots

Torch’d

Childhood-usa.org

Torch’d @ The Colony Hotel

Getting to the Core of It – Simple Core Exercises with Personal Trainer Michelle Lovitt

Michelle is the author of Exercise For Your Muscle Type: the Smart Way to Get Fit and creator of Prevention Magazine’s ULTIMATE FLAT BELLY DVD series. She currently runs Lovitfitness, a Beverly Hills based training company that is known for getting clients in remarkable shape. Her background in Exercise Physiology is why her methodology and results reside in heart rate based training. Michelle’s signature training method, Train Smarter Not Harder, gives her clients educational tools that help them understand their bodies, lose body fat, get stronger, stay motivated and enjoy a better quality of life. She has a loyal following and a reputation for getting her clients in remarkable shape.

What is your core? Why do fitness gurus everywhere seem to sing the benefits of core exercises? Well, turns out it’s a pretty important part of your body and fitness journey! Your core can affect everything from your posture to your flexibility. Focusing on building back my core transformed my own body, and I want to share everything I learned from my personal trainer, Michelle Lovitt, with you. Find out which muscles comprise the core, why they’re vital to our overall physical fitness, and the at home exercises you can do to build up those muscles. I’ve learned so much from Michelle, and I hope these tips kickstart your own learning process with what works for your body. Without further ado, here’s my conversation with personal trainer to the stars, Michelle Lovitt.

This is an excerpt from my Instagram Live conversation with Michelle Lovitt on Feb. 3, 2022. It has been edited for length and clarity. For our full conversation, click here.


Carrie Ann: One of the greatest things Michelle taught me was to reconnect to my core. As somebody who had been working out her whole life – I was a dancer, I was fit my whole life, and then was not fit – I was trying to find my way back. Working with Michelle these past few years has been tremendously helpful, but we didn’t have a huge breakthrough until we realized I wasn’t using my core properly. But we didn’t really have the huge breakthrough until we rediscovered my core as a dancer.

The way I used my core was so second nature to me that I never had to think about it. But the way I was used my core wasn’t giving me the desired results. So why is the core such an essential thing? Why suddenly did we see such huge breakthroughs with me and my body and my shape (I went from a size 10 to a size 6)?

Michelle Lovitt: Well, I think everything from a dancer’s perspective is about extension. And everything about an athlete’s perspective is about performance and power. If they don’t have a strong base, they can’t bring any power from the ground up – your power starts with your trunk. And the misnomer with core is when you ask what it is, people will say, “oh, it’s my abs”. Wrong! Core is actually your abdominal muscles, your lower back muscles, and your hips in all four directions. If you have a weak core, your ability to stand and be stable is compromised. So if you want to start a workout program, starting from the ground up is the way to go. I would start with your core first, meaning do exercises to engage your abs, your lower back, and all four planes of your hips. And if you only have five minutes, then you do it every day for five minutes, or every other day for five minutes. You’ll start to get a stronger core, you’ll start to feel more centered, more balanced, and more capable of doing a workout.

Carrie Ann: Okay, so let’s show them what you’re talking about!

Michelle Lovitt: I think we should start with a bridge because I think everybody can do it right whether they’re on the ground or they’re in a chair. Let’s show them how to activate their abs by pushing them into the ground. So contract your abs like somebody is going to walk up and drop a medicine ball on your stomach. You have to contract them really hard and push a little back into the mat, and then you can lift and lower as you breathe. Don’t forget to breathe. When you do core, a lot of people like to hold their breath and that’s not good for your heart. So now Carrie Ann is going into her bridge position, which basically you just lay on your backside, and then you tuck your feet back to work your glutes, keep your weight in your heels, and get your butt up off the ground. If you can get your lower back off the ground, great. If it bothers your lower back, then put a block or your hands underneath just to give you some support. But which she is strengthening his her glute muscle, hamstrings, and abdominal muscles. So doing a bridge gets 3 out of the 7 things of core addressed. That’s one of the greatest exercises to do, I love bridge.

Carrie Ann: For everyone at home, is it better to just drop down or roll down?

Michelle Lovitt: When you come down after holding your spine in a fixed position, make sure you go down just as slowly as you go up. You don’t want to go up and jam your way up either. So when you go up, it’s a slow and controlled motion up. Then after you hold it, roll down and then pause for a second. Some people may even need to roll around a little bit just because their low back has been used for that 30 seconds. And then if you want to add your inner thighs to this move, you can grab a ball, a block, or anything, you just squeeze your knees together. You’re bringing in your adductors, or your inner thigh muscles, which are also part of your core. I usually like to hold the bridge for anywhere from 10 seconds to a minute. And I always have my clients do pulses with their knees toward the block or the ball just to get the inner thighs to fire up a little bit. And then when you come down, remove the block first, and then roll down one vertebrae at a time.

And then because you were able to address your glutes, your hamstrings and your inner thigh, I think a really fun one to do would be going into a bird dog. If you want to do a modified version of a bird dog, you can do it against the wall, or you can do it flat on the ground. You don’t have to be in an elevated tabletop position like Carrie Ann. We’re going to start with one foot, and then we’re going to add the opposite limb. So she has her left leg up and her right arm extended. You want to think about one line of energy coming through your fingertips, through the tip of your toes, as you squeeze your abs, lower back, and glutes. You’re already strengthening your core so much in this position. From here, contract your right elbow to your left knee, pulling your bellybutton up into your spine.

To engage the proper muscles, you want to make sure that your hips are level. And as she does this, I should be able to balance a teacup on her back while she’s extending. If she isn’t extending or she’s in a twisted position, the tea cup would fall. And then you want to switch sides. Sometimes these challenge your balance a little bit but if you fall you won’t go very far. So embrace the wobble. Remember everybody is where they are fitness wise until they’re not. It takes a few seconds to just get going and start the journey.

Carrie Ann: Okay, now we’re going to do my favorite exercise. If you guys have a band that you can attach somewhere, you can do this. What are these called, Michelle?

Michelle Lovitt: These are the “whittle the middles”! But first, make sure your band is secure! Carrie Ann is twisting against a band with quite a bit of tension. She’s leading with her hips and following with her arms which engages her lower abdominal muscles, her triceps, and we’re trying to get into the obliques so that we create that hourglass shape where you have that nice little whittled middle.

Carrie Ann: What about this option?

Michelle Lovitt: That’s a great one. To engage that lower part of her abs, Carrie Ann is going to grab the band, and push and pull outwards, starting from the center of her torso. We are creating core stability with this band.


And there you have it! As you can see, even the simplest of moves can help to strengthen and stabilize your core. Core strength is associated with better posture, balance, flexibility, and helps to eliminate back pain. All of these moves can be done at home – no personal trainer needed! If you’re interested in hearing more from Michelle, you can check out articles she has contributed to here. Our full Instagram Live video is up on my instagram pages, @carrieanninaba @carrieannconversations, if you would like to see our full conversation and live demonstration. Be kind and stay well!

For more information on Michelle and her training techniques, follow the links below:

michellelovitt.com

Instagram Accounts:

@mllovitt

@lovitfitness

Her book – Exercise Your Muscle Type


Autoimmune Warriors: Choreographer Marinda Davis Talks to Carrie Ann Inaba About Gratitude, Compassion, and Living Her Best Life with Eight Life-Threatening Illnesses

Watch the Video Interview Above

Read the Transcript of the Interview Below

Marinda: Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see your beautiful face.

Carrie Ann: Oh my God, it’s so good to see her. I got to turn the volume up. Hold on cause I can’t hear you. There we go. And then now we have to reframe because we’re all framed differently than we were just a little while ago. And both of us, you know, we’re perfectionist so I know both of us like wait, that’s not the framing. I just had.

Marinda: We’re sisters and many things. One of them being Capricorns,

Carrie Ann: which means Type A

Marinda: It’s so it’s good to see you. It’s so good to see you. My mood has lifted times a thousand. Just seeing your face. Me too. I love you so much.

Carrie Ann: Let me just tell everybody a little bit about you. For those who don’t know, this incredible human being that I’m sitting across from in this virtual world or actually maybe not so far in reality, if you really think about it energetically, we might not be so far. Marinda Davis is an incredibly talented choreographer.

And yesterday I talked about how she choreographed and so you think you can dance and I was wrong. Hopefully everyone who knows me well, maybe we got some. So you think you can dance people coming in to check you out because actually she’s worked on, I met her on dancing with the stars. She choreographed an incredible number on Julianne half, which you all remember. It was that number where Julianne was diagnosed and it was sort of horrendous. It was like your dream, right? Was incredible. But more importantly, what you did on the world of dance season two was amazing. So if you guys haven’t seen it, you have to check it out. She’s a brilliant, award-winning, poignant, powerful emotional driven choreographer who has a lot to say and it’s important messages. But more importantly, she was featured on the CW show called My Last Days.

There was a docu-series and beyond being an incredible choreographer, this series that she did is from the point of view of courageous people living with a terminal illness. Yes. So this dear, lovely human being across from me has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and we wanted to talk about what it’s like to go through this pandemic with the conditions that we have. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about your condition so people can know, you know, all the autoimmune warriors will know what we’re talking about as soon as we get into it.

Marinda: Sure. So I’m going to try to do them off the top of my head. I have eight different conditions. Most of them are autoimmune. One is genetic, the genetic diseases, vascular Ehlers-Danlos, which is what kind of qualifies me as terminal.

It’s a disease that affects the collagen in your body. So essentially everything in your body is held together by collagen. So really at any moment, any of your organs could fall apart from not having the college and to hold them together. So that’s what makes that disease so dangerous. I also have lupus, Sjogren’s yes. Both of those Hashimoto’s, pots, mastocytosis inappropriate sinus tachycardia, and Cushing’s and started to know yes. Dysautonomia pots is, is the kind of the, okay, look at you. I’m a Capricorn. What were you expecting? So you did the research. Even with brain fog, I can still pull it. So I am impressed.

Carrie Ann: So how are you doing with all of this? I mean, and also recently you had surgery, right?

Marina: I did have surgery.

Carrie Ann: How are you doing?

Marinda: You know, I from lupus I went through three years of chemotherapy and I’m still on quite a bit of very dangerous drugs that have a lot of dangerous side effects. And because of that it did some significant damage to my intestines in my colon. So I had to have surgery to kind of correct that damage. And it oddly coincided with, with kind of the beginning of quarantine. So you know, this, you and I, if there’s even a suggestion of somewhere we need to be, we will figure out a way to be there and fight our way their crawling. So the fact that it was kind of a lucky in this weird way that quarantine coincided with the path of my healing because we didn’t have anywhere to be, cause we couldn’t be anywhere. So for once I, I actually followed directions and I healed on time, which I’m very grateful for. It was definitely a rough recovery.

Carrie Ann: I’m glad you’re better now. So you actually brought this to me. You reached out and said you should do an Instagram live where we talk about what it’s like to go through this with autoimmune conditions. And I do think that this time has been especially challenging. It’s especially challenging for everybody in their own unique way. But we can talk a little bit more about sort of the insider’s point of view of having autoimmune conditions and yeah. What, what’s it been like for you, first of all, how many days have you been isolated? Are you isolated and, yeah.

Marinda: So when I say this has been one of the most difficult times in my life. I’m certainly not one to gloss over the struggle cause I don’t think that services anyone. Right. and you know a lot about my life story. So for me to label it as one of the most difficult times is, is significant. And I think it’s been difficult for all the reasons that it’s been difficult for every single person going through this. But I think kind of heightened for certain reasons. One, being that because I had surgery, I was quarantining a little before everybody else, two because we’re immunocompromised and have underlying conditions. You know, our, our rules are very similar to the elderly, right? Like we can’t be anywhere near each other. So we have these very strict guidelines from our doctors. The third is I’ve been doing this alone. I live alone and you know, that’s tremendously hard. I’ve been doing it for give or take 80 days with minimal to no human contact. So and I also experienced a death of someone that I love that wasn’t COVID related, but trying to wade through that grief and, and process that on your own without like that traditional way of healing and, and celebrating a life with other people has been difficult. Yeah.

Carrie Ann: And the service or seeing all the people yes. Sharing the lost together.

Marinda: It’s been a new experience. And I know that’s been an experience for a lot of people through this. You know, you wouldn’t die. And all the autoimmune warriors know what it’s like to to be stopped. This is not unfamiliar to us in any way. On some level we’ve done this as experts. Don’t you feel like we are, we really are. I wish we weren’t, but we are. You know, and that’s the perspective I’ve been trying to inject into a lot of people. A lot of, a lot of people have texted me and just been like, how do you deal with this? Cause so many people are experiencing a loss of control for the first time. And also just, just that abrupt stop that we constantly feel. So I’ve been trying to say, imagine what it’s like when you, the only one stopped. Right? And everybody else is still going. That’s what we get a lot. Right?

Carrie Ann: And then we’re like watching the world go by and we’re like, ah, the in bed flare day.

Marinda: Yeah, we’ve got a red light and everybody else is like in the fast lane, it’s the worst. So we’re lucky. I use that term loosely, that we get to experience this collectively. You know, I’ve seen so many resources pop up, right? Whether it’s financial or mental or emotional resources or just like the ability to beam in now. Like now you can be a mental work, you can beam into events and I think like how beautiful would that have been like a year ago when you were, I couldn’t physically get to work or couldn’t physically get to an event. You know, there’s power in numbers, so everybody’s experiencing this and, and people are figuring it out. I just hope that when this is over and normal people, and I mean that by helping people get to go back into the world. And maybe for us, it’s later. I hope these sort of resources and accessibility stay present so that people like us can, can still take advantage of those and still be present even if we can’t physically get there.

Carrie Ann: Yeah, no, I think that’s so powerful. And I think what it’s doing is it’s making the world for those who have not experienced being immunocompromised or the things that, you know, anybody who’s going through some sort of health journey and there are sort of sequestered at home if they haven’t experienced that, I think people are now going to be a lot more compassionate. There’s an opportunity here for more compassion towards people who are struggling or feeling isolated. Because I think what’s fascinating about this situation is that we are all now understanding what it’s like to be totally alone in a weird way, like isolated, even if you’re with your family. Cause, even when you’re with some people, are sequestered with their families, right? That’s a whole different journey. And they could do a whole secret, I’m sure a whole series that we can do one about being sequestered alone and what that’s like. But everyone is going through an extremely challenging time. And that in that sense we’re all together because we’re all going through something that almost feels most days on half the days beyond my own ability. Yeah. And yet somehow we rise. So then it’s like, Oh, it’s overwhelming, but then I rise. Oh my God. That’s pretty incredible. There’s the hope. There’s the, there’s the faith. There’s this, you know, this wonderful feeling of like, Oh, and then back down. And that’s what it’s been for me. I, I’m, I feel just like this huge roller coaster. Has it been like that for you as well?

Marinda: Very much so. It’s up and down. It’s been quite a wide, I think. What’s kind of gotten me through it is, you know, there’s two easy, easy answers to that question. And the bigger one, I’d say like the easiest answer is sometimes I just hang onto my privilege, which is literally like I’m talking to you with a roof over my head. It’s an iPhone to you. So that’s so much. I mean, sometimes it’s all I can hang on to and that’s something to hang on to. And then there’s a quote that I love that goes, like I’ve, I’ve survived a hundred percent of my worst days so far. So sometimes I just think of like the darker days and I’m like, okay, I’m acknowledging my survival on that. And that’s powerful. But there’s been some moments, I don’t know about you, but like, they’ve just been so dark. And, and I definitely, and I’m sure you’re like this and all the warriors that are watching we’re, we’re equipped to have kind of that stamina and endurance to be in like the darkest cave, right? Metaphorically. And we will search like every crevice to find like this little flicker of light and we’ll hang on to that flicker of light for all it’s worth. And, but there have been days that I can’t find the flicker of light. And that’s to say, that’s just a metaphor for saying like, you can’t find the reason why something is happening, you know, and we’re, we’re human. So we want to understand that. So on those days this, this sentence keeps coming to me that I, that I kind of wrote down and it’s that there’s no greater illuminator to gratitude than loss. Right? correct. And that sentence has kind of been floating in my head through all the really tough days. And again, yeah, there’s no greater illuminator to gratitude than loss.

Carrie Ann: Yes, yes. Darkness to see light.

Marinda: Yes. And, and that’s just say, you know, there’s stuff in my life that tragedy, trauma, you know, that that’s so horrendous that I will never be able to find the reason for, or just like this pandemic. I think we’re upwards of 320,000 people who have passed away from it. We’ll never find the reason in that every one of those people was the center of somebody’s life. But you know, lost has, has informed who I am and the artists that I am so much. And I know that it’s informed a lot of who you are as well. And when you walk through your life with this heightened sense of gratitude of anything in anyone can be taken from you at any time. And that can sound depressing, but it’s not, it makes me hold on to everything. Like it’s the greatest gift. And you know, like the passion I have for what I do, I know it is overwhelming to a lot of people and some people can’t understand it, but it’s, it’s informed by knowing what it is to be without it.

Carrie Ann: If, yeah, no, it makes perfect sense. I also remember the last time we spoke, listen, before we shut down, I was in the process of creating a podcast and you came on as one of my guests. And it was such an amazing conversation. It was the first time we had met in person and it was so uplifting. I remember you said Oh gosh, and now, now my brain fog is hitting me full force. I just had a thought and it’ll get, yeah, it was about, we don’t have the luxury to not find a solution. I mean those, I’m paraphrasing, but that was as good as I could get with my brain. But it was like, because of the health conditions that I always believe are there in a, as everything is, is a gift. And it takes a while to figure out where the gift is. And some days you can see it and some days you can’t. And that’s all okay. I don’t think it’s meant to be an everyday gift. I think that’s also like as we’re talking about, you need the darkness to see the light at ying-yang. It’s all the things, balance, harmony, all the things that we talk about. Right. But you, I was so profoundly struck by you saying that, that cause like I consider myself somebody who always looks for the solution, always looks for the fix because I never thought you could do otherwise. And now once you said that, it was like, you made sense of so much of my life. Where did that come from for you? Like, I wanna understand like the thought process behind that. And because it’s, I think it’s so powerful and I think a lot of people will resonate with this, whether they have any illnesses or not.

Marinda: Right. I think in the sense that we don’t have control over our, our diagnoses. In many ways they control us. So it was finding what can we control, right? Like that is what keeps me sane every morning is I literally make a list in my head of, okay, what can I control today? Because having no control, it’s, it’s horrible, right? It’s a horrible feeling when you don’t have control. I mean, we have control over so little. So I think that process of, of how do I cope with something that I can’t fix? And you and I are fixers, right? So yeah, yeah. It was that process of like how, how do you deal with, with what you have, you know?

Carrie Ann: And that’s sort of, I would imagine as the catalyst of why we wanted to talk today because we’re used to the feeling of not being in control. And I feel that that is something that now a lot of people are facing. The grand illusion of control that we all thought we had. The truth is we’ve never really had that much control. What we do have control over, and it’s also being highlighted is sort of our own space, right? Because now everybody is sequestered in their own space. They have to stay in their own bubble. And what they do with their bubble outside of their own home affects other people, which is truly exactly what life on like a philosophical sense is. It’s like we are these beings and we’re just one and we’re totally independent and really all we have control over is our immediate surroundings. But also everything that we do can affect others like going out. If you’re asymptomatic right now during the pandemic, even if you don’t think you have it, and even if you’re not going to be affected by it, you could affect a whole community of people like that. And it’s, it’s fascinating that we’re getting this opportunity. And I don’t mean I don’t say that lightly. I know that we have lost so many lives. And I don’t mean it in that way. It’s just that the only way I can process and survive this is for my mind to try to find the positive. And so I’m not making light of anybody’s loss or anything like that, but the gift in it is that we get to sort of really understand what it is to be truly human. Again, we see emotional rollercoaster. We’re all experiencing all of our emotions on a daily basis nowadays,

Marinda: Right? I mean, there, there’s, this virus does not discriminate. I mean, it’s affecting everyone celebrity or not rich, poor, any race, you know any ethnicity. So we’re really experiencing something collectively as a world, not just our country as the world globally for the first time. So like you said, there’s so much opportunity for growth and, and compassion and hopefully, when, and if we go back to normal and whatever that new normal is, people can begin to walk through their lives with, with more appreciation and gratitude for the things of people that are around them. And, and more compassion for people that, that you know, don’t have an easy journey. You know.

Carrie Ann: I want to ask you if this is the case for you, but since we’ve been in the pandemic, how many days have we been in lockdown now? Like I can’t even count.

Marinda: I feel like it might be around 70.

Carrie Ann: Holy cow. Yeah. These numbers are crazy and now it almost, right. It feels like, I don’t know, it feels like, I don’t know. I’ve lost all sense of time every time on the talk. It’s funny because I do the introduction and I’m like, it’s this date and I’m, I get it wrong half the time because I, I’m so confused already at this point. And I think I don’t even get worried about it because I think everybody else is confused too. But yeah, during this time I have had a lot more flare-ups than normal. And I was wondering for me, I think it’s because there’s this constant cloud, the stress that’s always there and sometimes we’re dealing with it. Sometimes we’re not. But it’s like, it’s actually still right there attached to us at all times. This weight of uncertainty, the fear, the confusion. I mean the fear of tomorrow and like a lot of people are not working right now. A lot of people can barely put food on the table if they can at all. This uncertainty people have, people’s jobs that they used to have are not even there for them to go back to. It’s a terrible time. And I think we’re all worried about it. And even if you’re an empathetic person and it’s not happening to you, you’re feeling it. I feel that my body is constantly exhausted and I’m always just on the verge of a flare and if not in a flare, I’ve had pain all throughout this whole time. Yeah. What about you?

Marinda: Yeah, I’ve had a couple of really bad flares through this and I also feel like I feel the weight that you’re, you’re experiencing. You know, unfortunately, anxiety, you know, depression, emotion affects everything and it certainly exacerbates, it’s not the reason, but it exacerbates chronic illness and you know, it’s, it’s hard to come out from under that cloud when, when everyone’s experiencing it and you turn on the TV and you can’t ignore the reality of the situation, you know. So yeah, I’ve, I’ve found that I’ve had a lot of pain. I’m doing a lot more within the house. I’m really lucky that I have, you know, help sometimes and I can’t have those people here, so I’m doing things that I know will, will flare me for a week. But I have no choice.

Carrie Ann: It’s so true. Like we did a brief chat yesterday to kinda catch up and we were talking about how like, Oh my God, cause our hands, you know, hands hurt the rheumatoid arthritis, the weakness in the wrist. So that’s such a bummer. Cause then you’re getting things shipped from the house to the house because you can’t go to the grocery store and then it comes into big box and you’ve got to cut it. And you’ve got to carry it, but your hands don’t work, so you can’t really cut it. You can’t take it out. Oh my God. It’s like sometimes it’s so frustrating and then like you’re trying to do all the things and then you’re dropping everything cause you can’t, it’s like I just try to take my dish to the sink and it’s like a whole catastrophe. Yeah. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I laugh.

Marinda: Yeah. That’s a little of both. I mean I was, I was trying to make a recipe the other day and I couldn’t, I couldn’t open a jar of sauce and I just had to throw in the towel because I’m like, I can’t get this thing open cause my hands were so swollen.

Carrie Ann: I hear you. You know what I gotta send you this. I shop in like the senior citizen’s section of Amazon because basically when you have autoimmune conditions, all my doctors, it was like, you’re kind of like a 75-year-old. I’m like, yeah, that’s kind of how it feels. Like the pain and the things that I can do. And now the eyesight’s going, but there’s these, there’s, there’s a kit that I have to see the link for that has all these utensils that will help you open jars. Like what is this plastic mat thing that you can open any jar. And it’s definitely going to meet that. I’m going to send that to you. Okay. But what if, let’s see, what tips can you give like three of your best tips to stay out of like the full tumbling, spiraling depression?

Marinda: Yeah. I’d say my three tips would be kind of what I mentioned a second ago, is to even write it down. What can you control, right? What do you have control over today? What you eat while you drink, you know whether you meditate or not. You know, what, what can you control in your life? I do, but I only started meditating during this pandemic. So that is a gift that’s, that’s come out of this. Number two, I would say keep connecting with people, especially if you live alone. Nothing will compare to physical, human contact. Right? but face times, zoom text you know, find those connections with as many people as you can and people that don’t live alone, try to remember your friends that do live alone and check in on them. Right.

Carrie Ann: It matters when people do that. For me it’s like brightens my life, doesn’t it?

Marinda: Yes. Yes. Completely. And thirdly I would say you know, be kind to yourself just in the sense of if you’re having a day where all you can do is cry and eat popcorn on the couch and watch Grey’s Anatomy repeatedly I have to say, okay. You know if it’s, you know, you’re cleaning your whole house and, and that’s what makes you feel better. That’s okay too. If, if you’re angry, that’s okay. You know, basically just to say every emotion is okay during this. Nobody’s ever experienced anything like this and you know, it’s all okay.

Carrie Ann: Yeah. I loved your advice because that’s the write it down. I think writing it down is something that not everybody does. And I think that’s something like from your background of being an artist and an expressor, I like to call on this because we have to express all that stuff that’s going on inside it. That’s a great habit to get into that. I feel like a lot of people don’t really have access to. And to stay connected is so important. I mean, as dancers, we also know this. Anybody who’s been an athlete knows that we all exchange energy. So like, you know, when you’re running next to somebody, you could feel their energy dancing next to somebody, you know, they’re forward or backward. Like without looking, you can feel it. You know, all humans have these abilities. They’re just not as finely tuned as people that have been in physical professions. You know, and we’ve had to sort of learn these, develop these skill sets. And I just feel like people now with all this alone time and all or all the time not working and not being distracted by things that really do not define you like jobs and all the things that have sort of, we’ve lost right now, but we’re still, we’re still the beautiful human beings that we are. In fact, maybe I think maybe humans are becoming more beautiful in the sense that they’re becoming more authentic. And I see a lot of compassion happening around me. I also see a lot of ugly stuff too. I’m not going to lie and I don’t mean to dismiss it, but I see a lot of beautiful compassion. I feel that people are much more present in the moment notice. Like when you do connect, like this connection between us is a thousand times more valuable. Maybe it would have been even like three months ago because it’s, it’s, we’re not having it all the time.

Marinda: Right, right. And, and we’re not being pulled in the millions of directions that we’re normally pulled in. I’ve, I’ve, that’s like the one really beautiful thing that’s stood out to me the most of this time is just these conversations that, that are finally happening because of the time and space, you know, there is to have them and, you know.

Carrie Ann: are you teaching right now? How are you doing that and where can people find your teaching?

Marinda: I am, I’m just kind of doing everything through zoom. Like everybody is, I’m in the dance community and just kind of doing guest classes for different professional studios and studios here and there. I’m probably gonna do a class next week, open to everybody. So, you know, I would say just like check-in on social media for whenever that gets announced.

Carrie Ann: So inspirations, yes. Or inspirations. Everybody should get that inspiration. Also, you know, I was thinking about this, cause I’m, you know, waiting for the fall and hoping dancing with the stars, all it comes back and you know, with this uncertain time, nobody knows what’s going on. Right. how do you see the dance world-shifting with this new world order that we have?

Marinda: That is a great question. As we kind of just mentioned that the teaching world has changed very quickly, right? Like the teaching world professional studios, regular studios has literally shifted to zoom overnight. Dancers are moving their couch in their living room and acting like they’ve done this their entire life. I, you mentioned this yesterday, I’m going to take your quote. You said dancers are like the most adaptable creatures, right? And that’s so true. You and I, and you more than me have been enough, have been on sets enough to know that the things that are requested of us on the spot, the changes, but just any other artists, I’m sorry, but any other artists or any other genre onset would, would either have a meltdown or a tantrum. We don’t even bat our eyes. I, and we make the change and, and you know, because dance isn’t always the top priority and the arts, which I hope we change we have constantly had to adjust and adapt. So if anybody’s going to get through this, it’s, it’s the dance community. I’m not sure how we remedy like choreography in live performance, which is you know, the center of our industry. I, I’m, I’m still figuring that out. So much of what we do is, is based on connection and awareness and all that stuff. Right. so I’m not sure, but I have no doubt that we’re going to be the ones to figure it out. Like, you know, dancers are gonna figure out how to go on.

Carrie Ann: We’ll look at TikTok, I’m sorry. It’s the whole world is dancing now. Yeah. I mean they’re saying the tic talk is the platform now that has boomed the most during these quarantine times and most of what people are doing are these little dances and I cannot tell you, but you know, always people come up to me and they’re like, when are you going to do Dancing With The Stars for normal people? I’m like, well here it is now TikTok because now everybody can dance and they have a great time and no pressure. Len Bruno and I are not sitting there with paddles. It’s unsure what’s coming up. Oh it’s, it’s, it’s been a half an hour that we’ve talked. I can’t believe, it went so fast. Where does the time go? But I hope we can do this again. Me too. And before we go, is there anything else that you want to share?

Marinda: I just want to say to you, thank you for having me and you are such an inspiration to me. I said this when we filmed the podcast, but you know, society and culture tell us that as sick people we can’t be happy and successful and you defy that. You’re such an example for me to go, yes, you can have both of those things. And so thanks for loving me and being my sister and, and for just being there and all things good and hard, you know.

Carrie Ann: Oh my gosh, thank you so much. And of course I appreciate that because especially coming from you because I truly respect you and I have so much admiration for all that you do, your creativity like I’m envious in a good way. You know what I mean? Like you know that that, that when you love somebody’s work and you just like, Oh, that must have felt so good when she saw that come to life and Oh, the app, like the struggle must’ve. Oh, all of it. Like I just, I love you, I love you as a human being. I love your process. I love what you choose to present in this world, the courage that you have, the way you do it with such elegance and grace, and yet a bit of Capricorn strength. Like no one’s messing with you. Yeah. And most importantly, I’m just happy that you are healthy right now. And continuing to look, she’s this your idea, you want it to do this and so it shall be so it shall be. Hopefully. Yes. Let’s do more. Yeah, let’s do more check-ins and then I will send you the video and then you can post it. You’ll have it. I’ll have it. We can play around and have this and share it with people because I think some of the things that we talked about here could help people with or without health conditions.

Marinda: Yeah. I really hope so. I love you.

Carrie Ann: I love you. I want to hug you. Air hug. I’ll see you soon. I can’t wait until we can really hug again. Stay safe.

Marinda: Thank you. You too. Thank you. Bye.