It’s easy to look at the wellness trends out there and think “I don’t have time for that”. Especially when social media perpetuates a kind of perfection that just doesn’t exist. We’ve all seen the TikToks or posts that outline someone’s flawless daily wellness routine, otherwise known as the “that girl” trend. You’ve seen that girl all over the internet – she eats clean, lives in the mid-century modern apartment of your dreams, makes a perfect matcha latte, and has all the time in the world for self-care. Meanwhile, you’re on the verge of turning your closet into a sea of black turtlenecks a la Elizabeth Holmes just to get an extra 5 minutes of sleep.
Fortunately, there are easy ways to incorporate wellness into your life that are attainable and effective. If you’re a 20-something in the middle of building your career and think you just don’t have the time, let me change your mind. Wellness isn’t about making the “right” choices all the time – it’s about making the choices that feel right to you. Here are 8 simple ways you can take advantage of your free time to better your mind, body, and soul.
Take a walk around the block at lunch time or get a change of scenery
Stepping out into the sunshine will not only help to keep your circadian rhythm on track, which will make sleep easier, it’ll also give you a necessary change of scenery. Sometimes you just need to get away from your desk for 5 minutes. There’s a reason Einstein went on frequent walks. Be more like Einstein.
Walks are also a great way to practice mindfulness. One way to do this is to actively pay attention to your surroundings. Notice the trees, the grass, the cars, etc. This is a great trick to use anywhere, at any time, to bring your attention to the present.
Journal for 5 minutes before bed or when you wake up
We’ve all heard about gratitude journaling, but it really does help to shift your mindset. If 5 minutes feels like too long, try timing yourself for a minute. Write down anything that pops into your mind. By reframing your thoughts you’ll set yourself up to create the work/life balance you want
If you’d like to do more self reflection or have trouble following through with self-care, more intentional journaling can help you to hold yourself accountable. Here are some quick prompts that are great for any day:
What are the small steps I’m taking this week to achieve my long term goals? What am I doing this week outside of anything work related?
The parts of my day that I enjoyed the most and the least were…
An ideal wellness routine looks like this to me…What would help me to achieve this?
What do I wish I had more time for and how can I realistically make time?
What did I do to take care of myself today? If I didn’t do anything, what stopped me?
This is what I would tell a friend if he/she was struggling to take time for their mental health right now…
Meditate for 5 mins while you sip your morning coffee
If you’re not a morning person, this can be a great way to start the day off slowly. There are so many great apps out there that have a meditation for everything you can think of. Check out our article on Carrie Ann’s favorite meditation leaders here for some suggestions.
Schedule in breaks during the day and set reminders on your phone
If you’re guilty of plowing through your work without taking adequate breaks, you might want to try setting reminders. Taking the time to get more water, a snack, or text your friend back can allow you to approach the rest of your work with fresh eyes.
Commit to exercising a couple days a week before or after work
Don’t set overwhelming goals. Even committing to two days a week is something.
This could be something as easy as doing a 15 minute YouTube workout.
Add one calming aspect to your night
If you don’t already have a nightly routine, stick in one calming activity that you can easily incorporate every night. Maybe it’s skincare, a cup of tea, or getting through a chapter of the book that’s been sitting on your nightstand. Again, wellness is one step at a time.
Schedule fun during the week
Make plans to get dinner with a friend or your partner after work, or throw caution to the wind and see a movie on a Wednesday night. It’s unhealthy to get stuck in the mindset of living for the weekends. There are 5 other days to have fun too!
Use PTO for mental health days if you need to
Sometimes you need a real break. If you have piles of unused PTO (paid time off), don’t hesitate to use it for a mental health day. Your coworkers will thank you later.
Adding in moments of healthy you-time is essential to your mental health and ultimately the success of your career. You don’t want to wait until you’re burnt out. It takes a lot less effort and time than you may think to get big results. Our generation tends to place a lot of importance on “success”, and we’ve been working ever since we knew what a college application was to chase this dream. Now is the time to create healthy habits so we can look back at our 20s and know we lived them to the fullest. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider trying one of these tips before you do an Elizabeth Holmes to your closet.
How many times have you hit the pillow at night only to stare at the ceiling in a whirlwind of unproductive thoughts for another two hours? You said you’d go to bed at 10pm, but your mind can’t stop reviewing that one comment you made in a meeting or that presentation you have tomorrow. Those sticky “what if” thoughts can ruminate in your brain and make falling asleep easily seem wholly unattainable. The off switch is nowhere in sight, so frustration and stress set in. Now you’re in panic mode because you know you have to get to sleep soon. You’re worse off than when you got into bed an hour ago.
It can feel like an endless cycle, but researchers have tackled this phenomenon in order to bring us solutions. Barring sleeping pills, which have their own risks, there are several practical methods that can aid in creating an environment and mindset conducive to sleep. You might already do a few of these, however, they work best together. Buying black out curtains and calling it a day won’t solve insomnia, but using these tools together in conjunction with other self-care habits just might.
The Basics
If you’re a sleep hygiene newbie, checking off a list of “must haves” is an essential way to start to improve your routine. According to the CDC, “adults need 7 or more hours of sleep per night for the best health and wellbeing”. You probably already know this. Nevertheless, it’s likely you often fall short of this, as “a third of US adults report that they usually get less than the recommended amount of sleep” (CDC). Research has suggested that there are a few non-negotiables when it comes to getting a good night’s rest, and these are the first steps to getting that full 7.
What you can do during the day
Get adequate exercise
Get direct exposure to sunlight daily, especially in the mornings – Bright light, or ideally exposure to direct sunlight, helps to keep your circadian rhythm in balance. It signals to your body that it’s time to wake up.
Wake up at the same time every morning – Consistency is key. If you sleep in until 11am one day and wake up at 7am the next, your schedule is inevitably thrown off.
Eat meals at the same time every day – Again, consistency is key, even with digestion. Keeping your body on a schedule will set you up for sleep.
Limit caffeine in the afternoon – Resisting that afternoon pick me up may be difficult, but you’ll thank yourself later when you’re actually tired at bedtime.
Limit alcohol consumption – Having a glass of wine while you watch Bridgerton is probably fine, just don’t go overboard.
Keep your bed for sleeping – Meaning don’t do work and take meetings from it.
Take a nap if you need to – There’s no shame in a power nap! It’s recommended not to nap too late in the afternoon though, as this could further mess with your sleep schedule.
Make your room as peaceful as possible – Pick out décor, sheets, pillows, etc. with this in mind. Maybe invest in a humidifier, sound machine, or an essential oil diffuser. Anything that makes you feel most at peace.
View our Amazon list of recommended sleep friendly products HERE!
What you can do right before bed
Keep your bedtime consistent – It can be extremely tempting to have a late night, especially when you don’t get much free time. But if you know that will mess you up in the morning, at least limit it to the weekends.
Start winding down 30 mins to an hour before bed – This can consist of anything that helps you to relax. Meditate, listen to a sleep story, read a book (nothing too gripping though), do a 16 step skincare routine, write in a journal, take a bath, listen to a spa playlist, do a puzzle – whatever your heart desires.
Keep lights in your home or apartment dim – Just like bright sunlight ques your brain to wake up, dim light lets it know that it’s time to sleep.
Make sure your room is dark when you get into bed – Get blackout curtains if you need to, and cover up any light sources (even covering that tiny blue light emanating from your power strip can help).
Limit blue light (AKA your cell phone, laptop, or TV) the hour before bedtime – if you have to work late or can’t resist TikTok, put your devices on night mode. This yellows the screen and gives your eyes a break. An alternative is to buy blue light glasses.
Keep your room cool or at a temperature that is most comfortable to you
If you live on a busy street or have noisy neighbors, consider ear plugs or a sound machine
If you’ve been trying some of these methods but aren’t seeing results, the CDC recommends starting a sleep journal as a first line of defense. Write down your daily habits for a week – what time you went to bed / woke up, when you ate, what you ate, caffeine consumption, alcohol consumption, etc. This can help to reveal patterns and narrow down what isn’t working.
I’ve got my habits down, but I can’t stop beating myself up when they don’t work
One of the most infuriating side effects of sleep problems is how cognizant you are of the importance of sleep. How could you not be? You’ve set up a full routine of habits to get some much needed REM. On nights when that routine fails, you’re all too aware of it. Luckily, this is a frequent problem among the sleepless and researchers have come up with methods to solve it.
One common tool that even therapists use to combat this kind of thinking is called paradoxical intention. In general, paradoxical intention is “a psychotherapeutic technique […] in which the individual is asked to magnify a distressing, unwanted symptom” and aims to “help such individuals distance themselves from their symptoms, often by appreciating the humorous aspects of their exaggerated responses” (American Psychological Association). In treating insomnia, employing paradoxical intention means to avoid efforts to fall asleep. The “unwanted symptom” is not being able to fall asleep, and by engaging in the opposite – trying to stay awake – the performance anxiety you have has the opportunity to diminish.
Paradoxical Intention doesn’t mean you get into bed and do all the wrong things – like staring at a screen. It is used in combination with your regular techniques and routines. It’s the process of letting go of the fear of not sleeping, and releasing the guilt you may feel around it. Here are a few ways to put this method to work:
When you get into bed, instead of focusing on trying to fall asleep, try to stay awake. Keep your eyes open as long as you can. You might find that sleep comes easier when you’re trying to do the opposite.
Learn to be at peace with quiet, or passive, wakefulness. It’s okay to be in bed, resting with your eyes closed. At least you are resting. Try to move your thoughts away from why you can’t sleep, and focus on simply relaxing.
If you can’t sleep, get up. Move to a different room or somewhere that is not your bed. Start a relaxation technique, like a guided meditation, or read a boring book. This will help occupy your mind until you become sleepy.
I’ve tried it all – now what?
If you’re at the point where basic sleep hygiene isn’t cutting it, don’t worry. If your insomnia is severe enough, it’s time to visit your doctor. Sleep problems can be a sign of underlying conditions, so it’s important to get that checked before anything else. Some medical and therapeutic interventions include:
Sleep Studies: Your primary care physician can refer you to a doctor that specializes in sleep medicine. Sleep studies can rule out sleep apnea or anything happening neurologically.
Depression Treatment: Insomnia can be a symptom of depression, especially if you are a woman. According to the Sleep Foundation, “women are diagnosed with depression at higher rates than men, and sleeping too much or too little is a frequent symptom of that disorder. Studies have also found that women are more likely to ruminate about their concerns, which can contribute to anxiety, limiting one’s ability to fall asleep easily”.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): If you’ve gotten the all clear physically, one option is to try CBT, which is one of the most common types of talk therapy. The Mayo Clinic defines CBT for insomnia as “a structured program that helps you identify and replace thoughts and behaviors that cause or worsen sleep problems with habits that promote sound sleep. Unlike sleeping pills, CBT-I helps you overcome the underlying causes of your sleep problems”.
Sleep is essential, not a luxury. It’s easy to fall into the trap of consistently working late to prove something to yourself or to others. But you are the only one that can take care of you. Not to mention, your work quality and overall health can falter when you’re not getting enough sleep. If you’re struggling, it’s worth it to take the time to adjust whatever needs adjusting, especially if you tend to ruminate and can’t mentally cut ties with the day. There’s so much help out there, and it’s just waiting for you to take the first step. You deserve a good night’s rest.
Jane Massengill is a master certified coach and licensed social worker. She found coaching over 20 years ago when she was working with a group of psychiatrists who were exploring and expanding treatment for adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. A new profession in its infancy, coaching was exactly what Jane was looking for to bridge the gap between the internal personal growth work she was doing as a therapist and the external restructuring her clients needed with daily challenges such as getting to work on time, keeping a daily schedule or creating an exercise routine. She quickly fell into being among a small group of professionals in the country who had experience as a therapist with the training of a coach, plus years of work with adults with ADHD in a clinic setting. It put her in a unique position to write a chapter on ADD Coaching in Dr. Daniel Amen’s New York Times bestselling book, Healing ADD, and to participate in creating the first set of guidelines for ADD Coaches for the newly formed Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Association.
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s March 3rd, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jane Massengill. It has been edited for length and clarity.
While ADHD (Attention-deficit / hyperactivity Disorder) is a fairly new type of mental diagnosis (it wasn’t recognized by the American Psychiatric Association until the 1960’s, and the “hyperactivity” component was not added until the 1980’s), it is also one of the most common. Many of us are related to someone, or at least know an individual with ADHD, yet a stigma still seems to shroud the disorder. When we imagine someone with ADHD, a lot of us picture that busy boy in class that can’t sit still. The truth is that ADHD has many faces, which is why it can often get missed in childhood. Many people do not even realize they have the disorder until their own children are diagnosed and they connect the dots. This is especially true for women, who don’t always present with that stereotypical case of hyperactivity. If you’re unfamiliar with the disorder or simply curious to learn more, we were lucky enough to have Carrie Ann’s personal ADHD coach, Jane Massengill, dispel common misconceptions and share her own story.
Carrie Ann: On our on our first episode of “Carrie Ann Conversations: Journey to Wellness”, I spoke with Dr. Daniel Amen and shared my ADHD diagnosis. It was Dr. Amen who referred me to you, and suggested I speak with you. Can you share with everyone how you started working with ADHD patients? And how an ADHD coach is different from a life coach?
Jane Massengill: Great question. It’s really interesting, I was thinking about this this morning. When I first started out as a social worker in the early 80s, there was no such thing as adult ADHD. It was really just a diagnosis and kids. I ended up meeting Dr. Amen when I moved to California, because I wanted to work with a psychiatrist and work with families. So at the time, the only thing we had was the Yellow Pages. I called every psychiatrist in the Yellow Pages and Amen begins with A, so I met him the next day. Dan hired me on the spot. He had actually just finished his residency, so he had just started his practice. So we started working together in the late 80s, and were seeing a lot of parents that had kids with ADHD. Right around that same time, Dan started doing brain imaging, and I volunteered to have a scan. Through that process, I learned about my own ADHD.
Carrie Ann: Wait, is that the first time that you realized you had ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Absolutely. Yeah, I was doing all of these evaluations with people at the Amen clinic. I had left the clinic for about four years when my kids were really little. When I came back, Dan was doing these scans and he needed a bunch of people with healthy brains to volunteer. After the diagnosis, I remember thinking, this just makes so much sense. He said he didn’t expect it, but he didn’t see a lot of my own struggles that weren’t showing up in the workplace. He didn’t see the stuff in the background, you know, what my piles looked like at home and how I worked really hard to just try to keep it together. So it was such a relief to me when I had that diagnosis. I think it is for most people, Carrie Ann I think you said earlier that it helped you connect the dots. That’s what it was like for me, a light bulb.
Carrie Ann: Yeah, it really brought it together. And you’re right, it connected the dots for me. When we first started working together, I remember that you asked me if I had kids, because you said a lot of parents don’t even know they have ADHD until their children get to a certain age. Then they start to see it, and feel overwhelmed in their life. Why is it so difficult, not knowing that you have ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Yes, that was absolutely true for me. I mean, my diagnosis happened right in the middle of when my kids were really little. I was juggling a lot of stuff and trying to try to work. Again, it was just a big aha.
Carrie Ann: It was such a big aha for me too. And it really helped me understand a lot of things. As a child and for most of my life, I’ve always felt a bit different. Some parents will tell you, oh, no, you’re not special. But that’s not what I was trying to say. I was trying to say that I think my brain is a little different. But parents always try to keep you in line, and keep your feet on the floor. My mom was always doing that, she would go “oh, I don’t know about that”. There’s a lot of misconceptions out there about ADHD, especially adult ADHD. So first of all, what is ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Great question. ADHD is a genetically and biologically based syndrome. I like to think of it as a way of being in the world, but there is biology to it. There absolutely is clear science. There’s no disputing any of that. When you’re an adult with ADHD, you have issues with attention and focus, and doing things that are routine, that are boring. The opposite is true, though, too. Attention Deficit is such a misguided term, actually. We don’t have a deficit of attention. We have so much attention, we don’t know what to do with it! That’s the biggest challenge. So It’s all about learning how to bring that attention under control. That’s really the challenge.
Carrie Ann: I’m an open book, so I’ve been running around telling all my friends that I have ADHD. And I can see in some of their eyes that they don’t believe me, or they think that I’m just being a hypochondriac. Because when you have autoimmune conditions, you’re also often accused of being a hypochondriac. As I’ve done my research, working with you and Dr. Amen and reading every book possible about ADHD, I’ve realized that it’s just a different way of thinking. We can’t control the speed at which our brain wants to focus on things, so sometimes it hyper focuses and sometimes it wanders down the street. Is that a good way to describe it?
Jane Massengill: That’s a wonderful description. One of my favorite ADHD books, “ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction” by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, talks about this. Dr. Hallowell says that when you have ADHD, it’s like having a Ferrari brain with bicycle brakes. When you have ADHD, you prefrontal cortex, which is kind of like your supervisor or your secretary, is not functioning like it does for everybody else. So, you have issues with what they call “executive functioning”. I think of that as an executive secretary that’s just out to lunch. And sometimes that person comes back. And sometimes they don’t. You don’t always know when they’re going to come back. You can’t trust them to always be there for you. That is why learning how to manage it, working with a coach, and getting treatment for it will help – you’re training your manager.
Carrie Ann: I know it’s very important to manage your ADHD. You were telling me some statistics last time we did a session about unmanaged ADHD, can you share them?
Jane Massengill: Russell Barkley is a psychologist who’s been researching ADHD for 40 years now, and I had the honor of working with him when I worked at UMass Medical Center. He came up with research a couple of years ago, which absolutely blew my mind. This research says that if you are an undiagnosed, untreated, unmanaged adult with ADHD, your estimated life expectancy is up to 12 years shorter than everybody else’s. I mean, that’s a lot of time. And if you think about it, you’re more prone to accidents, car crashes, and not managing your health when you have untreated ADHD.
Carrie Ann: What about eating and stress? I think unmanaged ADHD had an effect on my autoimmune condition. This has been a hidden key to helping me feel better, because I noticed that my stress is escalates when my ADHD is unmanaged. And that’s why you have been such a blessing in my life, because you really taught me how to manage it.
Jane Massengill: It’s funny, when I when I share that statistic, everybody has a story. I just shared it with a colleague of mine yesterday, and she was telling me that when she was in her early 30s she found a spot on her hand. And her friend said look, you need to go get that spot on your hand checked. But it became one of those things that she just kept procrastinating on. When she finally saw the doctor, he said if she would have waited one more month, it would have killed her. It was melanoma. So I just think it’s there’s so many things. I think about my own family. My father was killed in a car accident when he was 48 years old. He was a policeman, and a lot of people with ADHD end up going towards those types of professions. But ADHD wasn’t around then. When I look back, it certainly makes me question if he was undiagnosed and died early because he was staying up really late, and probably not paying attention while he was driving. So ADHD is something worth paying attention to.
Carrie Ann: First of all, I’m so sorry about your loss. I didn’t know that. And it’s interesting when you do find out about your ADHD, you can kind of look back through your life and track how it may or may not have affected you.
I’ve also noticed that people often think of ADHD in a stereotypical way. They think ADHD only looks like a little boy in class who can’t sit still, who’s hitting the girls and having emotional outbursts. But look, that is not what I looked like growing up, and I’m sure that’s not what you looked like. You just mentioned that people with ADHD could be more accident prone. What are the other signs of somebody who has ADHD?
Jane Massengill: It looks different in everybody, and that’s why it’s hard to pin down for some people. People don’t necessarily understand it, there’s a lot of misconceptions. And some people – if you think of ADHD as an arc – barely meet the criteria for diagnosis. Other people have it on a much more extreme scale. It’s also an invisible disorder, so it’s harder to see sometimes. In adults, it can look like bouncing around. Many of my clients have these big balls that they sit on when we do coaching sessions, or they stand up. I always support that kind of stuff. Women are oftentimes missed with being diagnosed, especially as kids, because they’re the quiet ones that are sitting in the corner, not making any trouble. As adults, a lot of women with ADHD are afraid to engage because it feels too scary. They are more focused on wanting to do things that are less out in the world, and don’t push themselves to go out and do things.
Carrie Ann: I remember when I was younger, before I was diagnosed, someone said to me “oh, you have analysis paralysis”. And I sure do!
Jane Massengill: But you can also have hyper focus on things that you really love. A good friend of mine, Rick Carson, who wrote “Taming Your Gremlin”, told me once that I was like a pit bull on a rump roast. So when we are passionate about something we can dig in and not want to let go. When I first learned about ADHD, I read every single book that was out there, because I wanted to learn everything I possibly could about myself and about the people that I was working with. The benefit of that is we are really good at things that we love. The challenge of that is we sometimes don’t know when to stop, and we can burn ourselves out. And we don’t know when enough is enough. Almost everything with ADHD is a double edged sword.
Carrie Ann: One of the things that I’ve learned from working with you is that I need stand up against my brain. My brain wants to run away from a task that I know I need to do. I can walk by something on the floor 100 times, but that is not because I’m lazy, or that I don’t want to pick it up off the floor. Except that now I know that I have to actually put more effort into stopping and taking that moment to finish something. If it’s a short or mundane task, I can struggle with it. Even brushing my teeth in the morning. I do it every morning, but I’m always trying to talk myself out of it. I talk myself around it, like maybe I’ll do it this way. Maybe I’ll change the way I do it. It’s challenging. And I say all these things because I want people to understand that. You may not have ADHD, but you may struggle with some of the things that we’re talking about. And if you do have it, it doesn’t mean you’re limited in any way.
Did anything that Jane had to say surprise you? There’s so much to learn about ADHD, and a lot of what we know can lead to misconceptions! As Jane mentioned, the term “attention deficit” itself can be misleading – people with ADHD are also known to possess extreme focus. We hope that this conversation informed your own understanding of the disorder, or satisfied your curiosity. Factual information is the key to destigmatizing anything. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below, we’d love to hear what resonated with you.
Jane Massengill is a master certified coach and licensed social worker. She found coaching over 20 years ago when she was working with a group of psychiatrists who were exploring and expanding treatment for adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. A new profession in its infancy, coaching was exactly what Jane was looking for to bridge the gap between the internal personal growth work she was doing as a therapist and the external restructuring her clients needed with daily challenges such as getting to work on time, keeping a daily schedule or creating an exercise routine. She quickly fell into being among a small group of professionals in the country who had experience as a therapist with the training of a coach, plus years of work with adults with ADHD in a clinic setting. It put her in a unique position to write a chapter on ADD Coaching in Dr. Daniel Amen’s New York Times bestselling book, Healing ADD, and to participate in creating the first set of guidelines for ADD Coaches for the newly formed Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Association.
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s March 3rd, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jane Massengill. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Everyone can have issues with attention and focus – ADHD diagnosis or not. Our attention is constantly being pulled in every direction, and it’s never been harder to center ourselves and clear the clutter surrounding us. It’s no wonder that the wellness and self-help industries are at their largest, and that meditation has become part of mainstream culture. However, the saturation of the self-help market inevitably leads to confusion. Which tools are the best? How do I find what works for me? This is where coaches come in handy (check our are latest article on health coaches here – link Jim Curtis), because they know how to navigate the waters. If you’ve been feeling like it’s been difficult to focus, ADHD coach Jane Massengill has tried and true tools for you that you can implement right now.
Carrie Ann: What are some of the tools that can help ADHD? Because everybody says meditate, but what else is there? And why does meditation really help?
Jane Massengill: You don’t actually have to have a diagnosis of ADHD to benefit from the things that we’re talking about. Everybody can benefit from this, especially with the onset of the internet and so many distractions. Whether you have ADHD or not, our attention is constantly pulled, so it helps to know how to focus it. I think it’s no surprise that there’s been such a rise in meditation and mindfulness, because it absolutely helps us come to the present moment and quiet down some of the other things that are going on around us.
Meditation helps because it’s a practice of shifting your attention – taming your gremlin and quieting that monster of the mind. A book that I use all the time is “Taming Your Gremlin” by Rick Carson. Love it. For me personally, it really helped me understand that I can actually shift my attention. When I first got diagnosed with ADHD, I used to think my attention was like a fish on the bottom of a boat, just flopping around, and there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, that’s what it feels like oftentimes, right? But with meditation and with quieting the monster, you’re bringing your attention right back to your physical body, to your breath.
Carrie Ann: Oh, I see. I like to call it discipline. I’ve realized that if I’m not disciplined in the way my mind works, then it will go all over the place. Since working with you, I’ve realized that I need to be more disciplined without putting pressure on myself. Is that kind of what you’re saying, that with mediation we are learning how to build those muscles that support a better life with ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Absolutely. And then there are other tools. My clients will tell you that I’m a timer queen, I always have timers around me. I have a little timer in my office that I oftentimes set for 30 minutes if I’ve got something I want to keep my attention focused on. One of the things that happens with ADHD is what they call “time blindness”. I was actually talking to a client last night and he said, “my wife used to always say, if you loved me, you’d be on time”. And that makes me want to educate people all the more about what ADHD is all about, because it’s not about not caring about somebody and their time. It’s not being able to really understand what 10 minutes feels like, or what 15 minutes feels like. So I’m a major proponent of a watch that has a timer on it. Just this morning already used it half a dozen times, just to help me stay on track. So timers are a big one. Meditation is a big one.
Carrie Ann: What about lists? I’m a big list person.
Jane Massengill: Yeah, absolutely. Making lists, having something physical to help remind you, are what I think of as having homes for things in your mind. If you’ve got 15 things you’re thinking of all at the same time, making a list helps you do a brain dump. Any kind of tool that help you get a sense of time, like a big wall calendar, will help. I always have a poster sized calendar for the whole year, because it lets you stand back and see an entire 12 months at a time.
Carrie Ann: Yes, especially with autoimmune conditions, if you have a bird’s eye view of what the month looks like, you can schedule in time to rest. And you can you can make better decisions, because personally, I have a tendency to overbook myself. I get super excited about things, but then I can’t do them because I’ve said yes to seven things at the same time.
Now, one of the things that you taught me that I thought was so fascinating was the VARK test. You said that this can help anybody, whether you have ADHD or not. It teaches us about our learning style, which I thought was really interesting. How does that help somebody with ADHD or somebody who doesn’t have ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Well, we’re constantly learning and it helps to know what our style of learning is. And so whether you have ADHD or not, I recommend this test, especially for parents and their kids. VARK stands for visual, aural, read / write, and kinesthetic. It helps you communicate with not only other people around you, but understand how you communicate with yourself as well. And you, Carrie Ann, are actually are four-part learner. For example, one of yours is writing things down. So anybody that is working with you on your team needs to know that.
I’m also working with a college student right now who is a four-part learner. He really struggled with trying to get a project done, until he started realizing, okay, I need to make a diagram about this, I need to talk with somebody about it, I need to have a live example of somebody actually doing this, and I need to take notes. Then he can get it. But without knowing that, you struggle and you start beating yourself up. So I think the VARK test is a brilliant contribution that is super affordable, and can help anybody.
Carrie Ann: As somebody who’s also a four-part learner, that just means that in order for me to learn something, I kind of need to do it four different ways for it to sink in. And that did frustrate me because I was like, why am I such a slow learner, yet I’m also so fast? I pick up things so quickly, all the nuances in a room, and I can just feel it all. That’s what makes me good on live television. I feel like it’s my superpower. I’m aware of everything all at once, and I can respond to it or not. And the VARK test has helped me to know that it’s going to take me a few more steps. I actually learned patience with myself, which is something that you have really helped me with.
Jane Massengill: Yeah, not beat yourself up. Because that monster in your mind is always going to be right there at the edge to take you down.
Carrie Ann: I know there’s people who just think ADHD is BS, right? So what do you say to people like that? How do you help them to understand, or do they even need to understand?
Jane Massengill: Well, I do always want to reiterate that ADHD is not a belief, it’s not like a religion. It is a brain based set of issues set of challenges. Which by the way, it can really be improved. In fact, last week I saw a brain scan that was 20 years old. And we compared it to a new scan, and it was so hopeful to see the neuroplasticity of the brain, and how you can really improve your prefrontal cortex. So it is real. I think the most important thing to understand is that it’s invisible, and everybody has certain traits or characteristics that can look like ADHD. But if you have ADHD, you’re going to have more of a lifelong challenge with attention, distractibility, and focus. So it’s important for people to just have empathy, and educate yourself or stay open.
Carrie Ann: Stay open. That’s one of the things that I was surprised about in my work with you. Because it does require a certain level of discipline to get your ADHD in a manageable form for your life. And I’ve noticed that you have so much compassion when you help me, and that we often get into much deeper issues about things that I’m afraid of. When I tell you I’m struggling with something, what I love is that you don’t just go, oh, that’s just ADHD. You’re always like, well, what are you afraid of? What’s happening there? What are the possible outcomes? And I find that to be so nurturing. And so very healing. So if somebody were to go and seek out the help of a coach in their lifetime, what would the what advice would you give them in what to look for?
Jane Massengill: I think it’s really important to make sure that you connect with somebody. I always tell people it’s helpful to interview two or three coaches and make sure there’s a bond. So interview some people, and make sure that you are working with somebody that has some background and knowledge on what ADHD is all about.
Carrie Ann: You have been coaching for a long time, so I’m very curious to know if there is an area of life that people struggle with the most?
Jane Massengill: Absolutely – self-confidence. It’s probably top of the heap. If you’ve been told your entire life that you’re a square peg in a round hole, and you don’t fit in, you’re going to start to question yourself. And not give yourself credit when you do achieve great things. So I think the process of coaching is about helping you find your unique shape, you know, to get out of that square peg in a round hole mentality. There’s also healing to be done from some of the scars of the past. So that’s always a big thing.
Organization of time and space is always a big thing, and just struggling with getting the mundane things done on a regular basis. In fact, one of the things I started a couple of years ago is a three hour time management workshop. It’s called the Get Er’ Done Workshop and we do it on Zoom. Everybody starts with this list of things to do that’s very typical, like getting the dishes done, making phone calls, etc. It’s an accountability group, but I’m coaching people the whole time. So everyone shares who they are, what they’re working on, and what they’ll be doing for the first hour. We set a timer, and then everybody turns their camera off. I stay behind the screens. And you go and do your work, then come back at the top of every hour for 10 minutes to check in with me. I always have people listen for their distractions and ask what got in the way. So there’s coaching, but it’s also about just knowing that you’re not alone, and that there are other people that are very successful in life and struggle with some of the same challenges.
Carrie Ann: I love that you’re building a community for people. And, you know, it’s funny, as I listen to this conversation, I can feel even more that I’m not separate. I can also tell that some people are going to read this and be like, what are you talking about? But you know what, for people who have it, that workshop just sounds so enticing. I often feel better when there’s somebody around and it’s easier to get my projects done. I know that there are people out there that this is also resonating with, so how do they sign up for the Get ‘Er Done workshop?
Jane Massengill: Yes, they can go to my website, janemassengill.com. And they can use code conversations (lowercase or uppercase) for 60% off the price!
Carrie Ann: I love it. You’re so good at what you do, and I am grateful that you have come into my life and that I have you as a resource. And I think in this world, we’re all kind of struggling – these are difficult times. So knowing that there’s people that you can reach out to and get help from is amazing. I just have one final thought. I want to know where your compassion comes from, because you just have so much of it!
Jane Massengill: Thank you. I grew up in a community in Canton, Ohio, and my dad was a policeman and my mom was a nurse. All my all my relatives were teachers or in some kind of service industry. And I knew at a very early age that I wanted to be a social worker. After my father died, I had a couple of teachers that really took me under their wing. I think they were really pivotal for me in terms of helping me connect with that thing that’s inside of me that wants to do something important in the world for other people. So I just feel incredibly blessed that I’ve been able to clear out some of the clutter from my ADHD so I can connect with and help other people.
Carrie Ann: I love it. You’re following your dreams, and you help everybody that you work with follow their dreams. You’re helping me fulfill that right now with Carrie Ann Conversations.
Already planning a trip to the app store to browse meditation apps? If you’re interested, we have an article here on Carrie Ann’s favorite meditations on the app Insight Timer. In fact, Lisa Romano, a life coach we recently interviewed, has her own guided meditations on the app.
We hope this conversation gave you something new to think about. If something resonated with you, let us know in comments below! We would love to hear from you.
Madisyn Taylor is the cofounder and former editor-in-chief of DailyOM. She is the author of Unmedicated. The Four Pillars of Natural Wellness (January 2018) and an award-winning and bestselling author of two previous books including DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilling Day (#1 Amazon self-help, #3 Amazon overall) and DailyOM: Learning to Live (#1 Amazon self-help, #7 Amazon overall). Her books have been translated into more than fifteen languages. Madisyn has also been a contributing author for Oprah.com. This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s January 20th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Madisyn Taylor. It has been edited for length and clarity.
How many times have you tried the latest wellness trend only to not achieve the results you were hoping for? Maybe you gave meditation a shot, and it just wasn’t for you. Maybe your friend told you about the latest self help book that changed their life, but reading isn’t the way you learn best. If there’s one thing we’ve learned here at Carrie Ann Conversations, it’s that there are many approaches to wellness and it’s perfectly normal to go through trial and error! That’s something that our guest, Madisyn Taylor, preaches as well. Madisyn has gone through trauma and come out on the other side determined to help people begin their journey to achieve ultimate wellness. Her tools are vast and she uses her own experiences to inspire others to make changes in their lives. We loved having her on Carrie Ann Conversations: Journey to Wellness, and can’t wait for you to hear what she has to say!
Carrie Ann: Welcome to a another Carrie Ann Conversations Journey to Wellness. Today, I want to talk about healing. Whether that be from past trauma, confronting your fears, or just resetting your minds to stop self-sabotaging. I don’t know if you guys do that, but I know I’m certainly guilty of it. Joining us today in this conversation is a best-selling author, meditation specialist, and my new friend, Madisyn Taylor. She’s also the Co-Founder of DailyOM, and author of the book of the same name.
Madisyn, thank you for joining me. I have been reading the DailyOM for years. It’s basically my nightstand and bathroom reading all the time. It’s one of those books that I just always turn back to whenever I’m lost. And you have helped me so much in my struggles, before I even knew that I had a journey to go on. Would you mind telling my viewers about the DailyOM?
Madisyn Taylor: Yes, we started it way back in 2004, which seems like forever ago. The purpose of it really was to help people get on their own journeys and have their own lightbulb moments. We did that by having me write sort of, I guess a daily essay if you will, that comes to your inbox every morning. The idea was that people would all be thinking these good thoughts at the same time while they’re having their coffee in the morning. The essays really were about my own life journey, but I didn’t write it in a first person perspective because I didn’t want it to be about me. I wanted everyone to be able to relate to it. It was everything from relationships, to depression, anxiety, to trauma – just things that we all go through every day. And that we need help with because I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get an instruction manual when I was born. I didn’t know how to navigate any of the stuff that was happening to me. So I thought that I could finally put all of my years of experience, all of my loss, all of my trauma, and all of my learning into helping other people. Back in 2004 the internet really wasn’t that popular yet, so we took the email perspective of that. And then the business model of it was to sell online courses in that same genre. Now it’s anything from yoga, to relationships, and everything in between.
Carrie Ann: It’s really quite an amazing destination. It has everything.
Madisyn Taylor: Yes, there’s something for everybody. But what was important to me was to have it affordable to everybody. So you can take a course for $15, which I think is phenomenal. And these are six week courses to one year courses. It’s not a one day or a few hour thing. I know in my own healing journey, I could not afford all of the healing that I needed. Acupuncturists, psychiatrists, and all these specialists are a minimum of $100 each session and if you don’t have insurance, you’re kind of screwed. I really, really, wanted to have healing available to everybody. So my daily essays were free, and that was my service work to humanity. Then the business model was the courses, but at an affordable rate.
Carrie Ann: It’s attainable for everyone, and that’s why I love it so much. Part of Carrie Ann Conversations Journey to Wellness is all about spreading accessibility to wellness. Hopefully people can find just a tidbit here and there, something that resonates with them, even if they don’t know it’s resonating. Something that sounds interesting to them, so that they can maybe do their own research and head out into their own discovery. Because as we both know, it’s a journey.
Now, let’s move on. I’ve heard you talking about fear, and I think that plays such a huge factor in this conversation about healing from trauma. So what are the most common fears that you think we all share? Because this is about building community, finding places where we are similar, right? How can we turn the fear switch off or down?
Madisyn Taylor: It’s kind of funny, the two most common fears that everybody has are getting what you want and losing what you have. Imagine, oh, I got a million dollars, I really wanted that. And then oh my god, the taxman wants some, my best friend wants something. Now you’re in fear of having it all go away.
Carrie Ann: Say it again, one more time, because that’s powerful. What are the two fears that you think everybody has?
Madisyn Taylor: Getting what you want, and then losing what you have. Getting it and then losing it. Those are the fears that that humans have. But really, the fear that people have is doing the deep dive. You and I know that in order to heal, you have to do the deep dive, you have to peel the layers. I’m a big baby steps person, and I don’t believe in going to the center nugget right away. You’ve got to peel the outer layers. It really is like an onion. Every baby step serves a purpose. And if you dive in too deep, too fast, you’re going to get scared and you’re never going to go back. So my work is about gentle baby steps.
My big tip is to make a list of your fears, and then go right into all of them and write as much as you can about each fear. What is the fear? How does it make you feel? How is it affecting your life? Because it is and you may not know it. And then what I like to do – I’m giving homework and I love to give homework-
Carrie Ann: I love you for giving homework, you’re my kind of girl!
Madisyn Taylor: Thank you! Once you write down your fear and how it makes you feel – and writing about it may make you feel nervous – write a counter thought to that fear. That’s how you’re going to start healing the fear. Let’s take something really simple, like I’m afraid of flying. It makes me shake like a leaf. I think about it for three days beforehand, I start stressing, I get nervous. I’m worried I’m going to miss my flight, that I’m going to sit next to someone that’s going to smell bad, that we’re going to crash, I hate turbulence, all of this stuff. So I write it all down, and I feel the anxiety coming up.
Then I think, what can I do about that? Well, I can tell the flight attendant I’m nervous, and she or he will pay a lot more attention to you. I can talk to my neighbor sitting next to me and say I’m feeling a little nervous. I do that every single flight, and they turn out to be like a therapist for me. I can bring comfort items on the plane, right? That’s kind of an example that’s not super personal in terms of fears. It’s personal to me, but it’s not a deep seated fear. So name it and claim it, and then write a solution to it or a counter statement to your fear. You will look at it all in your journal as one unit and say, wow, you know what, that’s not as bad as I thought it was.
Carrie Ann: Oh my God, that’s wonderful. Name it, claim it, gather it into a manageable amount, look at it, and realize it’s not as big as you’re making it. I think when you write it down, it really does help you. I find that things, when they’re still in your mind, they become huge, right? We have to remember as human beings that we are so powerful with what we can do with one little idea. We can turn it into something amazing. That’s the power of creation. However, the power of creation can also create a huge monster that’s chasing us at every turn. We can run faster, or we can put it in perspective, which is what you just did. That’s a great tip.
In your own journey through trauma to wellness you’ve spent a lot of time defining things and putting things into words for people. How would you define wellness now, here in 2022, after all that you’ve been through?
Madisyn Taylor: I think that wellness is not a one size fits all scenario. It’s going to look a little different for all of us, our packaging is different. But what’s really important is that it can’t be segmented. Wellness needs to be body, mind, and spirit, the trifecta. They really need to go together. You can’t have full wellness without having wellness in all of those areas. And it’s all attainable. I know it can sound a little overwhelming, but again, if you take your baby steps it’s definitely attainable. Once you fix one of them, you’ll find that the others tend to fall into place. I mean, you are this amazing temple, this healing machine. And you always hear those terms when you’re a little kid, like the hip bone is connected to the backbone. We are all connected.
Those three things intertwine and work together to make a healthy human being. It’s really important, but most people ignore one of those. We always really go for the physical health, but the mind and the spiritual health are equally as important. Spiritual health is really about journaling and meditation, maybe having an altar and those sorts of practices. It’s not about religion or going to church, although that could be it for some people. Then the mind is brain health, which of course you talked about with that brilliant doctor last week.
Carrie Ann: Yes, Dr. Amen. That was a great conversation. You know, these conversations, they’re mostly for me. Because I just love talking about wellness, and I love hearing about other people’s journeys. I love hearing other people’s perspective, because as you say, the journey is unique and individual to each one of us. It took me looking at 1000 trillion different things to figure out what’s working. And look, in three months, different things are going to work. It’s constantly a work in progress. Wellness is not a one and done kind of thing. Madisyn has got like 8,000 different ways to approach wellness. And that’s because she’s been studying it for so long, because she needed to for her own journey in life. That’s what my wish is for all of you – that you can find wellness. The way to do it is to keep experimenting and working on it. It’s something that takes work just like building your home, or building your family and raising your children. It’s the same thing. You are an entity that is worthy of all the love, caring, and all the wellness that could possibly come your way.
Experimenting, working, and building. That’s what healing and the road to wellness entails, but it’s so rewarding when you start to see a shift in your life. Especially when you begin to fit all of the pieces together, as Madisyn said. The mind, body, and spirit are interconnected and of equal importance. Don’t be afraid to take baby steps and work through one area at a time – the puzzle pieces will fall into place at the right time. If you’re interested in hearing more about Madisyn’s story and watching the full interview, you can view it here!
You can find Madisyn Taylor’s books, social media, online courses, and other resources at these links:
Instagram: @mtmadisyntaylorMadisyn’s websiteAmazon bookstoreDailyOm
Fran Drescher has a reputation for passion and commitment. She received two Emmy and two Golden Globe nominations for her portrayal as the lovable “MissFine” on CBS’s hit series,The Nanny, which she both created and executive produced. She also created, executive produced and starred in the groundbreaking TV Land sitcom,Happily Divorced, which was inspired by her real-life relationship with her gay ex-husband, Peter Marc Jacobson. Fran recently starred in the new NBC sitcom,Indebted, about a Baby Boomer couple who go broke and have to move in with their adult son and his young family. She has worked with many great directors in films such as Rob Reiner’s This is Spinal Tap, to which Fran won Esquire Magazine’s One Minute Oscar, Milos Forman’s Ragtime, and Francis Ford Coppola’s Jack. She also starred in Beautician and the Beast opposite Timothy Dalton. Her famous voice is currently featured in the top-grossing SONY animated feature franchise film,Hotel Transylvania: In her role as Eunice, the wife of Frank Stein. In 2019, Fran starred in two indie films,The Creatress and After Class. She currently serves as the president of SAG-AFTRA.
An accomplished author, Fran received the prestigious NCCS writer’s award for Cancer Schmancer, which, along with Enter Whining, were New York Times Best Sellers. She also penned the celebrated children’s book, Being Wendy. Furthermore, Fran made her Broadway debut as “Madame” in Rodgers +Hammerstein’s Tony-Award winning Cinderella. Fran is a 20+-year cancer survivor and founder of the Cancer Schmancer Movement; dedicated to educating, motivating, and activating patients into medical consumers by connecting lifestyle to disease with her Master Class Health Summit and teen-targeted education video, Be The Change, starring Jamie Foxx.
This article is an excerpt from my Feb. 10th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Fran Drescher. The interview has been edited for clarity and format. To watch the full video,click here.
The home is a sanctuary, a place where we feel safe and at peace. Many of us focus solely on the look of our homes, tailoring them to reflect our personalities and energies. It’s helpful to have our living spaces project exactly how we want to feel inside them, but there’s a component missing to that equation. As important as it is to carefully construct a comfortable space, it is equally important to be mindful of the products we use in our homes. Some chemicals found in everyday products can be harmful to us and exacerbate or cause health issues. This is completely in opposition to the idea of creating a safe, peaceful environment to live in. So, how do we know which products are harmful? How can we start becoming more mindful about the products we use? I caught up with self-taught expert and all around wonderful human, Fran Drescher, to give you the answers. Fran is a cancer survivor and has made it her personal mission to not only advocate for safer products, but teach people how they can lead a more natural life. Fran is the definition of walking the walk, and I’m so grateful to her for sharing these tips.
The products mentioned in this article are suggestions from the Carrie Ann Conversations team based on Fran’s advice.
Switch to aluminum free deodorant and limit use of aluminum foil
“It should not have aluminum in it. I have found that people with brain diseases like Alzheimer’s have tremendous amounts of aluminum in their body. I actually don’t use aluminum foil to cook anymore, because it gives off noxious fumes that are not healthy. You have to line it with parchment paper if you need to use it, but I don’t. I grew up with my dad barbecuing and wrapping up big potatoes and corn on the cob in foil. But he has Parkinson’s, and a lot of his friends have dementia. And that’s actually not normal. It’s not something that comes with age, it comes with an environmental exposure”.
Turn off your WiFi and electronics periodically
“I installed as an on off switch next to my bed. The last thing I do is turn off the WiFi. I can sleep all night without those electromagnetic fields buzzing around my head and discombobulating my natural energy field, which is in perfect harmony with the earth’s energy fields”.
Buy organic
“The food in my house is always organic. I realize that organic can be more expensive, though it’s readily available at Costco or Walmart. But I would rather have an organic chicken once a week and eat vegetarian, stuff like rice and beans, the rest of the week”.
Find non-toxic candles or use essential oil diffusers
“Don’t use anything that has long lasting smells. I see these commercials. I don’t want to name names but they show people spraying the carpet and spraying the couches right next to the family dog. They’re saying this cleans the air and clears the air. That’s BS. It’s full of phthalates, which mask the air. The more you expose yourself to products that have smells to them, the more you’re asking for a lot of problems including bladder cancer. When I’m in an Uber or something and they’ve got that pine thing hanging from the rearview mirror, I ask them to put it in the glove compartment. I can’t even smell it. It’s so horrible. Once you detach yourself, you won’t be able to use things like that, or candles. Or plugin room deodorizers, or sprays for your furniture. You won’t be able to put those things in your laundry that are supposed to make it smell like springtime. It’s all it’s all carcinogens and toxins. It’s eroding your immune system, and aiding and abetting in your getting ill”.
Make your own natural cleaning solution
“We refill plastic bottles that were once filled with Seven Generation – which is eco-friendly – with white vinegar and peppermint essential oil. Peppermint oil is antibacterial. You can also use alcohol with peppermint essential oil. Or do lemon and water. Tea tree oil is good too; it’s anti-bacterial. And baking soda. You can use it for scrubbing if you mix it with a little bit of water and lemon juice. And it’s so much cheaper, that way you can make up for paying a little extra for organic food. You can reduce your expenses by not buying all of this stuff”.
Switch to a natural, non-toxic toothpaste
“If you’re still using a toothpaste that says on the back “do not swallow”, or “call poison control”, you’ve got to walk away from that toothpaste. How counterintuitive is it that I’m brushing my teeth every day, and they’re saying that it has chemicals in it that are toxic? I use a toothpaste that actually has prebiotics in it to help support the microbiome in my mouth. We have to start thinking about that and realizing that the mouth is connected to the whole body. It’s not a separate anomaly. The mouth is the beginning of your digestive system and the gateway to disease”.
As you can see, Fran has so much knowledge from personal experience and the extensive research she’s done. She is such a bright light in this world and is working to change the way we approach health and wellness. If you would like to take a deeper dive into detoxing your home or learn about the Cancer Schmancer movement, please visit her website! Be kind and stay well.
For more information on Fran Drescher and her work, visit the links below:
After 29 seasons of Dancing with the Stars, you could say that trailers have been my home away from home! Much like an office, I spend most of the day in my trailer with my team getting ready for the show. And if you know me, you know that I like creating spaces and work environments that bring me comfort, joy, and peace. So, without further ado, here are my 16 trailer must-haves!
1. My DWTS Binder
The first thing I look at when arrive to set is my binder. I couldn’t get through the day without this thing! It has all of the information the judges need, like our schedule, show order, the songs, and cast bios. If we need to refer back to something, all of the information is in one place.
This is my 30th season using a trusty Moleskine notebook. They are my absolute favorite, and I always have one on stage with me to take notes during performances.
I can’t write in my Moleskine without these pens. They write super smoothly and dry fast, which is important while I am quickly scribbling notes in the dark.
As you can see, I love office supplies, and one thing I can’t go about my day without is a highlighter. It’s the simple things in life!
5. Candles
Candles are one of my favorite ways to make a space my own. A scent I have loved for years is Voluspa’s Bergamot Rose. I always have one burning! I’m also a fan of Voyage et Cie’s Tuberosa. Both are staples in my trailer right now.
I use a rose quartz gua sha tool to massage my face. It helps with lymphatic drainage, and at 53 you’ve gotta keep things fresh and glowing any way you can!
It’s important to keep your lips moisturized, but even more so when your job is to talk! One of my favorite balms is this mocha rose scented one by Smith’s. I carry it everywhere and it smells like candy!
Scents do so much to boost our moods and calm our minds. I like to roll on a perfume before I walk to stage as a sort of pre-show ritual. One of my favorites is this scent from Byredo.
Flu season is upon us, so one thing I always like to have in my trailer is a bottle of oil of oregano capsules. I like to take these whenever I feel a cold coming on, and they have really worked for me!
10. Homemade Scented Mist
Since I don’t have a humidifier in my trailer, I have to keep the air moisturized somehow! I make this mist at home and it’s a great way to refresh a room:
Water
10 drops of eucalyptus essential oil
10 drops of lavender essential oil
I add this mix to a spray bottle and use it to refresh my trailer as needed.
I have been using Rusk since I was a Fly Girl! The Deepshine cream is moisturizing and gives my hair extra gloss before I go onstage.
12. Eyelashes
I’m a big fan of fake eyelashes. There are so many fun styles to play around with, and they always take a look to the next level. My makeup artist, Marylin, has a drawerful of them.
I have Sjogren’s Syndrome, so moisturizing is essential for me. Pure Fiji’s Body Butter is my favorite lotion by far. The scent is amazing and it just makes me happy! If you can’t tell… scents are a big thing with me. You have to do what you can to stick little moments of happiness in your day. This stuff is also the reason why people think my skin looks so moisturized!
This is my favorite face moisturizer, and promises plump and radiant skin. As you get older, you have to worry about these things! But this moisturizer really helps and feels so luxurious.
This little device lifts and tones your facial muscles. Those muscles need a workout too! I use it along my jawline and work upwards. As I’ve gotten older my routine has become a little more high maintenance, but skincare is ultimately about what makes you happy and helps you feel good in your own skin.
Sparkling water is a must, and my current obsession is the peach flavored Perrier. It’s delicious!
So there you have it. All of my trailer favorites in one place! I hope you find something that can be incorporated into your own work environment and spark a little joy. Simple pleasures can go such a long way in making a place feel like your own.
Humans have always found value in flowers, but in the Victorian era they became especially significant as a way to communicate. Each flower in a bouquet had a meaning in Victorian flower language, some of them incredibly intricate; “love at first sight,” “beautiful eyes,” and even “disappointment” were all sentiments you could share using the right blooms.
We can still use this beautiful style of symbology to make our own meaning out of flower arrangements, whether they’re for others or even just for ourselves. For a full list of flowers and their meanings, you can read an archived copy of Kate Greenaway’s 1884 book Language of Flowershere, but here are a few of our favorite ideas for incorporating this beautiful language into your arrangements.
For Romantic Partners
Via Unsplash
You probably know that red roses are a typical expression for romantic love, but there are so many other flowers that can convey how much you care about someone. In Victorian flower language, sending someone a bundle of bright red tulips is a bold declaration of true love.
Via Unsplash
The hibiscus means “beauty always new,” making it the perfect sentiment to show your partner how they look in your eyes. Giving someone this gorgeous tropical flower tells them that they take your breath away every time you see them.
Via Unsplash
Verbana, also called vervain, means enchantment. These delicate purple flowers are the perfect way to show your loved one how much you’re captivated by them.
Via Unsplash
A bouquet of dwarf sunflowers isn’t just a gorgeous burst of color to brighten your loved one’s day; the Victorian meaning of this flower is adoration. A gift of sunflowers tells the recipient that they brighten your life as much as the sun does.
Via Unsplash
Finally, it might not be hard to parse that the forget-me-not has a romantic message. This beautiful blue flower is a symbol for true love and gifting them to a special someone is a message that they’re always on your mind.
For Friends
Flowers don’t just have to be for romantic partners! A parcel of fragrant blooms can be the perfect way to show a friend that you’re thinking of them, or lift their spirits after a difficult day.
Via Unsplash
The ultimate symbol of friendship, a bunch of oak leaf geranium bloom literally means “true friendship” according to Victorian flower language. It’s the perfect plant to share with someone to remind them how happy you are that they’re in your life.
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The Victorians say that incorporating some fresh sprigs of peppermint translates to “warmth of feeling,” so be sure to include them the next time you’re sending something to a close friend for an extra sense of familiarity and well wishes!
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The bright and beautiful bluebell flower means constancy. When you send it to a friend, it indicates that you’re always going to be there for them no matter what— a great message to receive anytime.
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Fragrant jasmine blooms were used by the Victorians to mean “I am too happy.” They’ll serve you well if you want to send a bouquet congratulating a friend on a milestone or accomplishment.
For Someone Going Through A Hard Time
All of us experience hardships in our lives; it’s an unavoidable part of being human. It can be hard to know what to say or how to help someone going through a hardship but sending a simple gift of beautiful flowers can be a great place to start. Sending some of these flowers with special meanings can help the recipient know that you’re thinking of them and that you care.
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The flowers of the peace-bringing camomile plant have a very special meaning in Victorian flower language. These pretty white blooms are meant to symbolize energy in adversity, making them a very thoughtful gift for someone who is going through a hard time and finding themselves stretched thin.
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The Victorians used poppies to indicate consolation; sending it to someone is meant to give them some comfort and remind them that they’re not alone.
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If you’re trying to find the right bouquet to send someone on a tough anniversary of loss or hardship, lilacs are a beautiful choice. They stand for memory, assuring whoever receives it that their loss or pain is not forgotten.
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A bouquet of marigolds symbolizes the simple message of grief. They make a beautiful gift with a heartfelt and meaningful message for someone experiencing a hard time.
For Your Home
Flowers don’t just have to be meant as gifts for others— they’re also the perfect outlet for creating a little self love and brightening up your own home. Unlocking the language of flowers can help you inform the kinds of plants you bring home, allowing you to channel their secret meanings anytime you look at them.
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The complex looking lupine flowers have an equally fascinating meaning: this plant is meant to symbolize imagination. If you’ve been feeling uninspired lately, lupines are the perfect flower to help you remember your creative side.
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If you’ve been feeling down, try keeping some larkspur in your house. Larkspurs mean levity, meant to brighten spirits and keep things merry and light.
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Unsurprisingly, olive branches in a bouquet mean peace. You can channel this meaning by incorporating some peaceful olive into your own flower arrangements, allowing it to remind you that peace is an important thing to seek and maintain.
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Daisies, also known to the Victorians as Ox Eye, symbolize patience. If you’ve found yourself having a short fuse lately or forgetting to pause before speaking or acting, a simple bunch of fresh daisies can help to serve as a reminder of the value of stillness and taking things slow.
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In Victorian flower language, branches of juniper symbolize protection. In a bouquet, they’ll remind you to guard your energy and joy while you’re in your space.
In addition to being thoughtful gifts and a great way to add new life to your home, a bouquet of fresh flowers can also have so much meaning under the surface. Falling back on this elegant Victorian tradition can help you infuse some deeper thoughtfulness into the flowers you give others and the ones you keep for yourself.
Whether you’re in a creative field professionally or not, creativity is one of the most important parts of being human. No matter what outlet or form it takes, creative expression allows us to explore and understand our thoughts, experiences, and deeper impressions in a way that we otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Being creative helps us construct our own world and explore the way it looks through our eyes. We experience so many things every day, have millions of thoughts and feelings, and creative expression is the main way we’re able to get all of these ideas out of our heads. Spending time focusing on your own perspective can help you understand yourself and the world better, as well as increase your confidence; the more time you spend listening to your own deeper thoughts, the more you will come to realize that the way you view the world and the ideas you have are unique and important!
Getting In Touch With Your Creative Side
Creativity is important, but how do we get started? It can be so difficult to get motivated, or even know where to begin. If you’re feeling stuck, stagnant, or just feel lost without a routine, here are a few tips to start building creativity.
Try the “Blurt” Method
When you’re getting into a creative mode, one of the most important things to do is silence your inner critic. We’re so accustomed to editing ourselves and thinking about what others will think of us. But when we’re creating, we need to learn to let this voice go and give up on trying to control everything. Not every first idea will be brilliant, but getting them all out is the most important thing at first. In her writing book Bird By Bird, author Anne Lamott talks about the importance of a “sh*tty first draft.” She says that nobody, not even the most acclaimed authors, sit down and spin gold on their first try. The most important thing is simply to sit down and start. “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something— anything— down on paper.” The first draft is for getting everything down, she says, and the editing and fixing and polishing comes later.
This is true of any creative pursuit, not just writing. Whether you’re just starting out or have been pursuing an art form for years, don’t let yourself get caught up in trying to be perfect. This is where the “Blurt” method comes in. If you’re trying to write something, simply sit down with a pen and paper and just write down whatever comes to mind without trying to self edit. The important thing is getting everything out so that later you can make connections. If you’re drawing, just let your pen or pencil wander, creating whatever shapes are appealing to you until it starts turning into something you want to create. If you’re dancing, just start moving, and if you’re singing or writing music just start with the sounds you feel like creating. Trust the process and know that even when these first attempts are messy, they’re simply the first steps towards something that’s going to be great.
Start Journaling
Keeping a journal is a great way to keep track of your thoughts and feelings each day. We experience so many things every day; simply getting down a record of things that happen and the way they make you feel can be so helpful. Not only does it help provide a record of your life to turn to when you’re looking for inspiration but it will also train you to be more mindful throughout your days, remembering more and more things that are significant or interesting.
Designate A Time For Creativity
In this day and age, distractions are hard to escape from. We have screens with us at all times, vying for our attention and eating away at our time. One of the easiest ways to get more creative is just to make it more of a priority. Set a time for creativity every day (or every week, whatever feels right) where you put all distractions aside, turn your phone off, and put your whole energy into being creative. The more often you commit to this kind of schedule, the more your mind will start to catch on and get used to switching into creative mode on command.
Get Moving
Time and time again, we’ve seen that moving around is one of the best ways to problem solve and get creative. The physical act of moving helps us feel like we’re moving through whatever obstacles or blocks we’re experiencing in our minds. As soon as you start moving, something you’ve been trying to work out for hours with no success might suddenly become clear and straightforward. Whether it’s pacing around your house or getting out for a jog, putting your body in motion can help your brain make new connections. When we spoke to author Alex Kahler about his process, he shared that going for a long walk was one of his favorite methods for engaging his creativity.
Revisit Your Favorite Work
It can seem counterintuitive to look at someone else’s work when you’re trying to create something original, but getting in touch with something you truly love can be a great place to start if you’re feeling stuck. Whether it’s a favorite book, movie, painting or song, pay attention to what you love about it and how it makes you feel. This can often help reveal more about what you’re hoping to create, giving you some inspiration for the feelings you hope to invoke with your own work.
Try A New Medium
A great way to invite more creativity into your life is to switch things up. If you’re used to drawing or painting, see what writing a brief essay or piece of prose unlocks for you. If you’re more of a writer and less of a visual person, getting loose with some watercolors or experimenting with an instrument could give you fresh inspiration or a fresh sense of satisfaction.
Learn About Something New
If you’re feeling fresh out of ideas, it can be helpful to stock up on inspiration. Pick up a book about a new subject, put on a documentary or even just dive into something new on Wikipedia. You never know what new piece of inspiration will spark a new idea or connect to something you’ve been pondering for a while.
Pick Up A Book About Creativity
There are so many great books about engaging your creativity; why not seek out advice from the experts?
In Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and City of Girls, shares about her creative process and encourages readers in discovering their own regardless of their life path. This book is full of encouragement to embrace creativity, break free from the fear of failing, and find the special magic within each of us.
Steal Like An Artist is a great book with tons of bite-sized pieces of advice for readers who like books that are a bit less linear. Stocked with tons of quotes, analogies and explainers, this books is perfect to pick up whenever you’re looking for a fresh dash of inspiration.
Just like with any other practice, self care in creativity is vital. Stacie Bloomfield’s guide provides the perfect reminder to not take our mistakes too seriously. Full of gorgeous illustrations and stories, this book can help you remember to take a breath and hold love for yourself as well as the creative process.
Who better to consult on the process of creativity than one of the creators of Monty Python? As a lifelong writer, John Cleese has so many pearls of wisdom to lend about getting into a creative mindset and embracing inspiration. Without being too long or overbearing, this book is a fun yet practical aid for having fun with inventing something new.
No matter what format, medium or venue you’re drawn to, creativity has something to offer each one of us. It can help us learn more about ourselves. give us an outlet to express ideas that are hard to pin down and it can give us an escape from everyday life. I hope some of these tips help you capture the magic of creativity in your own life.
Flowers and live plants can be the perfect gift to send someone to let them know you’re thinking of them. A gorgeous bouquet will put a smile on any recipient’s face, while a small live plant will continue to grow and serve as a living memory of your affection. Sometimes, though, the logistics of delivering flowers or a plant to a loved one get tricky, especially if you live far away from them. Locating a local florist that serves their area or checking the logistics for shipping can be a hassle. Luckily, there are so many great online destinations that can deliver flowers and other greenery wherever you need it to go so that they arrive looking vibrant and fresh. Whether you’re looking for an affordable bouquet or want to brighten someone’s day with a new houseplant, these online stores will help you send a small token of affection to someone you care about.
The Sill is one of the most prominent online destinations for live plants, with a wide selection and easy-to-navigate inventory. Whether you’re looking for a low maintenance succulent or a luxurious monstera, The Sill has options for every personality and experience level.
Proflowers.com offers beautiful bouquets for every occasion from birthdays to sympathy to “just because.” The flowers tend to arrive as buds, meaning your recipient will get to watch them bloom and have them for much longer than your average grocery store bouquet. Proflowers even has options for next day arrival, meaning you’re never too late to show someone in your life a little love.
If you’re looking to browse a lot of options, Urban Stems is a great place to start. Urban Stems delivers flowers, live plants, and even dried flower bouquets that last longer and don’t need any water. Urban Stems can also include other mini gifts in your purchase, so you can shower your loved one with care package extras like sweet treats, candles and lotions. Urban Stems also offers a few subscription plans, so if someone you care about loves to keep a fresh vase of flowers in their home, Urban Stems can deliver.
Bloom Nation helps you source local florists wherever you’re delivering your flowers to make sure you have the best options available. This means you’re sending love while also investing in local businesses at the same time!
Plants.com offers live plant gifts for every occasion, whether you want an animal-shaped planter to send as a birthday gift or a big succulent arrangement for a housewarming party. If your loved one is more of a DIY-er, Plants.com will also deliver a terrarium they can put together on their own!
If you’re looking for gorgeous, colorful options of flowers to deliver, Teleflora has you covered. They offer bouquets in almost every color palette that are perfect for any occasion— one of their more interesting offerings is a birthday cake made out of flowers!
In addition to selling all sorts of gardening and outdoors supplies, Terrain has many plants and flowers that can be delivered anywhere. From simple bunches of flowers to potted topiaries, Terrain specializes in upscale gifts that will add a little something to your loved one’s home.
Succulents are a great gift option; they’re inexpensive, don’t take up much space, are easy to care for and can be combined into bigger arrangements! Sending a little succulent can be a quick and easy way to show you care and anything from Leaf & Clay’s collection are sure to charm the recipient. For a little something extra, you can even give the gift of a succulent subscription or a mystery box.
A bit more eclectic, Modern Sprout does offer a few live plants, including an ‘artisanal chef’ collection of herbs that would make the perfect addition to your favorite chef’s windowsill. But where the store really shines is in its interesting gift selections, including grow kits, herb jars and seed poppers, perfect for out-of-the-box gift ideas for the plant lover in your life.
Delivering flowers or plants can be such a special way to remind someone you’re thinking of them even when you’re far away. Giving the gift of a little life and beauty can celebrate any occasion or help to provide a little light and comfort in darker times. Hopefully these sources will help you get the perfect arrangement to your loved one when it’s needed most.
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