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Have you ever just realized that your mood is feeling off but don’t know why? Our emotional state is made up of so many components and sometimes we can find ourselves feeling negative without knowing where it’s coming from or how to solve it. Our outlook can impact our whole day and if you’re not feeling your best it can affect everything from your physical wellbeing to your productivity to your personal relationships. In an ideal world, we’d always feel our best but the truth is that our energy levels and emotions are always in a state of flux. Sometimes, all it takes to give your mood a boost is a simple change, whether it’s introducing a new scent or your favorite color or getting your body moving.

Easy Ways To Boost Your Mood

Our feelings are complicated things, and it’s not always easy to change the deeper thought patterns or situations that impact our mindsets. Sometimes big stressors or complicated situations can weigh heavily on us, and there is no obvious “fix.” However, there are definitely small things that can impact our outlook for the better or the worse. You might not even realize how parts of your environment have been effecting you until you look for them; here are a few small ways you can give yourself a mood boost if you’re feeling stagnant or low.

1. Play Some Music

Music tends to speak to us in a different language and can provide a shift almost instantly. It’s hard not to feel a boost in your mood when your favorite music is playing or an upbeat song is pumping up your energy. Music can have such a strong effect on your environment and with the right songs you can turn your whole day around. If you don’t already have one, try creating a playlist of all your favorite feel-good music so you can reach for it anytime you want to change the vibe while you’re working, running errands, or just taking a break.

2. Get Moving

If you’re feeling downbeat or stagnant, a simple solution is just to stand up and move around. Especially as many of us work from home, it’s easy to get into a slump where you’re sitting in the same place for large chunks of the day and it can have a very negative impact on your mood. Simply getting up and jogging in place, doing some jumping jacks or doing a full-body shake can help wake your body up and change your energy. Even better, get outside for a quick walk; in addition to the endorphins you’ll produce from moving, your body will also benefit from the fresh air, sunshine, and change of scenery.

3. Make Sure You’re Fed, Hydrated and Comfortable

Sometimes our physical bodies have needs that we can forget to check in with. Have you ever realized that you’ve been hungry or thirsty or even just needed a trip to the restroom and you’ve been subconsciously putting it off? Our bodies can’t do their jobs unless we take care of them. If you ever feel a sudden downward shift in your mood, make sure all your physical needs are being met. A quick break from screens, a snack, or a drink of water can work like magic to boost your mood.

4. Reach Out To A Friend

Sometimes we can get into a negative mindset due to being isolated; without anyone to bounce our thoughts off of or lend perspective, even small obstacles can start to feel overwhelming. As humans, we need connection and community to function and feeling cut off from other people can have a big effect on our ability to live a happy and healthy life. Especially as many of us spend more time alone due to the pandemic, it’s vital to maintain ties with the people who know us best, even if they’re far away from us right now. If you’re feeling not quite yourself, make some time to call or Skype a loved one. It’s always important to remind yourself of the people in your life who love and care about you and it can always be helpful to have access to someone else’s perspective.

5. Light A Candle Or Spray Your Favorite Scent

Much like music, scents can have a powerful effect to boost our mood and our spaces. They have a strong connection to our memories and can remind us of times where we felt incredibly safe or at peace. Certain essential oils can also have all kinds of benefits from improved focus to calmed nerves to increased energy in addition to simple comfort. Lighting a candle or breaking out the essential oils can be a great way to break out of a funk and completely transform your space to be more comforting or stimulating.

6. Make A Quick Gratitude List

Gratitude is always a great solution if you’ve been feeling frustrated or sad. We have a tendency to discount the things that are good in our lives, especially when something bad is on our minds; making a list of things you’re thankful for is an easy way to bring those good things back to the center of your perspective. Remembering to be thankful for things like loved ones, achievements, or even access to a comfy bed or your favorite foods can help bring a negative outlook back into balance. Whenever you’re feeling down, try getting out some paper or a journal and jotting down five or ten things you’re thankful for today and keep it somewhere where you can look at it again whenever you need a reminder of the blessings you have.

7. Change Your Space

If you ever feel like you’re in a rut, look for little ways you can change your surroundings. If I start feeling stuck, I try to move around and reposition my furniture to invite new energy and get rid of stagnation. Sometimes a little change can be invigorating and help you feel more in control of your environment. Making little changes in the things you see every day, whether it’s changing out your art, adding a burst of color or clearing out cluttered shelves or closets, can make your space feel brand new and boost your spirits in a whole new way.

Watch Out for Negative Mood Shifts

Changing your mood from negative to positive can be easy at times, but be cautious because the inverse is also possible. Have you ever experienced a minor setback and had it ruin your entire mood? It can be really easy for us to lose perspective. Science says that we have a tendency towards negativity bias— negative experiences can be much more impactful on our moods and stay longer in our memories than positive ones. That’s why it’s so important to protect ourselves from negative emotional blowback. Here are a few emotional traps we can fall into and how to avoid them:

• Getting Discouraged By A Setback. Sometimes if you aren’t able to accomplish something you wanted to or a plan goes wrong in an unexpected way, it can cast a shadow over your whole day. When this happens, try to think of the big picture— will you still be thinking about this setback in five years? Try listing five good things that happened this week. Seeking out context will help to keep this negative event from getting overblown in your mind.
• Feeling Bored Or Stagnant. Boredom isn’t always a big event, but after a while it can start to have a really negative effect. We can start to feel directionless or forget our own passions or creativity. We can even start to believe that, because we’re bored, that life must be boring. This line of thinking can trick us into blinding ourselves to the interesting, stimulating and enjoyable parts of life. One way to keep boredom from seeping in is just to make a list of things you like to do: things like hobbies, projects, things on your to-read list or new nearby places you’d like to see. Keep this list in a prominent place so you can reference it whenever you feel bored or under-stimulated and see how it helps to boost your mood back up again.
• Getting Caught In A Comparison Trap. A lot of the time, we have a tendency to look around at others to judge how we are doing. It’s in our nature to learn from others about how to move forward through life, but comparison can quickly become a poison that can ruin our ability to see the value in our own paths. If seeing a friend or colleague’s recent success or milestone on social media makes you feel bad about your own accomplishments, take a step back. Try to remember that you have no idea what that person’s life looks like and that we only post our best moments online. It’s not fair to compare your entire life to someone else’s highlight reel. Try to quickly make a list of five things you love about your life that you would have envied in someone else five years ago and see if your urge to compare starts to fade a bit.

Sometimes having a positive outlook can feel easier said than done. We can be so much more susceptible to changes in energy than we are prepared for; sometimes the smallest things can impact our perspective without us even being conscious of it. The good news is that these details can also work to help us; if we take care, we can do small things every day to protect and cultivate positivity, helping us to boost our mood and brighten our energy when we need it.

Sometimes, when life gets messy and confusing, it’s easy to lose track of your own feelings and desires. In those times it’s important to reconnect with ourselves and realign with our hearts. Some people call it connecting with your inner child, some people call it listening to your heart, some people say it’s letting your soul speak. Whatever you want to call it, a crucial part of living a full and happy life is stopping to make sure you’re open to hearing what your innermost self is trying to say.

Here are 8 ways to connect with your deeper self if you’ve had a hard time listening to your heart.

1. Take A New Approach To Journaling.

Journaling with your left or non dominant hand allows your mind to step out of your usual thought process and can help make connections with your deeper thoughts and needs.  When I need to hear from my innermost self, I ask myself a question and then let my non dominant hand reconnect me to my desires. Spend as much time as you need and pay attention to what comes up.

2. Let Your Feelings Out Visually.

A creative way to listen closer to your heart is to ask yourself a question and then sit down and draw. Try not to think consciously about what you’re creating; let it be scribbles, let it be messy, let it be authentically your own.  Take time to walk away and then come back and look at your drawing with fresh eyes.  You will know what you were trying to say. Even if you can’t extract an exact message from your subconscious creation, it can help you see what you were feeling that will point you in the right direction.

3. Access Movement.

Listen to a song you love, turn the lights down low and move.  Don’t make a particular effort to stretch or dance or anything else. Let your body move and sway however it wants, and don’t judge yourself— there are no mirrors in this exercise.  Give yourself permission to be free.  You may just sit there and move your neck to the music.  That’s okay, as long as you allow that music into your heart, connecting to the notes, the  melody, the lyrics. Take a deep breath and move.  You may run in place until you are exhausted.  You may just shake your body and release any tension, you may sway, you may begin a slow dance with an imaginary or real partner. You may just move one finger, or maybe just the corner of your mouth with turn upward, or a tear may dance down your cheek.  Whatever happens, allow it and accept it and love it as the artistic and authentic expression it is.

4. Try Some Meditation.

Ohm…. If listening to your heart is difficult, another thing to try is turning on a meditation track, a playlist with ohms, or just quiet meditative music.  Go into the stillness.  Try to visualize your heart in the middle of your chest.  See it beating, thank it for giving you life every day.  Thank it for pumping blood and life energy throughout your body.  Thank it for never stopping. Really try to see it, and connect to what keeps you alive every day.  Then, after you feel it and have expressed gratitude, just listen.  Breathe easily and listen.  There may be nothing it wants to say, but even by giving your heart this kind of attention, you will be listening and gaining an understanding even if your cognitive mind doesn’t grasp it.  You will feel more connected if you do this. Take your time.  It’s interesting to look into your own self this way, and it’s good to get to know yourself truly from the inside out.

5. Look To Your Memories

Look through a photo album, a stack of your old polaroids, or your phone’s camera roll until one of your photos calls to you. Spend some time with it, looking at every detail, gleaning every feeling from it, and then pick up a pen and some paper to write it all out. Think about what drew you to it— is it connected to a cherished memory? A favorite place or person? What about it elicits emotions? By spending time with a memory that called out to your heart and delving deeper into the feelings there you are honoring your deeper self.

6. Have A Meaningful Conversation With A Friend.

A good way to listen to your heart is to talk to a close friend about what is going on in your life, or a problem you’re having. Sometimes opening up to someone you trust can bring new clarity to a situation. They may bring up something that you hadn’t even thought about, or lead you down a path that broadens your perspective. They may help to clear the extraneous details or worries that are bogging you down and keeping you from truly listening to yourself. Often your friends know you better than you think they do, so turning to them might be exactly what you need to see something more fully.

7. Listen To Your Instincts.

If you have an immediate gut reaction to something, positive or negative, stop for a moment and listen. Ask yourself why you’re having these feelings and what led to them. Maybe write them down, or just take a few moments to hear what your intuition is trying to tell you. Our instincts are there for a reason and it’s important to acknowledge them. Recognizing your own thought process and what got you there can be a great tool in understanding yourself. Sometimes we need to step outside of ourselves for a moment, otherwise it can be so easy in the busy lives we lead to cruise on autopilot.

8. Go For A Walk.

There are many studies on how walking can improve brain function. So many leaders and thinkers have described the feeling of struggling with a problem for hours, only to discover the solution after taking a walk. If you feel stuck or need a change of perspective, going outside and getting yourself in motion can help your subconscious speak up and offer clarity. Let your heart lead the way on your walk and see where it takes you. Pay attention to where it lingers— does it pause at a particularly beautiful rosebush or guide you to a nearby park? Little clues that your inner self offers as it guides you can help you figure out what you need the most.

Although it seems simple and straightforward, listening to your heart can often be more elusive than you’d expect. Many experiences in life can leave us disconnected from our feelings, or encourage us to suppress or push them down. It’s important to stay in touch with our deeper selves. If you’ve been having a hard time paying attention to your emotions or inner voice, hopefully one of these techniques can help to bring your heart closer to the surface.

Each of us at Carrie Ann Conversations is on our own path to wellness, and for each of us this has involved or continues to involve going to therapy to help us live our best lives. We know that there are many who are wary of therapy, or who don’t have the means to see a therapist right now, so we wanted to share some of the best lessons we’ve taken away from therapy with you.

1. Avoid “Gaslighting” Yourself.

Welp! I was blown away by this when my therapist told me this. I was so tough on myself in the way I spoke to myself that he considered it gaslighting. Since then I have been very careful about the way I talk to myself. Most of the time I am positive, but deep inside of me there is a very dark, very hurt part that feels like she is not enough. I have struggled with this most of my life. I have always felt different, and unlike other people. I have always known that the way my mind works is a bit different than others. I have come to a peace with this and have learned to accept my ‘different-ness.’ But every once in a while I will have an experience that makes me frustrated with the way my mind works, I get stuck, or caught, or confused and I feel shame about myself and it makes its way into my self-talk. I didn’t realize how incredibly negative my self-talk could be until I shared it with my therapist. He was surprised to find that I had such negative self-talk, but once we shed some light on it and gained an understanding of the thought processes behind it, it became easier to stop the negative pattern in its tracks. It can be so easy to slip into negative self-talk and harm ourselves in this way, and sometimes it can take an outside perspective to show you how warped that self-talk can become. Be careful of the language you direct towards yourself and ask if you would say that to a close friend— you deserve the same love and respect as anyone else! —Carrie Ann

2. “Fight or Flight” Can Actually Help You.

My therapist once told me that anxiety is your brain reacting to normal incidents (a disagreement with a coworker or roommate, an unexpected setback) as if they are physically threatening your safety. Your body releases a lot of adrenaline to help you fight or fly from what it perceives as a very real danger; sometimes physically moving can help you burn off these chemicals and help your heart stop racing. Whether it’s taking a walk or just pacing your room, a little movement can help your brain get back on track. —Becca

3. Check Your Anxiety Against Reality.

If you’re really anxious about something, journaling or listing your worries out doesn’t mean you’re giving them life. Sometimes I have the tendency to go to the worst possible outcome in my head, and my brain can get pretty creative with how something is going to go sideways. By writing your worries down, you have the ability to check back at the end of the week and see if any of them actually came true. Most of the time they haven’t, and this can help retrain your brain to stop the worries in their tracks.— Ellyn

4. Shift Your Perspective Back Onto You.

Often the tendency is for me to go in and talk about things that happened to me, or something that triggered me throughout the week. And an old pattern is to want to say, “Why did they do that?” That is not something anyone but that person can explain, so my therapist isn’t going to be able to answer that kind of question. Instead, he can help me shift my thinking back to what I can do something about, which is my thinking and my reaction, and the “why’s” become more about me and less about them. This shift in perspective always brings me peace because the world feels less overwhelming when I am only worried about my reaction to it rather than worrying how to help, fix, or change everyone else. I was always taught to help others which put me in the background. This tip from my therapist to focus on me may sound egocentric, but it’s actually healthy to look at your actions or emotions when trying to understand why a situation was so painful, difficult or triggering in general. —Carrie Ann

5. Don’t Fight Panic.

I used to occasionally have panic attacks, and once I knew what they were, they became much easier to move through. My therapist told me not to fight them, but to recognize them and know that they would end. If I felt one coming on, I would say to myself “Okay, this is just a panic attack. It will be over soon and I will be okay”. Simply recognizing the fact that it was panic allowed me to focus on deep breathing and not let thoughts like “Oh my god what’s happening!! This is horrible!!” keep swirling through my brain. — Ellyn

6. Have Empathy For Your Anxiety.

Having dealt with anxiety for most of my life, I often deal with anger and frustration over my own anxious thoughts. I often feel like they make me weaker and I’d be a better, stronger person without them. My therapist once told me that having resentment for this side of me and trying to ignore or suppress it isn’t always the best option because these thoughts, to some extent, will always be a part of me. She explained that I developed these thoughts for a reason; my more cautious side is just trying to look out for and protect me, even if it’s not always doing the best job. She told me to thank this side of myself when it brings me things to be concerned about and respectfully tell it, “thank you for bringing this to my attention but I don’t think this is something I need to put my energy towards.” This puts me back in the driver’s seat while treating my anxious side with compassion and respect instead of self-loathing. — Becca

7. Speak Up For Your Inner Child.

Often when we are upset about something, or frustrated, it is because we haven’t spoken up in a way that takes care of the little child inside of us.  As we become adults, we are now in charge of our own welfare.  And it’s important that we speak up for what we need, and to express how we are feeling. It’s important for us to ask, “What is the little child inside trying to say?”  If we communicate out of that desire to take care of ourselves in a loving and compassionate way, we do not need to act out like a child.  If we speak up for them, that child doesn’t have to act out or throw a tantrum, or feel like withdrawing into safety is their only option for coping with the amount of anxiety and discomfort they feel.  When the inner child feels safe, we as adults will feel more connected and cohesive in this world.  And we will be better able to show up in the world in a more honest way.  We all have experienced trauma as children. That’s the process of growing — facing difficult things  and moving through them.  When we speak up for our inner child in a mature and “adult” fashion, we heal.  And we welcome and show that child we love and accept them as they are.  We show them that they are worthy of being protected and that is very healing. — Carrie Ann

8. Add A Little Humor To Your Self-Talk.

If you catch yourself in catastrophe mode, or thinking of all of the ways something could go awry, you can diffuse the situation in your own brain by adding a little humor. Saying something like “Wow you really got creative with that one didn’t you! Haven’t heard that one before. Ok anxiety, I see you,” can really take the life out of a thought. It takes practice to recognize the anxiety in the first place, but once you do, it’s easier to remove yourself from the situation that is your overactive imagination. —Ellyn

9. Watch Out For Black-And-White Thinking.

If your first reaction to a new circumstance, unexpected behavior or new person is to think “is this good or bad for me?” then you might have a tendency toward black and white thinking. It’s a trauma response designed to help us cope and survive, usually forged in times when quickly figuring out whether you are safe or in danger is very important. However, in many situations this need to distinguish can keep us from coming to the best conclusion. I used to spend whole days trying to figure out if a good friend doing something that hurt my feelings meant I could no longer trust them ever again instead of simply realizing that that friend is a human who is neither perfect nor evil and untrustworthy. It can feel safer and easier to put people and situations in big boxes labelled GOOD or BAD but the truth is that most things don’t and you could miss out on a lot by trying to see the world this way.—Becca

10. Sometimes We Need To Connect To Nature To Connect To Ourselves. 

We can often forget how much of a difference it can make to stay grounded. Human beings have been living in harmony with this planet for millennia, walking on the ground and staying in tune with it. While convenient, our modern lives often interrupt our ability to connect to nature in the same way that our ancestors did. Going outside and putting your feet on the earth is so important.  So is seeing nature, inhaling the aromas of the natural world we came from.  When you sit in nature, you remember your place in this world and it can be very soothing.  Whether it’s taking a hike, sitting at the beach, lying in your backyard looking at the stars or just standing in the morning grass with your bare feet… it reminds you of the beauty of the world in which we live and are a part of. — Carrie Ann

The benefits of seeing a therapist can be hard to quantify. The process of therapy can be long and we are all constantly growing and learning new things about ourselves. Many of the ways that therapy is helpful can feel very intangible or abstract; these breakthroughs are crucial and valuable, but there are also lightning-like moments where something finally clicks into place all at once. These are a few of the biggest “aha” moments we had in our journeys; we hope they are helpful for you in your own journey.