In the past year, my health has become so much more stable than it has been in the past five years or more. Many people have asked me, how did I do it? Well, the truth is, I didn’t do it alone. I worked hard and gathered an incredible team to help me make the best choices, and teach me ways to take better care of my health and chronic illnesses in a holistic way. Up until that point, I had been mostly managing pain, managing symptoms, and just trying to be well enough to get to my job and be my best for everyone else who depends on me. Over the course of the break I took last year to focus on my overall wellness, I learned the great value of having a supportive team. When most of us think of wellness, we think of our doctors. And if you’re a little more forward thinking, or were not raised on Western medicine, you may have an acupuncturist, chiropractor, or a masseuse on your team. But as we’ve discussed in our previous articles, there’s also another layer – our mental wellness and focusing on our dreams.
Coaches can be a great addition to your team, and I myself work with an ADHD coach who has taught me so much about the way my brain works. And that has lessened the stress that caused my autoimmune flare ups. I can’t say that it’s going to happen for everyone, but I will say it was a missing link in my puzzle. Also, working with the incredible Dr. Amen has helped me tremendously, as he was very consistent in my life and very proactive in every decision I made. He has met with me regularly since I called him that one night while he was watching Game of Thrones, and I was unsure if I was going to make it to the next day. Then there’s the Medical Medium, Anthony William, who has been my friend but has also been helping me with his incredible advice. He showed me which recipes and protocols from his books that I should follow, and helped me to realized that it was Epstein Barr syndrome that was wreaking havoc on my system. Then I have a person who works with me on my physical activity, my trainer, Michelle Lovitt. She also helps me manage the muscle tightness that comes along with my fibromyalgia, lupus, Sjogren’s syndrome, scoliosis, and spinal stenosis.
What’s important when you’re dealing with health or mystery illness, even if it’s just getting older, is to find the answers that make sense for you and give you lasting results. I thought that if you have an autoimmune condition, you go to a rheumatologist. You do everything they say, and that’s it. Then you go to a pain doctor and do everything they say. And then you go to the orthopedic surgeon and you get their advice. The truth is, it’s a combination of both and it takes an incredible amount of energy, focus, and note taking to come back from a mystery illness. This could even be long haul COVID or whatever you want to call it. Health has a lot to do with your own energy blueprint. I think it’s fascinating to approach my own health that way. And because of that new approach, my homeostasis in a much better place now. I’m eternally grateful for that and to all the people that are a part of my team.
So if you’re struggling with chronic or mystery illnesses, I suggest gathering a team. You need the support. You need their information, you need their years of studying, so that they can help you find the answers that work specifically for you. But they also need you to be proactive. You are the leader of the team, not the doctors. My wish for everyone is to have a life that feels good, and a life that is fulfilling. If you’re in constant pain, feel incredible lethargy, can’t focus, can’t sleep, are having unexplained panic attacks, or are so overwhelmed that you can’t keep your job, it’s time to start building your wellness team.
Here’s a list of my own personal wellness team, the types of people on it, and what I go to them for:
Rheumatologist – A rheumatologist is “an internist or pediatrician who received further training in the diagnosis (detection), and treatment of diseases that affect the muscles, bones, joints, ligaments, and tendons” (rheumatology.org). My rheumatologist helps me with my autoimmune conditions and he is the one who orders the blood tests to help me diagnose what is going on.
Functional Medicine Doctor – “Functional medicine doctors use specialized training and techniques to find the root causes of complex illnesses. They may investigate multiple factors causing a condition, or they may look into multiple conditions causing one symptom” (webmd.com). My functional medicine Doctor helps me think about my body as a whole, and what could be causing some of the symptoms, like Lyme Disease and other areas that the rheumatologist doesn’t cover.
Body Workers – Bodywork is “any therapeutic or personal development technique that involves working with the human body in a form involving manipulative therapy (like massage), breathwork, or energy medicine” (wikipedia.org). If you can afford to get some body work with a massage therapist, that is helpful to keep things moving. They can help alleviate pain and keep things flowing.
Pain Management Doctor – I believe in pain management. When you are in immense pain, it is difficult to be your own health advocate. In order to manage and heal from autoimmune issues, it takes a lot of work and concentration. I work with a pain management doctor, which is a specialist that “treats patients experiencing chronic, sometimes disabling, pain” (health.usnews.com).
Psychiatrist – Psychiatry “is the branch of medicine focused on the diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mental, emotional and behavioral disorders” (psychiatry.org). I work with Dr. Daniel Amen, who has helped me immensely ( see our conversation here) by using brain imaging. Seeing what is going on with my brain helps me to understand how to approach my own mental health. We look at it as brain health, and if we make the brain healthy, the rest will follow.
ADHD Coach – I work with an ADHD coach who helps me keep my stress levels down so that I don’t overwhelm my body and cause a flare up. She helps me find solutions for some of the problems I struggle with in life. ADHD coaches “work collaboratively with their clients who have ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms to address specific needs and personal goals” (chadd.org).
Reiki Healer – I work with a lot of energy workers. For me, it helps. “Energy medicine aims to help the flow of energy and remove blocks in a similar way to acupuncture or acupressure. Reiki practitioners believe that improving the flow of energy around the body can enable relaxation, relieve pain, speed healing, and reduce other symptoms of illness” (medicalnewstoday.com). As a dancer I am tuned in to my body’s energy so these types of healers have been helpful. But it doesn’t work for everyone.
Acupuncturist – I work with an acupuncturist as well. I have used acupuncture my whole adult life to help with injuries and keep my system running well. Acupuncture is “a system of integrative medicine that involves pricking the skin or tissues with needles, used to alleviate pain and to treat various physical, mental, and emotional conditions” (Oxford Dictionary). If you don’t like needles, this may not be for you. If not, you could use acupressure as an alternative.
My friends and family – This is the support group that we all need. Having friends that will listen or understand that sometimes you need extra help is wonderful. The unconditional love of family and friends is so important. Make sure you let them know how grateful you are… and how much you appreciate them. It’s not easy for people to understand what it’s like to live with autoimmune disease or chronic illness.
Online support groups – Sometimes you just need people who understand what it’s like to have the illness or condition you have. They can help give honest feedback about medications and side effects, and how it feels emotionally to have certain conditions. I am a member of the Sjogrens Sisters group and a Lupus and Fibromyalgia group. I can discuss openly some questions I have and get responses from other people who have the same symptoms I have. I have found these groups to be very helpful. Just remember that they are not experts in the field, but they are people who live with it. So do not follow any advice unless you clear it with your own doctor as well.
It’s also important to note that finding a good doctor might take some trial and error. Be persistent. A doctor should be empathetic, a good listener, and willing to be collaborative. If you don’t feel comfortable with a doctor or feel that they are dismissing any of your symptoms, try someone else. You should not have to fight to prove to a medical professional that you are experiencing pain or discomfort. You deserve perfect wellness, and don’t settle for anything less!
When was the last time someone told you (or you told yourself), “everything happens for a reason” or “it could be worse”? Maybe you were the person saying these things to a friend, which is something that we’re all guilty of. We’ve heard platitudes like these so many times that they slip off the tongue without a second thought. But what if seemingly positive statements meant to sooth us have the potential to do more damage than good?
HOW TO RECOGNIZE FORCED POSITIVITY
According to Medical News Today, forced or false positivity is “an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic”. It’s an idea that we see all over social media, but isn’t something so overtly wrong that our antennas go up. False positivity instead takes a more insidious approach, lulling our true emotions to sleep in a rush of flowery fonts and bright colors. We may not even notice how deeply the belief that we should “just focus on the positive” is ingrained in us until our emotions have reached a boiling point. So what exactly should we be watching out for, both in what we take in and how we speak to loved ones? Here is a quick list of phrases and affirmations that may actually be stunting your growth and putting a halt to any processing you need to do.
“It is what it is”
“Think on the bright side”
“Everything happens for a reason”
“It could be worse”
“Think positive”
“Just stay positive”
“It’s fine”
“Happiness is a choice”
“Don’t worry, be happy”
“The glass is half full, not half empty”
“We all have the same hours in a day”
“Good vibes only”
There’s nothing inherently wrong with these statements. It’s the way that they are used that can be damaging. Positivity is wonderful, and we all need a little bit of it – a positive quote can go a long way in cheering us up! However, using these statements to push down pain or feelings deemed as “negative” means that we are rejecting a fundamental human experience. Life is not without pain, anger, confusion, sadness, etc. Harvard medical school psychologist and emotions researcher, Dr. Susan David, said it best – “discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life”.
THE EFFECTS OF FORCED POSITIVITY
While it’s easier said than done, processing our emotions is a much better solution than telling ourselves or others that everything will work out in the end. It’s so easy to mask, reject, and replace our feelings with a quick fix. And if we go so far as to never process any discomforts, it’s possible that we’ve gaslit ourselves into a distorted reality. Unsurprisingly, this forced positivity actually stunts positive growth. We learn from hard situations and our reactions to them. If we never give ourselves the opportunity to take action, how can we expect to improve at all?
It’s even easier to project these false beliefs onto our friends or loved ones. “My best friend is feeling bad? I’ll tell them to look on the bright side and we’ll go out for margaritas. Problem solved”. Instead of listening to our friend, we assuage them with a pat phrase that sounds nice but doesn’t actually help in any meaningful way. Dr. Susan David describes this kind of situation as signaling to others that “my comfort is more important than your reality”. Essentially, you’ve projected a rose colored positivity filter onto someone else’s reality and negated their own experience.
Beyond minimizing and masking feelings (both in ourselves and others), forced positivity can eventually create a sense of guilt and shame every time we have one of those pesky “negative” emotions. “I’m a lucky person, I should be grateful for everything that I have. Others have it much worse. There’s no good reason for me to feel this way, I should be happy all the time”. Again, this type of thinking takes our humanness out of the equation, and leaves no room for self-compassion. We stop short of understanding why we feel a certain way and fall straight into a shame spiral.
WAYS TO BRING BALANCE
So, how can we more effectively process our own emotions and be there for the people we love when they are experiencing pain?
Hold space for your emotions. Notice them, acknowledge them, and listen to them. Same goes for friends and family. Sometimes listening and acknowledging is the first step to begin to process a situation and grow from it. Chances are your partner or your friend wants your support more than they want a solution.
Understand that you can hold multiple emotions simultaneously. Humans are complex, and we can’t expect our own feelings to be cut and dry. Give yourself grace when you don’t know how to feel, or are overwhelmed by your emotions.
Take stock of the messaging you are surrounding yourself with. If you think that those positivity social media accounts you follow are contributing to the problem, unfollow them. Don’t let an account dictate your reality.
Learn to be more aware of your thoughts and when you are actively avoiding something. If you’ve accepted a situation and are doing what you can to find positives within it, you’re probably ok. However, if you are avoiding the reality of a situation altogether, it’s time to reevaluate your thought process.
Don’t automatically judge yourself for not “making the best” out of a situation. Life can be hard, and not every situation needs to have something “good” come from it. Sometimes the most productive thing to do is to get through a situation as best you can. Learn what you can, acknowledge what you feel, and move on.
Positivity is double-edged sword. If used properly, it can uplift our spirits and get us out of a funk. But forced positivity can also mask pain and create mental health problems down the line. Next time you hear yourself saying “look at the bright side”, pause for a moment. Check in with yourself. You’re allowed to not be ok.
The conversation around mental health has really opened up in the last few years, moving us closer to normalizing getting help. And not only just getting help, but seeking a better understanding of yourself. Both coaching and therapy can be avenues to learn more about yourself and tackle any problems you’re experiencing. So how do you choose which one is right for you? What is the difference? If you’re stuck wondering if you need a therapist or a life coach, this article is for you!
WHERE TO BEGIN?
The first step in determining whether or not your situation is better suited towards a life coach or a licensed therapist is to know the difference between the two. In general, “psychotherapists direct the course of therapy by planning treatment and case management” and “coaches facilitate the client’s accountability in authoring the goals and action steps”, according to an article from the National Library of Medicine. Basically, life coaches can help you make action plans for specific goals and guide you through the process. They focus more on the “how” instead of the “why”.
This can be extremely helpful if you’re looking for help in a specific area. We’ve all experienced times of uncertainty, especially in our careers. Maybe you’re a 20-something that knows the direction you want to head but need a manageable, structured way to get there. Or maybe you don’t know what you want to do at all! A life coach that specializes in careers will help you explore your strengths and set achievable goals to build your confidence. If you’re seeking help with accountability and would like to create a structured plan tailored to you, a life coach might be the way to go!
Here’s a list of just a few of the types of life coaches out there:
Career
Business / Executive
Accountability
Learning Disorders (ADHD, Dyslexia, etc.)
Dating
Creativity
Health & Wellness
If you are finding that the difficulty with making changes in your life is “due to underlying emotional or relational problems” seeing a therapist might be more effective. Especially if you are experiencing “symptoms, somatic and/or psychological, driven by past experience” (Livingstone, National Library of Medicine). If there’s more to the situation than needing an action plan, or you’d like to explore yourself further, a licensed therapist can help to unravel anything holding you back.
Just like coaches, counselors also have specialties in the way that they approach therapy and treat patients. A therapist can pretty much do all the things a life coach can do, but can also dig deeper into more complex problems. Maybe you need some guidance in your career, but you know that anxiety is an underlying issue that could be affecting your growth. In this case, a therapist might be more beneficial than a life coach. They will be able to give you surefire tools to manage your anxiety while planning a course of action.
A good therapist can generally treat a very wide variety of issues, but some may have specialized training in certain areas. Below are just a few:
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
Anxiety
Depression
OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)
Relationships
Eating disorders
Grief
EMDR therapy for trauma (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing)
SAY WHAT? THE JARGON
Before you get into the search process, it’s important to understand the types of professional designations in therapy and coaching. Formal training is a big factor in differentiating therapists and coaches, and if you don’t know the jargon it can make the process that much more overwhelming. Looking up what every single acronym means is time consuming and can feel like a job! Luckily we’ve rounded up the terms you’re likely to see over and over again so the information you need is all in one place. Here’s a quick rundown of the most common types of therapists you can expect to find during your search:
Psychiatrist – A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor. They can diagnose psychological conditions and prescribe medication for them, as well as provide psychotherapy.
Psychologist – Some psychologists are research based and stay within the academic field. However, many specialize in counseling and go the route of treating patients. “A clinical or counseling psychologist is a mental health professional who attended graduate school and earned a doctoral degree in clinical psychology or counseling psychology. These degrees are followed by a clinical internship which is then followed by passing national and state exams and, finally, licensure by state” (Forbes).
LMFT – Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists generally treat a wide array of people, but specialize in marriage, relationships, and family dynamics. “Licensure as an LMFT requires a graduate degree, a period of supervised practice, and a two stage examination process” (mft-license.org)
LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Workers “hold masters degrees and work with individuals and groups to solve mental health and social problems, marshalling skills in both therapy and the traditional practical solutions that social services provide” (humanservicesedu.org).
Life coaches do not require licensing by the state, and therefore do not have a centralized set of standards. However, many life coaches get their designations from the International Coaching Federation (ICF). The highest designation is a Master Certified Coach (MCC). According to the ICF, they “are highly trained (200+ hours) and experienced (2,500+ hours) coaches. They have demonstrated knowledge and highly proficient application of the ICF Core Competencies, Code of Ethics, and definition of coaching”.
Finding a coach that is either an MCC or on the path to achieving an MCC designation seems to be the best bet in terms of confirming that the person helping you has undergone rigorous training and upheld a certain standard of practice.
THE SEARCH BEGINS
Now that you’ve determined whether or not you’d like to see a life coach or therapist, it’s time to start the search for one. It can be a daunting task, and is what stops a lot of people from getting help. This is especially true if you’re on the younger side and are laser focused on getting to a point where you are financially stable. Who has time for a therapist? I’ll think about it later when I have a house and a dog. That’s very important, but it doesn’t mean that your self development has to suffer. This is the time to explore, try new things, and get to know yourself. Easier said than done, but it’s all about taking one step at a time.
Below are amazing resources that make finding help as easy as the click of a button.
Psychology Today – This website has it all. Besides being a great resource for learning more about the field of psychology in general, the site has a search tool that allows you find therapists in your zip code. Beyond that, the search engine has a detailed filtering system, so you can narrow down results through specialties, gender, and insurance.
International Coaching Federation – The IFC website has its own database of coaches that all have credentials. If an MCC is too expensive, you can filter to find Associate and Professional Certified Coaches. They may have less professional hours than an MCC but that does not mean that they aren’t skilled at what they do!
Psychologist Locator by the American Psychological Association – If you have decided that you’d like to see a psychologist, this database is a surefire way to find one with amazing credentials.
Many people also find therapists and coaches through word of mouth. If you have a friend that raves about their therapist, ask if they’d be willing to give you their information. One of the great things about therapy and coaching becoming more mainstream is that it’s so much easier to talk about with your friends. But, don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel a connection with the person they recommend. Sometimes finding the right person takes more than one session, and there’s no “right” way to find help. Hopefully this article gave you the information you need to make an informed decision that is best for your wellbeing. You deserve nothing but the best!
Jim Curtis is an author, speaker, health coach, and Head of Business at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. He is a graduate of the Whittemore School of Business at the University of New Hampshire. He has been a wellness pioneer for the last 20 years, helping to develop WebMD, Everyday Health, and Remedy as well as publishing The Stimulati Experience : Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness(Random House).
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s February 17th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jim Curtis. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Wellness burnout. It’s a thing. When you’re flooded with opinions and options, looking for answers can actually leave you with more questions. The sheer amount of “cures” and information out there can be exhausting to sort through, especially when doctors can’t provide a clear diagnosis. Someone who probably knows this feeling better than most is our latest guest, author and health coach Jim Curtis. His story is fascinating and a testament to his resilience in fighting his invisible illness. Not to mention the persistence needed to advocate for yourself and your health. He’s tried it all, and turned that knowledge into a career in coaching and growing businesses in the health sector. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did!
Carrie Ann: My guest today is a really cool guy, and he’s been through a lot. I found him on social media when I came across his TED talk, and at that time I was going through a very, very difficult period. For all my autoimmune sisters and brothers out there, I was going through a really bad flare up. It was around the time that I had taken leave from “The Talk”. And his TED talk really inspired me. It’s called “The Cosmic Algorithm: Deciphering the Signs”. When I watched it, I was deeply moved, and I felt connected to him through his story.
He is a speaker, author, and is the Head Coach and Head of Business at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. His philosophy is really fascinating and it focuses on all facets of life – mental, emotional, spiritual, relationships, and career. I thought you all would love this conversation.
Thank you so much for being here today Jim, I’m very grateful to you for taking the time.
Jim Curtis: I’m so happy to be here, I’ve been watching your conversations. I saw the last one with Fran Drescher and I couldn’t wait to get on this conversation!
Carrie Ann: Thank you! Yeah, we talked about detoxing the home. So I have a nontoxic candle in the background. And I know you know all about detoxing because of your background. But I want to start with how I was introduced to you – I found you on Instagram, and came across your TED talk. I have lupus, fibromyalgia, and Sjogren’s syndrome, and I was in a really terrible flare up. I listened to your TED talk, and you talked about how you had gone through something similar. Would you mind kind starting there and telling people about your story, and how you came into this world of healing?
Jim Curtis: I love connecting with people that are going through chronic illness because I can understand it. There was a time when I was having all these symptoms, including paralysis in my legs, and I could not figure out what it was. I had a lesion on my spinal cord and it was inflamed, but we couldn’t figure out what it was and the treatments weren’t working. It was going on at a point in time where there were no communities to connect with. I was 20 years old – there wasn’t and Instagram or even YouTube where you could find a TED talk. So you felt alone, you felt really alone. You were in what I call survival mode, because you don’t know what’s happening to you. The fear of trying to figure it out just puts you in this survival mode where you shut down some of your emotions, otherwise you’d become so overwhelmed with it. But you still get hit with bouts of fear and a little bit of panic. That went on for me for 15 years, and then finally I was able to get out of it a little bit. I still walk with a little bit of a limp today, I still have some issues, but I’m no longer living in illness.
Carrie Ann: First of all, I’m glad to hear that you’re no longer living in “dis-ease” or illness. But it sounds like it was such an uphill battle for you, and probably took you having to become a seeker of knowledge, wellness, and answers. What was that path like for you?
Jim Curtis: I think you’re probably familiar with this too, you can always keep seeking right?
Carrie Ann: Yes! I’m a seeker.
Jim Curtis: I’m a seeker too. But at the time, I wasn’t a seeker and I just had a type A father and sister, who kept asking “did you go here? Did you go there? You have to go here”. I think I went to hospitals all around the country. Then I started to go to Europe, because I had a good family unit who wouldn’t let me not find out what it was. I think that once you start talking about your illness, especially today, everybody has a guy. Like, “I got a guy for you, you’ve got to see my guy, he cured this”. Everything from energy healing to Western medicine. Everybody always has a recommendation. You can choose to see those people or not. I was luckily in a position where I could say, okay, I’m just gonna say yes to everybody’s guy. I ended up seeing over 200 people, everybody from an Ecuadorian shaman to grandmasters of kung fu, to watsu (a combination of hydrotherapy in warm water and Shiatsu massage) and qigong healers (an ancient Chinese healing method that includes meditation, controlled breathing and movement exercises). I went all over the country and the world, from the Mayo Clinic to the East Village. I just kept searching. I think I found a lot of answers that kind of led me to where I am today.
Carrie Ann: You said you saw over 200 healers and professionals, and I relate to that so much. Right now I’m in the process of Lyme disease treatment. I just had oxygen IV ozone therapy, and it didn’t go so well. I’m kind of in a state of a conundrum right now. Sometimes, there’s so many healers and it can be confusing. From your point of view – because I’m going through it myself right now – what can I do to avoid that kind of confusion? I feel like I should just trust my intuition, but sometimes I get scared to do that.
Jim Curtis: I call it wellness FOMO (fear of missing out). Like, could there be a cure that I’m not willing to try? I’m gonna try it because I don’t want to miss out on that cure! I was doing it because I could, and because I was researching. I wanted to write a book. But at one point, I just said, no, I’m not seeing any more people. You could literally go down this rabbit hole forever, and sometimes you have to just stick with one thing. Even though it’s so enticing when someone says, “I have this new therapy, have you heard about it?”. And you want to just quickly go try it and spend more money and time investigating it. Sometimes you just have to say no, and reduce the amount of information coming into your head so you can focus on a few things that are working for you. That’s what I did.
Carrie Ann: I like that. Keep it small, just reduce, because it can be overwhelming. There are so many options right now. That’s one thing about social media, you have access to everything. I heard you say something about how you’ve got to do research when you’re working with people. Have you ever had a weird experience with a healer?
Jim Curtis: Yes. I believe that wellness is incredibly seductive. In the sense that you can be seduced into bliss. If someone offers you bliss, you want it. When you’re feeling sick, and someone’s like, “I have a solution”, you say, “yes, please can I have a solution”. But not everyone in wellness has good intentions. There’s a real practical side of this, and I learned this a number of times. So of the hundreds of people that I’ve seen, some were true masters and had energy, and some were people that positioned themselves that way to make money. The story that I tell sometimes is during the time period that I was saying yes to everyone, someone said there was a shaman in town who was working magic. It was really hard to get him, so you had to do some weird things. I said alright, fine, I’ll go bring $200 in cash and a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. I was like, alright, I’ve done weirder stuff than that.
I find myself in the East Village of New York City in the most rundown building ever, walking with my broken body up six flights of stairs to the top apartment. I’m pulling on the railing, and it literally comes off my hand and I stumble down a couple steps. I finally make it all the way up. The shaman has a translator there who tells me to take off all of my clothes and lay down on this map, and it was pretty dirty in there. I was like, “take off all my clothes, did I understand that right?”. And she says yes. So I did it. I’m laying face down naked while this guy is blowing Marlboro cigarettes across my body and beating me with a burning sage tray. So I just started laughing uncontrollably about the situation I had just gotten myself into. I had to find the humor in it. Because it was so bizarre that I was going through such lengths just to find that person that could heal me, that I started laughing. And of course, they thought that was the cure, that was me dispelling the negative energy. And perhaps I was, even if it wasn’t the intention. That definitely gave me some levity. I left there wrapped in newspaper under my clothes, so I didn’t let out the good energy as he instructed. But yeah, I would never do it again.
Carrie Ann: You left there wrapped in newspaper?
Jim Curtis: Yeah, he had me wrap myself in newspaper and then put my clothes back on. I wasn’t to remove the newspaper or shower for two days. So I went to work like that, crinkling every time I walked, and it didn’t work. Needless to say I wasn’t cured, but it was definitely enlightening in that you have to be careful. You have to be prudent.
Carrie Ann: That might be the best story I’ve heard. And I have experienced some very odd things. So I think I you win. I do love the levity of it all. I mean, I think that laughter is good medicine. Sometimes you do need those, as you said in your TED Talk, perfect place, perfect time moments. It’s sort of like that was a perfect place, perfect time for you to remember, okay, wait, maybe I don’t need to go see every single healer. And maybe the newspaper thing isn’t quite what I’m looking for. Maybe I need to trust myself a little bit more.
Something that I liked about your book, “The Stimulati Experience: Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness”, was how it’s written in your voice, which is a masculine voice. This is a voice we don’t often hear in the world of autoimmune disease. There’s not a lot of people out there who speak openly about this. You talked about hating yourself, and that you got to the place where you were in gratitude for your chronic illness. Now, that’s quite a journey. First of all, thank you for saying you hated yourself, because I think you gave me permission to honor the feelings within myself and everybody else who read your book. That’s a big part of this process. It’s okay to feel those feelings, but I love that you give us tools to get to the other side. What was that process like for you?
Jim Curtis: First you have to recognize that oh, my god, I really dislike myself, I hate myself, I’m not being good to myself, right? Because a lot of us do. The way we look at ourselves in the mirror can really cultivate low self-esteem. It’s a question of how do you get beyond that? One is awareness, you have to recognize that that’s what I’m doing to myself. That’s how I feel about myself. Now, how can I feel better about it? A lot of it is having some grace with yourself, finding the things that you actually like about yourself, and interrupting the negative talk. Literally asking yourself, “would I say this to my best friend?”. Also, it’s about doing the things that you say that you’ll do to build self-esteem. Oftentimes, when we begin to really dislike ourselves or feel not good enough, or just completely inadequate, we don’t do the things we say we’ll do. So just taking those small steps will increase your self-esteem amazingly.
In fact, in the “Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden, he talks about this. He gets into how you raise your self-esteem, and oftentimes it’s by living in integrity and doing the things that you say you’ll do. And then having a little bit of grace with yourself in terms of what you think that you’re faltering on. Then if you want to get to the metaphysical, you can create a fire burning ceremony, you could change your energy, you can do all the fun stuff, but there are really practical things to it.
Carrie Ann: Those are the things that I like to keep in my back pocket, like honoring your word. You could also read The Four Agreementsby Don Miguel Ruiz, I think he talks about having integrity with your word. What I’m learning more and more in this world of wellness and health, is that we’re all saying the same thing, just in a slightly different way. This is what I find so fascinating about what you do, because you are Head Coach and Head of Business at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. You guys create health coaches. I think this is what the world needs, because people are understanding that health takes effort, attention, and awareness. I believe it’s a right, a god given natural born right to have wellness. But I think that we weren’t taught how much work it takes, and people are now starting to see that.
I want to go back real quickly, because I’m fascinated by this one aspect of your journey. As a man who went through what you did, was it harder for you to be more open about it, because men are expected to be strong? I know that’s a very traditional thought and outdated. Have you experienced that?
Jim Curtis: Yeah, I have. I think it’s opening up a little bit more, there’s almost a renaissance of men being able to be vulnerable and get out of this kind of protector / provider paradigm. But when I was sick, I would actually tell people that I walked with a limp because I was in a motorcycle accident. It was more macho, and I didn’t have to be vulnerable. No one would ask me questions about my illness. I didn’t have to talk about it. It was this way of like being a macho man, instead of saying, well, you know, this is what I’m really dealing with. This is how it’s affecting me emotionally. Luckily, I feel like those things are changing a little bit. You have a lot of people on Instagram that are opening up and becoming more vulnerable men. But yeah, as a man that’s expected to be the protector and provider, it was hard.
Carrie Ann: Well thank you for being a path opener for people, and opening doors for people to talk. You were way ahead of your time.
What do you guys think about Jim’s story? Leave us a comment below if something in particular resonated with you! There are so many nuggets of wisdom to take from this interview. Wellness burnout might be unavoidable in your own path to health, but people like Jim have been creating ways to avoid the pitfalls and unnecessary trips to shamans.
For more information on health coaches and classes at IIN, follow the links below!
Jim Curtis is an author, speaker, health coach, and Head of Business at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. He is a graduate of the Whittemore School of Business at the University of New Hampshire. He has been a wellness pioneer for the last 20 years, helping to develop WebMD, Everyday Health, and Remedy as well as publishing “The Stimulati Experience : Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness” (Random House).
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s February 17th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jim Curtis. It has been edited for length and clarity.
The path to becoming a healthier version of you can be confusing, and at times, scary. We are constantly inundated with the latest cure-all trends, fad diets, and practices that all claim to be the answer. The truth is, what works for some people may not work for you, and the popularity of the wellness space has inherently attracted people who are solely interested in your money. Without guidance, it can feel like navigating a minefield. Enter experienced professionals who have tried it all so you don’t have to, or health coaches. These are the people that schools like the Institute for Integrative Nutrition train, and the demand for them has only been growing. So, what exactly is a health coach? What is their role in your wellness journey? Jim Curtis, the Head Coach at IIN, was kind enough to give us an overview of his profession and why health coaching involves a lot more than just diet.
Carrie Ann: I think people are starting to discover how vulnerable we are as people after two years of living with this pandemic. I’m so excited to share what you do, because I think people are going to be much more in need of health coaches. Could you explain a little bit about the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and if you think there’s going to be a boom in the need for health coaching?
Jim Curtis: Oh, there already is. Health coaching is one of the fastest growing professions. Right now, the American Medical Association has health coaching under review for CPT codes, which is how you would get reimbursed by insurance. It should be reimbursed as a health insurance benefit within a year. When that happened with chiropractors, acupuncturists, and masseuses, those professions boomed as well. And that’s kind of what’s happening with coaching right now. It’s become very mainstream, and there’s thousands of new coaches because there’s millions of people that need it. And we have a tidal wave of wellness opportunities.
Coaches really serve as the guide that helps you with the plan and then the next steps. What do I buy in the grocery store? There’s 13 different gluten free options. Which one should I buy? Where do I go? Should I do red light therapy or cryo therapy? Should I do vegan or paleo or keto or vegetarian? A health coach is really there to guide you. We as a school have been training the best health coaches for the last 30 years. So the training is not just about food. There’s a lot of schools that have a functional nutrition training, but we train you about the mental, emotional, career, and relationship aspects of your mindset. And we pioneered that.
Carrie Ann: I’ve heard you speak about food as not just what you put in your mouth, but as all the different sorts of nutrition for living a life of wellness. It’s about relationships and community among other things, right?
Jim Curtis: Yeah, everything feeds us. Your relationships feed you, your career feeds you, everything feeds you. It starts with the primary foods, and then you can start to look at what foods are actually on your plate that you’re eating. We say food changes everything. If you’re in a relationship, and it’s feeding you in a healthy way, then that changes everything about you. Then when you get to food, it really does change everything. You know how you feel when you drink a cup of coffee versus a glass of wine. The food that you eat literally turns into your blood and your cells and it creates you. So there are two components – there’s the mental or emotional, and there is the physical – and we focus on both.
Carrie Ann: I think that’s really important, and I think this is what people are looking for right now. They’re looking for real answers, and the real answers are multi-dimensional. It’s not just one lane. It’s not just food, it’s your relationships. In your book, The Stimulati Experience, you talk about your own trauma and how you got out of it. For somebody who’s [reading] this right now that might be in a place of trauma or fear, what are some tips that you would share with them?
Jim Curtis: I would say recognize the story that you’re telling yourself. Meaning, oftentimes, we get caught in trauma loops of the story that we’re telling ourselves, and we think that we think that we’re caught in the movie, instead of watching the movie. And that we can’t change anything. The first thing is to change the way you’re thinking in terms of your awareness of it. When you feel yourself spiraling, try to pull yourself out of it.
You can do a number of things, like going for a walk, talking to a friend, or just moving. I used to take a shower, and I wouldn’t realize that the water had been beating on my back for 15 minutes because I had been just obsessing over something. Now I can kind of click myself out of that by moving, turning the water cold, or getting out of the shower. So let’s first identify and break the pattern. And the second thing is there are so many resources you can get form group or community. For example, The Institute for Integrative Nutrition is a community of people that study together, work together, and learn together. And you can do it all online, but you still have your groups, you have your phone calls, and other things. Get into a community because it takes a village, it really does. And when you’re in a great community, your relationships are everything. Those are two ways that I really love.
Carrie Ann: Yeah, relationships and community have been hard in the last couple of years. I feel like those opportunities are actually starting to open up again, and we’re being able to connect with people. Even if we can’t connect with people in person, as you said, you have a you have an online course coming up.
Jim Curtis: Yeah, we have a course opening up now. If anybody’s interested in that they should call or go to integrativenutrition.com. That’s the best way you can speak to a graduate, who is also an admissions coach. It’s a really amazing experience even if you don’t want to be a health coach, it’s so transformative for yourself. Most people do it because they want to start coaching themselves, their family, or their friends. And then they realize, wow, I could really be of service with this, and they become health coaches. But oftentimes, it starts with just wanting to change their lives.
Carrie Ann: And there’s also a course in April, right?
Jim Curtis: There’s another course that starts April 25, if you don’t want to do March. We have nine starts a year, and those are the next two.
Carrie Ann: What I think is so wonderful about your school and what it’s doing, is that even if you don’t want to become a health coach, you learn how to do something that makes you a better person. So that you can show up better in this world, and in your own life feel better about yourself. And then, as we’ve talked about, like it’s a ripple effect, right? Once you’re feeling good, your vibes spread, and then you feel good because you helped other people feel good. I truly believe that we’re all energy, and that we’re all ultimately saying the same thing – that we are all connected. And when we do things that help ourselves or help other people, we’re helping everything. I love this contribution that you guys are putting into the world. Thank you so much Jim.
You guys, he has so much information, you have no idea. I just want to read a little passage from his book, “The Stimulati Experience: Nine Skills for Getting Past Pain, Setbacks, and Trauma to Ignite Health and Happiness” . On page 113, he says “I realized that everybody has a story and people are in different parts of their story. No matter where they were. Their story became a great catalyst for me to get to the place of thinking if they can do it, so can I”. He goes on to say, “being with other people and being infused with the inspiration of personal stories, I felt more hopeful and ready to overcome the obstacles in my life”.
This is something that is so inspiring, and it is the reason why I’m doing Carrie Ann Conversations as well.
What is your opinion on health coaching? Would you be willing to try it? Let us know in the comments below! There are so many ways out there to get the help that you need, and the first step is always to ask for it. One of the greatest qualities of the internet is the community and support you can find. As Jim said, it takes a village. There’s no reason to suffer alone or in silence. We hope this conversation gave you something new to consider in your own journey to wellness!
For more information and resources from Jim Curtis, follow the links below:
It’s easy to look at the wellness trends out there and think “I don’t have time for that”. Especially when social media perpetuates a kind of perfection that just doesn’t exist. We’ve all seen the TikToks or posts that outline someone’s flawless daily wellness routine, otherwise known as the “that girl” trend. You’ve seen that girl all over the internet – she eats clean, lives in the mid-century modern apartment of your dreams, makes a perfect matcha latte, and has all the time in the world for self-care. Meanwhile, you’re on the verge of turning your closet into a sea of black turtlenecks a la Elizabeth Holmes just to get an extra 5 minutes of sleep.
Fortunately, there are easy ways to incorporate wellness into your life that are attainable and effective. If you’re a 20-something in the middle of building your career and think you just don’t have the time, let me change your mind. Wellness isn’t about making the “right” choices all the time – it’s about making the choices that feel right to you. Here are 8 simple ways you can take advantage of your free time to better your mind, body, and soul.
Take a walk around the block at lunch time or get a change of scenery
Stepping out into the sunshine will not only help to keep your circadian rhythm on track, which will make sleep easier, it’ll also give you a necessary change of scenery. Sometimes you just need to get away from your desk for 5 minutes. There’s a reason Einstein went on frequent walks. Be more like Einstein.
Walks are also a great way to practice mindfulness. One way to do this is to actively pay attention to your surroundings. Notice the trees, the grass, the cars, etc. This is a great trick to use anywhere, at any time, to bring your attention to the present.
Journal for 5 minutes before bed or when you wake up
We’ve all heard about gratitude journaling, but it really does help to shift your mindset. If 5 minutes feels like too long, try timing yourself for a minute. Write down anything that pops into your mind. By reframing your thoughts you’ll set yourself up to create the work/life balance you want
If you’d like to do more self reflection or have trouble following through with self-care, more intentional journaling can help you to hold yourself accountable. Here are some quick prompts that are great for any day:
What are the small steps I’m taking this week to achieve my long term goals? What am I doing this week outside of anything work related?
The parts of my day that I enjoyed the most and the least were…
An ideal wellness routine looks like this to me…What would help me to achieve this?
What do I wish I had more time for and how can I realistically make time?
What did I do to take care of myself today? If I didn’t do anything, what stopped me?
This is what I would tell a friend if he/she was struggling to take time for their mental health right now…
Meditate for 5 mins while you sip your morning coffee
If you’re not a morning person, this can be a great way to start the day off slowly. There are so many great apps out there that have a meditation for everything you can think of. Check out our article on Carrie Ann’s favorite meditation leaders here for some suggestions.
Schedule in breaks during the day and set reminders on your phone
If you’re guilty of plowing through your work without taking adequate breaks, you might want to try setting reminders. Taking the time to get more water, a snack, or text your friend back can allow you to approach the rest of your work with fresh eyes.
Commit to exercising a couple days a week before or after work
Don’t set overwhelming goals. Even committing to two days a week is something.
This could be something as easy as doing a 15 minute YouTube workout.
Add one calming aspect to your night
If you don’t already have a nightly routine, stick in one calming activity that you can easily incorporate every night. Maybe it’s skincare, a cup of tea, or getting through a chapter of the book that’s been sitting on your nightstand. Again, wellness is one step at a time.
Schedule fun during the week
Make plans to get dinner with a friend or your partner after work, or throw caution to the wind and see a movie on a Wednesday night. It’s unhealthy to get stuck in the mindset of living for the weekends. There are 5 other days to have fun too!
Use PTO for mental health days if you need to
Sometimes you need a real break. If you have piles of unused PTO (paid time off), don’t hesitate to use it for a mental health day. Your coworkers will thank you later.
Adding in moments of healthy you-time is essential to your mental health and ultimately the success of your career. You don’t want to wait until you’re burnt out. It takes a lot less effort and time than you may think to get big results. Our generation tends to place a lot of importance on “success”, and we’ve been working ever since we knew what a college application was to chase this dream. Now is the time to create healthy habits so we can look back at our 20s and know we lived them to the fullest. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider trying one of these tips before you do an Elizabeth Holmes to your closet.
How many times have you hit the pillow at night only to stare at the ceiling in a whirlwind of unproductive thoughts for another two hours? You said you’d go to bed at 10pm, but your mind can’t stop reviewing that one comment you made in a meeting or that presentation you have tomorrow. Those sticky “what if” thoughts can ruminate in your brain and make falling asleep easily seem wholly unattainable. The off switch is nowhere in sight, so frustration and stress set in. Now you’re in panic mode because you know you have to get to sleep soon. You’re worse off than when you got into bed an hour ago.
It can feel like an endless cycle, but researchers have tackled this phenomenon in order to bring us solutions. Barring sleeping pills, which have their own risks, there are several practical methods that can aid in creating an environment and mindset conducive to sleep. You might already do a few of these, however, they work best together. Buying black out curtains and calling it a day won’t solve insomnia, but using these tools together in conjunction with other self-care habits just might.
The Basics
If you’re a sleep hygiene newbie, checking off a list of “must haves” is an essential way to start to improve your routine. According to the CDC, “adults need 7 or more hours of sleep per night for the best health and wellbeing”. You probably already know this. Nevertheless, it’s likely you often fall short of this, as “a third of US adults report that they usually get less than the recommended amount of sleep” (CDC). Research has suggested that there are a few non-negotiables when it comes to getting a good night’s rest, and these are the first steps to getting that full 7.
What you can do during the day
Get adequate exercise
Get direct exposure to sunlight daily, especially in the mornings – Bright light, or ideally exposure to direct sunlight, helps to keep your circadian rhythm in balance. It signals to your body that it’s time to wake up.
Wake up at the same time every morning – Consistency is key. If you sleep in until 11am one day and wake up at 7am the next, your schedule is inevitably thrown off.
Eat meals at the same time every day – Again, consistency is key, even with digestion. Keeping your body on a schedule will set you up for sleep.
Limit caffeine in the afternoon – Resisting that afternoon pick me up may be difficult, but you’ll thank yourself later when you’re actually tired at bedtime.
Limit alcohol consumption – Having a glass of wine while you watch Bridgerton is probably fine, just don’t go overboard.
Keep your bed for sleeping – Meaning don’t do work and take meetings from it.
Take a nap if you need to – There’s no shame in a power nap! It’s recommended not to nap too late in the afternoon though, as this could further mess with your sleep schedule.
Make your room as peaceful as possible – Pick out décor, sheets, pillows, etc. with this in mind. Maybe invest in a humidifier, sound machine, or an essential oil diffuser. Anything that makes you feel most at peace.
View our Amazon list of recommended sleep friendly products HERE!
What you can do right before bed
Keep your bedtime consistent – It can be extremely tempting to have a late night, especially when you don’t get much free time. But if you know that will mess you up in the morning, at least limit it to the weekends.
Start winding down 30 mins to an hour before bed – This can consist of anything that helps you to relax. Meditate, listen to a sleep story, read a book (nothing too gripping though), do a 16 step skincare routine, write in a journal, take a bath, listen to a spa playlist, do a puzzle – whatever your heart desires.
Keep lights in your home or apartment dim – Just like bright sunlight ques your brain to wake up, dim light lets it know that it’s time to sleep.
Make sure your room is dark when you get into bed – Get blackout curtains if you need to, and cover up any light sources (even covering that tiny blue light emanating from your power strip can help).
Limit blue light (AKA your cell phone, laptop, or TV) the hour before bedtime – if you have to work late or can’t resist TikTok, put your devices on night mode. This yellows the screen and gives your eyes a break. An alternative is to buy blue light glasses.
Keep your room cool or at a temperature that is most comfortable to you
If you live on a busy street or have noisy neighbors, consider ear plugs or a sound machine
If you’ve been trying some of these methods but aren’t seeing results, the CDC recommends starting a sleep journal as a first line of defense. Write down your daily habits for a week – what time you went to bed / woke up, when you ate, what you ate, caffeine consumption, alcohol consumption, etc. This can help to reveal patterns and narrow down what isn’t working.
I’ve got my habits down, but I can’t stop beating myself up when they don’t work
One of the most infuriating side effects of sleep problems is how cognizant you are of the importance of sleep. How could you not be? You’ve set up a full routine of habits to get some much needed REM. On nights when that routine fails, you’re all too aware of it. Luckily, this is a frequent problem among the sleepless and researchers have come up with methods to solve it.
One common tool that even therapists use to combat this kind of thinking is called paradoxical intention. In general, paradoxical intention is “a psychotherapeutic technique […] in which the individual is asked to magnify a distressing, unwanted symptom” and aims to “help such individuals distance themselves from their symptoms, often by appreciating the humorous aspects of their exaggerated responses” (American Psychological Association). In treating insomnia, employing paradoxical intention means to avoid efforts to fall asleep. The “unwanted symptom” is not being able to fall asleep, and by engaging in the opposite – trying to stay awake – the performance anxiety you have has the opportunity to diminish.
Paradoxical Intention doesn’t mean you get into bed and do all the wrong things – like staring at a screen. It is used in combination with your regular techniques and routines. It’s the process of letting go of the fear of not sleeping, and releasing the guilt you may feel around it. Here are a few ways to put this method to work:
When you get into bed, instead of focusing on trying to fall asleep, try to stay awake. Keep your eyes open as long as you can. You might find that sleep comes easier when you’re trying to do the opposite.
Learn to be at peace with quiet, or passive, wakefulness. It’s okay to be in bed, resting with your eyes closed. At least you are resting. Try to move your thoughts away from why you can’t sleep, and focus on simply relaxing.
If you can’t sleep, get up. Move to a different room or somewhere that is not your bed. Start a relaxation technique, like a guided meditation, or read a boring book. This will help occupy your mind until you become sleepy.
I’ve tried it all – now what?
If you’re at the point where basic sleep hygiene isn’t cutting it, don’t worry. If your insomnia is severe enough, it’s time to visit your doctor. Sleep problems can be a sign of underlying conditions, so it’s important to get that checked before anything else. Some medical and therapeutic interventions include:
Sleep Studies: Your primary care physician can refer you to a doctor that specializes in sleep medicine. Sleep studies can rule out sleep apnea or anything happening neurologically.
Depression Treatment: Insomnia can be a symptom of depression, especially if you are a woman. According to the Sleep Foundation, “women are diagnosed with depression at higher rates than men, and sleeping too much or too little is a frequent symptom of that disorder. Studies have also found that women are more likely to ruminate about their concerns, which can contribute to anxiety, limiting one’s ability to fall asleep easily”.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): If you’ve gotten the all clear physically, one option is to try CBT, which is one of the most common types of talk therapy. The Mayo Clinic defines CBT for insomnia as “a structured program that helps you identify and replace thoughts and behaviors that cause or worsen sleep problems with habits that promote sound sleep. Unlike sleeping pills, CBT-I helps you overcome the underlying causes of your sleep problems”.
Sleep is essential, not a luxury. It’s easy to fall into the trap of consistently working late to prove something to yourself or to others. But you are the only one that can take care of you. Not to mention, your work quality and overall health can falter when you’re not getting enough sleep. If you’re struggling, it’s worth it to take the time to adjust whatever needs adjusting, especially if you tend to ruminate and can’t mentally cut ties with the day. There’s so much help out there, and it’s just waiting for you to take the first step. You deserve a good night’s rest.
Jane Massengill is a master certified coach and licensed social worker. She found coaching over 20 years ago when she was working with a group of psychiatrists who were exploring and expanding treatment for adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. A new profession in its infancy, coaching was exactly what Jane was looking for to bridge the gap between the internal personal growth work she was doing as a therapist and the external restructuring her clients needed with daily challenges such as getting to work on time, keeping a daily schedule or creating an exercise routine. She quickly fell into being among a small group of professionals in the country who had experience as a therapist with the training of a coach, plus years of work with adults with ADHD in a clinic setting. It put her in a unique position to write a chapter on ADD Coaching in Dr. Daniel Amen’s New York Times bestselling book, Healing ADD, and to participate in creating the first set of guidelines for ADD Coaches for the newly formed Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Association.
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s March 3rd, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Jane Massengill. It has been edited for length and clarity.
While ADHD (Attention-deficit / hyperactivity Disorder) is a fairly new type of mental diagnosis (it wasn’t recognized by the American Psychiatric Association until the 1960’s, and the “hyperactivity” component was not added until the 1980’s), it is also one of the most common. Many of us are related to someone, or at least know an individual with ADHD, yet a stigma still seems to shroud the disorder. When we imagine someone with ADHD, a lot of us picture that busy boy in class that can’t sit still. The truth is that ADHD has many faces, which is why it can often get missed in childhood. Many people do not even realize they have the disorder until their own children are diagnosed and they connect the dots. This is especially true for women, who don’t always present with that stereotypical case of hyperactivity. If you’re unfamiliar with the disorder or simply curious to learn more, we were lucky enough to have Carrie Ann’s personal ADHD coach, Jane Massengill, dispel common misconceptions and share her own story.
Carrie Ann: On our on our first episode of “Carrie Ann Conversations: Journey to Wellness”, I spoke with Dr. Daniel Amen and shared my ADHD diagnosis. It was Dr. Amen who referred me to you, and suggested I speak with you. Can you share with everyone how you started working with ADHD patients? And how an ADHD coach is different from a life coach?
Jane Massengill: Great question. It’s really interesting, I was thinking about this this morning. When I first started out as a social worker in the early 80s, there was no such thing as adult ADHD. It was really just a diagnosis and kids. I ended up meeting Dr. Amen when I moved to California, because I wanted to work with a psychiatrist and work with families. So at the time, the only thing we had was the Yellow Pages. I called every psychiatrist in the Yellow Pages and Amen begins with A, so I met him the next day. Dan hired me on the spot. He had actually just finished his residency, so he had just started his practice. So we started working together in the late 80s, and were seeing a lot of parents that had kids with ADHD. Right around that same time, Dan started doing brain imaging, and I volunteered to have a scan. Through that process, I learned about my own ADHD.
Carrie Ann: Wait, is that the first time that you realized you had ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Absolutely. Yeah, I was doing all of these evaluations with people at the Amen clinic. I had left the clinic for about four years when my kids were really little. When I came back, Dan was doing these scans and he needed a bunch of people with healthy brains to volunteer. After the diagnosis, I remember thinking, this just makes so much sense. He said he didn’t expect it, but he didn’t see a lot of my own struggles that weren’t showing up in the workplace. He didn’t see the stuff in the background, you know, what my piles looked like at home and how I worked really hard to just try to keep it together. So it was such a relief to me when I had that diagnosis. I think it is for most people, Carrie Ann I think you said earlier that it helped you connect the dots. That’s what it was like for me, a light bulb.
Carrie Ann: Yeah, it really brought it together. And you’re right, it connected the dots for me. When we first started working together, I remember that you asked me if I had kids, because you said a lot of parents don’t even know they have ADHD until their children get to a certain age. Then they start to see it, and feel overwhelmed in their life. Why is it so difficult, not knowing that you have ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Yes, that was absolutely true for me. I mean, my diagnosis happened right in the middle of when my kids were really little. I was juggling a lot of stuff and trying to try to work. Again, it was just a big aha.
Carrie Ann: It was such a big aha for me too. And it really helped me understand a lot of things. As a child and for most of my life, I’ve always felt a bit different. Some parents will tell you, oh, no, you’re not special. But that’s not what I was trying to say. I was trying to say that I think my brain is a little different. But parents always try to keep you in line, and keep your feet on the floor. My mom was always doing that, she would go “oh, I don’t know about that”. There’s a lot of misconceptions out there about ADHD, especially adult ADHD. So first of all, what is ADHD?
Jane Massengill: Great question. ADHD is a genetically and biologically based syndrome. I like to think of it as a way of being in the world, but there is biology to it. There absolutely is clear science. There’s no disputing any of that. When you’re an adult with ADHD, you have issues with attention and focus, and doing things that are routine, that are boring. The opposite is true, though, too. Attention Deficit is such a misguided term, actually. We don’t have a deficit of attention. We have so much attention, we don’t know what to do with it! That’s the biggest challenge. So It’s all about learning how to bring that attention under control. That’s really the challenge.
Carrie Ann: I’m an open book, so I’ve been running around telling all my friends that I have ADHD. And I can see in some of their eyes that they don’t believe me, or they think that I’m just being a hypochondriac. Because when you have autoimmune conditions, you’re also often accused of being a hypochondriac. As I’ve done my research, working with you and Dr. Amen and reading every book possible about ADHD, I’ve realized that it’s just a different way of thinking. We can’t control the speed at which our brain wants to focus on things, so sometimes it hyper focuses and sometimes it wanders down the street. Is that a good way to describe it?
Jane Massengill: That’s a wonderful description. One of my favorite ADHD books, “ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction” by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, talks about this. Dr. Hallowell says that when you have ADHD, it’s like having a Ferrari brain with bicycle brakes. When you have ADHD, you prefrontal cortex, which is kind of like your supervisor or your secretary, is not functioning like it does for everybody else. So, you have issues with what they call “executive functioning”. I think of that as an executive secretary that’s just out to lunch. And sometimes that person comes back. And sometimes they don’t. You don’t always know when they’re going to come back. You can’t trust them to always be there for you. That is why learning how to manage it, working with a coach, and getting treatment for it will help – you’re training your manager.
Carrie Ann: I know it’s very important to manage your ADHD. You were telling me some statistics last time we did a session about unmanaged ADHD, can you share them?
Jane Massengill: Russell Barkley is a psychologist who’s been researching ADHD for 40 years now, and I had the honor of working with him when I worked at UMass Medical Center. He came up with research a couple of years ago, which absolutely blew my mind. This research says that if you are an undiagnosed, untreated, unmanaged adult with ADHD, your estimated life expectancy is up to 12 years shorter than everybody else’s. I mean, that’s a lot of time. And if you think about it, you’re more prone to accidents, car crashes, and not managing your health when you have untreated ADHD.
Carrie Ann: What about eating and stress? I think unmanaged ADHD had an effect on my autoimmune condition. This has been a hidden key to helping me feel better, because I noticed that my stress is escalates when my ADHD is unmanaged. And that’s why you have been such a blessing in my life, because you really taught me how to manage it.
Jane Massengill: It’s funny, when I when I share that statistic, everybody has a story. I just shared it with a colleague of mine yesterday, and she was telling me that when she was in her early 30s she found a spot on her hand. And her friend said look, you need to go get that spot on your hand checked. But it became one of those things that she just kept procrastinating on. When she finally saw the doctor, he said if she would have waited one more month, it would have killed her. It was melanoma. So I just think it’s there’s so many things. I think about my own family. My father was killed in a car accident when he was 48 years old. He was a policeman, and a lot of people with ADHD end up going towards those types of professions. But ADHD wasn’t around then. When I look back, it certainly makes me question if he was undiagnosed and died early because he was staying up really late, and probably not paying attention while he was driving. So ADHD is something worth paying attention to.
Carrie Ann: First of all, I’m so sorry about your loss. I didn’t know that. And it’s interesting when you do find out about your ADHD, you can kind of look back through your life and track how it may or may not have affected you.
I’ve also noticed that people often think of ADHD in a stereotypical way. They think ADHD only looks like a little boy in class who can’t sit still, who’s hitting the girls and having emotional outbursts. But look, that is not what I looked like growing up, and I’m sure that’s not what you looked like. You just mentioned that people with ADHD could be more accident prone. What are the other signs of somebody who has ADHD?
Jane Massengill: It looks different in everybody, and that’s why it’s hard to pin down for some people. People don’t necessarily understand it, there’s a lot of misconceptions. And some people – if you think of ADHD as an arc – barely meet the criteria for diagnosis. Other people have it on a much more extreme scale. It’s also an invisible disorder, so it’s harder to see sometimes. In adults, it can look like bouncing around. Many of my clients have these big balls that they sit on when we do coaching sessions, or they stand up. I always support that kind of stuff. Women are oftentimes missed with being diagnosed, especially as kids, because they’re the quiet ones that are sitting in the corner, not making any trouble. As adults, a lot of women with ADHD are afraid to engage because it feels too scary. They are more focused on wanting to do things that are less out in the world, and don’t push themselves to go out and do things.
Carrie Ann: I remember when I was younger, before I was diagnosed, someone said to me “oh, you have analysis paralysis”. And I sure do!
Jane Massengill: But you can also have hyper focus on things that you really love. A good friend of mine, Rick Carson, who wrote “Taming Your Gremlin”, told me once that I was like a pit bull on a rump roast. So when we are passionate about something we can dig in and not want to let go. When I first learned about ADHD, I read every single book that was out there, because I wanted to learn everything I possibly could about myself and about the people that I was working with. The benefit of that is we are really good at things that we love. The challenge of that is we sometimes don’t know when to stop, and we can burn ourselves out. And we don’t know when enough is enough. Almost everything with ADHD is a double edged sword.
Carrie Ann: One of the things that I’ve learned from working with you is that I need stand up against my brain. My brain wants to run away from a task that I know I need to do. I can walk by something on the floor 100 times, but that is not because I’m lazy, or that I don’t want to pick it up off the floor. Except that now I know that I have to actually put more effort into stopping and taking that moment to finish something. If it’s a short or mundane task, I can struggle with it. Even brushing my teeth in the morning. I do it every morning, but I’m always trying to talk myself out of it. I talk myself around it, like maybe I’ll do it this way. Maybe I’ll change the way I do it. It’s challenging. And I say all these things because I want people to understand that. You may not have ADHD, but you may struggle with some of the things that we’re talking about. And if you do have it, it doesn’t mean you’re limited in any way.
Did anything that Jane had to say surprise you? There’s so much to learn about ADHD, and a lot of what we know can lead to misconceptions! As Jane mentioned, the term “attention deficit” itself can be misleading – people with ADHD are also known to possess extreme focus. We hope that this conversation informed your own understanding of the disorder, or satisfied your curiosity. Factual information is the key to destigmatizing anything. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below, we’d love to hear what resonated with you.
Madisyn Taylor is the cofounder and former editor-in-chief of DailyOM. She is the author of Unmedicated. The Four Pillars of Natural Wellness (January 2018) and an award-winning and bestselling author of two previous books including DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilling Day (#1 Amazon self-help, #3 Amazon overall) and DailyOM: Learning to Live (#1 Amazon self-help, #7 Amazon overall). Her books have been translated into more than fifteen languages. Madisyn has also been a contributing author for Oprah.com. This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s January 20th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Madisyn Taylor. It has been edited for length and clarity.
How many times have you tried the latest wellness trend only to not achieve the results you were hoping for? Maybe you gave meditation a shot, and it just wasn’t for you. Maybe your friend told you about the latest self help book that changed their life, but reading isn’t the way you learn best. If there’s one thing we’ve learned here at Carrie Ann Conversations, it’s that there are many approaches to wellness and it’s perfectly normal to go through trial and error! That’s something that our guest, Madisyn Taylor, preaches as well. Madisyn has gone through trauma and come out on the other side determined to help people begin their journey to achieve ultimate wellness. Her tools are vast and she uses her own experiences to inspire others to make changes in their lives. We loved having her on Carrie Ann Conversations: Journey to Wellness, and can’t wait for you to hear what she has to say!
Carrie Ann: Welcome to a another Carrie Ann Conversations Journey to Wellness. Today, I want to talk about healing. Whether that be from past trauma, confronting your fears, or just resetting your minds to stop self-sabotaging. I don’t know if you guys do that, but I know I’m certainly guilty of it. Joining us today in this conversation is a best-selling author, meditation specialist, and my new friend, Madisyn Taylor. She’s also the Co-Founder of DailyOM, and author of the book of the same name.
Madisyn, thank you for joining me. I have been reading the DailyOM for years. It’s basically my nightstand and bathroom reading all the time. It’s one of those books that I just always turn back to whenever I’m lost. And you have helped me so much in my struggles, before I even knew that I had a journey to go on. Would you mind telling my viewers about the DailyOM?
Madisyn Taylor: Yes, we started it way back in 2004, which seems like forever ago. The purpose of it really was to help people get on their own journeys and have their own lightbulb moments. We did that by having me write sort of, I guess a daily essay if you will, that comes to your inbox every morning. The idea was that people would all be thinking these good thoughts at the same time while they’re having their coffee in the morning. The essays really were about my own life journey, but I didn’t write it in a first person perspective because I didn’t want it to be about me. I wanted everyone to be able to relate to it. It was everything from relationships, to depression, anxiety, to trauma – just things that we all go through every day. And that we need help with because I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get an instruction manual when I was born. I didn’t know how to navigate any of the stuff that was happening to me. So I thought that I could finally put all of my years of experience, all of my loss, all of my trauma, and all of my learning into helping other people. Back in 2004 the internet really wasn’t that popular yet, so we took the email perspective of that. And then the business model of it was to sell online courses in that same genre. Now it’s anything from yoga, to relationships, and everything in between.
Carrie Ann: It’s really quite an amazing destination. It has everything.
Madisyn Taylor: Yes, there’s something for everybody. But what was important to me was to have it affordable to everybody. So you can take a course for $15, which I think is phenomenal. And these are six week courses to one year courses. It’s not a one day or a few hour thing. I know in my own healing journey, I could not afford all of the healing that I needed. Acupuncturists, psychiatrists, and all these specialists are a minimum of $100 each session and if you don’t have insurance, you’re kind of screwed. I really, really, wanted to have healing available to everybody. So my daily essays were free, and that was my service work to humanity. Then the business model was the courses, but at an affordable rate.
Carrie Ann: It’s attainable for everyone, and that’s why I love it so much. Part of Carrie Ann Conversations Journey to Wellness is all about spreading accessibility to wellness. Hopefully people can find just a tidbit here and there, something that resonates with them, even if they don’t know it’s resonating. Something that sounds interesting to them, so that they can maybe do their own research and head out into their own discovery. Because as we both know, it’s a journey.
Now, let’s move on. I’ve heard you talking about fear, and I think that plays such a huge factor in this conversation about healing from trauma. So what are the most common fears that you think we all share? Because this is about building community, finding places where we are similar, right? How can we turn the fear switch off or down?
Madisyn Taylor: It’s kind of funny, the two most common fears that everybody has are getting what you want and losing what you have. Imagine, oh, I got a million dollars, I really wanted that. And then oh my god, the taxman wants some, my best friend wants something. Now you’re in fear of having it all go away.
Carrie Ann: Say it again, one more time, because that’s powerful. What are the two fears that you think everybody has?
Madisyn Taylor: Getting what you want, and then losing what you have. Getting it and then losing it. Those are the fears that that humans have. But really, the fear that people have is doing the deep dive. You and I know that in order to heal, you have to do the deep dive, you have to peel the layers. I’m a big baby steps person, and I don’t believe in going to the center nugget right away. You’ve got to peel the outer layers. It really is like an onion. Every baby step serves a purpose. And if you dive in too deep, too fast, you’re going to get scared and you’re never going to go back. So my work is about gentle baby steps.
My big tip is to make a list of your fears, and then go right into all of them and write as much as you can about each fear. What is the fear? How does it make you feel? How is it affecting your life? Because it is and you may not know it. And then what I like to do – I’m giving homework and I love to give homework-
Carrie Ann: I love you for giving homework, you’re my kind of girl!
Madisyn Taylor: Thank you! Once you write down your fear and how it makes you feel – and writing about it may make you feel nervous – write a counter thought to that fear. That’s how you’re going to start healing the fear. Let’s take something really simple, like I’m afraid of flying. It makes me shake like a leaf. I think about it for three days beforehand, I start stressing, I get nervous. I’m worried I’m going to miss my flight, that I’m going to sit next to someone that’s going to smell bad, that we’re going to crash, I hate turbulence, all of this stuff. So I write it all down, and I feel the anxiety coming up.
Then I think, what can I do about that? Well, I can tell the flight attendant I’m nervous, and she or he will pay a lot more attention to you. I can talk to my neighbor sitting next to me and say I’m feeling a little nervous. I do that every single flight, and they turn out to be like a therapist for me. I can bring comfort items on the plane, right? That’s kind of an example that’s not super personal in terms of fears. It’s personal to me, but it’s not a deep seated fear. So name it and claim it, and then write a solution to it or a counter statement to your fear. You will look at it all in your journal as one unit and say, wow, you know what, that’s not as bad as I thought it was.
Carrie Ann: Oh my God, that’s wonderful. Name it, claim it, gather it into a manageable amount, look at it, and realize it’s not as big as you’re making it. I think when you write it down, it really does help you. I find that things, when they’re still in your mind, they become huge, right? We have to remember as human beings that we are so powerful with what we can do with one little idea. We can turn it into something amazing. That’s the power of creation. However, the power of creation can also create a huge monster that’s chasing us at every turn. We can run faster, or we can put it in perspective, which is what you just did. That’s a great tip.
In your own journey through trauma to wellness you’ve spent a lot of time defining things and putting things into words for people. How would you define wellness now, here in 2022, after all that you’ve been through?
Madisyn Taylor: I think that wellness is not a one size fits all scenario. It’s going to look a little different for all of us, our packaging is different. But what’s really important is that it can’t be segmented. Wellness needs to be body, mind, and spirit, the trifecta. They really need to go together. You can’t have full wellness without having wellness in all of those areas. And it’s all attainable. I know it can sound a little overwhelming, but again, if you take your baby steps it’s definitely attainable. Once you fix one of them, you’ll find that the others tend to fall into place. I mean, you are this amazing temple, this healing machine. And you always hear those terms when you’re a little kid, like the hip bone is connected to the backbone. We are all connected.
Those three things intertwine and work together to make a healthy human being. It’s really important, but most people ignore one of those. We always really go for the physical health, but the mind and the spiritual health are equally as important. Spiritual health is really about journaling and meditation, maybe having an altar and those sorts of practices. It’s not about religion or going to church, although that could be it for some people. Then the mind is brain health, which of course you talked about with that brilliant doctor last week.
Carrie Ann: Yes, Dr. Amen. That was a great conversation. You know, these conversations, they’re mostly for me. Because I just love talking about wellness, and I love hearing about other people’s journeys. I love hearing other people’s perspective, because as you say, the journey is unique and individual to each one of us. It took me looking at 1000 trillion different things to figure out what’s working. And look, in three months, different things are going to work. It’s constantly a work in progress. Wellness is not a one and done kind of thing. Madisyn has got like 8,000 different ways to approach wellness. And that’s because she’s been studying it for so long, because she needed to for her own journey in life. That’s what my wish is for all of you – that you can find wellness. The way to do it is to keep experimenting and working on it. It’s something that takes work just like building your home, or building your family and raising your children. It’s the same thing. You are an entity that is worthy of all the love, caring, and all the wellness that could possibly come your way.
Experimenting, working, and building. That’s what healing and the road to wellness entails, but it’s so rewarding when you start to see a shift in your life. Especially when you begin to fit all of the pieces together, as Madisyn said. The mind, body, and spirit are interconnected and of equal importance. Don’t be afraid to take baby steps and work through one area at a time – the puzzle pieces will fall into place at the right time. If you’re interested in hearing more about Madisyn’s story and watching the full interview, you can view it here!
You can find Madisyn Taylor’s books, social media, online courses, and other resources at these links:
Instagram: @mtmadisyntaylorMadisyn’s websiteAmazon bookstoreDailyOm
John Amaral is an energy practitioner, author, educator and founder of the Energy Flow Formula, a somatic energy healing practice. Originally trained as a chiropractor, John developed the Formula over 25 years of working with thousands of people from more than 50 countries. His clients include A-list celebrities, entrepreneurs, athletes, influencers and thought-leaders. John uses the unique principles of the Energy Flow Formula to help his clients heal physical injuries, reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and reach and sustain new levels of energy, clarity, and fulfillment so they can feel and live better. Most recently, John appeared in the Goop Labs Netflix series with Gwyneth Paltrow. He has also been featured a number of podcasts, including Bulletproof Radio with Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof.
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s March 24th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Dr. John Amaral. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Have you ever wondered about the “aura” or energy you unconsciously put out into the world? We’ve all said “oh, I like his/her energy” at some point, whether or not we actually understood why we felt this way. It’s just a feeling we get, or an instinct. If you’ve ever wanted to dive deeper into that feeling and explore your own personal energy, Dr. John Amaral is the guest for you! He calls our “vibes” or “auras” the “energy body” that radiates off of our beings. And there’s a lot more to that energy body than you’d think! Read on to hear about what your energy blueprint is and how you can tap into it.
Carrie Ann: I know you talk about an energy blueprint. What is that? How does that work?
Dr. John Amaral: What I call the energy blueprint is the hard wiring you came into this world with. Everybody has kind of a unique style and way of experiencing and processing life. The blueprint has to do with different frequencies, bandwidths, or layers. You might call it the energy body. There is a field of energy around the physical body that radiates out, and it can be many feet off the body. You can measure the electromagnetic field with instruments three to five feet or so off the body.
Carrie Ann: Is it like an aura?
Dr. John Amaral: Aura is another name for it. Some people call it subtle body or the subtle energy body. And people call it the koshas in vedic tradition, like yoga. There are all different names, and different cultures have different names for it. It’s a real thing. It’s kind of a non-thing thing.
Carrie Ann: Even though we can’t see it, it’s real.
Dr. John Amaral: Some people can see it. We have our five senses, and some people can read or see auras, right? So our five senses pick up this subtle energy that is sort of invisible. It’s like another dimension. You can’t see radio waves, you can’t see x-rays, you can’t see infrared.
Carrie Ann: But they’re there, and they’re working!
Dr. John Amaral: And they will affect you. If you are exposed to radiation, it will cause damage. If you tune your antenna into radio frequencies, they’re there. You just set your antenna and you pick up those different frequencies. So, their energies exist, we’re just seeing a tiny bandwidth. We can only see a very, very small bandwidth of the visual field. Everything from gamma radiation, which are really tiny waves, all the way out to radio waves, which span mountains, are there. That’s part of what the energy body is – frequencies of energy that most people don’t see, but some do. For some people it’s more of a feeling, or it’s kinesthetic. Some people hear sounds and tones, but we all have various ways of tuning into this energy around us. There’s actually research on the sense of being stared at. People from around the world have an ability to sense if somebody’s staring at them.
Carrie Ann: For sure! You can feel it.
Dr. John Amaral: And this is non-local, it could be somewhere else in the world. There’s also more research on dogs knowing when their owners are coming home, even if they’re 50 miles away. When they leave the office, the dogs get off the couch. Rupert Shelldrake wrote a book about this. So there’s some nonphysical, energetic, invisible field that we’re tuned into. And this is really where things are going in the 21st century. There’s a lot of movement into what Nikola Tesla called the age of energy. We have devices now, MRIs, which measure fluctuations in energy, that give us a picture. So, we’re using tools to measure energy, and we’re going to be using more and more techniques and approaches that work with energy in a more conscious way. And the blueprint is my approach to that subtle energy body, and my way of working with that and helping people learn how to work with it themselves. Once you understand your blueprint, there are certain practices that will help you. There are certain things that may not be positive for you to be doing. Once you understand what that blueprint is, you can begin to do self-care. For example, can we talk about your blueprint.
Carrie Ann: Yes! So what is my blueprint?
Dr. John Amaral: So for you, there are these different aspects or layers of your energy body, and I’ll just kind of quickly run through them. There’s what’s called the etheric body or life force. It’s very close to the physical body. It’s like that layer of energy you feel when you just very lightly touch somebody. Maybe you’re about to hold someone’s hand, right?
Carrie Ann: (Laughing) That’s like my favorite kind of touch actually!
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah there’s a little vibration or heat. And that vital energy is not only in the physical body, but it’s also in all life – so plants and animals. That’s why sometimes when someone is feeling low energy they just hug their animal. They cuddle their dog and it’s like, yes, I feel better. That’s the life force energy. Then there’s emotional energy. Then there’s mental energy. Then there’s the energy that I call relational, that ties into your heart. The ability to receive and give in a relationship. Then you have what I would call the higher mind, which is tied into your ability to create meaning and optimize your life. And then there is what I would call your soul, the part that transcends the thinking mind. That is your connection to the infinite universe all around you. As you go out further from the physical body, it is an experience of expansion into those higher dimensions of your energy field.
So for you, you’re really connected. Everyone who knows you or has been around you knows that you have a radiance and a vibration. You bring a lot of joy and light, and you’re very connected. When I go off 4, 5, 6 feet from your body, you open up, there’s freedom, there’s flow. I would say you’re very resourced in that part of your energy blueprint. Your sense of yourself and the universe become blended into one. You also are very connected to your emotional. Sometimes we get energized by that energy within ourselves. And sometimes it takes other things outside of ourselves, or other people, to bring about that awareness. For you, when you’re around others, it lights up your emotions. With the way you’re wired, it would be more challenging to feel your own emotions by yourself, without some reference from others. I’m not saying you don’t feel deeply, but the expression of and ability to connect into the emotional body pulls you into relationships in a way that also helps you give your gifts. Even when I was working with you on the table, you said you were feeling this golden light.
Carrie Ann: I always feel golden light.
Dr. John Amaral: So you’re very golden, and that’s part of the energy blueprint. It’s your connection into that infinite field.
Carrie Ann: And that’s what this series is all about, is trying to spread the joy and spread awareness. But you talked about my emotional body pulling me into relationships with others, and that can lead to codependency. It can also lead to an anxious attachment style. I attach to people very quickly, and it’s really hard for me to detach from people. Do you think that could be part of the reason why?
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah, I think our attachment styles and how we were wired in our early years of life absolutely influences what parts of our blueprint get activated. I see the blueprint as something that’s there. It’s like you come into this world with it, and then how you activate it or what parts you’re not using as effectively is something that can be learned. If you had anxious attachment and you learned to get into these more codependent relationships, then by connecting to the emotional part of your energy body you can learn how to be in relationships with others without attaching in a dysfunctional way. You can start to take responsibility for your patterns, but allow the expression of that energy. And then learn how to feel your own emotions without necessarily that grasping or attachment. So there’s ways to work with this blueprint that kind of free you up from the attachment. It frees you up from the conditioning, and there’s an art and a science to it. Currently, I have a questionnaire around this and eventually we will make it so people can check to see what their personal blueprint is.
Carrie Ann: That’s very exciting, because I think that’s going to help a lot of people. You just talked about the relationships and how my previous style was a very codependent style, but I have been working on myself for the past 8 months. So, I want to know if you noticed a shift in the way my energy flowed? And if you notice a difference from the last time we worked together to now?
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah, I absolutely do. There’s a part of the blueprint that’s the life force energy, or you could call it the etheric body, and it’s that sense of life force. And that energy and that consciousness is tied into survival, certainty, and needing to keep it all together. And if we feel challenged and we don’t feel like we have enough flow of life force, we tend to tighten up because we’re trying to just stay safe.
Carrie Ann: Fight or flight.
Dr. John Amaral: Yes, fight or flight, and freeze mode. We freeze it all up, because I don’t feel like I have enough energy to make it through. If I freeze it all up, I’ll be safe. I’ll somehow be able to get through this. What I noticed working with you today is that there was more flow of life force. In your energy blueprint, the life force was activated in a healthy way. Which means you go from holding it all together to like, I’m here, I’m in this body. I’m grounded, I’m present, I’m alive and I’m safe in the world.
When I started working with you, it was immediately flowing. That told me that whatever work you’ve been doing in the time since we’ve worked together shifted you. You’ve shifted from that vigilant, protective, survival mode to more safety and more presence with your body. That was one of the challenges that has been going on for you, and for a lot of people. With the way you’re wired, it’s easy for you to connect to the place where you and the universe emerge. You can connect to that more easily than some people, but the challenge for you was staying connected to that while also coming into your body and being here in this physical body. That’s where I see a huge shift. You were both connected in that way and grounded in your body, which means you get to have that expanded state. You get to feel open, free, and awake at the same time, and still be here doing what you’re made to do.
Carrie Ann: I want to talk about the healing really quickly. During the healing, I move a lot. Some people have seen your viral healing videos with others moving around a lot and been like, is that an exorcism? There’s naysayers. And I’m just curious, what do you say to that? It’s not an exorcism, and I can speak to that. But I move, and some of it I’m doing because I feel good. Some of it is intentional because I’m letting things out. Some of it is not intentional.
Dr. John Amaral: This comes back to that conditioning. When is it appropriate to move your body in these ways? In the sessions, that’s an appropriate environment and a really safe place for you to just let it go. So when you’re working with the energy field, each layer of the blueprint has a different effect in the physical. Just like if you hold a magnet over a bunch of pieces of metal, it’ll move the metal. That magnetic field will influence the physical. The same thing happens in our bodies. Our sensory systems are picking up information and the body is going to move and respond. If you are driving in your car and you look in the rearview mirror and see flashing lights, you might have tension, stress, or stop breathing. And then they go by and you feel the big release, nothing touched you. It was just light. Nothing touched your body, but your body responded and went into tension.
The same thing can happen when something positive happens. You feel or sense someone’s energy feel that inspires you, or you feel your own connection to a higher sense of yourself. And all of a sudden your body opens up. Typically, when you relax, you go into extension. Your neck goes back, your heart lifts up, your arms open up. So when I’m working with people, I’m working on those different levels of the energy field and I’m looking for the physiology and the anatomy that shift. Part of it is unconscious, and the work influences your body directly. Your body will just respond without you doing anything. Part of it is interactive, where you’re like, oh, this feels good. I’m going to do that more.
Carrie Ann: Right. You and your energy creates a very safe space to allow the person on the table to release, and be free and completely authentic. Which we are not always able to be in life. And I think that’s a beautiful gift. You’ve talked about energy spots. What are those so that people can understand how you start to work?
Dr. John Amaral: When you have stress, an injury, a trauma, a loss, or an accident, whether that be physical, emotional, or psychological, they all create a similar kind of reaction in different ways. The body goes into fight or flight, it goes into protective mode. When that happens, you’re tightening everything up. Your breath gets more shallow. Your nervous system goes under tension, the tissues of your body tighten up. There’s a holding of energy, and when that energy starts flowing and releasing, there’s a discharge of that tension. And that’s where that movement can come from. The muscles and tendons are releasing, so someone might start vibrating just like animals will shake after they experience a stressful situation. And when I’m working with someone on the table, or I’m teaching someone how to work with this themselves, we want to identify the places where you can have access to your energy. The places that are most open and most free-flowing already. Which is interesting because most people think, well, it’s hurting here, it’s tight here.
Carrie Ann: So it’s not like acupuncture where you go to the pain and tight part.
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah, and interestingly, when they work with those points in the meridian system, acupuncturists don’t always go to that place of pain first. They want to open up the flow of energy so that it helps the whole system begin to relax.
Carrie Ann: So you go to the most open spot.
Dr. John Amaral: Yes, I go to the most open. It’s showing somebody, hey, you know that this is working really well? And they’re like, oh wow, hey, you know, I didn’t think of that. And it’s like, you know, you’re pretty amazing. And they’re like, I think I am! All of a sudden they start feeling more resourced. If we show your brain how to associate with a place in your body that is actually already flowing, it starts that circuit building. It starts building that pattern and then you go, oh wow. I can actually breathe more easily here. Now I can start to unwind this and now we will actually guide you into starting to change things. I call it generative, meaning you you’re putting a focus on something that’s working and you’re enhancing.
Carrie Ann: Oh, I like that. Like positive reinforcement.
Dr. John Amaral: Yes. We go, where is the energy already flowing positively and let’s get that flowing even more. That will spill over and start drawing along the areas that are bound up. Technically, that’s called entrainment in physics. You take something that’s already flowing and you help it spread. Then it touches the places that are bound up and pretty soon you’re like, oh, I feel more free. Instead of saying, this is wrong and that is wrong. I think it’s also important not to just go, I only want to focus on what’s great and not focus on what’s not working. Because that can be a bypass, that can be denial. To go to those places that are more challenged, to go to those places where there’s a relationship challenge, or a physical challenge, or something that’s harder to be with, let’s first start with where we can connect. From there, let’s start to take a journey into these other places. That’s always how I work. I see these spots you’re asking about as access points or portals. Like little wormholes into the energy system.
Carrie Ann: I can feel it. One of the concepts you’ve also taught me about is grounding, and going outside and putting my feet in the earth. Why is that important?
Dr. John Amaral: It’s important for a number of reasons. That sense of being ground and connected to your body and at the same time being expanded and connected to the universe all around you is an integrated approach. Some people have more of a challenge feeling their connection to something great or something transcendent. Some people have an easy time connecting to that transcendent, but more of challenge in grounding and connecting to their body. It’s important because the grounding also connects you into a life force energy, which is that first layer of your blueprint. That life force energy is what is involved in all the functions of your body, beneath the radar. For example, you don’t have to think about your heart beating, your immune system working, your cell repair and regeneration, your digestion. All of that is connected to the life force energy. Grounding and feeling present with your body right here in this time and space is what helps you stay in the present, helps you stay vital, and helps you stay in flow in the physical. Versus just sort of leaving your body to go into these higher states that don’t have a connection to this time and space.
Carrie Ann: I have learned that it really is a lot of work to achieve wellness. There are so many layers to healing and this inner and outer world or spirit. It takes intention. And I think what you’ve given the world through your gift is a very clear – even though it doesn’t seem so at first – understanding of how it all comes together. And I just want to thank you because you’re amazing. And your work with me has helped me tremendously.
What do you think about the energy blueprint? Are you curious to find out what yours is? Would you work with an energy healer? Let us know in the comments below! We would love to hear from you!
As Carrie Ann said, there are so many layers to healing. Body and energy work is just one layer that is available for you to try. Carrie Ann Conversations is all about providing you with access to information so that you can make your own informed decision for your health. It takes work to sift through the abundance of options out there, but it’s worth it to find what really works for you.
For more information on Dr. John Amaral and his Energy Flow Formula, follow the links below:
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