What do you do when you’ve lost yourself? When you can no longer see the end of you and the beginning of someone else? When you’ve finally seen through the fog of exhaustion and turmoil and can’t recognize who you are? You know you have to break the cycle, but you have no clue where to start. It’s an incredibly scary and isolating thought, not knowing how to free yourself from the grip of someone you once thought you loved. However, there’s a path in front of you leading you out of the storm, and all you have to do is take the first step.
THE WARNING SIGNS
You know something is wrong. You don’t recognize the person you once used to be. It is painful to think that you’ve fallen into someone else’s trap. You question yourself, and that’s understandable. So how do you know with certainty that it was someone else chipping away at your sense of self all along?
You’ve lost sight of your own personal goals
You feel emotionally numb
Your partner makes you feel crazy when you try to address problems, leading you to believe the problem is your fault (otherwise known as gaslighting)
You have lost touch with friends and other loved ones
You jump to meet your partner’s needs at the expense of your own
You walk on eggshells around your partner, and do anything to keep the peace
Your partner makes you question every decision you make
You are highly controlling of every other aspect of your life (even other people), because you have zero control of your personal life
You sacrifice opportunities that would lead to your own personal or professional growth
You often feel guilty about anything you say or do
Your partner withholds affection or disappears for periods of time
Your partner uses passive aggressive tactics to retaliate against perceived slights
Your relationship progressed very quickly, and went from one extreme (such as over the top expressions of love) to the other
HOW TO HEAL
Ask for professional help
Leaving an emotionally or physically abusive relationship is hard enough, and dealing with the aftershocks can be just as difficult. These types of relationships can lead to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, uncertainty, and an overall sense of fear (Psych Central). A therapist or psychiatrist can guide you through the process of recovery and provide support every step of the way.
Make a plan
Having a plan in place to handle triggers and possible unsafe situations can help to boost your sense of confidence and control over your recovery. A professional can aid in setting up a concrete plan for various problems that you may face.
Utilize your support system
It’s not uncommon for emotional or narcissistic abusers to alienate you from friends and family. In order to heal, it is important to reconnect with these people and lean on them for support (Verywellmind).
Show yourself love and prioritize self-care
Self-care and self-compassion are essential components of life in general, but particularly integral to putting the pieces of your sense of self back together. Take time to do things you love, have fun, and above all, rest.
Work diligently on your self-talk – it is NOT your fault
Emotional and narcissistic abusers are known for distorting reality, gaslighting, and eroding your self-confidence. You may have gotten into a pattern of guilt and harsh self-judgment, and it’s important to take that belief system apart. Reframing your self-talk is the first step to doing so.
Learn how to trust yourself and others again
Abusers can do a number on your radar for warning signs, which can lead to distrust of others (Cleveland Clinic). It will take time, but through therapy and educating yourself on the signs of manipulation, it is possible to trust again. Not only trust in future partners, but trust in yourself.
Finding yourself again after living in a manipulated reality is difficult, but worth the journey. Reach out, because there will be someone to grab your hand. Whether you know it or not, there are people in your life who love you and are waiting in the wings. Take that first step, and they’ll be there to pick you up until you’re strong enough to do it yourself.
In the past year, my health has become so much more stable than it has been in the past five years or more. Many people have asked me, how did I do it? Well, the truth is, I didn’t do it alone. I worked hard and gathered an incredible team to help me make the best choices, and teach me ways to take better care of my health and chronic illnesses in a holistic way. Up until that point, I had been mostly managing pain, managing symptoms, and just trying to be well enough to get to my job and be my best for everyone else who depends on me. Over the course of the break I took last year to focus on my overall wellness, I learned the great value of having a supportive team. When most of us think of wellness, we think of our doctors. And if you’re a little more forward thinking, or were not raised on Western medicine, you may have an acupuncturist, chiropractor, or a masseuse on your team. But as we’ve discussed in our previous articles, there’s also another layer – our mental wellness and focusing on our dreams.
Coaches can be a great addition to your team, and I myself work with an ADHD coach who has taught me so much about the way my brain works. And that has lessened the stress that caused my autoimmune flare ups. I can’t say that it’s going to happen for everyone, but I will say it was a missing link in my puzzle. Also, working with the incredible Dr. Amen has helped me tremendously, as he was very consistent in my life and very proactive in every decision I made. He has met with me regularly since I called him that one night while he was watching Game of Thrones, and I was unsure if I was going to make it to the next day. Then there’s the Medical Medium, Anthony William, who has been my friend but has also been helping me with his incredible advice. He showed me which recipes and protocols from his books that I should follow, and helped me to realized that it was Epstein Barr syndrome that was wreaking havoc on my system. Then I have a person who works with me on my physical activity, my trainer, Michelle Lovitt. She also helps me manage the muscle tightness that comes along with my fibromyalgia, lupus, Sjogren’s syndrome, scoliosis, and spinal stenosis.
What’s important when you’re dealing with health or mystery illness, even if it’s just getting older, is to find the answers that make sense for you and give you lasting results. I thought that if you have an autoimmune condition, you go to a rheumatologist. You do everything they say, and that’s it. Then you go to a pain doctor and do everything they say. And then you go to the orthopedic surgeon and you get their advice. The truth is, it’s a combination of both and it takes an incredible amount of energy, focus, and note taking to come back from a mystery illness. This could even be long haul COVID or whatever you want to call it. Health has a lot to do with your own energy blueprint. I think it’s fascinating to approach my own health that way. And because of that new approach, my homeostasis in a much better place now. I’m eternally grateful for that and to all the people that are a part of my team.
So if you’re struggling with chronic or mystery illnesses, I suggest gathering a team. You need the support. You need their information, you need their years of studying, so that they can help you find the answers that work specifically for you. But they also need you to be proactive. You are the leader of the team, not the doctors. My wish for everyone is to have a life that feels good, and a life that is fulfilling. If you’re in constant pain, feel incredible lethargy, can’t focus, can’t sleep, are having unexplained panic attacks, or are so overwhelmed that you can’t keep your job, it’s time to start building your wellness team.
Here’s a list of my own personal wellness team, the types of people on it, and what I go to them for:
Rheumatologist – A rheumatologist is “an internist or pediatrician who received further training in the diagnosis (detection), and treatment of diseases that affect the muscles, bones, joints, ligaments, and tendons” (rheumatology.org). My rheumatologist helps me with my autoimmune conditions and he is the one who orders the blood tests to help me diagnose what is going on.
Functional Medicine Doctor – “Functional medicine doctors use specialized training and techniques to find the root causes of complex illnesses. They may investigate multiple factors causing a condition, or they may look into multiple conditions causing one symptom” (webmd.com). My functional medicine Doctor helps me think about my body as a whole, and what could be causing some of the symptoms, like Lyme Disease and other areas that the rheumatologist doesn’t cover.
Body Workers – Bodywork is “any therapeutic or personal development technique that involves working with the human body in a form involving manipulative therapy (like massage), breathwork, or energy medicine” (wikipedia.org). If you can afford to get some body work with a massage therapist, that is helpful to keep things moving. They can help alleviate pain and keep things flowing.
Pain Management Doctor – I believe in pain management. When you are in immense pain, it is difficult to be your own health advocate. In order to manage and heal from autoimmune issues, it takes a lot of work and concentration. I work with a pain management doctor, which is a specialist that “treats patients experiencing chronic, sometimes disabling, pain” (health.usnews.com).
Psychiatrist – Psychiatry “is the branch of medicine focused on the diagnosis, treatment and prevention of mental, emotional and behavioral disorders” (psychiatry.org). I work with Dr. Daniel Amen, who has helped me immensely ( see our conversation here) by using brain imaging. Seeing what is going on with my brain helps me to understand how to approach my own mental health. We look at it as brain health, and if we make the brain healthy, the rest will follow.
ADHD Coach – I work with an ADHD coach who helps me keep my stress levels down so that I don’t overwhelm my body and cause a flare up. She helps me find solutions for some of the problems I struggle with in life. ADHD coaches “work collaboratively with their clients who have ADHD or ADHD-like symptoms to address specific needs and personal goals” (chadd.org).
Reiki Healer – I work with a lot of energy workers. For me, it helps. “Energy medicine aims to help the flow of energy and remove blocks in a similar way to acupuncture or acupressure. Reiki practitioners believe that improving the flow of energy around the body can enable relaxation, relieve pain, speed healing, and reduce other symptoms of illness” (medicalnewstoday.com). As a dancer I am tuned in to my body’s energy so these types of healers have been helpful. But it doesn’t work for everyone.
Acupuncturist – I work with an acupuncturist as well. I have used acupuncture my whole adult life to help with injuries and keep my system running well. Acupuncture is “a system of integrative medicine that involves pricking the skin or tissues with needles, used to alleviate pain and to treat various physical, mental, and emotional conditions” (Oxford Dictionary). If you don’t like needles, this may not be for you. If not, you could use acupressure as an alternative.
My friends and family – This is the support group that we all need. Having friends that will listen or understand that sometimes you need extra help is wonderful. The unconditional love of family and friends is so important. Make sure you let them know how grateful you are… and how much you appreciate them. It’s not easy for people to understand what it’s like to live with autoimmune disease or chronic illness.
Online support groups – Sometimes you just need people who understand what it’s like to have the illness or condition you have. They can help give honest feedback about medications and side effects, and how it feels emotionally to have certain conditions. I am a member of the Sjogrens Sisters group and a Lupus and Fibromyalgia group. I can discuss openly some questions I have and get responses from other people who have the same symptoms I have. I have found these groups to be very helpful. Just remember that they are not experts in the field, but they are people who live with it. So do not follow any advice unless you clear it with your own doctor as well.
It’s also important to note that finding a good doctor might take some trial and error. Be persistent. A doctor should be empathetic, a good listener, and willing to be collaborative. If you don’t feel comfortable with a doctor or feel that they are dismissing any of your symptoms, try someone else. You should not have to fight to prove to a medical professional that you are experiencing pain or discomfort. You deserve perfect wellness, and don’t settle for anything less!
When was the last time someone told you (or you told yourself), “everything happens for a reason” or “it could be worse”? Maybe you were the person saying these things to a friend, which is something that we’re all guilty of. We’ve heard platitudes like these so many times that they slip off the tongue without a second thought. But what if seemingly positive statements meant to sooth us have the potential to do more damage than good?
HOW TO RECOGNIZE FORCED POSITIVITY
According to Medical News Today, forced or false positivity is “an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic”. It’s an idea that we see all over social media, but isn’t something so overtly wrong that our antennas go up. False positivity instead takes a more insidious approach, lulling our true emotions to sleep in a rush of flowery fonts and bright colors. We may not even notice how deeply the belief that we should “just focus on the positive” is ingrained in us until our emotions have reached a boiling point. So what exactly should we be watching out for, both in what we take in and how we speak to loved ones? Here is a quick list of phrases and affirmations that may actually be stunting your growth and putting a halt to any processing you need to do.
“It is what it is”
“Think on the bright side”
“Everything happens for a reason”
“It could be worse”
“Think positive”
“Just stay positive”
“It’s fine”
“Happiness is a choice”
“Don’t worry, be happy”
“The glass is half full, not half empty”
“We all have the same hours in a day”
“Good vibes only”
There’s nothing inherently wrong with these statements. It’s the way that they are used that can be damaging. Positivity is wonderful, and we all need a little bit of it – a positive quote can go a long way in cheering us up! However, using these statements to push down pain or feelings deemed as “negative” means that we are rejecting a fundamental human experience. Life is not without pain, anger, confusion, sadness, etc. Harvard medical school psychologist and emotions researcher, Dr. Susan David, said it best – “discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life”.
THE EFFECTS OF FORCED POSITIVITY
While it’s easier said than done, processing our emotions is a much better solution than telling ourselves or others that everything will work out in the end. It’s so easy to mask, reject, and replace our feelings with a quick fix. And if we go so far as to never process any discomforts, it’s possible that we’ve gaslit ourselves into a distorted reality. Unsurprisingly, this forced positivity actually stunts positive growth. We learn from hard situations and our reactions to them. If we never give ourselves the opportunity to take action, how can we expect to improve at all?
It’s even easier to project these false beliefs onto our friends or loved ones. “My best friend is feeling bad? I’ll tell them to look on the bright side and we’ll go out for margaritas. Problem solved”. Instead of listening to our friend, we assuage them with a pat phrase that sounds nice but doesn’t actually help in any meaningful way. Dr. Susan David describes this kind of situation as signaling to others that “my comfort is more important than your reality”. Essentially, you’ve projected a rose colored positivity filter onto someone else’s reality and negated their own experience.
Beyond minimizing and masking feelings (both in ourselves and others), forced positivity can eventually create a sense of guilt and shame every time we have one of those pesky “negative” emotions. “I’m a lucky person, I should be grateful for everything that I have. Others have it much worse. There’s no good reason for me to feel this way, I should be happy all the time”. Again, this type of thinking takes our humanness out of the equation, and leaves no room for self-compassion. We stop short of understanding why we feel a certain way and fall straight into a shame spiral.
WAYS TO BRING BALANCE
So, how can we more effectively process our own emotions and be there for the people we love when they are experiencing pain?
Hold space for your emotions. Notice them, acknowledge them, and listen to them. Same goes for friends and family. Sometimes listening and acknowledging is the first step to begin to process a situation and grow from it. Chances are your partner or your friend wants your support more than they want a solution.
Understand that you can hold multiple emotions simultaneously. Humans are complex, and we can’t expect our own feelings to be cut and dry. Give yourself grace when you don’t know how to feel, or are overwhelmed by your emotions.
Take stock of the messaging you are surrounding yourself with. If you think that those positivity social media accounts you follow are contributing to the problem, unfollow them. Don’t let an account dictate your reality.
Learn to be more aware of your thoughts and when you are actively avoiding something. If you’ve accepted a situation and are doing what you can to find positives within it, you’re probably ok. However, if you are avoiding the reality of a situation altogether, it’s time to reevaluate your thought process.
Don’t automatically judge yourself for not “making the best” out of a situation. Life can be hard, and not every situation needs to have something “good” come from it. Sometimes the most productive thing to do is to get through a situation as best you can. Learn what you can, acknowledge what you feel, and move on.
Positivity is double-edged sword. If used properly, it can uplift our spirits and get us out of a funk. But forced positivity can also mask pain and create mental health problems down the line. Next time you hear yourself saying “look at the bright side”, pause for a moment. Check in with yourself. You’re allowed to not be ok.
The conversation around mental health has really opened up in the last few years, moving us closer to normalizing getting help. And not only just getting help, but seeking a better understanding of yourself. Both coaching and therapy can be avenues to learn more about yourself and tackle any problems you’re experiencing. So how do you choose which one is right for you? What is the difference? If you’re stuck wondering if you need a therapist or a life coach, this article is for you!
WHERE TO BEGIN?
The first step in determining whether or not your situation is better suited towards a life coach or a licensed therapist is to know the difference between the two. In general, “psychotherapists direct the course of therapy by planning treatment and case management” and “coaches facilitate the client’s accountability in authoring the goals and action steps”, according to an article from the National Library of Medicine. Basically, life coaches can help you make action plans for specific goals and guide you through the process. They focus more on the “how” instead of the “why”.
This can be extremely helpful if you’re looking for help in a specific area. We’ve all experienced times of uncertainty, especially in our careers. Maybe you’re a 20-something that knows the direction you want to head but need a manageable, structured way to get there. Or maybe you don’t know what you want to do at all! A life coach that specializes in careers will help you explore your strengths and set achievable goals to build your confidence. If you’re seeking help with accountability and would like to create a structured plan tailored to you, a life coach might be the way to go!
Here’s a list of just a few of the types of life coaches out there:
Career
Business / Executive
Accountability
Learning Disorders (ADHD, Dyslexia, etc.)
Dating
Creativity
Health & Wellness
If you are finding that the difficulty with making changes in your life is “due to underlying emotional or relational problems” seeing a therapist might be more effective. Especially if you are experiencing “symptoms, somatic and/or psychological, driven by past experience” (Livingstone, National Library of Medicine). If there’s more to the situation than needing an action plan, or you’d like to explore yourself further, a licensed therapist can help to unravel anything holding you back.
Just like coaches, counselors also have specialties in the way that they approach therapy and treat patients. A therapist can pretty much do all the things a life coach can do, but can also dig deeper into more complex problems. Maybe you need some guidance in your career, but you know that anxiety is an underlying issue that could be affecting your growth. In this case, a therapist might be more beneficial than a life coach. They will be able to give you surefire tools to manage your anxiety while planning a course of action.
A good therapist can generally treat a very wide variety of issues, but some may have specialized training in certain areas. Below are just a few:
PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
Anxiety
Depression
OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)
Relationships
Eating disorders
Grief
EMDR therapy for trauma (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing)
SAY WHAT? THE JARGON
Before you get into the search process, it’s important to understand the types of professional designations in therapy and coaching. Formal training is a big factor in differentiating therapists and coaches, and if you don’t know the jargon it can make the process that much more overwhelming. Looking up what every single acronym means is time consuming and can feel like a job! Luckily we’ve rounded up the terms you’re likely to see over and over again so the information you need is all in one place. Here’s a quick rundown of the most common types of therapists you can expect to find during your search:
Psychiatrist – A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor. They can diagnose psychological conditions and prescribe medication for them, as well as provide psychotherapy.
Psychologist – Some psychologists are research based and stay within the academic field. However, many specialize in counseling and go the route of treating patients. “A clinical or counseling psychologist is a mental health professional who attended graduate school and earned a doctoral degree in clinical psychology or counseling psychology. These degrees are followed by a clinical internship which is then followed by passing national and state exams and, finally, licensure by state” (Forbes).
LMFT – Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists generally treat a wide array of people, but specialize in marriage, relationships, and family dynamics. “Licensure as an LMFT requires a graduate degree, a period of supervised practice, and a two stage examination process” (mft-license.org)
LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Workers “hold masters degrees and work with individuals and groups to solve mental health and social problems, marshalling skills in both therapy and the traditional practical solutions that social services provide” (humanservicesedu.org).
Life coaches do not require licensing by the state, and therefore do not have a centralized set of standards. However, many life coaches get their designations from the International Coaching Federation (ICF). The highest designation is a Master Certified Coach (MCC). According to the ICF, they “are highly trained (200+ hours) and experienced (2,500+ hours) coaches. They have demonstrated knowledge and highly proficient application of the ICF Core Competencies, Code of Ethics, and definition of coaching”.
Finding a coach that is either an MCC or on the path to achieving an MCC designation seems to be the best bet in terms of confirming that the person helping you has undergone rigorous training and upheld a certain standard of practice.
THE SEARCH BEGINS
Now that you’ve determined whether or not you’d like to see a life coach or therapist, it’s time to start the search for one. It can be a daunting task, and is what stops a lot of people from getting help. This is especially true if you’re on the younger side and are laser focused on getting to a point where you are financially stable. Who has time for a therapist? I’ll think about it later when I have a house and a dog. That’s very important, but it doesn’t mean that your self development has to suffer. This is the time to explore, try new things, and get to know yourself. Easier said than done, but it’s all about taking one step at a time.
Below are amazing resources that make finding help as easy as the click of a button.
Psychology Today – This website has it all. Besides being a great resource for learning more about the field of psychology in general, the site has a search tool that allows you find therapists in your zip code. Beyond that, the search engine has a detailed filtering system, so you can narrow down results through specialties, gender, and insurance.
International Coaching Federation – The IFC website has its own database of coaches that all have credentials. If an MCC is too expensive, you can filter to find Associate and Professional Certified Coaches. They may have less professional hours than an MCC but that does not mean that they aren’t skilled at what they do!
Psychologist Locator by the American Psychological Association – If you have decided that you’d like to see a psychologist, this database is a surefire way to find one with amazing credentials.
Many people also find therapists and coaches through word of mouth. If you have a friend that raves about their therapist, ask if they’d be willing to give you their information. One of the great things about therapy and coaching becoming more mainstream is that it’s so much easier to talk about with your friends. But, don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel a connection with the person they recommend. Sometimes finding the right person takes more than one session, and there’s no “right” way to find help. Hopefully this article gave you the information you need to make an informed decision that is best for your wellbeing. You deserve nothing but the best!
It’s easy to look at the wellness trends out there and think “I don’t have time for that”. Especially when social media perpetuates a kind of perfection that just doesn’t exist. We’ve all seen the TikToks or posts that outline someone’s flawless daily wellness routine, otherwise known as the “that girl” trend. You’ve seen that girl all over the internet – she eats clean, lives in the mid-century modern apartment of your dreams, makes a perfect matcha latte, and has all the time in the world for self-care. Meanwhile, you’re on the verge of turning your closet into a sea of black turtlenecks a la Elizabeth Holmes just to get an extra 5 minutes of sleep.
Fortunately, there are easy ways to incorporate wellness into your life that are attainable and effective. If you’re a 20-something in the middle of building your career and think you just don’t have the time, let me change your mind. Wellness isn’t about making the “right” choices all the time – it’s about making the choices that feel right to you. Here are 8 simple ways you can take advantage of your free time to better your mind, body, and soul.
Take a walk around the block at lunch time or get a change of scenery
Stepping out into the sunshine will not only help to keep your circadian rhythm on track, which will make sleep easier, it’ll also give you a necessary change of scenery. Sometimes you just need to get away from your desk for 5 minutes. There’s a reason Einstein went on frequent walks. Be more like Einstein.
Walks are also a great way to practice mindfulness. One way to do this is to actively pay attention to your surroundings. Notice the trees, the grass, the cars, etc. This is a great trick to use anywhere, at any time, to bring your attention to the present.
Journal for 5 minutes before bed or when you wake up
We’ve all heard about gratitude journaling, but it really does help to shift your mindset. If 5 minutes feels like too long, try timing yourself for a minute. Write down anything that pops into your mind. By reframing your thoughts you’ll set yourself up to create the work/life balance you want
If you’d like to do more self reflection or have trouble following through with self-care, more intentional journaling can help you to hold yourself accountable. Here are some quick prompts that are great for any day:
What are the small steps I’m taking this week to achieve my long term goals? What am I doing this week outside of anything work related?
The parts of my day that I enjoyed the most and the least were…
An ideal wellness routine looks like this to me…What would help me to achieve this?
What do I wish I had more time for and how can I realistically make time?
What did I do to take care of myself today? If I didn’t do anything, what stopped me?
This is what I would tell a friend if he/she was struggling to take time for their mental health right now…
Meditate for 5 mins while you sip your morning coffee
If you’re not a morning person, this can be a great way to start the day off slowly. There are so many great apps out there that have a meditation for everything you can think of. Check out our article on Carrie Ann’s favorite meditation leaders here for some suggestions.
Schedule in breaks during the day and set reminders on your phone
If you’re guilty of plowing through your work without taking adequate breaks, you might want to try setting reminders. Taking the time to get more water, a snack, or text your friend back can allow you to approach the rest of your work with fresh eyes.
Commit to exercising a couple days a week before or after work
Don’t set overwhelming goals. Even committing to two days a week is something.
This could be something as easy as doing a 15 minute YouTube workout.
Add one calming aspect to your night
If you don’t already have a nightly routine, stick in one calming activity that you can easily incorporate every night. Maybe it’s skincare, a cup of tea, or getting through a chapter of the book that’s been sitting on your nightstand. Again, wellness is one step at a time.
Schedule fun during the week
Make plans to get dinner with a friend or your partner after work, or throw caution to the wind and see a movie on a Wednesday night. It’s unhealthy to get stuck in the mindset of living for the weekends. There are 5 other days to have fun too!
Use PTO for mental health days if you need to
Sometimes you need a real break. If you have piles of unused PTO (paid time off), don’t hesitate to use it for a mental health day. Your coworkers will thank you later.
Adding in moments of healthy you-time is essential to your mental health and ultimately the success of your career. You don’t want to wait until you’re burnt out. It takes a lot less effort and time than you may think to get big results. Our generation tends to place a lot of importance on “success”, and we’ve been working ever since we knew what a college application was to chase this dream. Now is the time to create healthy habits so we can look back at our 20s and know we lived them to the fullest. Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider trying one of these tips before you do an Elizabeth Holmes to your closet.
John Amaral is an energy practitioner, author, educator and founder of the Energy Flow Formula, a somatic energy healing practice. Originally trained as a chiropractor, John developed the Formula over 25 years of working with thousands of people from more than 50 countries. His clients include A-list celebrities, entrepreneurs, athletes, influencers and thought-leaders. John uses the unique principles of the Energy Flow Formula to help his clients heal physical injuries, reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and reach and sustain new levels of energy, clarity, and fulfillment so they can feel and live better. Most recently, John appeared in the Goop Labs Netflix series with Gwyneth Paltrow. He has also been featured a number of podcasts, including Bulletproof Radio with Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof.
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s March 24th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Dr. John Amaral. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Have you ever wondered about the “aura” or energy you unconsciously put out into the world? We’ve all said “oh, I like his/her energy” at some point, whether or not we actually understood why we felt this way. It’s just a feeling we get, or an instinct. If you’ve ever wanted to dive deeper into that feeling and explore your own personal energy, Dr. John Amaral is the guest for you! He calls our “vibes” or “auras” the “energy body” that radiates off of our beings. And there’s a lot more to that energy body than you’d think! Read on to hear about what your energy blueprint is and how you can tap into it.
Carrie Ann: I know you talk about an energy blueprint. What is that? How does that work?
Dr. John Amaral: What I call the energy blueprint is the hard wiring you came into this world with. Everybody has kind of a unique style and way of experiencing and processing life. The blueprint has to do with different frequencies, bandwidths, or layers. You might call it the energy body. There is a field of energy around the physical body that radiates out, and it can be many feet off the body. You can measure the electromagnetic field with instruments three to five feet or so off the body.
Carrie Ann: Is it like an aura?
Dr. John Amaral: Aura is another name for it. Some people call it subtle body or the subtle energy body. And people call it the koshas in vedic tradition, like yoga. There are all different names, and different cultures have different names for it. It’s a real thing. It’s kind of a non-thing thing.
Carrie Ann: Even though we can’t see it, it’s real.
Dr. John Amaral: Some people can see it. We have our five senses, and some people can read or see auras, right? So our five senses pick up this subtle energy that is sort of invisible. It’s like another dimension. You can’t see radio waves, you can’t see x-rays, you can’t see infrared.
Carrie Ann: But they’re there, and they’re working!
Dr. John Amaral: And they will affect you. If you are exposed to radiation, it will cause damage. If you tune your antenna into radio frequencies, they’re there. You just set your antenna and you pick up those different frequencies. So, their energies exist, we’re just seeing a tiny bandwidth. We can only see a very, very small bandwidth of the visual field. Everything from gamma radiation, which are really tiny waves, all the way out to radio waves, which span mountains, are there. That’s part of what the energy body is – frequencies of energy that most people don’t see, but some do. For some people it’s more of a feeling, or it’s kinesthetic. Some people hear sounds and tones, but we all have various ways of tuning into this energy around us. There’s actually research on the sense of being stared at. People from around the world have an ability to sense if somebody’s staring at them.
Carrie Ann: For sure! You can feel it.
Dr. John Amaral: And this is non-local, it could be somewhere else in the world. There’s also more research on dogs knowing when their owners are coming home, even if they’re 50 miles away. When they leave the office, the dogs get off the couch. Rupert Shelldrake wrote a book about this. So there’s some nonphysical, energetic, invisible field that we’re tuned into. And this is really where things are going in the 21st century. There’s a lot of movement into what Nikola Tesla called the age of energy. We have devices now, MRIs, which measure fluctuations in energy, that give us a picture. So, we’re using tools to measure energy, and we’re going to be using more and more techniques and approaches that work with energy in a more conscious way. And the blueprint is my approach to that subtle energy body, and my way of working with that and helping people learn how to work with it themselves. Once you understand your blueprint, there are certain practices that will help you. There are certain things that may not be positive for you to be doing. Once you understand what that blueprint is, you can begin to do self-care. For example, can we talk about your blueprint.
Carrie Ann: Yes! So what is my blueprint?
Dr. John Amaral: So for you, there are these different aspects or layers of your energy body, and I’ll just kind of quickly run through them. There’s what’s called the etheric body or life force. It’s very close to the physical body. It’s like that layer of energy you feel when you just very lightly touch somebody. Maybe you’re about to hold someone’s hand, right?
Carrie Ann: (Laughing) That’s like my favorite kind of touch actually!
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah there’s a little vibration or heat. And that vital energy is not only in the physical body, but it’s also in all life – so plants and animals. That’s why sometimes when someone is feeling low energy they just hug their animal. They cuddle their dog and it’s like, yes, I feel better. That’s the life force energy. Then there’s emotional energy. Then there’s mental energy. Then there’s the energy that I call relational, that ties into your heart. The ability to receive and give in a relationship. Then you have what I would call the higher mind, which is tied into your ability to create meaning and optimize your life. And then there is what I would call your soul, the part that transcends the thinking mind. That is your connection to the infinite universe all around you. As you go out further from the physical body, it is an experience of expansion into those higher dimensions of your energy field.
So for you, you’re really connected. Everyone who knows you or has been around you knows that you have a radiance and a vibration. You bring a lot of joy and light, and you’re very connected. When I go off 4, 5, 6 feet from your body, you open up, there’s freedom, there’s flow. I would say you’re very resourced in that part of your energy blueprint. Your sense of yourself and the universe become blended into one. You also are very connected to your emotional. Sometimes we get energized by that energy within ourselves. And sometimes it takes other things outside of ourselves, or other people, to bring about that awareness. For you, when you’re around others, it lights up your emotions. With the way you’re wired, it would be more challenging to feel your own emotions by yourself, without some reference from others. I’m not saying you don’t feel deeply, but the expression of and ability to connect into the emotional body pulls you into relationships in a way that also helps you give your gifts. Even when I was working with you on the table, you said you were feeling this golden light.
Carrie Ann: I always feel golden light.
Dr. John Amaral: So you’re very golden, and that’s part of the energy blueprint. It’s your connection into that infinite field.
Carrie Ann: And that’s what this series is all about, is trying to spread the joy and spread awareness. But you talked about my emotional body pulling me into relationships with others, and that can lead to codependency. It can also lead to an anxious attachment style. I attach to people very quickly, and it’s really hard for me to detach from people. Do you think that could be part of the reason why?
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah, I think our attachment styles and how we were wired in our early years of life absolutely influences what parts of our blueprint get activated. I see the blueprint as something that’s there. It’s like you come into this world with it, and then how you activate it or what parts you’re not using as effectively is something that can be learned. If you had anxious attachment and you learned to get into these more codependent relationships, then by connecting to the emotional part of your energy body you can learn how to be in relationships with others without attaching in a dysfunctional way. You can start to take responsibility for your patterns, but allow the expression of that energy. And then learn how to feel your own emotions without necessarily that grasping or attachment. So there’s ways to work with this blueprint that kind of free you up from the attachment. It frees you up from the conditioning, and there’s an art and a science to it. Currently, I have a questionnaire around this and eventually we will make it so people can check to see what their personal blueprint is.
Carrie Ann: That’s very exciting, because I think that’s going to help a lot of people. You just talked about the relationships and how my previous style was a very codependent style, but I have been working on myself for the past 8 months. So, I want to know if you noticed a shift in the way my energy flowed? And if you notice a difference from the last time we worked together to now?
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah, I absolutely do. There’s a part of the blueprint that’s the life force energy, or you could call it the etheric body, and it’s that sense of life force. And that energy and that consciousness is tied into survival, certainty, and needing to keep it all together. And if we feel challenged and we don’t feel like we have enough flow of life force, we tend to tighten up because we’re trying to just stay safe.
Carrie Ann: Fight or flight.
Dr. John Amaral: Yes, fight or flight, and freeze mode. We freeze it all up, because I don’t feel like I have enough energy to make it through. If I freeze it all up, I’ll be safe. I’ll somehow be able to get through this. What I noticed working with you today is that there was more flow of life force. In your energy blueprint, the life force was activated in a healthy way. Which means you go from holding it all together to like, I’m here, I’m in this body. I’m grounded, I’m present, I’m alive and I’m safe in the world.
When I started working with you, it was immediately flowing. That told me that whatever work you’ve been doing in the time since we’ve worked together shifted you. You’ve shifted from that vigilant, protective, survival mode to more safety and more presence with your body. That was one of the challenges that has been going on for you, and for a lot of people. With the way you’re wired, it’s easy for you to connect to the place where you and the universe emerge. You can connect to that more easily than some people, but the challenge for you was staying connected to that while also coming into your body and being here in this physical body. That’s where I see a huge shift. You were both connected in that way and grounded in your body, which means you get to have that expanded state. You get to feel open, free, and awake at the same time, and still be here doing what you’re made to do.
Carrie Ann: I want to talk about the healing really quickly. During the healing, I move a lot. Some people have seen your viral healing videos with others moving around a lot and been like, is that an exorcism? There’s naysayers. And I’m just curious, what do you say to that? It’s not an exorcism, and I can speak to that. But I move, and some of it I’m doing because I feel good. Some of it is intentional because I’m letting things out. Some of it is not intentional.
Dr. John Amaral: This comes back to that conditioning. When is it appropriate to move your body in these ways? In the sessions, that’s an appropriate environment and a really safe place for you to just let it go. So when you’re working with the energy field, each layer of the blueprint has a different effect in the physical. Just like if you hold a magnet over a bunch of pieces of metal, it’ll move the metal. That magnetic field will influence the physical. The same thing happens in our bodies. Our sensory systems are picking up information and the body is going to move and respond. If you are driving in your car and you look in the rearview mirror and see flashing lights, you might have tension, stress, or stop breathing. And then they go by and you feel the big release, nothing touched you. It was just light. Nothing touched your body, but your body responded and went into tension.
The same thing can happen when something positive happens. You feel or sense someone’s energy feel that inspires you, or you feel your own connection to a higher sense of yourself. And all of a sudden your body opens up. Typically, when you relax, you go into extension. Your neck goes back, your heart lifts up, your arms open up. So when I’m working with people, I’m working on those different levels of the energy field and I’m looking for the physiology and the anatomy that shift. Part of it is unconscious, and the work influences your body directly. Your body will just respond without you doing anything. Part of it is interactive, where you’re like, oh, this feels good. I’m going to do that more.
Carrie Ann: Right. You and your energy creates a very safe space to allow the person on the table to release, and be free and completely authentic. Which we are not always able to be in life. And I think that’s a beautiful gift. You’ve talked about energy spots. What are those so that people can understand how you start to work?
Dr. John Amaral: When you have stress, an injury, a trauma, a loss, or an accident, whether that be physical, emotional, or psychological, they all create a similar kind of reaction in different ways. The body goes into fight or flight, it goes into protective mode. When that happens, you’re tightening everything up. Your breath gets more shallow. Your nervous system goes under tension, the tissues of your body tighten up. There’s a holding of energy, and when that energy starts flowing and releasing, there’s a discharge of that tension. And that’s where that movement can come from. The muscles and tendons are releasing, so someone might start vibrating just like animals will shake after they experience a stressful situation. And when I’m working with someone on the table, or I’m teaching someone how to work with this themselves, we want to identify the places where you can have access to your energy. The places that are most open and most free-flowing already. Which is interesting because most people think, well, it’s hurting here, it’s tight here.
Carrie Ann: So it’s not like acupuncture where you go to the pain and tight part.
Dr. John Amaral: Yeah, and interestingly, when they work with those points in the meridian system, acupuncturists don’t always go to that place of pain first. They want to open up the flow of energy so that it helps the whole system begin to relax.
Carrie Ann: So you go to the most open spot.
Dr. John Amaral: Yes, I go to the most open. It’s showing somebody, hey, you know that this is working really well? And they’re like, oh wow, hey, you know, I didn’t think of that. And it’s like, you know, you’re pretty amazing. And they’re like, I think I am! All of a sudden they start feeling more resourced. If we show your brain how to associate with a place in your body that is actually already flowing, it starts that circuit building. It starts building that pattern and then you go, oh wow. I can actually breathe more easily here. Now I can start to unwind this and now we will actually guide you into starting to change things. I call it generative, meaning you you’re putting a focus on something that’s working and you’re enhancing.
Carrie Ann: Oh, I like that. Like positive reinforcement.
Dr. John Amaral: Yes. We go, where is the energy already flowing positively and let’s get that flowing even more. That will spill over and start drawing along the areas that are bound up. Technically, that’s called entrainment in physics. You take something that’s already flowing and you help it spread. Then it touches the places that are bound up and pretty soon you’re like, oh, I feel more free. Instead of saying, this is wrong and that is wrong. I think it’s also important not to just go, I only want to focus on what’s great and not focus on what’s not working. Because that can be a bypass, that can be denial. To go to those places that are more challenged, to go to those places where there’s a relationship challenge, or a physical challenge, or something that’s harder to be with, let’s first start with where we can connect. From there, let’s start to take a journey into these other places. That’s always how I work. I see these spots you’re asking about as access points or portals. Like little wormholes into the energy system.
Carrie Ann: I can feel it. One of the concepts you’ve also taught me about is grounding, and going outside and putting my feet in the earth. Why is that important?
Dr. John Amaral: It’s important for a number of reasons. That sense of being ground and connected to your body and at the same time being expanded and connected to the universe all around you is an integrated approach. Some people have more of a challenge feeling their connection to something great or something transcendent. Some people have an easy time connecting to that transcendent, but more of challenge in grounding and connecting to their body. It’s important because the grounding also connects you into a life force energy, which is that first layer of your blueprint. That life force energy is what is involved in all the functions of your body, beneath the radar. For example, you don’t have to think about your heart beating, your immune system working, your cell repair and regeneration, your digestion. All of that is connected to the life force energy. Grounding and feeling present with your body right here in this time and space is what helps you stay in the present, helps you stay vital, and helps you stay in flow in the physical. Versus just sort of leaving your body to go into these higher states that don’t have a connection to this time and space.
Carrie Ann: I have learned that it really is a lot of work to achieve wellness. There are so many layers to healing and this inner and outer world or spirit. It takes intention. And I think what you’ve given the world through your gift is a very clear – even though it doesn’t seem so at first – understanding of how it all comes together. And I just want to thank you because you’re amazing. And your work with me has helped me tremendously.
What do you think about the energy blueprint? Are you curious to find out what yours is? Would you work with an energy healer? Let us know in the comments below! We would love to hear from you!
As Carrie Ann said, there are so many layers to healing. Body and energy work is just one layer that is available for you to try. Carrie Ann Conversations is all about providing you with access to information so that you can make your own informed decision for your health. It takes work to sift through the abundance of options out there, but it’s worth it to find what really works for you.
For more information on Dr. John Amaral and his Energy Flow Formula, follow the links below:
With over twenty-five years of dancing experience and several championship titles under her belt, Emmy nominated professional dancer Cheryl Burke tangoed and sambaed her way into the hearts of millions through the hit ABC television show, “Dancing with the Stars”, becoming champion twice: with Emmitt Smith in season three and Drew Lachey in season two. In addition, she has starred in NBC’s “I Can Do That” in 2016 and became a coach on Lifetime’s “Dance Moms” in 2017. In 2020, Cheryl teamed with Backstreet Boys superstar and former DWTS partner AJ McLean to host the iHeart Radio produced podcast, “Pretty Messed Up”. This past year Cheryl also delved into the fashion world with her loungewear collection with clothing brand Bailey Blue.
This article is an excerpt from Carrie Ann’s March 10th, 2022 Instagram Live conversation with Cheryl Burke. It has been edited for length and clarity.
How many times have you seen a pseudo “wellness tips” Instagram post that implies that all it takes to achieve self-actualization is to drink more water and do some stretches? One of the major themes of the Carrie Ann Conversations: Journey to Wellness series is that healing and achieving wellness takes work. It requires trial and error, and an ongoing commitment to do things that feed into every aspect of our wellbeing – mind, body, and spirit. Cheryl Burke is someone who exemplifies this commitment and doesn’t shy away from sharing her own struggles. She’s an open book, and her conversation with Carrie Ann shed a refreshing light on just what it takes to come to a place of true wellness. We hope you enjoy!
Carrie Ann: So, this show is about wellness, as you know, and giving people the tools to help with their own wellness journey. I know you’ve been very open about your healing process and your whole wellness routine. When did healing become a focus for you?
Cheryl Burke: I would say when my father passed away. That was right when I was engaged, in 2019. And I’ve always been very fascinated with the brain, our intelligence, and how that all works. I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts lately, like, honestly, I don’t even listen to music anymore. I’m really into these yogis, even though I’m not a yogi. I’m not even close. But I love the spiritual world. I was born Catholic, and even though I’m not necessarily religious now, I do believe in in higher power. I think with my sobriety, it forced me to have to believe in that. As I started surrendering to that, then I really started diving in deep.
Carrie Ann: When you say that, you mean like a higher power?
Cheryl Burke: A higher power, God, whatever you want to call it. It’s hard for me to say God, but I know that there is a higher power, higher presence, universe, angels, whatever you want to say.
Carrie Ann: Yeah, I think that’s the beauty of this higher power. I was raised Christian, and so I speak to God all the time. But I’m a little bit more aligned with maybe more Buddhist philosophies.
Cheryl Burke: Yes, same.
Carrie Ann: Or Shintoism, like I believe that everything has a spirit. That’s probably from my Hawaiian background, because we have a very large Japanese population there. I think you and I are both melting pots. What are your nationalities again?
Cheryl Burke: I did 23 and Me less than a year ago, and I didn’t realize that I’m 53% Ashkenazi Jewish. And the rest is Filipina. My dad thought he was Irish and Russian, but he clearly didn’t have any clue.
Carrie Ann: You and I bonded on the fact that we both that we were Asian and Irish. (Laughing) We were like, and we can drink!
Cheryl Burke: (Laughing)Yes! I was proud. I was like, we don’t get red!
Carrie Ann: We can handle it! Cut to now, where I don’t drink. I wouldn’t say I’m completely sober, that I don’t drink at all. I’ll drink on a very, very special occasion. I’ve learned that as you get older, it just wears and tears on your body and it’s not worth it. But you’re sober. How did that happen? I’ve been fascinated with this.
Cheryl Burke: It happened right after my father passed away. So a lot of big life moments. But it was honestly for a vanity reason. I’ve said this before, but it was like as if my subconscious was rejecting poison. I used to be a proud, I would say, functioning alcoholic. Not like I was wasted, but nothing would affect me. I thought the alcohol was what would help me out of my social anxiety. It got me more comfortable. The only time I never had to drink was before I danced. But then I realized the after effects, right? So the after effects of being hungover, or starting to feel really insecure. And I truly believe that alcohol does that to your brain – it really made my thoughts louder and louder. It made me start questioning and made me feel insecure. I’ll never forget Chad Ochocinco’s season. We did a foxtrot, and my thoughts were so loud, saying “you’re going to forget your own choreography”. And I forgot my choreography! I swayed the wrong way and it threw him off completely. And after that moment, I just ended up drinking more to quiet my thoughts.
Then, right before Matt and I got married, I basically broke out into hives. So I tried everything (to keep drinking), believe me. I was like, let me take a shot of fireball. Let me try vodka. Let me try wine. All in one sitting, full out. And my whole face turned red. So I was like, I cannot do that. When I make a decision, I make a decision. And then I quit cold turkey. And I’m not saying that it is right or wrong, and that this is the way for everybody. Because most of the time it’s not, a lot of people go to rehab. It’s one step at a time.
Carrie Ann: Can I ask, do you go to meetings?
Cheryl Burke: Yes. I haven’t lately, so I’m not going to say that I’m religious about it. But I do have a sponsor that I check in with every week, as well as two therapists, and an online course. You know, I’m very excessive. I’m an addict, I will always be an addict. And that is something that I have to work on daily. It’s a daily practice for me.
Carrie Ann: Changing the direction of your focus towards wellness, which is what I’ve also done, makes your life so much better. Then there’s this whole new world! And what I have realized is it actually takes a lot of effort to really find true wellness.
You just mentioned that you have a really big team, right? And I think that’s what I’ve learned through this process – it definitely takes a team. Even if you can’t afford to get a psychotherapist, there’s apps that you can use and so many tangible, accessible ways to get help. Also reaching out to friends, like having one friend that you confess these things to that understands or is further on the journey. So, what kind of team do you have?
Cheryl Burke: Okay, let me go back to what you were saying. So, absolutely, I hear you. And I think the wellness doesn’t ever stop, because I am always a work in progress. I think for me, when I do the up and down roller coaster ride, it’s the down that really is the most important. It’s like the failure is what creates the success, right? So without feeling like crap, without feeling like oh my god, I just want to quit, and realizing that this is a test from the universe. And it’s a test to yourself to see how resilient you are and how we will survive, right? We are stronger than we think we are. I’ve I realized that it’s one minute at a time sometimes. For me, it’s not even just one day at a time, because sometimes that’s overwhelming. It’s one hour at a time. It’s literally just right now, which focuses me to stay present.
As far as my wellness journey goes, I have a therapist, and I’m such a huge advocate for therapy. I understand that not everybody can afford it. But it is important to also not just go to a friend or a family member, you want to go to someone who’s not biased, right? If you’re ready for it. Therapy has been instilled in my body and in my lifestyle because of the time when I got sexually molested as a little girl. My mom made sure I was in therapy right away. And then it was up to me when I moved here to Los Angeles, when I was 22. It was like season four or five that I was like, uh-oh, I definitely need to go and talk to somebody. That was the start of my partying journey. And for me, I love it because I’m a very curious person. Curiosity makes me want to wake up in the morning, because I just really love learning.
There was a moment on “Dancing with the Stars” where I was like, I don’t think I can continue doing this anymore. Because I didn’t feel like I was learning anything, I just felt like I was on autopilot. And there’s nothing worse for me than feeling like I’m stagnant. At the end of the day, I was just craving to learn something. So when we added the Argentine Tango to the show, I went to Argentina, I learned how to tango, and it fed my soul. And now I’m like that with my brain and my intelligence. Just little things, like learning that we’re not our thoughts. I wish I learned that in grade school. There’s a lot of things that I wish we would have learned in school. But anyway, moving to the present moment. It’s fascinating. Continuous growth is what I just yearn for, and I’m so eager to learn.
Carrie Ann: I wonder if it’s because dancers are always in motion, right? We might be more aware when we are feeling stagnant, because we are really tapped into our kinesthetic awareness.
Cheryl Burke: Oh, 100%. Because we feel that we’re very in tune with our bodies, but do we listen to our body? I’m currently doing Somatic Experiencing therapy, and then I’ve got my regular therapist. What Somatic therapy has taught me is to not push through when your body tells you to stop. And that’s what we’re all so good at as dancers – like we sprained an ankle, oh, well. I got another ankle, let’s just keep it moving. Now I’m learning how to feel my feelings. And I know that sounds real basic, but it is basic. And that’s okay. I would rather feel my feelings than not, because I know people that keep their feelings inside. I grew up with an Asian mother, who taught me that vulnerability equaled weakness. It’s not courageous. And it has been definitely an eye opener and scary as shit. It’s been really scary for me to be vulnerable, and to figure out, what does that mean? What does that look like for Cheryl? And trying not to set expectations that are too high, trying not to judge my feelings.
But back to what you were saying about body language. I believe that there’s so many different types of therapy out there – you don’t need to just do talk therapy. You don’t have to sit there in front of a stranger and talk – I understand that some people can’t. A family member of mine, who also got sexually molested by the same man, cannot talk about it. I think there’s animals, there’s movement, and I’m creating a dance program, hopefully launching this year, called Body Language. It combines movement and mental health, which is a real thing that works. I only know from experience, which is why I have a partner who’s a certified therapist that can back it up with science.
Carrie Ann: You know, it’s so true. My first experience of dance was when I was four years old. We ran around in an open air pavilion in Hawaii, and it wasn’t labeled as dance, it was more just expression. Everyone has to move. When you look into the science of it, energy has to move, and our bodies need to express ourselves. I worked with an organization a while ago called Drea’s Dream, and it’s for pediatric cancer movement therapy. It’s really powerful because our body never lies, right? And I think, as a judge, whenever I’m watching, I can learn so much about a person. It informs the critiques that I give to people, because it doesn’t lie. I can tell when somebody’s really tense, I can tell when somebody’s really scared. That’s why I’m always encouraging people to shake it off or to push it far enough that they fall. Once you get past that point, it’s so much easier. Is that a part of the new program that you’re starting with somatic movement?
Cheryl Burke: Yeah, I eventually want all different types or styles of dance. But obviously, I’m an expert in ballroom and I know from firsthand experience that it helped me from when I was sexually abused, to when I was dating abusive men. At the end of the day, the reason why I’m sitting here with you now is because of movement. I cannot discredit that. What I’ve learned so far from Dr. Peter Levine, who started this whole somatic intelligence talk, is that movement helps you shake off trauma. Dr. Levine went to Africa, and long story short, studied the animals and how they shake things off. As it turns out, when they shake it off, they’re actually shaking off trauma so that they don’t continue to keep PTSD in their body. So, Body Language is not going to be about choreography or exercise. It’s literally just bringing out the character of each dance. So we go back and relive that trauma, then we shake it off. And we are intentional about what it is that we want to shake off. For example, if we got into a car accident, and were able to get out of the car and literally shake it off, we would never have to experience the PTSD that most people have experienced. And are still experiencing, myself included.
Carrie Ann: Right, because the muscles contract. I’ve done a little work on this, because I’ve had extreme pain from trauma. When we have traumatic experiences, our body tenses, and then if we don’t release the tension, those neural pathways grow tight. If we start to experience anything similar, or in the range of something similar, we will have the same reaction. So your body will overreact, and that’s the PTSD that you’re talking about. But when you shake it off, you don’t allow those pathways to harden. I think this is going to be so great, it’s going to help a lot of people. People don’t necessarily have to understand with their mind what’s happening. This is another entryway for people who don’t want to talk, right? They don’t want to do talk therapy, they don’t want to use their mind. They just want to absorb it and heal.
(Laughing) They’re not like you and I, who are going to read 97,000 books.
Cheryl Burke: And overanalyze it all and take notes.
Who else is excited to try Cheryl’s somatic movement Therapy class when it’s available? She has come up with such a fun, creative concept that opens the door to new healing modalities. The journey to wellness isn’t one size fits all, and that is why we like to highlight many approaches here at CAC. Healing is personal, and sometimes traditional methods may not work for you. Maybe movement therapy is just the thing you’ve been missing! Let us know what you think in the comments, and if anything in particular from this conversation resonated with you.
To watch Carrie Ann’s full interview with Cheryl, click here.
For more information on Cheryl and her loungewear line, follow the links below:
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